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Fact or Fiction? Rolling Stone's UVA Gang Rape Story (1 Viewer)

Here's Dunham's statement/apology.

Guessing there will be some sort of settlement as well. Hopefully everyone can now move on. Maybe people will show 10% of the concern for actual rape victims that they showed for a guy they thought was maybe wrongly accused of rape but wasn't really.
Uh that is not good, she only did this when forced into a corner, pretty vile stuff really.

And actually someone that delegitimizes actual rape accusations with false stories for personal gain risking destroying lives and personal reputations forever might just be a couple notches better than the actual rapist in moral abjectivity but that's all.
Do you have proof that she's lying about being sexually assaulted? If not, that's a really terrible accusation to level at someone. I hope you have something to back that up. Otherwise I'd say you're the one "delegitimitizing actual rape accusations."
Not what I said there, Tobes.
Well then I guess I'm confused. Because it sure sounded like you described Dunham as "someone that delegitimizes actual rape accusations with false stories for personal gain," which would obviously mean that you were calling Dunham's story a false one.

If that was just a total non-sequitur that just happened to immediately follow a discussion of someone who included a sexual assault story in a book, my bad I guess.

 
Sweet J said:
So here's the deal: From the bolded summary, it doesn't sound like she is saying she was raped.
In her "apology," she uses the term "sexual assault" over and over to describe her encounter with "Barry," and she also keeps referring to herself as a "survivor." Any ambiguity that she was trying to project in the book seems to be completely lacking from her latest statement.
fair enough. I haven't read the piece myself. But from the "clarification," she definitately uses the term "sexual assault."

I guess I'm where Tobias is: The only thing "proven" here is that she used a name (Barry) that happens to be the name of a real person (or, alternatively, if you are so inclined on believing, she intentionally smeared the name of a real person by using his name as a pseudonym for her acual assaulter). I'm not sure anyone "proved" that she wasn't assaulted.
That's correct. What has been disproven is the statement "I was raped by Barry, the well-known Campus Republican." That allegation is now known to be false. The claim that "I was raped by somebody" may still very well be true. But that's different enough from the first statement that it should be treated as an entirely different allegation.
The claim that she was sexually assaulted by a prominent campus republican at Oberlin may still be true.

 
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Sweet J said:
So here's the deal: From the bolded summary, it doesn't sound like she is saying she was raped.
In her "apology," she uses the term "sexual assault" over and over to describe her encounter with "Barry," and she also keeps referring to herself as a "survivor." Any ambiguity that she was trying to project in the book seems to be completely lacking from her latest statement.
fair enough. I haven't read the piece myself. But from the "clarification," she definitately uses the term "sexual assault."

I guess I'm where Tobias is: The only thing "proven" here is that she used a name (Barry) that happens to be the name of a real person (or, alternatively, if you are so inclined on believing, she intentionally smeared the name of a real person by using his name as a pseudonym for her acual assaulter). I'm not sure anyone "proved" that she wasn't assaulted.
That's correct. What has been disproven is the statement "I was raped by Barry, the well-known Campus Republican." That allegation is now known to be false. The claim that "I was raped by somebody" may still very well be true. But that's different enough from the first statement that it should be treated as an entirely different allegation.
The claim that she was sexually assaulted by a prominent campus republican at Oberlin may still be true.
True. Just not the one she identified (by accident, according to her).

 
Also, her statement sucks.
Respectfully disagree. I think much of what she lays out there is thoughtful, well written, and compelling. It's worth reading with an eye towards a neutral author (I know this would be difficult -- if Ann Coulter wrote something that I happened to agree with, and did so in a non-revolting manner, it would be hard to say to myself "well, regardless of the person writing the piece, it is thoughtful and well-written").

But I understand how folks would not agree. Maybe much of what she writes is controversial. I don't think so, but I can see how someone else would.
I think her statement sucks because of how tone-deaf it is with regards to "Barry." I agree that the rest of the statement (with regards to how women are often treated when dealing with sexual assault, not with regards to the veracity of her own account of being sexually assaulted. I have no idea about that.) is true, and what's in it is valuable, but I think the statement that "Barry" is a pseudonym should have come out much earlier, as its own statement, and I think the way she addresses this, almost as a throwaway comment, makes her seem like she doesn't really care about the real impact of using someone's name and accusing them of sexual assault.

I think most people who agree that sexual assault is a real problem on college campuses and in the country in general, also understand the flip side of the issue, which is that an accusation of sexual assault is also a very big deal. Dunham doesn't seem to understand that, based on her statement.

 
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Terrible apology.

"Barry is a pseudonym. I apologize to the real Barry that various media have tracked down and assumed was my assaulter. I changed details to conceal identities, but I was a victim of sexual assault".

FIN

Instead we got a 50 paragraph diatribe about why it was so wrong for people trying to verify her story, especially when there appeared to be a real person named Barry from Oberlin who was being caught up in this.

 
Also, her statement sucks.
Respectfully disagree. I think much of what she lays out there is thoughtful, well written, and compelling. It's worth reading with an eye towards a neutral author (I know this would be difficult -- if Ann Coulter wrote something that I happened to agree with, and did so in a non-revolting manner, it would be hard to say to myself "well, regardless of the person writing the piece, it is thoughtful and well-written").

But I understand how folks would not agree. Maybe much of what she writes is controversial. I don't think so, but I can see how someone else would.
I think her statement sucks because of how tone-deaf it is with regards to "Barry." I agree that the rest of the statement (with regards to how women are often treated when dealing with sexual assault, not with regards to the veracity of her own account of being sexually assaulted. I have no idea about that.) is true, and what's in it is valuable, but I think the statement that "Barry" is a pseudonym should have come out much earlier, as its own statement, and I think the way she addresses this, almost as a throwaway comment, makes her seem like she doesn't really care about the real impact of using someone's name and accusing them of sexual assault.

I think most people who agree that sexual assault is a real problem on college campuses and in the country in general, also understand the flip side of the issue, which is that an accusation of sexual assault is also a very big deal. Dunham doesn't seem to understand that, based on her statement.
That's a legit point. I agree should have emphasized the apology to/sympathy for this Barry guy more. She addressed it at the outset which is nice, but by turning the statement into a long essay she minimized it.

 
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Terrible apology.

"Barry is a pseudonym. I apologize to the real Barry that various media have tracked down and assumed was my assaulter. I changed details to conceal identities, but I was a victim of sexual assault".

FIN

Instead we got a 50 paragraph diatribe about why it was so wrong for people trying to verify her story, especially when there appeared to be a real person named Barry from Oberlin who was being caught up in this.
:goodposting:

Lena Dunham isn't the first person to do this so I feel kind of bad about singling her out, but it always gets on my nerves when somebody "apologizes" for a mistake on their part (usually something like "I regret that anyone was offended" or "I'm sorry for any harm that occurred" as opposed to "I regret that I offended people" or "I'm sorry for the harm that I caused") and then goes on to lecture the audience about how much they have to learn. I know that's just SOP for the genre these days.

 
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Terrible apology.

"Barry is a pseudonym. I apologize to the real Barry that various media have tracked down and assumed was my assaulter. I changed details to conceal identities, but I was a victim of sexual assault".

FIN

Instead we got a 50 paragraph diatribe about why it was so wrong for people trying to verify her story, especially when there appeared to be a real person named Barry from Oberlin who was being caught up in this.
:goodposting:

Lena Dunham isn't the first person to do this so I feel kind of bad about singling her out, but it always gets on my nerves when somebody "apologizes" for a mistake on their part (usually something like "I regret that anyone was offended" or "I'm sorry for any harm that occurred" as opposed to "I regret that I offended people" or "I'm sorry for the harm that I caused") and then goes on to lecture the audience about how much they have to learn. I know that's just SOP for the genre these days.
IMO, anyone who uses any of the bolded statements isn't really apologizing. If you think it is, try using one of those on your wife the next time you screw up and see how far it gets you.

 
FTR, I think "I consent to have sex with you as long as you use a condom" is a valid position to take. So if someone surreptitiously removes a condom, that removes the consent. I dunno how the #### you could take the condom off without her knowing, but that's another discussion I guess.

 
Here's Dunham's statement/apology.

Guessing there will be some sort of settlement as well. Hopefully everyone can now move on. Maybe people will show 10% of the concern for actual rape victims that they showed for a guy they thought was maybe wrongly accused of rape but wasn't really.
Uh that is not good, she only did this when forced into a corner, pretty vile stuff really.

And actually someone that delegitimizes actual rape accusations with false stories for personal gain risking destroying lives and personal reputations forever might just be a couple notches better than the actual rapist in moral abjectivity but that's all.
Do you have proof that she's lying about being sexually assaulted? If not, that's a really terrible accusation to level at someone. I hope you have something to back that up. Otherwise I'd say you're the one "delegitimitizing actual rape accusations."
Not what I said there, Tobes.
Well then I guess I'm confused. Because it sure sounded like you described Dunham as "someone that delegitimizes actual rape accusations with false stories for personal gain," which would obviously mean that you were calling Dunham's story a false one.

If that was just a total non-sequitur that just happened to immediately follow a discussion of someone who included a sexual assault story in a book, my bad I guess.
Maybe you are, but maybe it's my fault for not being clear:

To be very clear, “Barry” is a pseudonym, not the name of the man who assaulted me, and any resemblance to a person with this name is an unfortunate and surreal coincidence. I am sorry about all he has experienced.
How long exactly has this guy who is/was about to sue been under a cloud of suspicion because of her book and how long has she been refusing to clarify things? How long has this guy been twisting in the wind and how much longer will he continue to be affected by this?

 
Now this is a non-sequiter.

People do lie in their autobiographies.

In his, President Obama claimed that he had a dope dealer who led him into a back alley to initiate him into heroine. Pres. Obama, our president mind you, says that he allowed his arm to be tourniqueted up and that the dealer was on the verge of plunging a heroine filled needle into his arm when he had a sudden revelation about the nature of his existence and his future.

Now - does anyone believe this????

 
Here's Dunham's statement/apology.

Guessing there will be some sort of settlement as well. Hopefully everyone can now move on. Maybe people will show 10% of the concern for actual rape victims that they showed for a guy they thought was maybe wrongly accused of rape but wasn't really.
Uh that is not good, she only did this when forced into a corner, pretty vile stuff really.

And actually someone that delegitimizes actual rape accusations with false stories for personal gain risking destroying lives and personal reputations forever might just be a couple notches better than the actual rapist in moral abjectivity but that's all.
Do you have proof that she's lying about being sexually assaulted? If not, that's a really terrible accusation to level at someone. I hope you have something to back that up. Otherwise I'd say you're the one "delegitimitizing actual rape accusations."
Not what I said there, Tobes.
Well then I guess I'm confused. Because it sure sounded like you described Dunham as "someone that delegitimizes actual rape accusations with false stories for personal gain," which would obviously mean that you were calling Dunham's story a false one.

If that was just a total non-sequitur that just happened to immediately follow a discussion of someone who included a sexual assault story in a book, my bad I guess.
Maybe you are, but maybe it's my fault for not being clear:

To be very clear, “Barry” is a pseudonym, not the name of the man who assaulted me, and any resemblance to a person with this name is an unfortunate and surreal coincidence. I am sorry about all he has experienced.
How long exactly has this guy who is/was about to sue been under a cloud of suspicion because of her book and how long has she been refusing to clarify things? How long has this guy been twisting in the wind and how much longer will he continue to be affected by this?
Re: the bolded- It's been less than a week. The Breitbart story was published on the 4th, obviously took a few days for it to garner attention, Dunham column posted last night.

And yeah, I thought it was pretty clear that you were saying Dunham was "someone that delegitimizes actual rape accusations with false stories for personal gain." I still think it's pretty clear you were saying that. Regardless of what you think of her personally, saying someone falsified a rape story without evidence to support that claim is a pretty crappy thing to do.

 
Now this is a non-sequiter.

People do lie in their autobiographies.

In his, President Obama claimed that he had a dope dealer who led him into a back alley to initiate him into heroine. Pres. Obama, our president mind you, says that he allowed his arm to be tourniqueted up and that the dealer was on the verge of plunging a heroine filled needle into his arm when he had a sudden revelation about the nature of his existence and his future.

Now - does anyone believe this????
I believe his explanation may be a bit embellished, but I believe it's possible he was about to do heroin then changed his mind because... well doing heroin is pretty ####### dumb.

 
Here's Dunham's statement/apology.

Guessing there will be some sort of settlement as well. Hopefully everyone can now move on. Maybe people will show 10% of the concern for actual rape victims that they showed for a guy they thought was maybe wrongly accused of rape but wasn't really.
Uh that is not good, she only did this when forced into a corner, pretty vile stuff really.

And actually someone that delegitimizes actual rape accusations with false stories for personal gain risking destroying lives and personal reputations forever might just be a couple notches better than the actual rapist in moral abjectivity but that's all.
Do you have proof that she's lying about being sexually assaulted? If not, that's a really terrible accusation to level at someone. I hope you have something to back that up. Otherwise I'd say you're the one "delegitimitizing actual rape accusations."
Not what I said there, Tobes.
Well then I guess I'm confused. Because it sure sounded like you described Dunham as "someone that delegitimizes actual rape accusations with false stories for personal gain," which would obviously mean that you were calling Dunham's story a false one.

If that was just a total non-sequitur that just happened to immediately follow a discussion of someone who included a sexual assault story in a book, my bad I guess.
Maybe you are, but maybe it's my fault for not being clear:

To be very clear, “Barry” is a pseudonym, not the name of the man who assaulted me, and any resemblance to a person with this name is an unfortunate and surreal coincidence. I am sorry about all he has experienced.
How long exactly has this guy who is/was about to sue been under a cloud of suspicion because of her book and how long has she been refusing to clarify things? How long has this guy been twisting in the wind and how much longer will he continue to be affected by this?
Re: the bolded- It's been less than a week. The Breitbart story was published on the 4th, obviously took a few days for it to garner attention, Dunham column posted last night.

And yeah, I thought it was pretty clear that you were saying Dunham was "someone that delegitimizes actual rape accusations with false stories for personal gain." I still think it's pretty clear you were saying that. Regardless of what you think of her personally, saying someone falsified a rape story without evidence to support that claim is a pretty crappy thing to do.
After a month-long investigation...
Sounds like it's been at least a month. It was released first week of September so it's been 3 months.

My point was that she essentially let a man stand accused for a month and that part of it has been recanted. She or Random House are paying fees and maybe a settlement as you say so yeah she did wrong.

 
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Now this is a non-sequiter.

People do lie in their autobiographies.

In his, President Obama claimed that he had a dope dealer who led him into a back alley to initiate him into heroine. Pres. Obama, our president mind you, says that he allowed his arm to be tourniqueted up and that the dealer was on the verge of plunging a heroine filled needle into his arm when he had a sudden revelation about the nature of his existence and his future.

Now - does anyone believe this????
I believe his explanation may be a bit embellished, but I believe it's possible he was about to do heroin then changed his mind because... well doing heroin is pretty ####### dumb.
You think the current President Obama was at one point in his life standing in a back alley ready to do heroine? Ok, I don't, you don't need to get to the alley to know it's dumb. You're dumb to be in the alley in the first place. He ain't dumb.

 
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This is as simple as "Hey, my name is Barry and we clearly never met so can you clarify that I didn't rape you and that we've never met?" "Yes, hey everybody apparently there actually is a guy named Barry that fits my description I just want you all to know I never met that guy and that's not who I'm talking about."

This fixation on apologies is silly to me. If it was a weird coincidence, why should she feel guilty about it? Clarify and move on.

 
This is as simple as "Hey, my name is Barry and we clearly never met so can you clarify that I didn't rape you and that we've never met?" "Yes, hey everybody apparently there actually is a guy named Barry that fits my description I just want you all to know I never met that guy and that's not who I'm talking about."

This fixation on apologies is silly to me. If it was a weird coincidence, why should she feel guilty about it? Clarify and move on.
Allegedly, Barry has been trying to get her to clarify this for a while.

 
Re: the bolded- It's been less than a week. The Breitbart story was published on the 4th, obviously took a few days for it to garner attention, Dunham column posted last night.

And yeah, I thought it was pretty clear that you were saying Dunham was "someone that delegitimizes actual rape accusations with false stories for personal gain." I still think it's pretty clear you were saying that. Regardless of what you think of her personally, saying someone falsified a rape story without evidence to support that claim is a pretty crappy thing to do.
After a month-long investigation...
Sounds like it's been at least a month. It was released first week of September so it's been 3 months.

My point was that she essentially let a man stand accused for a month and that part of it has been recanted.
Now an investigation is the same as an accusation? She "let a man stand accused for a month" even though it appears that neither she nor almost anyone else other than the reporter connected her narrative to an actual person until a couple days ago?

And even your preposterous argument that she "let a man stand accused for a month" were somehow true, which it very clearly is not, you still accused her of lying about rape with zero evidence to support that claim. That's a crappy thing to do.

ETA: looks like maybe National Review IDed the guy before the Brietbart story?. If so it's likely she knew someone was falsely connected to the story well before the general public did this week. If so, I apologize for saying otherwise. My bad.

Regardless, you still accused her of falsifying a rape claim with no evidence to support it.

 
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This is as simple as "Hey, my name is Barry and we clearly never met so can you clarify that I didn't rape you and that we've never met?" "Yes, hey everybody apparently there actually is a guy named Barry that fits my description I just want you all to know I never met that guy and that's not who I'm talking about."

This fixation on apologies is silly to me. If it was a weird coincidence, why should she feel guilty about it? Clarify and move on.
Allegedly, Barry has been trying to get her to clarify this for a while.
I have yet to see anyone claim that he asked for clarification and was denied. Link?

 
FTR, I think "I consent to have sex with you as long as you use a condom" is a valid position to take. So if someone surreptitiously removes a condom, that removes the consent. I dunno how the #### you could take the condom off without her knowing, but that's another discussion I guess.
I think that is a pretty interesting discussion to have. I'm as pro-women and anti-harrassment, anti-sexual abuse, pro-consent guy there is, but I can't get my head around "I only consented to sex with you if you use a condom, so if you sneak it off during sex, it is something that I did not consent to and therefore rape."

The closest analogy I can come to is a guy who lies about having a vasectimy. She only "consents" to sex bc she thought he couldn't get her pregnant. Is that rape if it turns out he lied?

What about lieing about not having an STD. If she shows up with the Clap a week later, was she raped?

It gets rediculous because you used the same standard for men, right? "She told me she was on the pill. I only consented to sex with the understanding she was on the pill. Therefore she raped me."

 
Re: the bolded- It's been less than a week. The Breitbart story was published on the 4th, obviously took a few days for it to garner attention, Dunham column posted last night.

And yeah, I thought it was pretty clear that you were saying Dunham was "someone that delegitimizes actual rape accusations with false stories for personal gain." I still think it's pretty clear you were saying that. Regardless of what you think of her personally, saying someone falsified a rape story without evidence to support that claim is a pretty crappy thing to do.
After a month-long investigation...
Sounds like it's been at least a month. It was released first week of September so it's been 3 months.

My point was that she essentially let a man stand accused for a month and that part of it has been recanted.
Now an investigation is the same as an accusation? She "let a man stand accused for a month" even though it appears that neither she nor almost anyone else other than the reporter connected her narrative to an actual person until a couple days ago?

And even your preposterous argument that she "let a man stand accused for a month" were somehow true, which it very clearly is not, you still accused her of lying about rape with zero evidence to support that claim. That's a crappy thing to do.

ETA: looks like maybe National Review IDed the guy before the Brietbart story?. If so it's likely she knew someone was falsely connected to the story well before the general public did this week. If so, I apologize for saying otherwise. My bad.

Regardless, you still accused her of falsifying a rape claim with no evidence to support it.
Tobias, it was poorly stated and unclear on that point, if so then my bad.

 
I don't doubt Dunham's story in terms of what actually happened. By her own admission, some of the descriptions of the person in question were false and put in there on purpose. That could be the stash, it could be the person's political party and/or their occupation. Now, I think it is a dangerous practice to write an

autobiography where you take creative license to some parts of the story regardless of any disclaimer in the foreword of the book. I doubt she is the first and only to do so. It seems like Random House editors/publishers should have reviewed this particular section and said that he descriptions describe a very small pool of potential people that could have done this giving the size and political leanings of her college.

 
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Speaking out was never about exposing the man who assaulted me.
Uh, why not? He should go to jail, he may rape others as well so she is putting others at risk.
That's a jackass position for you to take. Victims of crime don't have any obligation to do anything.
Wow, really, you don't think someone has any duty to others or society to out this guy?
Stop snitchin'

 
Speaking out was never about exposing the man who assaulted me.
Uh, why not? He should go to jail, he may rape others as well so she is putting others at risk.
That's a jackass position for you to take. Victims of crime don't have any obligation to do anything.
Wow, really, you don't think someone has any duty to others or society to out this guy?
Stop snitchin'
Exactly.

 
Speaking out was never about exposing the man who assaulted me.
Uh, why not? He should go to jail, he may rape others as well so she is putting others at risk.
That's a jackass position for you to take. Victims of crime don't have any obligation to do anything.
Wow, really, you don't think someone has any duty to others or society to out this guy?
There are a whole lot of women, probably millions, who have been sexually assaulted in some way and who have never gone to the police for a variety of reasons. Hurt, shame, fear, confusion. Just to name a few. I personally would not feel comfortable with a blanket statement that victims of crime (in general) or sexual assault in particular have some sort of "duty" to do anything other than recover. If I wouldn't make a general statement, than I likely wouldn't make it just because I find one particular victim (or alleged victim, if you'd prefer) less than compelling.

 
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Speaking out was never about exposing the man who assaulted me.
Uh, why not? He should go to jail, he may rape others as well so she is putting others at risk.
That's a jackass position for you to take. Victims of crime don't have any obligation to do anything.
Wow, really, you don't think someone has any duty to others or society to out this guy?
Sweet J is right. Putting another burden on people who have already been victimized by violent crime (rape or anything else) is stupid and a form of victim-blaming.

Obviously all things being equal we would all prefer if they reported it. But I'm not gonna value that over giving victims the right to deal with their trauma in whatever manner they think is best for them, not even close.

 
Speaking out was never about exposing the man who assaulted me.
Uh, why not? He should go to jail, he may rape others as well so she is putting others at risk.
That's a jackass position for you to take. Victims of crime don't have any obligation to do anything.
Wow, really, you don't think someone has any duty to others or society to out this guy?
Sweet J is right. Putting another burden on people who have already been victimized by violent crime (rape or anything else) is stupid and a form of victim-blaming.

Obviously all things being equal we would all prefer if they reported it. But I'm not gonna value that over giving victims the right to deal with their trauma in whatever manner they think is best for them, not even close.
Good lord, where do you people get this stuff? The man is a rapist, he could rape someone else, he may have already raped someone else. You're out of your mind. There is no blame on the victim here, but she has a duty to report the crime and see this man punished. These animals expect their victims to be quiet and live in fear, this is totally the wrong message to send out if this is what she is doing.

 
Speaking out was never about exposing the man who assaulted me.
Uh, why not? He should go to jail, he may rape others as well so she is putting others at risk.
That's a jackass position for you to take. Victims of crime don't have any obligation to do anything.
Wow, really, you don't think someone has any duty to others or society to out this guy?
There are a whole lot of women, probably millions, who have been sexually assaulted in some way and who have never gone to the police for a variety of reasons. Hurt, shame, fear, confusion. Just to name a few. I personally would not feel comfortable with a blanket statement that victims of crime (in general) or sexual assault in particular have some sort of "duty" to do anything other than recover. If I wouldn't make a general statement, than I likely wouldn't make it just because I find one particular victim (or alleged victim, if you'd prefer) less than compelling.
I think it's fair to say that victims perhaps have a moral obligation to out a criminal, but not a legal obligation. By not speaking out, you're letting other people experience all the hurt, shame, fear, confusion you did. Lots of crimes result in those same feelings, but we generally don't have any problem outing those perps. Why are we encouraging our women to just keep their mouths shut after they've been raped?

 
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Speaking out was never about exposing the man who assaulted me.
Uh, why not? He should go to jail, he may rape others as well so she is putting others at risk.
That's a jackass position for you to take. Victims of crime don't have any obligation to do anything.
Wow, really, you don't think someone has any duty to others or society to out this guy?
There are a whole lot of women, probably millions, who have been sexually assaulted in some way and who have never gone to the police for a variety of reasons. Hurt, shame, fear, confusion. Just to name a few. I personally would not feel comfortable with a blanket statement that victims of crime (in general) or sexual assault in particular have some sort of "duty" to do anything other than recover. If I wouldn't make a general statement, than I likely wouldn't make it just because I find one particular victim (or alleged victim, if you'd prefer) less than compelling.
Hey I agree, I know why they don't, I have empathy for them, totally, but Dunham is writing a book as a celebrity, "stay silent and don't tell the police" is one lousy message to convey here.

 
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Listen to this:

Reporters have attempted to uncover the identity of my attacker despite my sincerest attempts to protect this information.
So she is protecting the identity of the rapist from reporters!

Yeah, that's awesome!

 
Listen to this:

Reporters have attempted to uncover the identity of my attacker despite my sincerest attempts to protect this information.
So she is protecting the identity of the rapist from reporters!

Yeah, that's awesome!
Your lack of sympathy for sexual assault victims here is pretty horrible. Dunham's status as a celebrity doesn't change her right to deal with what she went through however she chooses- by going public without naming names, by going to the police, by staying silent, by speaking only to a shrink about it, by speaking to friends about it, whatever.

And yes, taking victims to task because they choose to deal with their trauma in a way that you don't think best serves the public is awful. All you're doing is encouraging them to stay completely silent so they don't end up being judged for their choices.

 
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Listen to this:

Reporters have attempted to uncover the identity of my attacker despite my sincerest attempts to protect this information.
So she is protecting the identity of the rapist from reporters!

Yeah, that's awesome!
Your lack of sympathy for sexual assault victims here is pretty horrible.
Wow. I have total, complete, absolute respect and feeling for victims. However, she states she is taking active steps to protect a rapist 8 years after her trauma. Eight years and she is protecting a rapist. From reporters.

Protecting a rapist. She needs to say who it is, call the cops, or at a minimum let reporters do their jobs, that is the right thing to do here.

 
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Listen to this:

Reporters have attempted to uncover the identity of my attacker despite my sincerest attempts to protect this information.
So she is protecting the identity of the rapist from reporters!

Yeah, that's awesome!
Your lack of sympathy for sexual assault victims here is pretty horrible. Dunham's status as a celebrity doesn't change her right to deal with what she went through however she chooses- by going public without naming names, by going to the police, by staying silent, by speaking only to a shrink about it, by speaking to friends about it, whatever.

And yes, taking victims to task because they choose to deal with their trauma in a way that you don't think best serves the public is awful. All you're doing is encouraging them to stay completely silent so they don't end up being judged for their choices.
What? Dunham is the one being silent here.

Survivors have the right to tell their stories, to take back control after the ultimate loss of control.
I agree, but she hasn't told the whole story.

I feel for a woman who has been raped, I realize things with the cops may not go well, that she could be turned into the accused, and all that. I don't blame her for not reporting it then. But now 8 years later, she has written a book, and Dunham is a star with a lot of credibility. This criminal is out there and she says she is actually actively protecting his identity from reporters.

She is not just staying silent, she's actually helping the guy.

 
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Listen to this:

Reporters have attempted to uncover the identity of my attacker despite my sincerest attempts to protect this information.
So she is protecting the identity of the rapist from reporters!

Yeah, that's awesome!
Your lack of sympathy for sexual assault victims here is pretty horrible.
Wow. I have total, complete, absolute respect and feeling for victims. However, she states she is taking active steps to protect a rapist 8 years after her trauma. Eight years and she is protecting a rapist.

Protecting a rapist. She needs to say who it is, call the cops, that is the right thing to do here.
Criticizing a victim's chosen means of of dealing with her assault doesn't strike me as total, complete, absolute respect for a victim. It strikes me as the opposite.

She attempts to explain at length why she chose not to ID the guy and/or go to the cops. Whether you agree with her decision and her explanation or not, that's her choice to make, not yours.

 
Listen to this:

Reporters have attempted to uncover the identity of my attacker despite my sincerest attempts to protect this information.
So she is protecting the identity of the rapist from reporters!

Yeah, that's awesome!
Your lack of sympathy for sexual assault victims here is pretty horrible.
Wow. I have total, complete, absolute respect and feeling for victims. However, she states she is taking active steps to protect a rapist 8 years after her trauma. Eight years and she is protecting a rapist. From reporters.

Protecting a rapist. She needs to say who it is, call the cops, or at a minimum let reporters do their jobs, that is the right thing to do here.
What she described is in the gray area of sexual assault and involved the guy refusing to wear a rubber. Come on. She isnt protecting a violent stranger rapist.

 
Listen to this:

Reporters have attempted to uncover the identity of my attacker despite my sincerest attempts to protect this information.
So she is protecting the identity of the rapist from reporters!

Yeah, that's awesome!
Your lack of sympathy for sexual assault victims here is pretty horrible.
Wow. I have total, complete, absolute respect and feeling for victims. However, she states she is taking active steps to protect a rapist 8 years after her trauma. Eight years and she is protecting a rapist.

Protecting a rapist. She needs to say who it is, call the cops, that is the right thing to do here.
Criticizing a victim's chosen means of of dealing with her assault doesn't strike me as total, complete, absolute respect for a victim. It strikes me as the opposite.

She attempts to explain at length why she chose not to ID the guy and/or go to the cops. Whether you agree with her decision and her explanation or not, that's her choice to make, not yours.
That I agree with, it's definitely not my choice or anyone else's.

 
Listen to this:

Reporters have attempted to uncover the identity of my attacker despite my sincerest attempts to protect this information.
So she is protecting the identity of the rapist from reporters!

Yeah, that's awesome!
Your lack of sympathy for sexual assault victims here is pretty horrible.
Wow. I have total, complete, absolute respect and feeling for victims. However, she states she is taking active steps to protect a rapist 8 years after her trauma. Eight years and she is protecting a rapist. From reporters.

Protecting a rapist. She needs to say who it is, call the cops, or at a minimum let reporters do their jobs, that is the right thing to do here.
What she described is in the gray area of sexual assault and involved the guy refusing to wear a rubber. Come on. She isnt protecting a violent stranger rapist.
Ok, thanks, so she wasn't violently raped? Was what the guy did even criminal?

 
Sweet%20J said:
So here's the deal: From the bolded summary, it doesn't sound like she is saying she was raped.
In her "apology," she uses the term "sexual assault" over and over to describe her encounter with "Barry," and she also keeps referring to herself as a "survivor." Any ambiguity that she was trying to project in the book seems to be completely lacking from her latest statement.
fair enough. I haven't read the piece myself. But from the "clarification," she definitately uses the term "sexual assault."

I guess I'm where Tobias is: The only thing "proven" here is that she used a name (Barry) that happens to be the name of a real person (or, alternatively, if you are so inclined on believing, she intentionally smeared the name of a real person by using his name as a pseudonym for her acual assaulter). I'm not sure anyone "proved" that she wasn't assaulted.
That's correct. What has been disproven is the statement "I was raped by Barry, the well-known Campus Republican." That allegation is now known to be false
How is that aspect of the allegation known to be false? Since "Barry" is a pseudonym, isn't it still possible that she was raped by a different well-known campus Republican?
 
FTR, I think "I consent to have sex with you as long as you use a condom" is a valid position to take. So if someone surreptitiously removes a condom, that removes the consent. I dunno how the #### you could take the condom off without her knowing, but that's another discussion I guess.
I think that is a pretty interesting discussion to have. I'm as pro-women and anti-harrassment, anti-sexual abuse, pro-consent guy there is, but I can't get my head around "I only consented to sex with you if you use a condom, so if you sneak it off during sex, it is something that I did not consent to and therefore rape."

The closest analogy I can come to is a guy who lies about having a vasectimy. She only "consents" to sex bc she thought he couldn't get her pregnant. Is that rape if it turns out he lied?

What about lieing about not having an STD. If she shows up with the Clap a week later, was she raped?

It gets rediculous because you used the same standard for men, right? "She told me she was on the pill. I only consented to sex with the understanding she was on the pill. Therefore she raped me."
These are all valid points. Seems like it's hard to get these gray areas correct.

 
FTR, I think "I consent to have sex with you as long as you use a condom" is a valid position to take. So if someone surreptitiously removes a condom, that removes the consent. I dunno how the #### you could take the condom off without her knowing, but that's another discussion I guess.
I think that is a pretty interesting discussion to have. I'm as pro-women and anti-harrassment, anti-sexual abuse, pro-consent guy there is, but I can't get my head around "I only consented to sex with you if you use a condom, so if you sneak it off during sex, it is something that I did not consent to and therefore rape."

The closest analogy I can come to is a guy who lies about having a vasectimy. She only "consents" to sex bc she thought he couldn't get her pregnant. Is that rape if it turns out he lied?

What about lieing about not having an STD. If she shows up with the Clap a week later, was she raped?

It gets rediculous because you used the same standard for men, right? "She told me she was on the pill. I only consented to sex with the understanding she was on the pill. Therefore she raped me."
Having an STD and not informing your partner would be an assault, probably aggravated assault, perhaps with intent to cause grievous bodily harm.

the vasectomy or pill analogies seem different than the condom as presumably a reasonable person would know if he slipped off the condom but not about the surgery or pill. Of course the whole logic of "I only consented because he had a vasectomy and therefore couldn't get me pregnant" is flawed from the start. But I guess we're not looking for intelligent consent.

 
Sweet%20J said:
So here's the deal: From the bolded summary, it doesn't sound like she is saying she was raped.
In her "apology," she uses the term "sexual assault" over and over to describe her encounter with "Barry," and she also keeps referring to herself as a "survivor." Any ambiguity that she was trying to project in the book seems to be completely lacking from her latest statement.
fair enough. I haven't read the piece myself. But from the "clarification," she definitately uses the term "sexual assault."

I guess I'm where Tobias is: The only thing "proven" here is that she used a name (Barry) that happens to be the name of a real person (or, alternatively, if you are so inclined on believing, she intentionally smeared the name of a real person by using his name as a pseudonym for her acual assaulter). I'm not sure anyone "proved" that she wasn't assaulted.
That's correct. What has been disproven is the statement "I was raped by Barry, the well-known Campus Republican." That allegation is now known to be false
How is that aspect of the allegation known to be false? Since "Barry" is a pseudonym, isn't it still possible that she was raped by a different well-known campus Republican?
The "the well-known" seems pretty specific, why would she specify "the well-known" guy named ____ the "campus Republican." That's pretty pointed. How many other "well know campus Republican"(s), whom she would have known, were there?

 
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FTR, I think "I consent to have sex with you as long as you use a condom" is a valid position to take. So if someone surreptitiously removes a condom, that removes the consent. I dunno how the #### you could take the condom off without her knowing, but that's another discussion I guess.
I think that is a pretty interesting discussion to have. I'm as pro-women and anti-harrassment, anti-sexual abuse, pro-consent guy there is, but I can't get my head around "I only consented to sex with you if you use a condom, so if you sneak it off during sex, it is something that I did not consent to and therefore rape."

The closest analogy I can come to is a guy who lies about having a vasectimy. She only "consents" to sex bc she thought he couldn't get her pregnant. Is that rape if it turns out he lied?

What about lieing about not having an STD. If she shows up with the Clap a week later, was she raped?

It gets rediculous because you used the same standard for men, right? "She told me she was on the pill. I only consented to sex with the understanding she was on the pill. Therefore she raped me."
This is what Dunham is claiming? Not that she was violently raped?

 
FTR, I think "I consent to have sex with you as long as you use a condom" is a valid position to take. So if someone surreptitiously removes a condom, that removes the consent. I dunno how the #### you could take the condom off without her knowing, but that's another discussion I guess.
I think that is a pretty interesting discussion to have. I'm as pro-women and anti-harrassment, anti-sexual abuse, pro-consent guy there is, but I can't get my head around "I only consented to sex with you if you use a condom, so if you sneak it off during sex, it is something that I did not consent to and therefore rape."

The closest analogy I can come to is a guy who lies about having a vasectimy. She only "consents" to sex bc she thought he couldn't get her pregnant. Is that rape if it turns out he lied?

What about lieing about not having an STD. If she shows up with the Clap a week later, was she raped?

It gets rediculous because you used the same standard for men, right? "She told me she was on the pill. I only consented to sex with the understanding she was on the pill. Therefore she raped me."
This is what Dunham is claiming? Not that she was violently raped?
Right. Which is why at first in her book she doesnt call it rape but later decides that it amounted to rape to her because it contained non-consensual elements.

 
FTR, I think "I consent to have sex with you as long as you use a condom" is a valid position to take. So if someone surreptitiously removes a condom, that removes the consent. I dunno how the #### you could take the condom off without her knowing, but that's another discussion I guess.
I think that is a pretty interesting discussion to have. I'm as pro-women and anti-harrassment, anti-sexual abuse, pro-consent guy there is, but I can't get my head around "I only consented to sex with you if you use a condom, so if you sneak it off during sex, it is something that I did not consent to and therefore rape."

The closest analogy I can come to is a guy who lies about having a vasectimy. She only "consents" to sex bc she thought he couldn't get her pregnant. Is that rape if it turns out he lied?

What about lieing about not having an STD. If she shows up with the Clap a week later, was she raped?

It gets rediculous because you used the same standard for men, right? "She told me she was on the pill. I only consented to sex with the understanding she was on the pill. Therefore she raped me."
This is what Dunham is claiming? Not that she was violently raped?
Right. Which is why at first in her book she doesnt call it rape but later decides that it amounted to rape to her because it contained non-consensual elements.
Todd, thanks. (No, I guess she wouldn't go tell the cops, then or now, and I guess she doesn't need to be outing the guy either).

 
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FTR, I think "I consent to have sex with you as long as you use a condom" is a valid position to take. So if someone surreptitiously removes a condom, that removes the consent. I dunno how the #### you could take the condom off without her knowing, but that's another discussion I guess.
I think that is a pretty interesting discussion to have. I'm as pro-women and anti-harrassment, anti-sexual abuse, pro-consent guy there is, but I can't get my head around "I only consented to sex with you if you use a condom, so if you sneak it off during sex, it is something that I did not consent to and therefore rape."

The closest analogy I can come to is a guy who lies about having a vasectimy. She only "consents" to sex bc she thought he couldn't get her pregnant. Is that rape if it turns out he lied?

What about lieing about not having an STD. If she shows up with the Clap a week later, was she raped?

It gets rediculous because you used the same standard for men, right? "She told me she was on the pill. I only consented to sex with the understanding she was on the pill. Therefore she raped me."
This is what Dunham is claiming? Not that she was violently raped?
Right. Which is why at first in her book she doesnt call it rape but later decides that it amounted to rape to her because it contained non-consensual elements.
Todd, thanks. (No, I guess she wouldn't go tell the cops, then or now).
One can hopefully understand why she isnt interested now in having someone potentially prosecuted and vilified over a gray area even she wasnt sure about.

 

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