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Going to a viewing or funeral for a co-worker's family member (1 Viewer)

Would you attend a funeral for a family member (who you never met) of a co-worker?

  • Yes

    Votes: 20 44.4%

  • No

    Votes: 25 55.6%
  • Total voters
    45
Henry Ford

Henry Ford

Footballguy
Would you attend a viewing or funeral for a family member (who you never met) of a co-worker?

 
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my father passed away last summer. i was greatly blessed by every one of my friends (in whatever context - work, church, college, hometown, etc) who came to his funeral service.

 
McJose said:
It depends on the coworker and the relative. 
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Very nice older woman in the office who thinks you're a friend but you really don't know at all except for all the talking she does about her life to you while you desperately try to extricate yourself from the conversation.

Her 90-ish-year old mother.  

 
Henry Ford said:
Very nice older woman in the office who thinks you're a friend but you really don't know at all except for all the talking she does about her life to you while you desperately try to extricate yourself from the conversation.

Her 90-ish-year old mother.  
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I'd go to this one.

ETA: To the viewing.  A five minute stop to express condolences and be on your way.

 
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Henry Ford said:
Very nice older woman in the office who thinks you're a friend but you really don't know at all except for all the talking she does about her life to you while you desperately try to extricate yourself from the conversation.

Her 90-ish-year old mother.  
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Her mother?  No.

 
I'm kind of known at the office as the guy who will literally do anything for his co-workers except engage in conversation about feelings or have any kind of physical contact.  I don't think it will be a surprise.

 
Henry Ford said:
I'm kind of known at the office as the guy who will literally do anything for his co-workers except engage in conversation about feelings or have any kind of physical contact.  I don't think it will be a surprise.
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So go to the funeral, don't touch anybody, and stare at your phone the entire time.

 
RnR said:
I'd go to this one.

ETA: To the viewing.  A five minute stop to express condolences and be on your way.
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This is the right answer. You barely have to be there. Sign the book, a quick word with the coworker, and you are on your way.

I have had my mom, stepdad, and grandfather all pass in the last couple of years, and while the funerals were blurs of emotions, the viewings were much more memorable, and I was very touched by those that came, especially those I didn't expect.

 
Henry Ford said:
Would you attend a viewing or funeral for a family member (who you never met) of a co-worker?
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If it comforted the living.

BTW, it would not comfort me were I the family member of the deceased, but I am a bit of a sociopath.  I do not necessarily experience emotions the same way as would a woman in her 50's or 60's.

 
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Henry Ford said:
Very nice older woman in the office who thinks you're a friend but you really don't know at all except for all the talking she does about her life to you while you desperately try to extricate yourself from the conversation.

Her 90-ish-year old mother.  
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Probably would mean a lot to her. 

 
I hate funerals/viewings as well.  Voted no but might go in some cases if it was a co-worker I was close with...probably a handful in an office of 50+ I'd consider going for

 
Henry Ford said:
I'm kind of known at the office as the guy who will literally do anything for his co-workers except engage in conversation about feelings or have any kind of physical contact.  I don't think it will be a surprise.
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Well yeah, you're a lawyer right?   :pokey:

 
Most folks really appreciate every person who came to a wake, even if they stayed five minutes. Whether you knew the deceased is irrelevant[SIZE=14.6667px].[/SIZE]

I wouldn't drive an hour for this particular one, but if it's in town, you should go. The fact that you're even asking says you know you should go.

And you people that "hate" these things - I have news for you: Nobody really likes them, or the inconvenience they bring.  

 
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jwb said:
Most folks really appreciate every person who came to a wake, even if they stayed five minutes. Whether you knew the deceased is irreverent. 

I wouldn't drive an hour for this particular one, but if it's in town, you should go. The fact that you're even asking says you know you should go.

And you people that "hate" these things - I have news for you: Nobody really likes them, or the inconvenience they bring.  
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Of course.  I'm not saying anyone loves them.

 
Funeral- no

Viewing- maybe

My father died last week. None of my co-workers showed up to the viewing. I do not see any of them outside of work and none knew my father, so there is that.

 
Just found out her husband isn't going. 

I think I'm either off the hook or more of a jerk now. Can't decide.

 
Henry Ford said:
I'm kind of known at the office as the guy who will literally do anything for his co-workers except engage in conversation about feelings or have any kind of physical contact.  I don't think it will be a surprise.
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Not sure why but this struck me as funny.  "I'll do anything, except for this long list of important things."

In answer to your actual question, if I feel like the co-worker is more than merely a co-worker, or if I feel like my presence would actually help the co-worker (pretty unlikely), I go.  Otherwise no.

 
Thorn said:
Not sure why but this struck me as funny.  "I'll do anything, except for this long list of important things."

In answer to your actual question, if I feel like the co-worker is more than merely a co-worker, or if I feel like my presence would actually help the co-worker (pretty unlikely), I go.  Otherwise no.
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I'll hide a body and help get passage to a non-extradition country for my co-workers, I just don't get touchy-feely.

 
Henry Ford said:
I'll hide a body and help get passage to a non-extradition country for my co-workers, I just don't get touchy-feely.
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"I'll do things that are almost certainly never going to happen, but I won't do things that happen all the time and are appreciated by little old ladies."

 
Henry Ford said:
Would you attend a viewing or funeral for a family member (who you never met) of a co-worker?
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I have, two years ago.   The owner was going through Chemo and the grandfather of one of our designers passed.   I went to represent the company.  Surprising the people I thought the employee was really close with here did not attend.   She is a valued employee too.   One of our best.

 
Thorn said:
"I'll do things that are almost certainly never going to happen, but I won't do things that happen all the time and are appreciated by little old ladies."
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Alright, better example.  Two months ago, this same woman had an elderly family member who lives a two and a half hour drive away who was going in for surgery and needed a will and a limited DNR, and gave this woman less than 24 hours' notice that she would like these things.  On a Saturday, I drove five hours round trip, drafted both of them, made necessary revisions and re-printed at a local Fedex/Kinko's, got them signed and notarized and witnessed in a hospital, and put everything in order with the hospital before the surgery.

I'm just saying, I'm bad at really personal interactions.

 
If I like the coworker then I'd go to the viewing for support. Funeral in this case is for people closer to the fam, imo.

 
The hard part was they didn't have a viewing, only a service.   Took the family about an hour to get there after the grave site(family only at the gravesite).  Then a reception at their home after.   The grandfather was the ex president of a bank, so many people at their home.   So it can get pretty uncomfortable waiting to see the employee to give your condolences when you don't know anyone else.  Idle chit chat is not my thing.

 
In this situation I would much rather attend a funeral than a viewing.  A viewing you need to talk to the family and the awkward moment of sorry, how you holding up, anything I can do, etc.  Funeral I can sign the guest book and sit in the back. 

 
Johnny Bing said:
In this situation I would much rather attend a funeral than a viewing.  A viewing you need to talk to the family and the awkward moment of sorry, how you holding up, anything I can do, etc.  Funeral I can sign the guest book and sit in the back. 
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Both my parents are deceased and I never looked at a guest book or card.

 
FatUncleJerryBuss said:
Both my parents are deceased and I never looked at a guest book or card.
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I doubt anyone does look at that, but that's when you sign the book and drop off the card. 

Staying with the topic, this isn't a close friend.  It is a co-worker where he doesn't really want to go.  That is how I handle it.  

 
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Johnny Bing said:
I doubt anyone does look at that, but that's when you sign the book and drop off the card. 

Staying with the topic, this isn't a close friend.  It is a co-worker where he doesn't really want to go.  That is how I handle it.  
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Weird. We do that at either

 
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