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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (12 Viewers)

Apparently if you buy one you attract 7.5's in bikinis and you become a dillhole, but it would make a sweet get-a-way vehicle if you are planning a heist somewhere with roads, sand dunes, and water. 

 
Limp Ditka said:
Are you taking a 'its not my fault! Its not like I gave it the cookies! It stole the damn things!' stance here.
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No ####.  Bad Dog!

I'd say they owe you for the cookies, not that you owe them payment for the vet bill. I mean who lets their dog snarfle through a guest's luggage?  It's this type of lack of discipline that ends up with the dog running into the living room chewing on your wife's travel vibrator or dildo when she is visiting her folks and causes Great Grandma Mildred to get the vapors and to need her smelling salts as she watches the dog go shark on the sex toy..

 
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Limp Ditka said:
Are you taking a 'its not my fault! Its not like I gave it the cookies! It stole the damn things!' stance here.
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No.  They won't let me pay, but when I get home I'm sending them a check with an apology letter. I have to sell some stocks first, but this is all my fault and I need to own it.

Made for one hell of a story at the bachelor party last night.  Most of the guys are bummed they didnt get a cookie.  Cemented myself as the jackass of the family, as if that legacy weren't already in place.

 
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Ditkaless Wonders said:
No ####.  Bad Dog!

I'd say they owe you for the cookies, not that you owe them payment for the vet bill. I mean who lets their dog snarfle through a guest's luggage?  It's this type of lack of discipline that ends up with the dog running into the living room chewing on your wife's travel vibrator or dildo when she is visiting her folks and causes Great Grandma Mildred to get the vapors and to need her smelling salts as she watches the dog go shark on the sex toy..
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This sounds eerily like a true story...

:oldunsure:

 
During the next two days of their visit every time my kid brother's wife would be in the same room as the dog the dog would run up to her, bury her nose in my SIL's crotch and start growling.  Behavior not exhibited before or since.  Sometimes after, when with my brother and SIL, but with her out of earshot but my brother close by I imitate that growling, snarfling noise.  Sometimes I get hit in the shoulder, sometimes not.

 
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General Malaise said:
No.  They won't let me pay, but when I get home I'm sending them a check with an apology letter. I have to sell some stocks first, but this is all my fault and I need to own it.

Made for one hell of a story at the bachelor party last night.  Most of the guys are bummed they didnt get a cookie.  Cemented myself as the jackass of the family, as if that legacy weren't already in place.
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You're a good guy.

not only would I not send them a check, I'd send them a bill for the weed I'd lost.

 
bostonfred said:
Wtf do they even do for a super stoned dog?  Play floyd in a dark room and pet him?  #### I'd do that for one magic brownie.
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Speaking with a bit of experience here: If the dog is allergic, he's probably going to die within hour and the chances of an allergic reaction are minimal. Since that hour window is passed, or will be by the time you get a vet to check him out, he's only going to get massively stoned, stagger around and sleep like he's been heavily sedated. Sure, he may get a little dehydrated and have very limited responses, making it appear dire.And a saline drip would probably be mildly beneficial, but only marginally so.  Acute monitoring is silly and a waste of money/resources. I learned this from my pharmacist and vet over the course of being twice victimized by the Malaise largess.

 
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I'm at a Dr Who themed wedding in Montreal tonight.  I don't know anything about dr who but the best man apparently knows a guy who knows a guy and was able to get the current Dr Who to recorder a video message - in character - for the happy couple.  It was awesome if only because it made everyone immediately forget the annoying 15 minute this-is-me-talking-about-myself-not-a-toast the maid of honor had just given. 

 
At my bil wedding, the best man said something like "it's too bad you got stuck in this situation" among other really drunk things.

 
 Just throwing this out there, but maybe those of you that consume edibles and have pets and/or small kids around should put those edibles into containers that pets and kids absolutely can't get into.

Not saying that to make anyone feel bad, but better a wakeup call regarding a dog than the nightmare of a toddling twin in the hospital.

 
shuke said:
Wait, twice? :lmao:
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I think he got hooked on the first dose. And upon reflection, only the original dose was from GM, the other was from a different, well-meaning FBG. I've had weed around the house since his birth and he pays it no mind, but mix it up in some brownies and he's out of control.

 
cosjobs said:
I think he got hooked on the first dose. And upon reflection, only the original dose was from GM, the other was from a different, well-meaning FBG. I've had weed around the house since his birth and he pays it no mind, but mix it up in some brownies and he's out of control.
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The weed addiction didn't come from me, but he may have gotten alcohol poisoning from when he bit me. Actually, "bit" is too strong a word; I woke up and he was just kind of nibbling on my hand as if it were a Dorito chip he wanted to savor for a while.

And - please don't take offense, cos; I love you - the Meat Purse Mystery still makes me chuckle. 

 
Birthday party went well today.  Our prep was making sure the beer fridge was full and we had plenty of bottles of wine.  Plus cupcakes.  Adults got drunk.  Kids played.  Everybody wins.

 
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