mr. furley
Footballguy
tl;dr: in-laws are the wurst
didn't want to steal the in-law thunder yesterday. the traveler's cheque shtick is amazing and i'm filing that away for future use.
my MIL is an absent-minded loon. she exists in this world, in theory, but in practice she's somewhere else. "conversation", inasmuch as it can be called that, with her is sort of a cross between Uncle Leo and your buddy that took acid for the first time and is grasping at straws to put letters together to form words that remotely make sentences.
she's a staccato stream of consciousness with no regard for her surroundings.
she watches my kids during the day. a tremendous failing on my part in that we can't afford another option. if i were a better parent and human being i would work 2 full time jobs so that my wife could stay home.. but, i'm not, so we lean on this woman to care for our children.
it has mostly been an uneasy arrangement of necessity and convenience. this woman has not had a job of any sort since 1972. she is home all day. her husband passed away 6 years ago. the kids keep her.... alive, basically.
upside: free daycare with a family member. she lives less than 6 blocks from the kids school
downside: everything else
she basically lays in her bed all day, watching tv. the kids have no supervision outside of when they run in to her room to update her. she barely interacts with them in any meaningful way. despite that, the kids aren't complete disasters. they seem to really enjoy grandma and are well behaved there and at home (normal small child behavior excluded). this is what they know. it's completely normal to them.
i rarely interact with my mother in law because she's exhausting. her ad/hd, total lack of awareness and indifference to others talking just make me insane.
yesterday, after weeks of advance warning and daily discussion (she sees my wife twice a day and they talk on the phone.... .3 - 4 times per day) i stopped by her house to pick up both of my kids. oldest has a reading assessment appointment for school (mandatory) at 11:45. appointments are anywhere from 30 - 45 minutes. school is less than 5 minutes drive if you blow a tire and break both hands trying to change it.
i get to my MIL's house. door is shut. curtains are draw. i knock... no answer. knock again... door opens. it's my 7 year old.
me: "where's grandma?"
her:
me: what do you mean
her: she's probably in her room (runs in to grandma's bedroom.. lights are off.. tv is on). she's in here!
her (to grandma): dad is here! we're leaving for the reading thing! (sister) is coming with us!! (she's very excitable)
before we leave both kids run in and out of grandma's room a handful of times. i'm not going anywhere near the door because 1) it's her bedroom, 2) she's probably not dressed, 3) she will vomit words at me continuously until i turn and run because she has no concept of time or responsibility
i yell "see you in an hour! i'm taking the kids to school for the reading program today!"
no response. she could be dead. i have no idea.
get to school, get the oldest in to her appointment. hanging out with my youngest in the school library. maybe 30 minute has passed... my oldest's 1st grade teacher (kid is going in to 3rd) comes wandering in, finds me and says "uhh.. your mother in law was just here.. she's looking for the kids.. she said she thinks they might be here. i think she left already, though." :blink:
took me a second to process what this girl just told me. my mother in law, realizing that her grandchildren are not inside her house, decides to drive to their school in search of them but before finding out if they are indeed there... leaves.
i do not have a means by which to contact my mother in law. she has a cell phone but i don't have the number. call my wife. she does not answer (go figure). text my wife. she does not answer.
reading appointment wraps up. pile my kids in the car. drive back to grandma's.
she's not there. car is gone. no answer at the door. she's gone.
i have to be back to work as i'm already way past my lunch hour and have meetings in the afternoon i'm starting to run up against. make the decision to drive to my wife's office in hopes that she may be there. it's maybe 10 minutes from my in-laws. thankfully, my wife is there. i tell her what happened.. she looks incredulously at me and says "well, what do you want me to do? i'm at work. :shrug" HOW ABOUT GET YOUR MOM ON THE ####### PHONE???
tell her i'm leaving the kids with her. she hasn't taken lunch yet. she has an hour lunch to figure out what happened with her mom or one of us has to skip out of work to take them home.
hours later i get, not a call but, a text from my wife:
"mom forgot about the reading appointment today. she went to the bank. just got back."
1) HOW THE #### ARE YOU SO OBLIVIOUS THAT YOU "forget" AN APPOINTMENT THAT YOU HAVE LITERALLY TALKED ABOUT WITH YOUR DAUGHTER EVERY DAY FOR THREE WEEKS?????? IT'S ON YOUR #######ED CALENDAR!!! SHE REMINDED YOU THIS MORNING!
2) MY KIDS, and I, YELLED AT YOU A HALF DOZEN TIMES THAT I WAS THERE TO PICK THEM UP AND WE'D BE BACK IN AN HOUR!
3) WHY DID IT TAKE YOU 30+ MINUTES TO REALIZE THE KIDS WEREN'T THERE???? and instead of, i dunno, calling your daughter or calling me to alert us...you drove to their school in hopes of finding them??? and then, instead of sticking around to find out if they were or weren't there... you LEFT! what was the rationale here? the kids walked to school because...... why not? or i picked them up, dropped them off and then left expecting that they'd just sort the rest out on their own (they're 7 and 5)?
4) instead of calling one of us, or paging one of us at school, or calling the police BECAUSE YOUR GRANDKIDS WERE MISSING.. you drove "to the bank"??? then showed up at home "a couple hours" later???
wife and i have not had a heart to hear about this yet. i'm still way, way, way too angry. it will result in her shrugging her shoulders a lot, blaming everyone under the sun except her mom and then saying "what can we do?"
all that said, the traveler's checks story was way better. i'm just venting my anger.
didn't want to steal the in-law thunder yesterday. the traveler's cheque shtick is amazing and i'm filing that away for future use.
my MIL is an absent-minded loon. she exists in this world, in theory, but in practice she's somewhere else. "conversation", inasmuch as it can be called that, with her is sort of a cross between Uncle Leo and your buddy that took acid for the first time and is grasping at straws to put letters together to form words that remotely make sentences.
she's a staccato stream of consciousness with no regard for her surroundings.
she watches my kids during the day. a tremendous failing on my part in that we can't afford another option. if i were a better parent and human being i would work 2 full time jobs so that my wife could stay home.. but, i'm not, so we lean on this woman to care for our children.
it has mostly been an uneasy arrangement of necessity and convenience. this woman has not had a job of any sort since 1972. she is home all day. her husband passed away 6 years ago. the kids keep her.... alive, basically.
upside: free daycare with a family member. she lives less than 6 blocks from the kids school
downside: everything else
she basically lays in her bed all day, watching tv. the kids have no supervision outside of when they run in to her room to update her. she barely interacts with them in any meaningful way. despite that, the kids aren't complete disasters. they seem to really enjoy grandma and are well behaved there and at home (normal small child behavior excluded). this is what they know. it's completely normal to them.
i rarely interact with my mother in law because she's exhausting. her ad/hd, total lack of awareness and indifference to others talking just make me insane.
yesterday, after weeks of advance warning and daily discussion (she sees my wife twice a day and they talk on the phone.... .3 - 4 times per day) i stopped by her house to pick up both of my kids. oldest has a reading assessment appointment for school (mandatory) at 11:45. appointments are anywhere from 30 - 45 minutes. school is less than 5 minutes drive if you blow a tire and break both hands trying to change it.
i get to my MIL's house. door is shut. curtains are draw. i knock... no answer. knock again... door opens. it's my 7 year old.
me: "where's grandma?"
her:
me: what do you mean
her: she's probably in her room
(runs in to grandma's bedroom.. lights are off.. tv is on). she's in here! her (to grandma): dad is here! we're leaving for the reading thing! (sister) is coming with us!! (she's very excitable)
before we leave both kids run in and out of grandma's room a handful of times. i'm not going anywhere near the door because 1) it's her bedroom, 2) she's probably not dressed, 3) she will vomit words at me continuously until i turn and run because she has no concept of time or responsibility
i yell "see you in an hour! i'm taking the kids to school for the reading program today!"
no response. she could be dead. i have no idea.
get to school, get the oldest in to her appointment. hanging out with my youngest in the school library. maybe 30 minute has passed... my oldest's 1st grade teacher (kid is going in to 3rd) comes wandering in, finds me and says "uhh.. your mother in law was just here.. she's looking for the kids.. she said she thinks they might be here. i think she left already, though." :blink:
took me a second to process what this girl just told me. my mother in law, realizing that her grandchildren are not inside her house, decides to drive to their school in search of them but before finding out if they are indeed there... leaves.
i do not have a means by which to contact my mother in law. she has a cell phone but i don't have the number. call my wife. she does not answer (go figure). text my wife. she does not answer.
reading appointment wraps up. pile my kids in the car. drive back to grandma's.
she's not there. car is gone. no answer at the door. she's gone.
i have to be back to work as i'm already way past my lunch hour and have meetings in the afternoon i'm starting to run up against. make the decision to drive to my wife's office in hopes that she may be there. it's maybe 10 minutes from my in-laws. thankfully, my wife is there. i tell her what happened.. she looks incredulously at me and says "well, what do you want me to do? i'm at work. :shrug" HOW ABOUT GET YOUR MOM ON THE ####### PHONE???
tell her i'm leaving the kids with her. she hasn't taken lunch yet. she has an hour lunch to figure out what happened with her mom or one of us has to skip out of work to take them home.
hours later i get, not a call but, a text from my wife:
"mom forgot about the reading appointment today. she went to the bank. just got back."
1) HOW THE #### ARE YOU SO OBLIVIOUS THAT YOU "forget" AN APPOINTMENT THAT YOU HAVE LITERALLY TALKED ABOUT WITH YOUR DAUGHTER EVERY DAY FOR THREE WEEKS?????? IT'S ON YOUR #######ED CALENDAR!!! SHE REMINDED YOU THIS MORNING!
2) MY KIDS, and I, YELLED AT YOU A HALF DOZEN TIMES THAT I WAS THERE TO PICK THEM UP AND WE'D BE BACK IN AN HOUR!
3) WHY DID IT TAKE YOU 30+ MINUTES TO REALIZE THE KIDS WEREN'T THERE???? and instead of, i dunno, calling your daughter or calling me to alert us...you drove to their school in hopes of finding them??? and then, instead of sticking around to find out if they were or weren't there... you LEFT! what was the rationale here? the kids walked to school because...... why not? or i picked them up, dropped them off and then left expecting that they'd just sort the rest out on their own (they're 7 and 5)?
4) instead of calling one of us, or paging one of us at school, or calling the police BECAUSE YOUR GRANDKIDS WERE MISSING.. you drove "to the bank"??? then showed up at home "a couple hours" later???
wife and i have not had a heart to hear about this yet. i'm still way, way, way too angry. it will result in her shrugging her shoulders a lot, blaming everyone under the sun except her mom and then saying "what can we do?"
all that said, the traveler's checks story was way better. i'm just venting my anger.
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Glad you and your son are ok, that's ####### crazy and sounds scary as hell.
