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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (9 Viewers)

General Malaise said:
In an effort to lose a few pounds, lower blood pressure and give up the stress of a stupid commute in a dense city of drivers who have no idea how to merge, use passing lanes or view the speed limit as something of  a mere suggestion, I started walking to work and back every day.  Started doing this in April.  Best thing I've ever done as I've lowered BP, dropped a few lbs, have been listening to new music and now and again, stop to smell the roses, so to speak.  Each morning, I walk from my house to a train, commute 17 minutes to my stop and walk to the office.  Just wish I started doing this sooner.

I tend to keep me head on a swivel because I've learned that despite Oregon's efforts to restrict drivers from using their phones, it's done very little to curb the head down texting I see multiple times every day.  So I try to use common sense and give the cars a healthy dose of skepticism.  That doesn't prevent me from also keeping my eyes down on the ground in the hopes I find some money or any other interesting items of note.  Know what I see a lot of?  

Spent condoms.  In the strangest of places too.  At least I find them a bit curious.  Parking lots, sidewalks, train tracks, gutters.  I suppose I should be encouraged that people are practicing safe sex but at the same time, why can't they find a garbage can?  And another thing, are these hookers you think?  Guys getting on with a call girl in a parking lot and tossing out their Trojans before peeling away?  So many questions.  Every condom has a story.  I'd like to know them.
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The Used Condom Diaries sounds like a money-making TV series.

 
General Malaise said:
In an effort to lose a few pounds, lower blood pressure and give up the stress of a stupid commute in a dense city of drivers who have no idea how to merge, use passing lanes or view the speed limit as something of  a mere suggestion, I started walking to work and back every day.  Started doing this in April.  Best thing I've ever done as I've lowered BP, dropped a few lbs, have been listening to new music and now and again, stop to smell the roses, so to speak.  Each morning, I walk from my house to a train, commute 17 minutes to my stop and walk to the office.  Just wish I started doing this sooner.

I tend to keep me head on a swivel because I've learned that despite Oregon's efforts to restrict drivers from using their phones, it's done very little to curb the head down texting I see multiple times every day.  So I try to use common sense and give the cars a healthy dose of skepticism.  That doesn't prevent me from also keeping my eyes down on the ground in the hopes I find some money or any other interesting items of note.  Know what I see a lot of?  

Spent condoms.  In the strangest of places too.  At least I find them a bit curious.  Parking lots, sidewalks, train tracks, gutters.  I suppose I should be encouraged that people are practicing safe sex but at the same time, why can't they find a garbage can?  And another thing, are these hookers you think?  Guys getting on with a call girl in a parking lot and tossing out their Trojans before peeling away?  So many questions.  Every condom has a story.  I'd like to know them.
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Nah.  I'm sure they're all just mom's and dad's who love each other....that decide to go pound away by the dumpster behind a P.F. Chang's/at the bus terminal/in a crosswalk.  Keeping things "frisky" for fun, y'know?

 
General Malaise said:
In an effort to lose a few pounds, lower blood pressure and give up the stress of a stupid commute in a dense city of drivers who have no idea how to merge, use passing lanes or view the speed limit as something of  a mere suggestion, I started walking to work and back every day.  Started doing this in April.  Best thing I've ever done as I've lowered BP, dropped a few lbs, have been listening to new music and now and again, stop to smell the roses, so to speak.  Each morning, I walk from my house to a train, commute 17 minutes to my stop and walk to the office.  Just wish I started doing this sooner.

I tend to keep me head on a swivel because I've learned that despite Oregon's efforts to restrict drivers from using their phones, it's done very little to curb the head down texting I see multiple times every day.  So I try to use common sense and give the cars a healthy dose of skepticism.  That doesn't prevent me from also keeping my eyes down on the ground in the hopes I find some money or any other interesting items of note.  Know what I see a lot of?  

Spent condoms.  In the strangest of places too.  At least I find them a bit curious.  Parking lots, sidewalks, train tracks, gutters.  I suppose I should be encouraged that people are practicing safe sex but at the same time, why can't they find a garbage can?  And another thing, are these hookers you think?  Guys getting on with a call girl in a parking lot and tossing out their Trojans before peeling away?  So many questions.  Every condom has a story.  I'd like to know them.
Click to expand...
Beware of birthday parties.

 
Limp Ditka said:
Beware of birthday parties.
Click to expand...
Yeah, that's something I don't think I'll EVER see on this train.  This is more or less a 'shame train'.  Not to toot my own horn, but I'd bet I'm probably one of two or three out of the dozens of passengers who holds a college degree.  There's very little ebullience, never any booze and I don't know that I've ever seen a woman beyond an Offdee 6.  Plus, it's all of 17 minutes, which is barely long enough to produce a spent condom.*





*It would take me 15 minutes to figure out how to use one of these things again. 

 
General Malaise said:
In an effort to lose a few pounds, lower blood pressure and give up the stress of a stupid commute in a dense city of drivers who have no idea how to merge, use passing lanes or view the speed limit as something of  a mere suggestion, I started walking to work and back every day.  Started doing this in April.  Best thing I've ever done as I've lowered BP, dropped a few lbs, have been listening to new music and now and again, stop to smell the roses, so to speak.  Each morning, I walk from my house to a train, commute 17 minutes to my stop and walk to the office.  Just wish I started doing this sooner.

I tend to keep me head on a swivel because I've learned that despite Oregon's efforts to restrict drivers from using their phones, it's done very little to curb the head down texting I see multiple times every day.  So I try to use common sense and give the cars a healthy dose of skepticism.  That doesn't prevent me from also keeping my eyes down on the ground in the hopes I find some money or any other interesting items of note.  Know what I see a lot of?  

Spent condoms.  In the strangest of places too.  At least I find them a bit curious.  Parking lots, sidewalks, train tracks, gutters.  I suppose I should be encouraged that people are practicing safe sex but at the same time, why can't they find a garbage can?  And another thing, are these hookers you think?  Guys getting on with a call girl in a parking lot and tossing out their Trojans before peeling away?  So many questions.  Every condom has a story.  I'd like to know them.
Click to expand...
I'm guessing its mostly car sex and the condom is tossed out.

 
General Malaise said:
In an effort to lose a few pounds, lower blood pressure and give up the stress of a stupid commute in a dense city of drivers who have no idea how to merge, use passing lanes or view the speed limit as something of  a mere suggestion, I started walking to work and back every day.  Started doing this in April.  Best thing I've ever done as I've lowered BP, dropped a few lbs, have been listening to new music and now and again, stop to smell the roses, so to speak.  Each morning, I walk from my house to a train, commute 17 minutes to my stop and walk to the office.  Just wish I started doing this sooner.

I tend to keep me head on a swivel because I've learned that despite Oregon's efforts to restrict drivers from using their phones, it's done very little to curb the head down texting I see multiple times every day.  So I try to use common sense and give the cars a healthy dose of skepticism.  That doesn't prevent me from also keeping my eyes down on the ground in the hopes I find some money or any other interesting items of note.  Know what I see a lot of?  

Spent condoms.  In the strangest of places too.  At least I find them a bit curious.  Parking lots, sidewalks, train tracks, gutters.  I suppose I should be encouraged that people are practicing safe sex but at the same time, why can't they find a garbage can?  And another thing, are these hookers you think?  Guys getting on with a call girl in a parking lot and tossing out their Trojans before peeling away?  So many questions.  Every condom has a story.  I'd like to know them.
Click to expand...
David Cross has a good bit on this

I'd post an excerpt but I don't want a TO

 
Bob Sacamano said:
Actually, I guess I started walking to work again this morning.  I walked from my garage door to my car, commuted 35 miles to our underground parking garage, and walked to the elevator that took me up to my floor.

No wonder I'm exhausted.
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Look, I realize I'm not exactly performing cross fit each day, but it's 5 miles of walking I wasn't doing prior.  I hope your meals this weekend are loaded with lettuce.

 
General Malaise said:
In an effort to lose a few pounds, lower blood pressure and give up the stress of a stupid commute in a dense city of drivers who have no idea how to merge, use passing lanes or view the speed limit as something of  a mere suggestion, I started walking to work and back every day.  Started doing this in April.  Best thing I've ever done as I've lowered BP, dropped a few lbs, have been listening to new music and now and again, stop to smell the roses, so to speak.  Each morning, I walk from my house to a train, commute 17 minutes to my stop and walk to the office.  Just wish I started doing this sooner.
Click to expand...
Just wait til the ladies broads start checking out your ###/legs!!!

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Thorn said:
Just wait til the ladies broads start checking out your ###/legs!!!
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Oh, they check out my ###/legs, but only as a gross curiosity.  Butt's not terrible, but my legs are burdened with unsightly varicose veins. :bag:   My buddy's hot wife asked about them the other night.  "What are those big purple bruises on your legs?"  "Those are varicose veins, Laura.  You asked about them last summer too." :hot:  

 
General Malaise said:
Oh, they check out my ###/legs, but only as a gross curiosity.  Butt's not terrible, but my legs are burdened with unsightly varicose veins. :bag:   My buddy's hot wife asked about them the other night.  "What are those big purple bruises on your legs?"  "Those are varicose veins, Laura.  You asked about them last summer too." :hot:  
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Laura sounds hot

 
Uruk-Hai said:
Plus, she has a bad memory. That's an underrated trait that I often look for in women.
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Another plus is that she drinks white wine with reckless abandon. :wub:

She's also got a masters degree in environmental engineering and comes from very old New Orleans money.  My buddy Fred married WAY up in life.

 
mr roboto said:
Baby roboto set to be forcibly evicted from womb on Tuesday morning. Sunday is set up as a day of boating and drinking and eating grilled meat. If this baby decides to show up early I'm going to ask her to go back in. 
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Happy I'm not a father yet day. 

General Malaise said:
Another plus is that she drinks white wine with reckless abandon. :wub:

She's also got a masters degree in environmental engineering and comes from very old New Orleans money.  My buddy Fred married WAY up in life.
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Concrete evidence that you have two buddies named Fred 

 
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