Flathead Beacon Police Blotter... (1 Viewer)

[Fat Nick]

I want to work for the po po in this town...

Flathead Beacon Police Blotter (pages and pages and pages of hilarity)

[SIZE=11.5pt]12:41 a.m.[/SIZE] A Hungry Horse woman reported suspicious activity at a local bar. She stated that the music had stopped, the lights were off, the curtains drawn, and there were no cars in the parking lot. A deputy found that the bar had shut down for the night.

8:19 p.m. A bar patron on Highway 35 in Kalispell reported that another man pulled a knife on him when he accidentally cut him in line. He said that it could have been plastic cutlery, but he couldn’t be sure.

9:11 p.m. An Evergreen resident claimed that someone called and made fun of him for the underwear he had recently put on layaway. He has no idea who the man was or how he knew what about his underwear.

11:26 a.m. A dog, who normally wears a coat, was seen sitting in its front yard without proper winter attire.

6:41 p.m. A Kalispell woman found her highly intoxicated and incoherent dad cowering in his home, saying "don't hit me." It was later discovered that he had not been assaulted as she originally thought, but had been watching excessive amounts of Ultimate Fighting Championships on TV and was acting out a scene. He was taken to the hospital.

 

[-fish-]

6 p.m. A Harmony Court resident reported that forceful vacuum salespeople pushed their way into his house and conducted a free carpet cleaning.

 

[fatness]

The Arcata Eye police blotter is full of good stuff also.

Thursday, June 20

8:03 p.m. A man claimed that his so-called “friends” were threatening to kill him if he didn’t steal a bottle of Jack Daniels from a Valley West home of honest goodness.

10:02 p.m. A guy in a hoodie and Grateful Dead t-shirt dishonored Jerry’s memory with verbal aggression at a downtown restaurant.

• Friday, June 21

7:57 a.m. A man in a gray shirt and jeans enjoyed a magazine as he took a dump in a 10th Street parking lot.

Saturday, June 22 1:43 a.m. A male-female fight was reported on Samoa Boulevard at “the apartments next to the hippie store.”

9:09 p.m. After a bout of furniture throwing in an Alliance Road apartment, a man and woman retired to separate rooms.

11:33 p.m. A busy man outside a Plaza bar balanced out his personal hydrology by peeing in the street while holding a beer. He somehow found time between moisture management mandates to bang on passing vehicles with a bat.

• Sunday, June 23 12:11 a.m. “Call me a ##### again,” requested a man who is friends with the reporting party’s ex-boyfriend. He then slashed a tire on her car, and left.

2:07 p.m. A man watered a wall at City Hall, then made a phone call at the pay phone with his unwashed hands.

 

[fatness]

I want to work for the po po in this town...

Flathead Beacon Police Blotter (pages and pages and pages of hilarity)

1:11 p.m. Dogs in Coram were seen harassing neighborhood chickens. They did not kill the chickens, only carried them around the neighborhood.

6:16 p.m. A Kalispell resident complained that a loose dog habitually "poos" on his property. He has video footage of one such event.

 

[mquinnjr]

Whose alias has the keys to http://www.flatheadbeacon.com ?

 

[Fat Nick]

Whose alias has the keys to http://www.flatheadbeacon.com ?

Can you elaborate?

 

[Leroy Hoard]

9:11 p.m. An Evergreen resident claimed that someone called and made fun of him for the underwear he had recently put on layaway. He has no idea who the man was or how he knew what about his underwear.

lol

 

[Fat Nick]

The Arcata Eye police blotter is full of good stuff also.

2:45 PM: Those apartments on K street reek reek reek of pot

9:19 PM: A man stood outside a Samoa Boulevard business with his pants down, opening and closing his car door. He told police he was waiting for a ride.

 

[mquinnjr]

Whose alias has the keys to http://www.flatheadbeacon.com ?

Can you elaborate?

I just meant, what's being reported there is so ridiculous, it's hard to not think it's some sort of joke. But, I guess it's a thing after all.

 

[fatness]

1:32 p.m. Three bales of hay have suspiciously gone missing from a field on Highway 2 West.3:30 p.m. A resident on Ninth Avenue West reported that the neighbor’s dog was barking. She claimed that it was unusual that the dog would bark and requested that an animal warden check on the animal. The animal warden checked on the dog and found that nothing interesting had occurred.

4:44 p.m. A boy who missed the bus walked home.

8:26 p.m. A Kalispell man reported that his highly intoxicated wife had failed to complete her duties for the day and suspected that, at the time of the call, she was out driving his truck.

Flathead is an action-packed place.

 

[Fat Nick]

I just meant, what's being reported there is so ridiculous, it's hard to not think it's some sort of joke. But, I guess it's a thing after all.

Flathead is an action-packed place.

It's out near White Fish Ski Resort in Montana (also where Bachelor Sean took one of his dates in the last season of the Bachelor...if you're into that sort of thing ) If you've ever been, you'll quickly notice that there's not much going on out that way, so I could totally see these calls being real. I don't think many highly educated folks choose to live out that way. Beautiful place though.

They seem to have a recurring problem with drinking, random folks driving too fast, and stray dogs.

11:47 a.m. Someone in Somers apparently saw a stray dog that looked like "a nose riding around on four legs." The caller also went on to say that the dog didn't look very intelligent.

11:18 a.m. A man on Haywire Gulch reported that he was missing his methadone, some pot and around $175 in cash. He believes the suspect came in through the doggie door.

7:25 p.m. A woman on White Birch Lane suspects that her neighbors are making her dog inhale marijuana. She described her dog as paranoid with watery eyes.

 

[fatness]

Forest Grove police log

[SIZE=1em]A caller asked an officer to contact a neighbor about an issue on her behalf, as she (the caller) was susceptible to cannibalism.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=1em]Police investigated after unknown suspect(s) tore the head off of a mannequin that was standing on a porch along Maple Street.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=1em]A concerned citizen called police after observing what appeared to be an adult man hugging a 10-year-old boy. The boy actually turned out to be a short female adult.[/SIZE]

 

[SacramentoBob]

9:11 p.m. An Evergreen resident claimed that someone called and made fun of him for the underwear he had recently put on layaway. He has no idea who the man was or how he knew what about his underwear.

 

[fatness]

9:24 a.m. A Columbia Falls woman reported that her irate ex-boyfriend hauled her bed outside and buried it in the snow.

http://www.flatheadbeacon.com/policeblotter

 

[Fat Nick]

9:24 a.m. A Columbia Falls woman reported that her irate ex-boyfriend hauled her bed outside and buried it in the snow.

http://www.flatheadbeacon.com/policeblotter

That's a lot of effort...I didn't find any new ones when I was out in Utah over the holidays. Must be more popular in the extreme North and West boonies...or maybe they just get better calls out there.

 

[Abraham]

12:16 p.m. A loose pygmy goat wandered perilously close to the highway. It was led back home and reunited with its owner.

 

[dutch]

A concerned citizen called police after observing what appeared to be an adult man hugging a 10-year-old boy. The boy actually turned out to be a short female adult.

 

[SacramentoBob]

1:41 p.m. A man on Second Avenue East reported that a bearded man wearing a red sweatshirt broke into his house and stole his fishing tackle. The resident said that he chased the intruder off with his gun.

The Anti-Santa.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

[SIZE=1em]A concerned citizen called police after observing what appeared to be an adult man hugging a 10-year-old boy. The boy actually turned out to be a short female adult.[/SIZE]

lol

 

[-fish-]

11:09 p.m. An employee of an Evergreen gas station reported that a suspicious couple in a Blazer drove around the car wash for an hour, but never got out of the vehicle.

 

[Fat Nick]

8:09 a.m. A Bigfork man called 911 to report that at 6:30 that morning he watched a person run across the street and enter a housing community. He could not confirm the gender of the runner or that anything suspicious or criminal had occurred.

9:07 a.m. Kalispell resident complained that he can hear his neighbor making weird motorcycle noises his basement. He stated that the neighbor refuses to quiet down and that these noises have resulted in some “health issues.”

3:26 p.m. Someone called in to report that a 10-year-old was driving a car-load of unrestrained kids and one baby, who was standing on the back seat, through Hungry Horse.

6:18 a.m. A Hungry Horse woman reported that her landlord woke her to explain that he would be holding her dog hostage until she paid rent. At the time of the call she was unsure of her own location or the landlord’s location.

 

[fatness]

2:56 p.m. A man on Helena Flats Road reported that he pepper sprayed a dog that was dressed in a T-shirt.

9:15 p.m. A man was arrested after somehow managing to punch a hole in the ceiling of a local bar.

5:45 p.m. A young child was overheard talking about his dreams to become a dog during an accidental call to 911.

 

[Fat Nick]

2:56 p.m. A man on Helena Flats Road reported that he pepper sprayed a dog that was dressed in a T-shirt.

9:15 p.m. A man was arrested after somehow managing to punch a hole in the ceiling of a local bar.

5:45 p.m. A young child was overheard talking about his dreams to become a dog during an accidental call to 911.

I've said it once, I'll say it again...abnormally high dog comments in Flathead.

 

[fatness]

Flathead Dogs would be a good name for a band.

 

[fatness]

12:29 p.m. A Whitefish woman has yet to receive the cat she ordered.

11:17 a.m. An employee of an Evergreen business reported that someone called and said “Kaboom!” then hung up.

 

[Fat Nick]

11:17 a.m. An employee of an Evergreen business reported that someone called and said “Kaboom!” then hung up.

Had to be the ghost of Billy Mays...

 

[Leroy Hoard]

5:45 p.m. A young child was overheard talking about his dreams to become a dog during an accidental call to 911.

This might be the best one yet.

 

[fatness]

5:45 p.m. A young child was overheard talking about his dreams to become a dog during an accidental call to 911.

This might be the best one yet.

I'd love to be a dog for one day and night. Especially at night to see what dogs dream, when they yip and woof and their paws get moving. I'd love to have dog dreams.

 

[Plorfu]

8:04 p.m. A concerned citizen on Riverside Road waved down an officer to show him the injured owl he found. The owl was immediately transported to the "bird lady" for rehabilitation.

 

[fatness]

4:44 p.m. A boy who missed the bus walked home.

7:24 a.m. A resident on Liberty Street woke to a man chanting outside on the corner. Apparently the man was waiting for a bus that would never come and was not chanting, but singing.

I've been following these backward in time and I'm back to November 28.

 

[T Bell]

Forest Grove police log

[SIZE=1em]A caller asked an officer to contact a neighbor about an issue on her behalf, as she (the caller) was susceptible to cannibalism.[/SIZE]

"You see, I'm too savory to go outside..."

 

[grateful zed]

It's out near White Fish Ski Resort in Montana (a

im going skiing there this weekend. ill try to makes some headlines.

 

[fatness]

It's out near White Fish Ski Resort in Montana (a

im going skiing there this weekend. ill try to makes some headlines.

Something involving dogs should do it.

 

[grateful zed]

It's out near White Fish Ski Resort in Montana (a

im going skiing there this weekend. ill try to makes some headlines.

Something involving dogs should do it.

It's out near White Fish Ski Resort in Montana (a

im going skiing there this weekend. ill try to makes some headlines.

Something involving dogs should do it.

5:15 pm. A group of apre skiers were reported drinking and smoking grass in the whitefish ski area parking lot. Resort employees with makeshift musical instraments and two bus loads of visiting Canadians with kegs of molson joined shortly afterwards. A major party broke out and Law enforcement responded, but chose not to partake.

 

[Fat Nick]

It's out near White Fish Ski Resort in Montana (a

im going skiing there this weekend. ill try to makes some headlines.

Something involving dogs should do it.

5:15 pm. A group of apre skiers were reported drinking and smoking grass in the whitefish ski area parking lot. Resort employees with makeshift musical instraments and two bus loads of visiting Canadians with kegs of molson joined shortly afterwards. A major party broke out and Law enforcement responded, but chose not to partake.

Nice...To fatness's comment, it would've been more realistic if there were dogs.

Did you like Whitefish? We stayed on the mountain (off the Home Again run). It was a little isolated, but a nice mountain overall in my opinion.

 

[grateful zed]

Nice...To fatness's comment, it would've been more realistic if there were dogs.
Did you like Whitefish? We stayed on the mountain (off the Home Again run). It was a little isolated, but a nice mountain overall in my opinion.

whitefish is a cool little town with an awesome bar, the great northern. kalispel and the surrounding area are scary conservitave, there are some serious wackos living there.

the ski hill is big and very familly friendly with tons of services to keep tourists busy. there is lots of snow but hard to enjoy because of incessent fog and tree wells. the mountain isnt actually very steep anywhere, so accoplished skiiers get bored easilly.

 

[JaxBill]

Forest Grove police log

[SIZE=1em]A caller asked an officer to contact a neighbor about an issue on her behalf, as she (the caller) was susceptible to cannibalism.[/SIZE]

"You see, I'm too savory to go outside..."

The Jan 7th Forest Grove incidents have to be related, no?

JAN. 7

• [SIZE=1em]A man called to report his adult child missing because he had not heard from his child in days.[/SIZE]
• [SIZE=1em]Police responded to a man banging on a door on Hawthorne Street, a suspicious man leaning up against a dumpster on 19th Place, a passed out man in the bathroom at Safeway, and an unwanted man back on Hawthorne Street. It was the same man on each call.[/SIZE]
• [SIZE=1em]An officer found a tipped over port-a-potty at Neil Armstrong Middle School and up-righted it.[/SIZE]

 

[-fish-]

3:22 p.m. A woman on White Rabbit Lane returned home to find that cat and silver-plated cutlery had gone missing.

So simple to solve this crime. The cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon.

 

[Fat Nick]

Nice...To fatness's comment, it would've been more realistic if there were dogs.
Did you like Whitefish? We stayed on the mountain (off the Home Again run). It was a little isolated, but a nice mountain overall in my opinion.

whitefish is a cool little town with an awesome bar, the great northern. kalispel and the surrounding area are scary conservitave, there are some serious wackos living there.

the ski hill is big and very familly friendly with tons of services to keep tourists busy. there is lots of snow but hard to enjoy because of incessent fog and tree wells. the mountain isnt actually very steep anywhere, so accoplished skiiers get bored easilly.

The Great Northern was awesome. I have a cool hoodie from there, and played a bunch of ping pong. We were there mid-day, so the place was kind of empty, but still very cool.

Didn't spend THAT much time in Kalispel, but I believe it...oddly, the wackos you linked to, Prussian Blue, have apparently gone hippie and aren't Neo-Nazi anymore. That said, I'm sure there's still plenty out there!

When we were there, it was really early in the season, so they still had quite a few runs closed. The snow was really good near the top, but not that great lower down. A few of the runs were full of moguls and a little thin (neither of which is good for a snowboarder). I've only been boarding for 6 years or so, and I didn't start till I was ~29, so I don't have the go-hard spirit. I'm fine on a nice blue cruiser most days, so I guess I didn't mind the steepness.

I'll stop there before I completely hijack my own thread.

 

[fatness]

4:15 p.m. A Troutbeck Road resident returned home to find that an intruder had gone through her cupboards and watched pornography on her computer.

 

[fatness]

1:52 p.m. A Kalispell woman wanted to talk to law enforcement about her husband and his pornography.

9:11 p.m. An Evergreen resident claimed that someone called and made fun of him for the underwear he had recently put on layaway. He has no idea who the man was or how he knew what about his underwear.

 

[fatness]

11:41 p.m. A suspicious woman on Creston Hatchery Road reported that the same vehicle consistently pulls into her driveway then back out and drives off. A deputy learned that the owner of the vehicle was the woman’s neighbor and often uses other resident’s driveways to turn around.

12:41 a.m. A Hungry Horse woman reported suspicious activity at a local bar. She stated that the music had stopped, the lights were off, the curtains drawn, and there were no cars in the parking lot. A deputy found that the bar had shut down for the night.

http://www.flatheadbeacon.com/articles/article/underwear_ridicule

 

[fatness]

11:26 a.m. A dog, who normally wears a coat, was seen sitting in its front yard without proper winter attire.

1:55 p.m. A concerned woman called from Whitefish Stage to report that the neighbor’s dog had a bucket on its head. An animal warden found the dog, minus the bucket and in good health.

 

[Fat Nick]

4:15 p.m. A Troutbeck Road resident returned home to find that an intruder had gone through her cupboards and watched pornography on her computer.

1:52 p.m. A Kalispell woman wanted to talk to law enforcement about her husband and his pornography.

These two have to be related...

 

[grateful zed]

It's out near White Fish Ski Resort in Montana (a

im going skiing there this weekend. ill try to makes some headlines.

Something involving dogs should do it.

5:15 pm. A group of apre skiers were reported drinking and smoking grass in the whitefish ski area parking lot. Resort employees with makeshift musical instraments and two bus loads of visiting Canadians with kegs of molson joined shortly afterwards. A major party broke out and Law enforcement responded, but chose not to partake.

Nice...To fatness's comment, it would've been more realistic if there were dogs.

canadians and dogs are interchangible around here.

 

[fatness]

open carry

1:11 p.m. Dogs in Coram were seen harassing neighborhood chickens. They did not kill the chickens, only carried them around the neighborhood.

 

[fatness]

6:41 p.m. A Kalispell woman found her highly intoxicated and incoherent dad cowering in his home, saying "don't hit me." It was later discovered that he had not been assaulted as she originally thought, but had been watching excessive amounts of Ultimate Fighting Championships on TV and was acting out a scene. He was taken to the hospital.

It's still real to me.