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Found out my son is being abused. Update #696 (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter seahawk 17
- Start date
Clifford
Footballguy
He meaning Seahawk or the abuser?
Worm
slimy ninja
The guy in debt $28k in attorney's fees and broke as a joke. Not sure about all these solutions that involve him laying out additional cash.
Clifford
Footballguy
Just read the full update. Sounds like a royal screw job. Can't believe the part about the son testifying against him. I'm sure it was coerced but that must have been heart-breaking. The kid had a chance to force the system to do something and didn't. Hard to believe. Was he not cross-examined?
IMO if any of what has been written about the abuse is true the stepdad needs to die. Anyone who would do that to a kid is the worst scum on this earth and deserves nothing more than a slow, painful death.
Need to hear more from Seahawk on what he thinks his options are.
IMO if any of what has been written about the abuse is true the stepdad needs to die. Anyone who would do that to a kid is the worst scum on this earth and deserves nothing more than a slow, painful death.
Need to hear more from Seahawk on what he thinks his options are.
Otis
Footballguy
Whatever you do, make sure that as you apologize you again remind him you were right.
Otis
Footballguy
If you were in New York, I'd take your case pro bono. I'm sorry that I can't help. That said, I'm betting there are pro bono organizations in your area who may be able to offer assistance if this is a matter you can't really afford. Bottom line -- if it were me, I'd do what I can to lawyer up. Hopefully you can get an attorney who believes in you and will take the situation to heart and try to make the ex and stepdad's lives a living hell, at least on the legal side.
Good luck. Awful situation.
Good luck. Awful situation.
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
I've already apologized. This is old news so lets move on and help seahawk outYou don't think he ####### knows that?Shot himself in the foot? WTF? This guy is being torn apart and you and ####### Goggins are posting this shyte?Okay. The Goggermeister could have exercised a "tad" more empathy in his post, but the sad reality is that Seahawk wound up shooting himself in the foot. Given the spiraling nature of his situation, it's a miracle that that's all that got shot, but it is the net result.You seriously have the stones to come in here with a condescending "I Told you So".... in this thread?! In THIS situation?! I hope someday the most important thing in your life is ripped from you in the most violent manner possible. Unfortunately, it's readily apparent in your posts that the only thing that matters to you is you.... what a piece of work.
####.
Dickies
Footballguy
Wow, sorry to hear this story. Makes me sick to my stomach. Keep your head up and don't give up. Even if you have to go $100k in debt fighting this, it's for your kids' safety and health. Money comes and goes, but you should always be there for your kids. I don't blame you for doing what you did, there is no way I would ship my kids off to be abused. Sadly, the authorities have been too lazy to do their jobs. I like the advice about contacting the teachers. My wife is a teacher and has reported a few cases of abuse. If they are missing a lot of school and having broken bones and bruises, I really feel most teachers would already suspect something fishy is going on, and planting a seed to confirm those suspicions can't hurt.
Best of luck. :(
Best of luck. :(
Dickies
Footballguy
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
Doesn't matter if I am right or wrong here O, the point is that it's not over and you have to fight.
Clifford
Footballguy
you said "does he have time for it?"I said "sounds like he's not doing anything"not sure why it's confusing but I'm talking about seahawk. sounded to me like he had gotten very frustated and practically given up, which is why people are telling him to keep trying to fight it.
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Card Trader
Footballguy
This is a tough read, especially the conclusion (to this point). I hope you don't give up Seahawk, and I'd gladly donate something to a legal fund if one gets setup.
Johnny Rock
Footballguy
Inexpensive action steps that directly help the situation. It will likely make you feel better too knowing that other people care and are watching out for the kids too. Any other actions should be in addition to this advice imo.If the kids have missed 24 days of school I doubt the ex has the school admin "duped." The school may not want to believe it since she works there; give them a means to tie their suspicions together.Hang in there Seahawk. We're pulling for you.
glock
"Don't grumble, give a whistle!"
'slayer666 said:Not drunk bro. No one ####s with my kids, especially if I have solid proof. If I go to prison, then I go to prison. (Personally, I would do everything possible to avoid the slammer) Also, I'm just stating what I would do, not suggesting that the OP resort to violence.'glock said:Okay, slayer- time to go sleep it off before...If this were happening to my kids, I'd deadline the muther####er. No questions asked. I'd probably take out the ##### too. Grow a set of nuts and do the right thing. IMO you're being a punk ### #####.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
How would the father being in prison help the kids? Helping the kids comes before stoking your ego.Seahawk - do not forget if your kids are being abused, there is some group and some people who will believe you and help you. Many of these groups are non profit. It is absolutely crucial you keep fighting this fight with whatever means you have. Keep coming to fbg's if for no reason other than some support from strangers. Rely on anyone who will listen.'slayer666 said:Not drunk bro. No one ####s with my kids, especially if I have solid proof. If I go to prison, then I go to prison. (Personally, I would do everything possible to avoid the slammer) Also, I'm just stating what I would do, not suggesting that the OP resort to violence.'glock said:Okay, slayer- time to go sleep it off before...If this were happening to my kids, I'd deadline the muther####er. No questions asked. I'd probably take out the ##### too. Grow a set of nuts and do the right thing. IMO you're being a punk ### #####.
I can't imagine how awful this situation is but I know I'm one of the many folks rooting for you.
HellToupee
Footballguy
Really? How far up on the totem pole did you go because someone giving you this for an answer is highly inappropriate . I'd apply as much heat on this end as I could
El Floppo
Footballguy
Yeah- that part had me a bit confused. If my kid was in trouble, damned right I'd be calling over and over until I got some answers. Is the OP supposed to have called just a few times?
General Malaise
Footballguy
Maybe it's time to publicly humiliate the step-dad, mom and the ineffectual 'systems' of Indiana, including the school system who are turning a blind eye to the abuse? Set up a Facebook page recounting your story, with all the pictures you might have of the step-dad, mom and even pics of the kids. Rope in the failures of the courts, the school, child services, etc and name names. You'd probably get enough support here to get a grass roots effort up and running. Use hashtags to spread the message and see if you can't trigger a reaction.
What's the worst that can happen? He gets sued for libel? The guy has no money. What's that phrase...'when you got nothing, you got nothing left to lose'? Nothing else has worked here; maybe it's time to get creative. If an outfit like "Million Moms" can get a JC Penny ad pulled from support gained on facebook, why couldn't this guy broadcast his message in an effort to gain support and spread the word. Maybe other men who have had similar stories can come on board and lend support and testimony.
At some point, somebody will alert the step-dad, mom and other named-names that they are being discussed on facebook. It might force the hand of somebody and while we hope it isn't against his kids, maybe somebody with the right amount of power will be able to finally witness the abuse and step in for good.
What's the worst that can happen? He gets sued for libel? The guy has no money. What's that phrase...'when you got nothing, you got nothing left to lose'? Nothing else has worked here; maybe it's time to get creative. If an outfit like "Million Moms" can get a JC Penny ad pulled from support gained on facebook, why couldn't this guy broadcast his message in an effort to gain support and spread the word. Maybe other men who have had similar stories can come on board and lend support and testimony.
At some point, somebody will alert the step-dad, mom and other named-names that they are being discussed on facebook. It might force the hand of somebody and while we hope it isn't against his kids, maybe somebody with the right amount of power will be able to finally witness the abuse and step in for good.
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The Z Machine
Footballguy
I really really hate to be a d-bag here, but are we hearing the ENTIRE story? It seems so lopsided and wrong-headed, a true travesty if the facts are as seahawk has presented them, that my BS detector is going off.
Maybe I'm a jagoff for thinking and posting this. Sorry.
If his story is true, I feel horrible for seahawk and his kids. It's terrible, no if/ands/buts about it. Even though I'm unemployed, I'd donate a bit to his legal fund regardless.
Maybe I'm a jagoff for thinking and posting this. Sorry.
If his story is true, I feel horrible for seahawk and his kids. It's terrible, no if/ands/buts about it. Even though I'm unemployed, I'd donate a bit to his legal fund regardless.
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
Same here. I do know that in Texas if you call they must by law check it out and they won't tell you to that they aren't taking you seriously because of the amount of times you call. That said, I don't think every state handles this the same way since I was told the top two states that are the most aggressive/take is seriously are NY and Texas.Yeah- that part had me a bit confused. If my kid was in trouble, damned right I'd be calling over and over until I got some answers. Is the OP supposed to have called just a few times?
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Doug B
Footballguy
Kinda just thinking out loud ...
Don't these types of hidden abuse cases normally get resolved -- when they get resolved -- by the kids reporting the abuse to an unaffiliated adult (i.e. authority figure that does not know the custodial parents)? I don't know how a child could be encouraged to self-report from afar with no contact, but that almost seems like a necessity at this point.
Maybe this is where a non-profit child-abuse advocacy can really help. An oblique idea -- perhaps the agency calls your child's school (or school district) and asks about doing "End Child Abuse" presentations in the school (or in all the district's schools). Maybe upon seeing something like that (and perhaps having a then-and-there means like a drop box to report safely), something in seahawk's children will be spurred.
Don't these types of hidden abuse cases normally get resolved -- when they get resolved -- by the kids reporting the abuse to an unaffiliated adult (i.e. authority figure that does not know the custodial parents)? I don't know how a child could be encouraged to self-report from afar with no contact, but that almost seems like a necessity at this point.
Maybe this is where a non-profit child-abuse advocacy can really help. An oblique idea -- perhaps the agency calls your child's school (or school district) and asks about doing "End Child Abuse" presentations in the school (or in all the district's schools). Maybe upon seeing something like that (and perhaps having a then-and-there means like a drop box to report safely), something in seahawk's children will be spurred.
UOFI_316
Footballguy
You have like eleven billion dollars sitting in your gambling account by now don't you??
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
I thought by law in every state ANY teacher or doctor that sees signs of abuse is by law ordered to report it? Is that true or is this handled differently by state?I ask because in states that are bound by law to report it, is tough to abuse your children and get away with it.In Texas if you hold your child out I think more than 20 or so days you can be taken to court. I get slips mailed to me if I forget to give them an excuse absence when I took my kids to the doctor. This is because of funding. Again, perhaps all states are different but you live in Texas I would say your chances of keeping your kids out that long and abusing them and someone has reported on you are slim to none in getting away with it.Maybe it's time to publicly humiliate the step-dad, mom and the ineffectual 'systems' of Indiana, including the school system who are turning a blind eye to the abuse? Set up a Facebook page recounting your story, with all the pictures you might have of the step-dad, mom and even pics of the kids. Rope in the failures of the courts, the school, child services, etc and name names. You'd probably get enough support here to get a grass roots effort up and running. Use hashtags to spread the message and see if you can't trigger a reaction. What's the worst that can happen? He gets sued for libel? The guy has no money. What's that phrase...'when you got nothing, you got nothing left to lose'? Nothing else has worked here; maybe it's time to get creative. If an outfit like "Million Moms" can get a JC Penny ad pulled from support gained on facebook, why couldn't this guy broadcast his message in an effort to gain support and spread the word. Maybe other men who have had similar stories can come on board and lend support and testimony. At some point, somebody will alert the step-dad, mom and other named-names that they are being discussed on facebook. It might force the hand of somebody and while we hope it isn't against his kids, maybe somebody with the right amount of power will be able to finally witness the abuse and step in for good.
Worm
slimy ninja
I've lived through some family drama, and there are ALWAYS two sides to every story. Usually, there's still a right/wrong side, but it's not often as clear as it might appear.That said, it's either a fishing trip or I believe what seahawk has said here, and feel for him.
Doug B
Footballguy
Having no corroboration about this from seahawk and speaking very generally:Anecodtally, from a few people close to me and my family: I understand that in a custody battle, if one spouse (typically the mother) can sell to the judge that the other spouse (typically the father) "drinks frequently" or "has engaged in recreational drug use" ... it can be the single clinching factor in wresting custody away. "Going out with the guys once a month", in court, can turn into "returns home hammered and wakes the kids up." "Toked a joint at Lollapalooza '93" can turn into "has a history of drug use".
Unfortunately, judges are human, and there's a human tendency to want to simplify difficult, nuanced situations. It's hard to trace every single nuance and navigate the gray areas, and all too easy to place people into convenient boxes.
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Walton Goggins
Footballguy
The key is if they have proof. You can get up and tell the judge that your soon to be ex has group orgies in front of the kids, stays up for days on meth, leaves and doesn't come back for weeks, etc but unless you have proof it won't hold water. So a spouse can say the other spouse drinks, violent, abuse, etc. but unless there's police reports the judge doesn't even bat an eye.I speak from experience and don't wish it upon anyone.
My ex wanted to move the kids away and when our divorce started my lawyer told me get ready for abuse charges to be leveled against me, that's just what's normally done and don't take it personally. The reason why is that the people who claim the other person abuses them or the kids doesn't get punished and about the only way to move/get more custody = more $$$. If the claim is not true it's no skin off their back plus it's better than telling the truth (in my case, if my ex had said "I just want to move away with the kids and not have the father be a part of their lives, the judge would have ripped into her and her lawyer would never tell her to say that in the first place).
When she claimed I abused her and that didn't work then she said I abused the children. Long story short I have the kids half the time so that tells you how much they believed her. You have to have proof. It stinks because you have to go through a lot to prove that you are not an abusive person and when you do, the other side moved on to something else and because it only punishes the children if the courts punish the parent who lies they aren't going to do anything.
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
Check your laws regarding taped phone calls. In my state only ONE side has to know that the conversation is being recorded and it's admissible in court.If I was seahawk, I would record EVERY conversation with the kids or anyone who is connected in this case that is wherever seahawk lives that's allowed by law.
Courtjester
The Town Drunk
Seahawk awful...awful situation. I do feel really bad for you.
I know alot of you are trying to be helpful with your suggestions and I am not trying to appear to be another"Walter" in here, but I am curious to hear how the system failed? I mean we have alot of lawyers on this board and they will agree with me that a court can only rule on what it has in front of it. It can't guess or jump to conclusions.
All the court that made the ruling had in front of it was the fact Seahawk violated a custody order and refused to return his kids to their custodial parent. It took a large number of law enforcement to go into the woods and get these kids back. The kids recanted every bit of evidence of abuse and blamed Seahawk for the whole thing. You have the ex raising alcohol issues and they have proof of threatened violence against a local firefighter (who probably to everyone who knows him is an upstanding citizen and saves lives, blah...blah...blah) You get what I am saying. All Seahawk has is what he thinks and what the children originally told him, which have all been recanted or explained away.
I honestly don't know what to say to you. I thought I had read you can get supervised visits (maybe I am wrong). I would take advantage of every thing I could. You said she didn't show for the last one, but you can file a Motion for Contempt and a Motion to Enforce. Most of these forms are available on-line and self-explanatory to fill out. I am sort of like Sheriff here, if these were my kids, I would fight.
There is no gimic or magic fix here. This isn't a Lifetime movie where the kid sneaks into the Judge's chamber and changes the Judge's mind. Calling the press, starting a Facebook page, killing them (
) is not going to get you anywhere. There will be no ""ah ha" moment. You were given parameters on visitation. Show the court you can follow court orders and earn the court's trust back. Take advantage of everything provided (3 phone calls a week) and document, document, document when there is non-compliance. Once the documentation piles up, it buys you time to lawyer up and take another swing at this from a legal side. You seemed to be resigned to your fate, but fight.
I am not trying to be a jerk to you, but you can fix this. And again I am basing my thoughts not knowing the other side of the coin, which like Z-Machine brought up would be interesting to hear. GL--you have alot of people pulling for you here.
I know alot of you are trying to be helpful with your suggestions and I am not trying to appear to be another"Walter" in here, but I am curious to hear how the system failed? I mean we have alot of lawyers on this board and they will agree with me that a court can only rule on what it has in front of it. It can't guess or jump to conclusions.
All the court that made the ruling had in front of it was the fact Seahawk violated a custody order and refused to return his kids to their custodial parent. It took a large number of law enforcement to go into the woods and get these kids back. The kids recanted every bit of evidence of abuse and blamed Seahawk for the whole thing. You have the ex raising alcohol issues and they have proof of threatened violence against a local firefighter (who probably to everyone who knows him is an upstanding citizen and saves lives, blah...blah...blah) You get what I am saying. All Seahawk has is what he thinks and what the children originally told him, which have all been recanted or explained away.
I honestly don't know what to say to you. I thought I had read you can get supervised visits (maybe I am wrong). I would take advantage of every thing I could. You said she didn't show for the last one, but you can file a Motion for Contempt and a Motion to Enforce. Most of these forms are available on-line and self-explanatory to fill out. I am sort of like Sheriff here, if these were my kids, I would fight.
There is no gimic or magic fix here. This isn't a Lifetime movie where the kid sneaks into the Judge's chamber and changes the Judge's mind. Calling the press, starting a Facebook page, killing them (
) is not going to get you anywhere. There will be no ""ah ha" moment. You were given parameters on visitation. Show the court you can follow court orders and earn the court's trust back. Take advantage of everything provided (3 phone calls a week) and document, document, document when there is non-compliance. Once the documentation piles up, it buys you time to lawyer up and take another swing at this from a legal side. You seemed to be resigned to your fate, but fight.I am not trying to be a jerk to you, but you can fix this. And again I am basing my thoughts not knowing the other side of the coin, which like Z-Machine brought up would be interesting to hear. GL--you have alot of people pulling for you here.
flufhed
Footballguy
Seems this would be as good a use as any for a portion of your gambling winnings.
flufhed
Footballguy
flufhed
Footballguy
Joe Summer
Footballguy
Whether it's fair or not, this is how the system sees Seahawk.And whether it's fair or not, Seahawk has to go above and beyond to earn the court's trust back.
RhymesMcJuice
Footballguy
I'm having a hard fathoming how an abused kid with a father who wants him would testify in court against him. For it even to have got that far the kids would have had to lie to the police as well as people with social services. It just doesn't add up.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Kids lying to protect their abusive parents isn't as rare as you think. For better of for worse, the child often feels the need to protect the parent...it's all they know so they'll lie if need be. Not always, of course. But it's not uncommon.
Clifford
Footballguy
The system is preventing the kids actual father from protecting him from an abusive man with no connection to him other than being the guy who is currently screwing his mother. Either Seahawk is making everything up, or the system miserably and demonstrably failed. Take your head out of the details and remember what the system is supposed to do: protect kids from abuse.So yeah, total complete abject failure, and therefore should be gone around by any means necessary.
Sergeant Spelt
Footballguy
unless the kids testify to the abuse, how is 'the system' supposed to know?
Jayrod
Footballguy
Que?
LarryAllen'sJockstrap
Footballguy
Family Courts are some of the most corrupt rackets out there; I've had an experience that came very close to ending like Seahawks' (appellate court intervened before too much damage was done). Many FC judges see themselves as social workers/counselors that take the law more as a recommendation, not a guideline.Having seen it firsthand, it's an awful situation and my heart goes out to Seahawk. I had all the thoughts of taking my son and running away, or "taking matters into my own hands with the other party". Lucky, my wife, parents and attorneys were there to keep me from doing something I would have regretted.
I don't have any advice here, but for those of you that do, please keep in perspective that most any action is going to have some consequence, either legal or financial. You can't just go hiring lawyers and PIs and all these other things for free. Additionally, while it's a human reaction, you really can't go outside the law, because in the end, you'll be the one sitting in jail and no one will care how unfair it is.
Good luck and try your hardest to stay on track with your life as much as possible.
Tick
Footballguy
Your crazy ex-boss knows all the tricks to harrass and annoy someone without any of it getting traced back to him. Seahawk needs to learn these skillz.
Bottomfeeder Sports
Footballguy
This does seem like step 1 of any realistic plan.
seahawk 17
Footballguy
I don't know what else I can do on this board? There is two sides to every story. The other side says I am a wife abuser, hard core drinker, and child kidnapper. PM ...and I will send you my name, court, and case #. After you read it post what you want.Seahawk awful...awful situation. I do feel really bad for you.I know alot of you are trying to be helpful with your suggestions and I am not trying to appear to be another"Walter" in here, but I am curious to hear how the system failed? I mean we have alot of lawyers on this board and they will agree with me that a court can only rule on what it has in front of it. It can't guess or jump to conclusions.All the court that made the ruling had in front of it was the fact Seahawk violated a custody order and refused to return his kids to their custodial parent. It took a large number of law enforcement to go into the woods and get these kids back. The kids recanted every bit of evidence of abuse and blamed Seahawk for the whole thing. You have the ex raising alcohol issues and they have proof of threatened violence against a local firefighter (who probably to everyone who knows him is an upstanding citizen and saves lives, blah...blah...blah) You get what I am saying. All Seahawk has is what he thinks and what the children originally told him, which have all been recanted or explained away.I honestly don't know what to say to you. I thought I had read you can get supervised visits (maybe I am wrong). I would take advantage of every thing I could. You said she didn't show for the last one, but you can file a Motion for Contempt and a Motion to Enforce. Most of these forms are available on-line and self-explanatory to fill out. I am sort of like Sheriff here, if these were my kids, I would fight.There is no gimic or magic fix here. This isn't a Lifetime movie where the kid sneaks into the Judge's chamber and changes the Judge's mind. Calling the press, starting a Facebook page, killing them (
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seahawk 17
Footballguy
School officials protect their own.
Mr.-------- ,
I have been advised personally and professionally not to get involved in your situation. I have enjoyed working with your children (I had your daughter last year) as they are both pleasant and kind and hope for the best for them. Thank you for your understanding. Respectfully, __________
This Sandusky stuff does not surprise me.
Mr.-------- ,
I have been advised personally and professionally not to get involved in your situation. I have enjoyed working with your children (I had your daughter last year) as they are both pleasant and kind and hope for the best for them. Thank you for your understanding. Respectfully, __________
This Sandusky stuff does not surprise me.
