Found out my son is being abused. Update #696 (1 Viewer)

[Abraham]

Do the kids not have cell phones or facebook? I am trying to follow along - is the ex so restrictive that they can't find a way to communicate with you through social media or something/

 

[Abraham]

The world just does not make sense to me at times. This is one of those times. How can this possibly happen?

And yet there have been Other threads in this forum in which the power of government and Child Protection Services is complained about as overbearing and it is demanded that their power to interfere in private family matters is lessened.You can't have it both ways. If you weaken the power of the state to intercede in these situations, you run the risk of more stories like this one.

you have the worst timing of anyone on these boards. shame on you for trying to turn this thread into a political debate.

I was making an observation. It was not meant to be especially controversial and I didn't want to make this about me. Let's not do that. Obviously I made some people upset and I apologize. Seahawk's situation is terrible; let's focus on that.

Ok, thanks for the direction. The rest of us were a little lost...

 

[sbonomo]

i don't even know how to respond. Our legal system has definately failed you. Sorry GB.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Name of the Judge, please.

 

[shadyridr]

wow

 

[seahawk 17]

Do the kids not have cell phones or facebook? I am trying to follow along - is the ex so restrictive that they can't find a way to communicate with you through social media or something/

I am assuming everything is monitored, and that they are scared to death of their situation.

My son confided in me and things only got worse when I tried to help. My ex works for the school district and told him if he told anybody at school she would find out. When CPS went to interview him about the abuse, they called her first. She pulled him out of school and the interview was done at home. The kid can't get anywhere and does not trust anyone.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

Judgment: The judge sliced and diced me. He stated that he had read the previous paperwork from the judge and that I was a horrible person. He said the parenting plan I am on is the most restrictive he has ever seen, and that he was going to guess that the previous judge had good reason to put me on it.

I'm not in the legal profession, but isn't this outrageous? Or would a judge simply "agree" with another judge's ruling without knowing any of the facts for himself?

 

[Godsbrother]

Damn that is horrible. I cannot believe that you can't even get supervised visits. I don't know what to say...

 

[seahawk 17]

Name of the Judge, please.

I can give you a name as long as you don't use it for evil.

That's the last thing I need.

 

[seahawk 17]

Judgment: The judge sliced and diced me. He stated that he had read the previous paperwork from the judge and that I was a horrible person. He said the parenting plan I am on is the most restrictive he has ever seen, and that he was going to guess that the previous judge had good reason to put me on it.

I'm not in the legal profession, but isn't this outrageous? Or would a judge simply "agree" with another judge's ruling without knowing any of the facts for himself?

That was my thought...be your own judge and make up your own mind.

 

[AcerFC]

:sad:

 

[(HULK)]

Could you make a fake facebook profile (of someone your kid's age) and contact them via facebook? It would be less obvious to the mother.

 

[Plaid Boxer]

There is nothing we can do as a group? We've been very supportive of a restaurant launch among other things. Would an investigative reporter do any good? I really %&^%$!! hate this thread, makes me sick. You can be denied visitation because someone judged you to be a bad guy?

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Name of the Judge, please.

I can give you a name as long as you don't use it for evil.

That's the last thing I need.

I want to check this "gentleman's" record and find out a little about him. The language he used addressing you and his ruling, if all is as you describe, is extremely unprofessional.

 

[johnnycakes]

Name of the Judge, please.

I can give you a name as long as you don't use it for evil.

That's the last thing I need.

Word to the wise: PM any private information like that, lest you find out how small the world really is.

 

[timschochet]

Seahawk, if this is a stunning story to us (and it is) maybe it would be to the media as well. Have you thought about contacting your local newspaper or television station? Surely this is a human interest story that would attract attention. And maybe it would help turn things around.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Name of the Judge, please.

I can give you a name as long as you don't use it for evil.

That's the last thing I need.

I want to check this "gentleman's" record and find out a little about him. The language he used addressing you and his ruling, if all is as you describe, is extremely unprofessional.

Yes. PM only.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Name of the Judge, please.

I can give you a name as long as you don't use it for evil.

That's the last thing I need.

Word to the wise: PM any private information like that, lest you find out how small the world really is.

Right on, my eskimo brother!

 

[General Malaise]

FBG Documentary?

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Name of the Judge, please.

I can give you a name as long as you don't use it for evil.

That's the last thing I need.

I want to check this "gentleman's" record and find out a little about him. The language he used addressing you and his ruling, if all is as you describe, is extremely unprofessional.

Better listen to him, seahawk. He's pre-law.

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

What state is the wife in?

 

[Rayderr]

Never ceases to amaze me how biased the family court system is in favor of the mother. Best of luck s17.

 

[johnnycakes]

Never ceases to amaze me how biased the family court system is in favor of the mother. Best of luck s17.

It varies state by state, very slowly, fathers are getting more rights here in MA, but that's due to efforts of certain local PACs that have pushed for such things as alimony guidelines that no longer call for lifetime alimony, changes in the child support formulas to account for things like split-custody arrangements and a spouse's ability to earn, not just whether he/she is actually earning. Still, even with that, if your case goes to a GAL or to a judge, they're probably still thinking in terms of how things have been done here for the past 100+ years, which means the father can get screwed if he doesn't play the game just right.

With our hero here, though, for some reason, I'm not totally on board that we're really getting the straight dope. If his case is being mishandled as badly as he says, I think he would have made some ground with it. With that, I'll #### because I know how tough the whole custody battle can be and I know the father is most likely in need of a lot of support... if we're all he's got, he's in deep doo-doo.

 

[Mario Kart]

Post this story on Reddit and you'd have a fully funded legal team very quickly. I'd donate.

This could result in the swiftest action given the possible limited details. However, opening the Reddit box could also be highly damaging to all involved. Proceed with caution.

 

[Mr.Pack]

The world just does not make sense to me at times. This is one of those times. How can this possibly happen?

This makes me want to go find them and help him take care of the situation. So disgusted by this thing.

 

[Mr.Pack]

FBG Documentary?

I would think 20/20 would be all over this. I know we have some guys here who work for a network or 2.

 

[Guest]

Awe hell. Just read the updates. I can't even imagine.

Best of luck, and keep trying.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

horrible situation. seems like we are missing some part of the story though. or maybe it's just that i can't stand to think that dude is getting the shaft like this.

 

[T Bell]

Honestly, if I was in this position it would be extremely difficult to stop me from killing someone.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

Honestly, if I was in this position it would be extremely difficult to stop me from killing someone.

I'd get him when he went out hunting.

 

[Mile High]

It's been 3 years. Still don't understand why you haven't moved closer to your kids. I would have been there within weeks if my ex had tried to pull this crap

 

[El Floppo]

#### a duck.

dammit- this thing makes me furious. There has to be some kind of recourse here other than just abiding by some lazy "judge" who can't be bothered to judge for himself. ugh.

whatever I can do as a distant, but pissed FFA guy, just let me know.

 

[McGarnicle]

It's been 3 years. Still don't understand why you haven't moved closer to your kids. I would have been there within weeks if my ex had tried to pull this crap

That's an excellent point. My dad moved away when I was in the third grade and we don't speak today. I know Seahawk wasn't the one who moved away but it would make a powerful statement if he moved close.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

Name of the Judge, please.

I can give you a name as long as you don't use it for evil.

That's the last thing I need.

I want to check this "gentleman's" record and find out a little about him. The language he used addressing you and his ruling, if all is as you describe, is extremely unprofessional.

Better listen to him, seahawk. He's pre-law.

I thought he was pre-med?

 

[SteevieG]

What state is the wife in?

I believe Indiana.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Name of the Judge, please.

I can give you a name as long as you don't use it for evil.

That's the last thing I need.

I want to check this "gentleman's" record and find out a little about him. The language he used addressing you and his ruling, if all is as you describe, is extremely unprofessional.

Better listen to him, seahawk. He's pre-law.

I thought he was pre-med?

What's the difference?

 

[Godsbrother]

I am guessing the instant he would move back the ex would file for a Protection order and with Seahawk's luck it would be granted.

 

[Fennis]

Name of the Judge, please.

I can give you a name as long as you don't use it for evil.

That's the last thing I need.

I want to check this "gentleman's" record and find out a little about him. The language he used addressing you and his ruling, if all is as you describe, is extremely unprofessional.

Better listen to him, seahawk. He's pre-law.

I thought he was pre-med?

What's the difference?

One makes you sit half naked in a waiting room for an hour and then when he finally sees you will fondle your balls and jam a finger up your ### and the other practices medicine.

 

[Whitetail Hunter]

I feel sick to my stomach just reading the most recent updates. Best of luck.

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

What state is the wife in?

I believe Indiana.

Was hoping NJ as I know some good family attorneys there who are female, but often represent the husband/father and have done quite well.

Are all these proceedings taking place in Indiana without local representation?

 

[WetDream]

Name of the Judge, please.

I can give you a name as long as you don't use it for evil.

That's the last thing I need.

I want to check this "gentleman's" record and find out a little about him. The language he used addressing you and his ruling, if all is as you describe, is extremely unprofessional.

Better listen to him, seahawk. He's pre-law.

I thought he was pre-med?

What's the difference?

One makes you sit half naked in a waiting room for an hour and then when he finally sees you will fondle your balls and jam a finger up your ### and the other practices medicine.

PM sent

 

[Instinctive]

Unbelievable. Just wow.

 

[cstu]

So...the update ends as it begins. I was in court in February. The whole thing took maybe 20 minutes.

My position: I email, call, social network and get no response. She refuses my visits and has my number blocked. All I want is visits enforced, my number unblocked and actually allowed to speak with them. I requested that the court ordered counseling be enforced also. I bring up her current husbands arrest record and point out she testified in court that he has never been arrested. Phone records are produced, and I play the recording I get when I call stating my number is blocked. In addition, nobody in my family has talked to the children.

Her position: The children are traumatized from their summer experience with me, they are afraid I will kill their mom, and do not want any contact with me. She can't "make" teenage kids call me, or write me back. She would not let the children go to their visit because the address I gave her where I was staying was in MI. I have already "kidnapped" them before, was staying out of state from my visit, and would have help if I wanted to hide them again. (My buddy lives in MI...45 mins from my ex) She shows records that I call, but for time spoken it shows zero. She states that this is because I refuse to leave a message, not because my number is blocked. She states that she can't afford to take the children to counseling.

My rebuttal: Phone calls say zero talk time because I cant get through to anyone. I don't have over night visits so if I want to stay the night in MI then that's my choice. I have to pay for the children's counseling, there is no out of pocket expense for her. If they are so traumatized they need counseling. I add that she does not want the children in counseling because they are mandatory reporters.

Judgment: The judge sliced and diced me. He stated that he had read the previous paperwork from the judge and that I was a horrible person. He said the parenting plan I am on is the most restrictive he has ever seen, and that he was going to guess that the previous judge had good reason to put me on it. None of the husband stuff had anything to do with parenting time enforcement. There was no way to determine if the block call recording was legit or not. He added that he didn't believe a thing that I had to say...and I had zero credibility in his court room. He added that he felt like I was using the judicial system to harass my ex. He told me if the children wanted a relationship with me they would look me up after graduation. He advised that I move on with my life, and to give this up.

No changes in visitation and awarded her another 5,000 in attorney fees.

My number is blocked again. I email but hear nothing. Save your money boys...I can't win.

There is the update.

What is the visitation agreement?

 

[Johnny Rock]

Why do some women do this to their kids? Sickening.

What a reunion it will be when you see the kids next. Keep the love alive GB.

 

[Gator Shawn]

I can't even imagine how this must make you feel. Keep fighting.

 

[seahawk 17]

Haven't talked to my son in almost two years?. He will be 17 soon. Calls me Friday crying hard that things have gotten bad for him and he needs me to "save him" I told him that I have been down this road before, and I need him to help me help him. I added that I would always be there for him. He told me he was getting kicked out of his moms house and that when he stated that he would just move in with me, mom and step dad ganged up on him physically. I told him that I need specifics and he said it was not safe to talk. He said that his mom gave him permission to move in and she would call me to work out the details.

Since Friday I have had no calls, his Facebook and Twitter was shut down on Saturday, and coincidentally I got served court papers today upping my child support by 300.00 per month and taking any settlement money that I win from my accident in April.

How does she know I just received a large raise, and that I was in a no fault accident getting a settlement, I haven't even been told that yet.

What do I do about my son? Is he in trouble, or is his mom using him to figure out how up to speed I am about her movements?

I have had no contact with my ex since 08/13/13 so I am also wondering why she is suddenly acting out.

 

[Mario Kart]

Wasn't expecting this update tonight however the only advice I can give is to call the proper authorities to see what they say. Inquire as much as possible and contact a lawyer. At minimum there is a record of someone calling your phone so evidence shows that they contacted you. Other than that, ask a lawyer about the letter and try your to make sure your son receives a letter stating something to the effect that, "when you turn 18, call me and I will have a one way plane ticket ready in the hour."

If there is physical activity, contact the police of abuse or suspected abuse. Keep hope alive.

 

[johnnycakes]

At age 17, I would think your son would be able to go to court to be "emancipated" legally... Then he could go wherever he wants, when he wants. Have you checked into pursuing something along those lines?

ETA: Another bonus: Under MA law, at least, child support stops once the child is emancipated.

 

[timschochet]

You have had such terrible terrible luck. I have no advice to offer, but I really hope that once your son turns 18 you'll be able to re/establish your relationship with him, and that future years will be sweeter being able to spend time with him.

 

[Mario Kart]

Also, if your ex is adamant about upping your child support... the day your kid turns 18, stop sending her money. She might be trying to maximize the pain she is putting you through. Also, about the payment for your accident, lawyers would have to explain better but I don't think she is entitled to any of that. Tell the courts that whatever judgement they render to put the money into a trust for your kid for college. What judge would deny that?