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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (12 Viewers)

I'm sure I ##### about  this every 2 years but my polling place is smack dab in the middle of a retirement community.   The volunteers that work there are old enough to remember when women couldn't vote.  Every time I vote it takes like 3 extra minute for them just to mind my name on the roster.  I have to fight the urge to rip the binder out of Mrs.  Havacamp's hands and say "it's right there!  you've flipped by it 3 times!  why did you start at the G's? and why are you going from the Ps back to the Hs and then back to the Ns?  LLLLLLLLLLL luh luh luh HIJKLLLLLLLLL!"

And you can stuff your old jokes in your ballot boxes.

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
I'm sure I ##### about  this every 2 years but my polling place is smack dab in the middle of a retirement community.   The volunteers that work there are old enough to remember when women couldn't vote.  Every time I vote it takes like 3 extra minute for them just to mind my name on the roster.  I have to fight the urge to rip the binder out of Mrs.  Havacamp's hands and say "it's right there!  you've flipped by it 3 times!  why did you start at the G's? and why are you going from the Ps back to the Hs and then back to the Ns?  LLLLLLLLLLL luh luh luh HIJKLLLLLLLLL!"

And you can stuff your old jokes in your ballot boxes.
Click to expand...
Can't.  Too flaccid at that age.

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
I'm sure I ##### about  this every 2 years but my polling place is smack dab in the middle of a retirement community.   The volunteers that work there are old enough to remember when women couldn't vote.  Every time I vote it takes like 3 extra minute for them just to mind my name on the roster.  I have to fight the urge to rip the binder out of Mrs.  Havacamp's hands and say "it's right there!  you've flipped by it 3 times!  why did you start at the G's? and why are you going from the Ps back to the Hs and then back to the Ns?  LLLLLLLLLLL luh luh luh HIJKLLLLLLLLL!"

And you can stuff your old jokes in your ballot boxes.
Click to expand...
mail in ballot.  duh

i fill mine out and hand deliver it so i can get my sticker. :D   takes all of 15 seconds

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
I'm sure I ##### about  this every 2 years but my polling place is smack dab in the middle of a retirement community.   The volunteers that work there are old enough to remember when women couldn't vote.  Every time I vote it takes like 3 extra minute for them just to mind my name on the roster.  I have to fight the urge to rip the binder out of Mrs.  Havacamp's hands and say "it's right there!  you've flipped by it 3 times!  why did you start at the G's? and why are you going from the Ps back to the Hs and then back to the Ns?  LLLLLLLLLLL luh luh luh HIJKLLLLLLLLL!"

And you can stuff your old jokes in your ballot boxes.
Click to expand...
When I was your age, I could do this in half the time

:shakesfist:

 
Henry Ford said:
A good friend of mine is in a rec league basketball tournament.  One of the teams he's up against is called "The Chupacabras." I know it's a mythical beast and all, but I'm not sure calling yourselves "The Goat Suckers" really strikes the chord they wanted to strike.
Click to expand...
its no myth 

 
Of course it's my fault she laid her eggs on an old pile of lumber, under my deck, 4 ft off the ground. Every time we are in the back yard she chirps at us and dive bombs us. The kids, the dog, me trying to enjoy my beer on the deck...

I have a legit forest right behind my back yard. She chooses to build a nest under my deck, in full view and reach of any predator larger than a chicken, with thousands of trees available taller than 20 ft, less than 100 ft away. Women birds are ####### stupid. 

 
mr roboto said:
Of course it's my fault she laid her eggs on an old pile of lumber, under my deck, 4 ft off the ground. Every time we are in the back yard she chirps at us and dive bombs us. The kids, the dog, me trying to enjoy my beer on the deck...

I have a legit forest right behind my back yard. She chooses to build a nest under my deck, in full view and reach of any predator larger than a chicken, with thousands of trees available taller than 20 ft, less than 100 ft away. Women birds are ####### stupid. 




 
Click to expand...
Neidermeyer dead!

Bird ...dead!

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
I'm sure I ##### about  this every 2 years but my polling place is smack dab in the middle of a retirement community.   The volunteers that work there are old enough to remember when women couldn't vote.  Every time I vote it takes like 3 extra minute for them just to mind my name on the roster.  I have to fight the urge to rip the binder out of Mrs.  Havacamp's hands and say "it's right there!  you've flipped by it 3 times!  why did you start at the G's? and why are you going from the Ps back to the Hs and then back to the Ns?  LLLLLLLLLLL luh luh luh HIJKLLLLLLLLL!"

And you can stuff your old jokes in your ballot boxes.
Click to expand...
http://youtu.be/LreAzeCkzbw?t=80

 
mr roboto said:
Of course it's my fault she laid her eggs on an old pile of lumber, under my deck, 4 ft off the ground. Every time we are in the back yard she chirps at us and dive bombs us. The kids, the dog, me trying to enjoy my beer on the deck...

I have a legit forest right behind my back yard. She chooses to build a nest under my deck, in full view and reach of any predator larger than a chicken, with thousands of trees available taller than 20 ft, less than 100 ft away. Women birds are ####### stupid. 
Click to expand...
Shoot it

 
Some good news (that we can all use)...

I'm teaching a world history class at my alma mater (our lady of eyetalian farmers).  When I talked to my buddy that runs it I was told I'd have about 25 students.  Turns out I have 33 (no biggie for me).   But my original quoted stipend was for 25 kids.  Got my official stipend contract today.  The amount is now close to 30% more.   #chetmoney

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Some good news (that we can all use)...

I'm teaching a world history class at my alma mater (our lady of eyetalian farmers).  When I talked to my buddy that runs it I was told I'd have about 25 students.  Turns out I have 33 (no biggie for me).   But my original quoted stipend was for 25 kids.  Got my official stipend contract today.  The amount is now close to 30% more.   #chetmoney
Click to expand...
Well, you have 32% more students, so....

 
Just heard a joke today that made me laugh.  It may be old already, but in case it's new for anyone, I'll share in case anyone enjoys:

What do you call a snarky criminal going down some stairs?

A condescending con descending
 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Some good news (that we can all use)...

I'm teaching a world history class at my alma mater (our lady of eyetalian farmers).  When I talked to my buddy that runs it I was told I'd have about 25 students.  Turns out I have 33 (no biggie for me).   But my original quoted stipend was for 25 kids.  Got my official stipend contract today.  The amount is now close to 30% more.   #chetmoney
Click to expand...
Wait, you're telling me that 33 is close to 30% more than 25???  GTFO.

 
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