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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (18 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
Sconch
Footballguy
"Looks like there's a big, white dildo on the field...and I don't mean Clay Matthews"
mr. furley
Footballguy
mr. furley
Footballguy
Sconch
Footballguy
mr. furley
Footballguy
did Erin Andrews just drop a Do The Right Thing reference?
mr. furley
Footballguy
as much as commercial repetition during NFL games is horrific, i'm enjoying this Southwest commercial for a few reasons 
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
fish,
there are a surprising lack of 22 y/o pics on my phone for my wife to question me about.
there are a surprising lack of 22 y/o pics on my phone for my wife to question me about.
mr. furley
Footballguy
tommyboy
Footballguy
heckmanm
Footballguy
mr. furley
Footballguy
every good hero should have someMy office allows costumes on today; just saw one of the guys from Facilities sporting a big 'fro with the theme from Shaft playing on his phone.
Eta:
jplvr
Footballguy
You mean a guy heavily involved with investing in pennies might not have a firm grasp on logic?
jplvr
Footballguy
I couldn't sit through a Tim Tebow, Heisman house commercial, even after seeing Lilly in the preview.
RedmondLonghorn
Footballguy
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
What's all this now?
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
Sweet J
Footballguy
Ok, mistakes were made today:
First mistake: coming to work dressed as Lebowski for halloween. Actually, that wasn't the mistake. The mistake was that it seemed that the costume wouldn't be complete without the white russians. So I made a huge thermos-full of white russians for . . . god, I don't know what for. But I couldn't be the Dude without drinks, could I? So I guess the first mistake was bringing a thermosfull of White Russian mix to work. Because there is NO WAY I could end up just letting that thermos sit idle all day just . . . looking at me.
So I have been taking nips throughout the day. Half a glass here, two thirds of a glass there, a full glass hither and dither. I've come to the realization that a whole bunch of "just a small sips" can actually do some damage. F^ck me. I don't know how I'm going to make it to trick or treating tonight at 6:00 with the kids. Unless I, you know, keep drinking.
First mistake: coming to work dressed as Lebowski for halloween. Actually, that wasn't the mistake. The mistake was that it seemed that the costume wouldn't be complete without the white russians. So I made a huge thermos-full of white russians for . . . god, I don't know what for. But I couldn't be the Dude without drinks, could I? So I guess the first mistake was bringing a thermosfull of White Russian mix to work. Because there is NO WAY I could end up just letting that thermos sit idle all day just . . . looking at me.
So I have been taking nips throughout the day. Half a glass here, two thirds of a glass there, a full glass hither and dither. I've come to the realization that a whole bunch of "just a small sips" can actually do some damage. F^ck me. I don't know how I'm going to make it to trick or treating tonight at 6:00 with the kids. Unless I, you know, keep drinking.
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
you can do it sweet j. keep drinking, you''ll make it
arrow1
Footballguy
heckmanm
Footballguy
I hope you have occasion to yell "Careful, man, there's a beverage here!" at your boss (or perhaps at a costumed child) at some point.
Pretty sure being daydrunk really ties the Lebowski costume together, man
5-ish Finkle
Footballguy
"Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man."
Last edited by a moderator:
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
Not only did the alcohol complement your costume, but it seems to have enhanced your problem solving skills.
Sweet J
Footballguy
Well, I did hedge a little bit. Brought the costume in a duffel bag until I saw that other people were dressed up (various Halloween activities going on in building) and made a change. And really, "costume" is pushing it. We are talking bathrobe, ugly pajama pants, and sunglasses with a goatee and wig. It's wasted anyway, as I'm sitting in my office all alone, except for the one admin assistant who comes in from time to time to hit on me (you don't want pics).
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Considering driving to Colorado and move in with @Homer J Simpson Let me know if you want me to swing by and pick you up, GB.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Alright, story time and I'll do you the favor of telling you right now it's probably not that interesting and it's going to be longer than it needs to be but it has caused a bit of a WWJhD for me.
August 12 and I'm in the outskirts of Detroit with my family for the wedding of my wife's younger brother, who is also a great friend of mine and a cool guy. He has a bachelor party on the 12th, nothing fancy, just close friends and family at the Rochester Tap Room where we've rented out the upstairs room. No strippers, no strip clubs no debauchery, but at this stage of life, that suits me just fine. All told I'd say there were 30 people up there including Mikey G, who is the husband of my wife's cousin Emily. Mikey G is pictured here in the blue suit. His beautiful wife Emily is to his right. I'm not sure who the dildo is to his left.
We're at he bachelor party and I'm making the rounds, saying hi to everybody and enjoying myself. Mikey G is nursing his usual concoction of Petron with lime and he smells like he's had more than a few. He's a big Mich. State guy and over the years, we've given each other some good natured ribbing over the Ducks/Spartan games and college football in general. He knows I like to gamble and we've wagered on a few things over the years including the sex of his first baby, which I called correctly for $100 win. He paid me $80 in cash off that 6 months after the birth, so I should have seen what's in front of me right now.
When the Ducks beat the Spartans in Eugene in 2014 it was a fun, competitive game that I watched live. When it was over, I texted him "Good game, great effort, I thought MSU had Oregon beat, but we pulled it out." He texted back "You lucky ####s".
A year later, when MSU beat Oregon, he texted me "PAYBACK #####!". Not very nice sportsmanship, so again, I shouldn't be surprised by what has unfolded between us.
So we're having a good time at the bachelor party, Mikey G leans into me and says "I know you're a degenerate gambler, stop betting with your shady off-shore book in Antigua and bet with me. I want your money, keep it in the family". And I laughed and said "I might be a degenerate, but I'm not about to take your money". He pressed and prodded and at some point during the night when I was eating, he called me "fat", which, yeah, I am but c'mon, that's not nice. So after taking his crap that night, I decided to take him up on his bookmaking offer, which again, he dropped in my lap and goaded me into doing.
When I got back to Oregon, I sent Mikey G a text and told him I'd take him up on his offer, but we needed some ground rules. First rule was if either of us got to $250 in either direction, we'd settle up through PayPal. That way we'd keep it relatively friendly and nobody would go broke. Second rules was we'd keep it to around $25-$50 max unless either of us agreed to go more. Third rule was we keep it quiet. In fact, he told me that if his wife found out, she'd divorce him. Turns out Mikey G was booking bets in college and later in life and his wife told him to knock it off or he was done. When I heard that, I said "Dude, forget it. This isn't worth it. I have other options, no need to risk your marriage over something silly like this". He insisted and said he had plenty of 'client's already, I was just a rounding error for him with my little wagers. Again, always quick with the insult.
I start wagering and as I often do, I ebb and flow. I owe him $100, he owes me $100, you know how the pendulum swings in sports betting. I think he thought I was a total mess of a gambler, which is true, but I also have some pretty good runs. And a pretty good run I had over the last two weeks. Finally, after the Blazers beat Utah on opening night, I pinned Mikey G back to $250 and sent him a text with my PayPal account, per our original agreement. Pay me the $250, let's start fresh, I'm bound to give it back. Mikey G texts back to me "www.suckit.com".
I decide I'm not making any more wagers until I get paid. No need to give it all back. I send Mikey G another note, asking about payment. Crickets. This is a guy who got back to me right away every time I made a wager to confirm. I mean, seconds after sending a text, I get a note back. Now? Nothing. Another note yesterday "Dude, come on....where's my $250? If you can't pay it, that's fine, but just get back to me". Nothing back.
Now, all along, I've insisted that Mikey G is a phony. He's a big talker, loves to give off the appearance of being a wise guy but when push comes to shove, the emperor has no clothes, even if he wears bright blue suits. Forget about the $250, that's not going to change my life. But where I'm from, when a person makes a wager, that wager needs to be paid no matter what. A wager is an extension of your word. I'm about two whiskeys away from spilling the beans on this phony to my in-laws, who are in town until tomorrow. They won't run back and tell his wife and they already think he's a royal dooooooooosh, but I think it's fair game to let them know about this. I've given him every opportunity to discuss this matter and he won't. Being a rat is bad; being a bet whelcher is the worst.
Tl;DR Mikey G owes me $250 but I'd drop it if I could sleep with his hot wife.
August 12 and I'm in the outskirts of Detroit with my family for the wedding of my wife's younger brother, who is also a great friend of mine and a cool guy. He has a bachelor party on the 12th, nothing fancy, just close friends and family at the Rochester Tap Room where we've rented out the upstairs room. No strippers, no strip clubs no debauchery, but at this stage of life, that suits me just fine. All told I'd say there were 30 people up there including Mikey G, who is the husband of my wife's cousin Emily. Mikey G is pictured here in the blue suit. His beautiful wife Emily is to his right. I'm not sure who the dildo is to his left.
We're at he bachelor party and I'm making the rounds, saying hi to everybody and enjoying myself. Mikey G is nursing his usual concoction of Petron with lime and he smells like he's had more than a few. He's a big Mich. State guy and over the years, we've given each other some good natured ribbing over the Ducks/Spartan games and college football in general. He knows I like to gamble and we've wagered on a few things over the years including the sex of his first baby, which I called correctly for $100 win. He paid me $80 in cash off that 6 months after the birth, so I should have seen what's in front of me right now.
When the Ducks beat the Spartans in Eugene in 2014 it was a fun, competitive game that I watched live. When it was over, I texted him "Good game, great effort, I thought MSU had Oregon beat, but we pulled it out." He texted back "You lucky ####s".
A year later, when MSU beat Oregon, he texted me "PAYBACK #####!". Not very nice sportsmanship, so again, I shouldn't be surprised by what has unfolded between us.So we're having a good time at the bachelor party, Mikey G leans into me and says "I know you're a degenerate gambler, stop betting with your shady off-shore book in Antigua and bet with me. I want your money, keep it in the family". And I laughed and said "I might be a degenerate, but I'm not about to take your money". He pressed and prodded and at some point during the night when I was eating, he called me "fat", which, yeah, I am but c'mon, that's not nice. So after taking his crap that night, I decided to take him up on his bookmaking offer, which again, he dropped in my lap and goaded me into doing.
When I got back to Oregon, I sent Mikey G a text and told him I'd take him up on his offer, but we needed some ground rules. First rule was if either of us got to $250 in either direction, we'd settle up through PayPal. That way we'd keep it relatively friendly and nobody would go broke. Second rules was we'd keep it to around $25-$50 max unless either of us agreed to go more. Third rule was we keep it quiet. In fact, he told me that if his wife found out, she'd divorce him. Turns out Mikey G was booking bets in college and later in life and his wife told him to knock it off or he was done. When I heard that, I said "Dude, forget it. This isn't worth it. I have other options, no need to risk your marriage over something silly like this". He insisted and said he had plenty of 'client's already, I was just a rounding error for him with my little wagers. Again, always quick with the insult.
I start wagering and as I often do, I ebb and flow. I owe him $100, he owes me $100, you know how the pendulum swings in sports betting. I think he thought I was a total mess of a gambler, which is true, but I also have some pretty good runs. And a pretty good run I had over the last two weeks. Finally, after the Blazers beat Utah on opening night, I pinned Mikey G back to $250 and sent him a text with my PayPal account, per our original agreement. Pay me the $250, let's start fresh, I'm bound to give it back. Mikey G texts back to me "www.suckit.com".
I decide I'm not making any more wagers until I get paid. No need to give it all back. I send Mikey G another note, asking about payment. Crickets. This is a guy who got back to me right away every time I made a wager to confirm. I mean, seconds after sending a text, I get a note back. Now? Nothing. Another note yesterday "Dude, come on....where's my $250? If you can't pay it, that's fine, but just get back to me". Nothing back.
Now, all along, I've insisted that Mikey G is a phony. He's a big talker, loves to give off the appearance of being a wise guy but when push comes to shove, the emperor has no clothes, even if he wears bright blue suits. Forget about the $250, that's not going to change my life. But where I'm from, when a person makes a wager, that wager needs to be paid no matter what. A wager is an extension of your word. I'm about two whiskeys away from spilling the beans on this phony to my in-laws, who are in town until tomorrow. They won't run back and tell his wife and they already think he's a royal dooooooooosh, but I think it's fair game to let them know about this. I've given him every opportunity to discuss this matter and he won't. Being a rat is bad; being a bet whelcher is the worst.
Tl;DR Mikey G owes me $250 but I'd drop it if I could sleep with his hot wife.
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
Sparty fan and deadbeat gambler? Sounds like a job for Lambskin.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Alright, story time and I'll do you the favor of telling you right now it's probably not that interesting and it's going to be longer than it needs to be but it has caused a bit of a WWJhD for me.
August 12 and I'm in the outskirts of Detroit with my family for the wedding of my wife's younger brother, who is also a great friend of mine and a cool guy. He has a bachelor party on the 12th, nothing fancy, just close friends and family at the Rochester Tap Room where we've rented out the upstairs room. No strippers, no strip clubs no debauchery, but at this stage of life, that suits me just fine. All told I'd say there were 30 people up there including Mikey G, who is the husband of my wife's cousin Emily. Mikey G is pictured here in the blue suit. His beautiful wife Emily is to his right. I'm not sure who the dildo is to his left.
We're at he bachelor party and I'm making the rounds, saying hi to everybody and enjoying myself. Mikey G is nursing his usual concoction of Petron with lime and he smells like he's had more than a few. He's a big Mich. State guy and over the years, we've given each other some good natured ribbing over the Ducks/Spartan games and college football in general. He knows I like to gamble and we've wagered on a few things over the years including the sex of his first baby, which I called correctly for $100 win. He paid me $80 in cash off that 6 months after the birth, so I should have seen what's in front of me right now.
When the Ducks beat the Spartans in Eugene in 2014 it was a fun, competitive game that I watched live. When it was over, I texted him "Good game, great effort, I thought MSU had Oregon beat, but we pulled it out." He texted back "You lucky ####s".
So we're having a good time at the bachelor party, Mikey G leans into me and says "I know you're a degenerate gambler, stop betting with your shady off-shore book in Antigua and bet with me. I want your money, keep it in the family". And I laughed and said "I might be a degenerate, but I'm not about to take your money". He pressed and prodded and at some point during the night when I was eating, he called me "fat", which, yeah, I am but c'mon, that's not nice. So after taking his crap that night, I decided to take him up on his bookmaking offer, which again, he dropped in my lap and goaded me into doing.
When I got back to Oregon, I sent Mikey G a text and told him I'd take him up on his offer, but we needed some ground rules. First rule was if either of us got to $250 in either direction, we'd settle up through PayPal. That way we'd keep it relatively friendly and nobody would go broke. Second rules was we'd keep it to around $25-$50 max unless either of us agreed to go more. Third rule was we keep it quiet. In fact, he told me that if his wife found out, she'd divorce him. Turns out Mikey G was booking bets in college and later in life and his wife told him to knock it off or he was done. When I heard that, I said "Dude, forget it. This isn't worth it. I have other options, no need to risk your marriage over something silly like this". He insisted and said he had plenty of 'client's already, I was just a rounding error for him with my little wagers. Again, always quick with the insult.
I start wagering and as I often do, I ebb and flow. I owe him $100, he owes me $100, you know how the pendulum swings in sports betting. I think he thought I was a total mess of a gambler, which is true, but I also have some pretty good runs. And a pretty good run I had over the last two weeks. Finally, after the Blazers beat Utah on opening night, I pinned Mikey G back to $250 and sent him a text with my PayPal account, per our original agreement. Pay me the $250, let's start fresh, I'm bound to give it back. Mikey G texts back to me "www.suckit.com".
I decide I'm not making any more wagers until I get paid. No need to give it all back. I send Mikey G another note, asking about payment. Crickets. This is a guy who got back to me right away every time I made a wager to confirm. I mean, seconds after sending a text, I get a note back. Now? Nothing. Another note yesterday "Dude, come on....where's my $250? If you can't pay it, that's fine, but just get back to me". Nothing back.
Now, all along, I've insisted that Mikey G is a phony. He's a big talker, loves to give off the appearance of being a wise guy but when push comes to shove, the emperor has no clothes, even if he wears bright blue suits. Forget about the $250, that's not going to change my life. But where I'm from, when a person makes a wager, that wager needs to be paid no matter what. A wager is an extension of your word. I'm about two whiskeys away from spilling the beans on this phony to my in-laws, who are in town until tomorrow. They won't run back and tell his wife and they already think he's a royal dooooooooosh, but I think it's fair game to let them know about this. I've given him every opportunity to discuss this matter and he won't. Being a rat is bad; being a bet whelcher is the worst.
Tl;DR Mikey G owes me $250 but I'd drop it if I could sleep with his hot wife.
Need help GB?
Sweet J
Footballguy
My take: He'll pay, but you are right he's probably a phony, which means he has to figure out a way to pay without letting his wife know. Which is probably going to be difficult for him even though he wants to play it off. So give him time to scratch it together, f^ucking $20 at a time like a true degenerate, until he's got enough to send you without sending up warning flares to the wife.
It's insane, but I'd play along. Plus you have the added benefit of him having to sweat EVERY time he sees you or talks to you until he's paid.
No need to bring out nukes just yet.
It's insane, but I'd play along. Plus you have the added benefit of him having to sweat EVERY time he sees you or talks to you until he's paid.
No need to bring out nukes just yet.
Sconch
Footballguy
Binky The Doormat
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
