5-ish Finkle
Footballguy
bentley said:
I'm reading this as a euphemism that you cheated on your wife.
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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (15 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
I'm reading this as a euphemism that you cheated on your wife.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
I think in gay culture it's called a "splash guard" or a "c#m catcher." Good luck.Nothing has moved, however. Yet.
Only guy wearing a hasmat mask is my guy.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
alt.binaries.pictures.albino.feet.masks
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
What in the actual mother ####?Nothing has moved, however. Yet.
Only guy wearing a hasmat mask is my guy.
Leeroy Jenkins
Footballguy
So my wife's aunt is moving and offered us their second refrigerator that has been in their garage. They also have a chest freezer. We can pick one of the two.
I need a second fridge or freezer because the freezer of our main fridge is too small and I need a place for beer.
Should I take the fridge/freezer combo even though it's been in their garage? Will it crap out soon? I would probably put it in my basement.
Or do I take the chest freezer and just get a mini fridge?
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
I don't think it being in the garage is necessarily bad for it, just it might not work in there during the winter. Mine crapped out because it was like 40 years old.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
This is the best joke I've heard in years...
Three guys are hiking through the woods when they find an old lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes."
The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50
The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.
The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.
The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish. First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.
Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.
Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.
The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish. First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.
Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.
Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.
The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.
Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going.
First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years."
Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."
Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:
"Guys, I think I ####ed up."
The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50
The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.
The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.
The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish. First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.
Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.
Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.
The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish. First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.
Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.
Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.
The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.
Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going.
First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years."
Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."
Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:
"Guys, I think I ####ed up."
Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
Yeah assuming it's a detached/unheated garage it will run pretty inefficiently but will still work until it gets really cold. If it regularly gets below freezing just unplug it and take out anything perishable
Leeroy Jenkins
Footballguy
My garage is attached but unheated with little to no insulation in the attic above it.
Thats why I'm thinking of putting it in the utility room in the basement. It will be less convenient there for cooking -- but more convenient for having beverages in the finished basement.
Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
If you live in a cold climate I wouldn't count on using it in winter
we have main fridge, deep freeze in basement and garage fridge (mostly for beer but some food overflow for parties in summer)
we get a 1/4 cow once a year so need the freezer space for the deep freeze
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
garage fridge does just fine here in southern california.
5-ish Finkle
Footballguy
Garage Fridge is the name of my Bob Mould tribute quartet.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
I told the joke to both of my sons separately. Both times I almost couldn't make it through.Literally tears
Pedro Cerrano Fan
Footballguy
FREEZER
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
mr roboto
Footballguy
We went to a cookout/pool party at a neighbors house today. There's an Indian (dot) family down the street. My daughter and their daughter are in the same kindergarten class. As we are leaving my daughter yells 'Ashna, you're invited to my birthday party this summer! Don't worry, we will have food for vegetarians and American food!'
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Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
mr. furley
Footballguy
cosjobs
Footballguy
Does the fridge have a working icemaker? If so, I'd take that, otherwise I'd lean freezer. And wtf won't she just let you have both?
-fish-
Footballguy
Late Memorial Day post.
Those of I know on FB may have seen this. If you're a history/WWII buff, you might be interested.
My uncle flew B-17's in WWII. He was shot down and killed over Leipzig, Germany. My sister is a historian and found some footage of the pilot and plane that shot down their bomber. It was an experimental Messerschmidt Me 163 Komet---the forerunner to the space shuttle. The cannon it fired was also experimental. The German pilot shot down 2 B-17s that day. The Me 163's shot down a total of 4 planes that day, and then never recorded another victory due to lack of fuel for them.
Footage
My uncle was in the first B-17 shot down at 1:56.
Those of I know on FB may have seen this. If you're a history/WWII buff, you might be interested.
My uncle flew B-17's in WWII. He was shot down and killed over Leipzig, Germany. My sister is a historian and found some footage of the pilot and plane that shot down their bomber. It was an experimental Messerschmidt Me 163 Komet---the forerunner to the space shuttle. The cannon it fired was also experimental. The German pilot shot down 2 B-17s that day. The Me 163's shot down a total of 4 planes that day, and then never recorded another victory due to lack of fuel for them.
Footage
My uncle was in the first B-17 shot down at 1:56.
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Homer J Simpson
I don't push
Holy ####.
Osaurus
Footballguy
Is this you?
@WilliamAder: Friend at Memorial Day BBQ: I see you wasted no time with the white pants.
Me: These are my legs.
Fred Flintstone
Footballguy
Damn.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
A World War II Spitfire pilot is speaking in a church and reminiscing about his war experiences.
"In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember," he continues, "one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared."
There are a few gasps from the parishioners, and several of the children began to giggle.
"I looked up, and realized that two of the fokkers were directly above me. I aimed at the first one and shot him down. By then, though, the other fokker was right on my tail."
At this point, several of the elderly ladies of the church were blushing with embarrassment, the girls were all giggling and the boys laughing loudly.
The pastor finally stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of a German-Dutch aircraft company, who made many of the planes used by the Germans during the war."
"Yes, that's true," says the old pilot, "but these fokkers were flying Messerschmitts."
"In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember," he continues, "one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared."
There are a few gasps from the parishioners, and several of the children began to giggle.
"I looked up, and realized that two of the fokkers were directly above me. I aimed at the first one and shot him down. By then, though, the other fokker was right on my tail."
At this point, several of the elderly ladies of the church were blushing with embarrassment, the girls were all giggling and the boys laughing loudly.
The pastor finally stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of a German-Dutch aircraft company, who made many of the planes used by the Germans during the war."
"Yes, that's true," says the old pilot, "but these fokkers were flying Messerschmitts."
bentley
Footballguy
One of my grandfathers fought in the sands of Iwo Jima and then spent 35 years running his own pest control business. Eventually, cancer from the chemicals he used to support a family would take him. It was pretty awful in the end.
My other grandfather stormed the beaches at Normandy and spent 40 years driving a truck. He ran a small ranch and did his own home maintenance until he dropped dead at 90.
i get paid a lot of money to get drunk with 26 year old girls at community events. I'd like to think that they would both be proud of me.
My other grandfather stormed the beaches at Normandy and spent 40 years driving a truck. He ran a small ranch and did his own home maintenance until he dropped dead at 90.
i get paid a lot of money to get drunk with 26 year old girls at community events. I'd like to think that they would both be proud of me.
Leeroy Jenkins
Footballguy
Promised whichever we didn't want to another cousin. My wife has 22 first cousins. Most of which are hot women.
Binky The Doormat
Footballguy
mr roboto
Footballguy
Binky The Doormat
Footballguy
The millennials aren't ready for the 60s and 70s traditional variety show. Why make us suffer through the corny vaudeville stuff we had to suffer through in order to get to some decent skits.
bentley
Footballguy
tommyboy
Footballguy
One grandfather was a marine at Iwo Jima , the other lead the LST assault on Salerno and was shot up pretty bad, but kept commanding. He won the Navy cross. When he died at 73, he still had shrapnel in his heart. The other grandpa, the marine, wouldn't even kill a fly or bee.
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
Grandpa was a captain in the navy. He ran the ordinance supply route through Brazil. He was "stationed" in a commandeered mansion complete with a full staff of servants. He won the navy cross and would never say why, he always said it was because the sec of the defense really liked him.
