What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (13 Viewers)

Dan Lambskin said:
I'm not a religious man but I'm pretty sure Hell would be going with your wife and 3 children to the outlet mall to visit the aquarium and Lego Land that opened just a few weeks ago
Click to expand...
I'm paying a bunch of money to do most of that in San Diego this summer. Doesn't seem like that great of an idea when you put it that way.

 
GroveDiesel said:
I have no idea what happened to my life. Wednesday I'm drinking Jasmine tea and today I'm sitting here watching horses prance around at a horse show my wife's friend is in. If I hadn't changed my own oil this morning I think I would have more questions than I am comfortable with 
Click to expand...
Truth: you went because you thought her friend was in a donkey show, didn't you?

 
mr. furley said:
about 6-7 years ago my wife insisted that we needed a top of the line vacuum. fine, whatever. 

today, for the first time since buying the vacuum she actually used it.... and has determined that it sucks and we need a new one.

i do all the cleaning and have literally never had a problem with it.  

she uses it once... and now she wants to curb this one and go buy a top of the line replacement

i ####### give up
Click to expand...
Shark move is to say that you'll buy a new one, remove or cover the stickers on the current one with another brand name, change the bag/intake to make it look different, and you'll save $500.  Take that $500 and buy hookers and blow, save a little bit extra to buy a Dustbuster to clean up all the fake nails off the floor.  Do not vacuum the blow though, save every granule.

You're welcome.   

 
Doctor Detroit said:
Shark move is to say that you'll buy a new one, remove or cover the stickers on the current one with another brand name, change the bag/intake to make it look different, and you'll save $500.  Take that $500 and buy hookers and blow, save a little bit extra to buy a Dustbuster to clean up all the fake nails off the floor.  Do not vacuum the blow though, save every granule.

You're welcome.   
Click to expand...
Or have it re-plated in white gold like Bob would. Seems to work.

 
mr. furley said:
about 6-7 years ago my wife insisted that we needed a top of the line vacuum. fine, whatever. 

today, for the first time since buying the vacuum she actually used it.... and has determined that it sucks and we need a new one.

i do all the cleaning and have literally never had a problem with it.  

she uses it once... and now she wants to curb this one and go buy a top of the line replacement

i ####### give up
Click to expand...
All kinds of extra stupid in this one

 
mr. furley said:
about 6-7 years ago my wife insisted that we needed a top of the line vacuum. fine, whatever. 

today, for the first time since buying the vacuum she actually used it.... and has determined that it sucks and we need a new one.

i do all the cleaning and have literally never had a problem with it.  

she uses it once... and now she wants to curb this one and go buy a top of the line replacement

i ####### give up
Click to expand...
Buy the cheapest plastic junk you can find

 
Got a little loopy and think I invited Foghorn Legman and his hot wife over for bloody Mary's this morning.  Better go get some bloody Mary stuff in case.

 
General Malaise said:
Got a little loopy and think I invited Foghorn Legman and his hot wife over for bloody Mary's this morning.  Better go get some bloody Mary stuff in case.
Click to expand...
Not familiar with this character. Pics? Of the wife, of course.

 
We paid a lot for an Oreck back when that was the hot thing in sucking technology. Now, we have like three different Dysons because the Oreck is old and lame. Can't wait until the next big thing!

 
mr. furley said:
about 6-7 years ago my wife insisted that we needed a top of the line vacuum. fine, whatever. 

today, for the first time since buying the vacuum she actually used it.... and has determined that it sucks and we need a new one.

i do all the cleaning and have literally never had a problem with it.  

she uses it once... and now she wants to curb this one and go buy a top of the line replacement

i ####### give up
Click to expand...
I was out of town for a few days and my better half told me that the vacuum was "broken" and she just "can't handle it anymore." She vacuums maybe twice a year. She sent me a link to some $400 complete bs auto vacuuming robot disk she thought I should purchase for "us." I get home, pull a MASSIVE hair ball out of the vacuum innards and show her what the issue was. Her response was " I just give up on that pos and we need a new one. I don't want to talk about it."  WUT??!?!  /rageface.

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
After years of buying whatever vacuum was on sale at Target we bought a Dyson about 4-5 years ago.   It works like a champion.  
Click to expand...
We have a Shark because I once clicked on a "Shark v Dyson" listing on TV thinking it would be one of those movies Frosty likes to watch.  Works like a champ at less than half the cost.  :vacuumchat:  :sharkmove:

 
mrip541 said:
I was out of town for a few days and my better half told me that the vacuum was "broken" and she just "can't handle it anymore." She vacuums maybe twice a year. She sent me a link to some $400 complete bs auto vacuuming robot disk she thought I should purchase for "us." I get home, pull a MASSIVE hair ball out of the vacuum innards and show her what the issue was. Her response was " I just give up on that pos and we need a new one. I don't want to talk about it."  WUT??!?!  /rageface.
Click to expand...
2 weekends ago furleywife and i packaged up furleybaby for her first vacation. Madison for GTOTM tickets.  a great time was had by all. good people, good beer(s?), good weather. we got home around dinner time on sunday. both of us a little bummed that the weekend was over and that we had to walk in to a house left... a little dirty.  imagine my surprise when we walk in and see the dishes have been done, the floors swept and vacuumed... hell.. steam cleaned even! my first thought was 'it had to have been my mom'. she was to come over and feed the cats on saturday.. sometimes she will clean a room when she comes over. who can complain?so i call her and say "thanks for cleaning up the place.. it looks great."my mom:  ??? you're welcome?  ???baby started freaking out so i left it at that and thought no more.MIL has radar for when we arrive home. no sooner do i hang up with my mom than furleyMIL calls to check in.  it comes out that she and not my mom had done the cleaning.    this is a woman whose house is... well... not clean. furleywife and i went over there a couple summers ago to throw away dishes she had left in her sink that were moldy    every room in her house except the living room is piled high with mess. so.. i was completely shocked that she went out of her way to clean our house. shocked. knowing what i know about her i knew there was another shoe yet to drop. there had to be.   it wasn't plainly evident but it was there.. somewhere.. lurking.the other shoe dropped yesterday at brunch.   furleyMIL had "broken" our vacuum cleaner. not a huge deal. it was a gift from the in-laws 2 christmases ago. a nice cyclone typevacuum. not a Dyson but a few hundred bucks all the same. she was very apologetic and promised to replace the vacuum as soon as we pick out a new one.  #### happens. wife was not happy but whatareyougonnado? i drifted off to walk the kid around while wife and MIL talked. we wrap things up and head home to put Ad down for her nap. furleywife: my mom told me that she's not sure what happened to the vacuum. she was vacuuming for a while and it just stopped working.furley: huh. #### happens. furleywife: yeah, i thought it might be the belt or something so i checked it.. there was nothing wrong with it. my mom called (of course :rolleyes) and said it was getting really full and then it just shut off. she figured out how to open it up and emptied it. she said 'there were these two metal things in there, i think they got sucked up in to the vacuum, so i threw then in the trash'.furley:    ???     THE "cyclone" PARTS? THE SPIRAL HARD PLASTIC PIECES THAT CREATE THE SPIN THAT SUCKS THE DIRT UP?? THEY ARE 8 INCHES LONG BY 4 INCHES WIDE??? HOW DID SHE FIGURE THEY GOT SUCKED UP THROUGH A SLOT A HALF-INCH WIDE???? AND HOW DID SHE FIGURE THAT THEY GOT LODGED, PERFECTLY SYMETRICALLY, INSIDE THE CLEAR PLASTIC "BAG" WITHOUT HER NOTICING A HORRIFIC NOISE???furleywife:  furley:  

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Doctor Detroit said:
Shark move is to say that you'll buy a new one, remove or cover the stickers on the current one with another brand name, change the bag/intake to make it look different, and you'll save $500.  Take that $500 and buy hookers and blow, save a little bit extra to buy a Dustbuster to clean up all the fake nails off the floor.  Do not vacuum the blow though, save every granule.

You're welcome.   
Click to expand...
Double shark move is to then stash it in the safe for five years, then give it to her as a gift.

 
The worst thing to do to win an argument with someone is to show them conclusively that they were wrong.  You force them into a corner.   She already told you what she wanted to do and it's more embarrassing to admit she was wrong and change her mind than to change her argument mid stream, no matter how irrational it might seem.   Especially when there's some other reason she hasn't told you,  like suzie has one or her friend works at irobot or she wants you to do other things around the house during your new found free time.   

The trick is never show your hand first.  She says she wants a new vacuum,  maybe you say OK.  Let me take a look at it and if we can't fix it we'll talk about it.   Then you don't look at it.   Then she nags you to get a new vacuum and you say I told you I'll take a look at it and if we can't fix it we'll talk about it.   Then she nags you to fix it.  Then you fix it.   And it was her idea.   Boom. You just got paid five hundred dollars to procrastinate.   

 
bostonfred said:
The worst thing to do to win an argument with someone is to show them conclusively that they were wrong.  You force them into a corner.   She already told you what she wanted to do and it's more embarrassing to admit she was wrong and change her mind than to change her argument mid stream, no matter how irrational it might seem.   Especially when there's some other reason she hasn't told you,  like suzie has one or her friend works at irobot or she wants you to do other things around the house during your new found free time.   

The trick is never show your hand first.  She says she wants a new vacuum,  maybe you say OK.  Let me take a look at it and if we can't fix it we'll talk about it.   Then you don't look at it.   Then she nags you to get a new vacuum and you say I told you I'll take a look at it and if we can't fix it we'll talk about it.   Then she nags you to fix it.  Then you fix it.   And it was her idea.   Boom. You just got paid five hundred dollars to procrastinate.   
Click to expand...
let's setup a webinar

how does Thursday at 2 work for you?

 
General Malaise said:
Got a little loopy and think I invited Foghorn Legman and his hot wife over for bloody Mary's this morning.  Better go get some bloody Mary stuff in case.
Click to expand...
It was great seeing you, mrs. GM and the kids (TWINS!!!). Also enjoyed :beaverfootballchat: with your neighbor.

Thanks for the invite!

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

General Malaise
GM's thread about nothing
4998 4999 5000
Replies
250K
Views
6M
rockaction
rockaction

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 10 (members: 0, guests: 10)
Back
Top