Anyway, y'all need to provide some content. I"ll be waiting over here, between the hours of 12-4.
No birds will be buried, no ovens will be naaned and it is quite possible you will be left with the same sense of disappointment as my wife after spending two minutes with me. With that said I will heed to your plea for some content and at great peril I will interrupt the great Mayo Debate of 2018.
TLDR:Florida lives up to its reputation
I just spent an awesome, relaxing week on the beach in Florida. A great time to unwind with a cooler of beer, sun and a fishing pole. But there were a couple of incidents that occurred within minutes of each other that cracked me up.
I had been on the beach for most of the day and it was nearing 6:00 and my cooler was about empty. This may or may not have contributed to my amusement but I will let you be the judge.
I’m kicked back with the sun at my back and coming up the beach I see a little kid probably 4 years old on one of those harness/dog leash restraints. The poor kid didn’t have much more than 4-5 feet of rope to work with so virtually everything that would interest a kid at the beach was out of reach. I will give him credit because the kid had some spunk and despite the odds he fought bravely to achieve freedom and dip a toe in the beckoning Atlantic. Unfortunately his Momma was not a slight woman and one glance at her red face and the beads of sweat rolling over the faint mustache portrayed a woman with equal determination to keep junior from enjoying an ounce of freedom. I shook my head at juniors fate as they slowly moved down the beach.
As I was trying to wrap my head around what I just witnessed another boy and his Mom made their way onto the sand and approached the ocean. The boy was about 12 years olds in cut off shorts and sleeveless t-shirt Perhaps I would have taken the time to remember the Mom’s attire and possibly rate her on the offdee scale if the young lad didn’t proudly exclaim as he gazed at the ocean “ Look Momma the ocean shrunk.” As Momma gazed at the distant horizon and her son’s brilliance danced thru her mind she smiled and replied “It sure did.”
I quickly deducted this was at least their second trip to the ocean with their first being at high tide. No doubt many a scientist was spurred to greatness by observing the world around them. I would have loved to spend some time contemplating what scientific breakthrough was in his future but I was interrupted by a commotion on the beach.
There were muffled shouts down the beach and I strained to see what was happening. I don’t know if Junior finally broke free from the tyrant’s hands or if in a moment of weakness Momma granted him some freedom. If it was latter it was apparent she was regretting her decision.
Junior was barreling down the beach splashing in the tide with a wide smile on his face. Lumbering behind was Momma desperately trying to narrow the gap so she could grab the trailing leash. Every time Junior slowed to examine a shell or dodge a fellow beachgoer, Momma would put it in overdrive. Junior had a sixth-sense or could possibly feel the vibrations in the sand because just as Momma was getting close he would quickly widen the gap and Momma would slow her gait to conserve energy for the next attempt. Luckily for my entertainment this played out several times as they approached me.
As Junior rambled past I never contemplated ending his freedom nor did I exchange pleasantries with Momma. In hindsight this was quite rude because her red-face and sweat stained t-shirt suggested someone desperately in need of a beer.
My fishing pole doubled over shortly after she passed and by the time I landed a hefty snook they were nowhere to be seen. I’m sure the reunion was filled with tears, joyful hugs and a death grip on the sandy leash.
But I rest easy today knowing America is in good hands with future scientists and track stars roaming our shores.