BustedKnuckles
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Early-season oddities abound after five weeks
By Tom Danyluk (danyluk1@yahoo.com)
Oct. 11, 2006
We’re five weeks into it, NFL 2006. Many oddities have emerged. Time for some early first impressions:
AFC East
Patriots (4-1) — The names change, the results somehow stay the same. We see it every year, Belichick and the Faneuil Hall of Mirrors.
Bills (2-3) — I asked Buffalo GM Marv Levy what’s the biggest difference in the game since he retired as coach nineyears ago. “Fewer plays,” he said. “Used to be you could count on 75 offensive snaps, but now they want a three-hour game and it’s down to 67, 68. Less time to do the same amount of work.”
Jets (2-3) — New Yorkers had grown tired of Coach Herm and his “We-knew-it-was-going-to-be-a-struggle-coming-in-here” attack. What I’ve seen under Mangini? The same names but a heckuva lot more fire.
Dolphins (1-4) — The defense is trying to hold the fort, muskets blazing, but right now this Miami offense is the biggest train wreck in franchise history. Even the expansion ‘Fins of 1966 averaged more than the current drip of 12 points per game.
AFC North
Ravens (4-1) — McNair at QB has juiced them up, and the defense is roaring, but somehow I still see their season ending in the wild-card round, fourth down at the enemy 30, and it’s incomplete.
Bengals (3-1) — Right where we expected them to be.
Steelers (1-3) — Big Ben looks lost in the pocket, hazy, kind of poking his way through the rush and then — boom! — down he goes. He’s not right. And that offensive line isn’t helping the cause.
Browns (1-4) — How did they get in this quandary? In order — Tim Couch, Courtney Brown, Gerard Warren, William Green, Jeff Faine ... and boy, haven’t we beaten this horse to death?
AFC South
Colts (5-0) — The operation reminds me of the old San Diego Chargers, the Air Coryell days, when the offense would race up and down the field but the defense played like its shoes were too tight. Eventually they’re going to have to stop somebody.
Jaguars (3-2) — A playoff team that survived the early-season gauntlet. Now they’ll settle down to high-carb diet of two Houstons and a pair of Tennessees. Crunch.
Texans (1-3) — They’re trying, baby, they’re trying.
Titans (0-5) — “Excuse my French,” says Mr. Pacman, “but we need some thugs to go out there and get it.” Like I used to say about the old Miami Hurricanes — most thugs wins.
AFC West
Chargers (3-1) — At the moment, the most balanced group in the AFC. November 12th at Cincy already circled on my calendar. (Why the annual tease with those powder blue uniforms? They’re the best in the league, only to be dragged out once a year like a Halloween costume.)
Broncos (3-1) — Things appear to be peachy in the standings, but Shanahan’s bunch is scoring barely 12 points a game. They have four touchdowns. Plummer’s QB rating is 60.9. As Joe Namath would say, they are strug-gul-ling.
Chiefs (2-2) — Guess who’s allowed the second fewest first downs in the league? Are we witnessing the early rumblings of a K.C. defensive resurgence?
Raiders (0-4) — “Who is in charge of the clattering train? The axles creak and the couplings strain and the pace is hot, and the points are near, and sleep has deadened the driver’s ear…” In Oakland they’ll tell you it’s Al Davis. Actually it’s by Winston Churchill, in a cry against pre-war British pacifism.
NFC East
Eagles (4-1) — My biggest misread of the whole lot. Had ‘em swimming in the 6-10, 7-9 pond, but they’ve been on fire from the get-go.
Cowboys (2-2) — A friend called me after the Philly debacle and demanded, “You have to rip Bledsoe for that horrific performance.” I can’t do it. He is what he is, a QB in the twilight…
Giants (2-2) — Wanna know the biggest myth about New York football? It’s that big, blue defense, Strahan and company. When was the last time the Giants fielded a real shutdown operation, one you could count on in the big spots? 1990? '92?
Redskins (2-3) — This team is all over the place — heroic wins, then wimpering losses, all the wild swings. The sign of a team short on leaders.
NFC West
Bears (5-0) — The team to beat, folks. A gang of roughnecks have discovered the passing game, which means look out below. A lock for the NFC title game, unless Rex Grossman fails to get up from under a pile.
Vikings (3-2) — Brad Johnson is 10-4 since taking over as the Vikes’ starter, but I don’t see enough surrounding weaponry to make a run deep into the playoffs.
Packers (1-4) — Last summer I sat in a Cincinnati bar with a Packers fan who was hell bent on telling me things were gonna be different this year … Favre in the best shape of his career ... most talent around him in years … blah, blah, blah. Some cheeseheads just refuse to let go.
Lions (0-5) — I remember a quote by **** Vermeil. “There’s usually a reason when an NFL team needs a new head coach,” he said. “The players are probably not very good.” For GM Matt Millen, it’s three head coaches and counting. That’s a whole bunch of bad players.
NFC South
Saints (4-1) — A dog that’s having its day, so hey-hey, give ‘em a cheer!
Falcons (3-1) — Remember the movie "Groundhog Day," with Bill Murray trapped in a wacky loop, living the same exact day over and over and over? That’s how it is with the Falcons. Alarm clock rings … a fast burst from the gate … the gaudy rushing numbers … the string of incompletions followed by the tired Mike Vick debate … “I’m gonna relax and get back to what I do best,” he’ll respond … the late-season swoon. I need to find a team that plays more like Borat.
Panthers (3-2) — Freakish stat of the season: Carolina’s converting only 18.6 percent on third down, yet still has a winning record. The laws of nature won’t allow this condition to last for long. Something’s got to give.
Buccaneers (0-4) — Another loss and they'll be off to their worst start in 10 years, back when the logo sported puffy shirts and plumes and this kind of behavior was the norm.
NFC West
Rams (4-1) — It’s been a feast on the 7-8-9 hitters of the league. The schedule now stiffens. Let’s see how they handle the meat of the order.
Seahawks (3-1) — They’re coming off their worst defeat in a decade. It’s a confusing message from a team that just played in a Super Bowl.
49ers (2-3) — Offensively I give them credit. QB Alex Smith is stepping up … Frank Gore works his ### off … at least they’re trying. But coach Mike Nolan is a defensive guy, and he’s giving up nearly 30 a game. That’s right where it hurts.
Cardinals (1-4) — I had a relative who gave presents with bizarro contents. One year it was used silverware, with trace elements of food still present. Another time it was spoiled jelly from the 1960s. Reminds me of that beautifully wrapped stadium in Arizona. Open it up and find an ugly, stained sweater.
Tom Danyluk is a freelance sportswriter based in Chicago. His book, "The Super 70s," is now on sale. Visit www.thesuper70s.com for information. You can read his column every Wednesday at ProFootballWeekly.com.
Early-season oddities abound after five weeks
By Tom Danyluk (danyluk1@yahoo.com)
Oct. 11, 2006
We’re five weeks into it, NFL 2006. Many oddities have emerged. Time for some early first impressions:
AFC East
Patriots (4-1) — The names change, the results somehow stay the same. We see it every year, Belichick and the Faneuil Hall of Mirrors.
Bills (2-3) — I asked Buffalo GM Marv Levy what’s the biggest difference in the game since he retired as coach nineyears ago. “Fewer plays,” he said. “Used to be you could count on 75 offensive snaps, but now they want a three-hour game and it’s down to 67, 68. Less time to do the same amount of work.”
Jets (2-3) — New Yorkers had grown tired of Coach Herm and his “We-knew-it-was-going-to-be-a-struggle-coming-in-here” attack. What I’ve seen under Mangini? The same names but a heckuva lot more fire.
Dolphins (1-4) — The defense is trying to hold the fort, muskets blazing, but right now this Miami offense is the biggest train wreck in franchise history. Even the expansion ‘Fins of 1966 averaged more than the current drip of 12 points per game.
AFC North
Ravens (4-1) — McNair at QB has juiced them up, and the defense is roaring, but somehow I still see their season ending in the wild-card round, fourth down at the enemy 30, and it’s incomplete.
Bengals (3-1) — Right where we expected them to be.
Steelers (1-3) — Big Ben looks lost in the pocket, hazy, kind of poking his way through the rush and then — boom! — down he goes. He’s not right. And that offensive line isn’t helping the cause.
Browns (1-4) — How did they get in this quandary? In order — Tim Couch, Courtney Brown, Gerard Warren, William Green, Jeff Faine ... and boy, haven’t we beaten this horse to death?
AFC South
Colts (5-0) — The operation reminds me of the old San Diego Chargers, the Air Coryell days, when the offense would race up and down the field but the defense played like its shoes were too tight. Eventually they’re going to have to stop somebody.
Jaguars (3-2) — A playoff team that survived the early-season gauntlet. Now they’ll settle down to high-carb diet of two Houstons and a pair of Tennessees. Crunch.
Texans (1-3) — They’re trying, baby, they’re trying.
Titans (0-5) — “Excuse my French,” says Mr. Pacman, “but we need some thugs to go out there and get it.” Like I used to say about the old Miami Hurricanes — most thugs wins.
AFC West
Chargers (3-1) — At the moment, the most balanced group in the AFC. November 12th at Cincy already circled on my calendar. (Why the annual tease with those powder blue uniforms? They’re the best in the league, only to be dragged out once a year like a Halloween costume.)
Broncos (3-1) — Things appear to be peachy in the standings, but Shanahan’s bunch is scoring barely 12 points a game. They have four touchdowns. Plummer’s QB rating is 60.9. As Joe Namath would say, they are strug-gul-ling.
Chiefs (2-2) — Guess who’s allowed the second fewest first downs in the league? Are we witnessing the early rumblings of a K.C. defensive resurgence?
Raiders (0-4) — “Who is in charge of the clattering train? The axles creak and the couplings strain and the pace is hot, and the points are near, and sleep has deadened the driver’s ear…” In Oakland they’ll tell you it’s Al Davis. Actually it’s by Winston Churchill, in a cry against pre-war British pacifism.
NFC East
Eagles (4-1) — My biggest misread of the whole lot. Had ‘em swimming in the 6-10, 7-9 pond, but they’ve been on fire from the get-go.
Cowboys (2-2) — A friend called me after the Philly debacle and demanded, “You have to rip Bledsoe for that horrific performance.” I can’t do it. He is what he is, a QB in the twilight…
Giants (2-2) — Wanna know the biggest myth about New York football? It’s that big, blue defense, Strahan and company. When was the last time the Giants fielded a real shutdown operation, one you could count on in the big spots? 1990? '92?
Redskins (2-3) — This team is all over the place — heroic wins, then wimpering losses, all the wild swings. The sign of a team short on leaders.
NFC West
Bears (5-0) — The team to beat, folks. A gang of roughnecks have discovered the passing game, which means look out below. A lock for the NFC title game, unless Rex Grossman fails to get up from under a pile.
Vikings (3-2) — Brad Johnson is 10-4 since taking over as the Vikes’ starter, but I don’t see enough surrounding weaponry to make a run deep into the playoffs.
Packers (1-4) — Last summer I sat in a Cincinnati bar with a Packers fan who was hell bent on telling me things were gonna be different this year … Favre in the best shape of his career ... most talent around him in years … blah, blah, blah. Some cheeseheads just refuse to let go.
Lions (0-5) — I remember a quote by **** Vermeil. “There’s usually a reason when an NFL team needs a new head coach,” he said. “The players are probably not very good.” For GM Matt Millen, it’s three head coaches and counting. That’s a whole bunch of bad players.
NFC South
Saints (4-1) — A dog that’s having its day, so hey-hey, give ‘em a cheer!
Falcons (3-1) — Remember the movie "Groundhog Day," with Bill Murray trapped in a wacky loop, living the same exact day over and over and over? That’s how it is with the Falcons. Alarm clock rings … a fast burst from the gate … the gaudy rushing numbers … the string of incompletions followed by the tired Mike Vick debate … “I’m gonna relax and get back to what I do best,” he’ll respond … the late-season swoon. I need to find a team that plays more like Borat.
Panthers (3-2) — Freakish stat of the season: Carolina’s converting only 18.6 percent on third down, yet still has a winning record. The laws of nature won’t allow this condition to last for long. Something’s got to give.
Buccaneers (0-4) — Another loss and they'll be off to their worst start in 10 years, back when the logo sported puffy shirts and plumes and this kind of behavior was the norm.
NFC West
Rams (4-1) — It’s been a feast on the 7-8-9 hitters of the league. The schedule now stiffens. Let’s see how they handle the meat of the order.
Seahawks (3-1) — They’re coming off their worst defeat in a decade. It’s a confusing message from a team that just played in a Super Bowl.
49ers (2-3) — Offensively I give them credit. QB Alex Smith is stepping up … Frank Gore works his ### off … at least they’re trying. But coach Mike Nolan is a defensive guy, and he’s giving up nearly 30 a game. That’s right where it hurts.
Cardinals (1-4) — I had a relative who gave presents with bizarro contents. One year it was used silverware, with trace elements of food still present. Another time it was spoiled jelly from the 1960s. Reminds me of that beautifully wrapped stadium in Arizona. Open it up and find an ugly, stained sweater.
Tom Danyluk is a freelance sportswriter based in Chicago. His book, "The Super 70s," is now on sale. Visit www.thesuper70s.com for information. You can read his column every Wednesday at ProFootballWeekly.com.
