Funny Guys (1 Viewer)

[Hagger]

So I've got a female acquaintance who is constantly blasting men for being sexist. She seems very preoccupied by it because it comes up daily. I've been getting a little annoyed and I've decided to antagonize her a little. You know, just because it's fun. So if you've got a woman who's constantly blaming men for being sexist, what are some good quips to get a rise out of her? This forum is filled with doctors, lawyers, politicians, millionaires and excellent quipsters, so I figured this might be a good place to see what ya' got.

 

[TLEF316]

Just keep calling her sugar ####

 

[Reginald Cornsilks]

Next time she says something, laugh and say "well that's why they all call you lunchbox"

Then refuse to explain who or why she known as lunchbox around the friends. Act nervous like you let it slip right after.

 

[Quint]

ask her if she would like some Irish Sunglasses.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Keep asking her to get you stuff (e.g. A beer, etc) and smack her on the ###

 

[Fennis]

Hopefully she doesn't find out you asked a board full of guys for a snappy comeback.

 

[johnnycakes]

I've found that calling a lady "lady" usually rubs them the wrong way.

"Lady, I answered your question. You asked if I knew why she went to the hospital; I said I did not. Had you asked if I had some best guess from the array of possibilities for which she has been previously hospitalized, I may have had a different answer."

When the judge explains, "in court, you should address the judge as "your honor", reply back,

"I thought that was just on tv."

 

[Hagger]

Keep asking her to get you stuff (e.g. A beer, etc) and smack her on the ###

This would most likely lead to a sexual harassment charge.

Hopefully she doesn't find out you asked a board full of guys for a snappy comeback.

No, I'm fine with that. I'm not snappy.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

ask her if she would like some Irish Sunglasses.

Just keep calling her sugar ####

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Whenever she tries to say something "smart" just stare at her blankly. Then wait about 10 seconds and say "you're pretty".

If she isn't attractive at all this won't work.

Of course you could constantly give her unsolicited advice on how to make herself more attractive.

 

[Ditka Butkus]

Tell her she has a pretty mouth...then ask her if talking is the only thing she can do with it.

 

[D-Day]

"I use to think women were only good for two things, but I have been informed that having her "roll over" does not constitute as a 'second' thing."

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Make sure to use the word broad and broads a lot

 

[Rohn Jambo]

Use it to your advantage. Wait for her to open doors and pull out chairs for you. Extra points if you get her to pay for your drinks.

 

[satch]

Just keep calling her sugar ####

This is the answer. The best part is that she'll secretly love it.

 

[Jules Winnfield]

Next time she complains, just agree with her and say, "You're right! Sexism hurts everyone...especially broads"

Keep asking her where your sandwich is

 

[The Duff Man]

If it was a guy, everyone in here would say sleep with his wife....so in order to not be sexist you should do that.

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

I think you need to go subtle here. You can try the Steve Colbert routine and answer every question with a question routine. You should also constantly go out of your way to treat her like a "lady", get the door for her, ask her if you can open her drink for her, tell her she looks lovely today, pull out her chair for her, ask her if she needs help with lifting things or finding directions somewhere. Pound her into submission. What is she going to do, complain to management that you're being constantly polite to her?

 

[Ghost Rider]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3gMELlrO3E

 

[Rohn Jambo]

I think you need to go subtle here. You can try the Steve Colbert routine and answer every question with a question routine. You should also constantly go out of your way to treat her like a "lady", get the door for her, ask her if you can open her drink for her, tell her she looks lovely today, pull out her chair for her, ask her if she needs help with lifting things or finding directions somewhere. Pound her into submission. What is she going to do, complain to management that you're being constantly polite to her?

Be extra polite to the other "ladies" when she's around but treat her like one of the guys.

 

[bostonfred]

You could go the subtle route. If she's upset about stereotypes then throw something supportive out there. "I can't believe he doesn't respect you. The national organization of women said that 18% of women are better than men at things like math, science, logic and statistics." If she's upset about politics, you could do what the man show did and offer to start a petition to end women's suffrage. Stock your cabinets with her favorite foods and put them on the top cabinet shelf. Because you're supportive.