Great start to a great ####ing day..... (1 Viewer)

[Patriotsfatboy1]

I thought only women were this dumb.

Before my girlfriend became my wife, she borrowed my car, and managed to lock the keys in it while it was running. If memory serves, it was also raining.

Wait a minute. You knew this and you not only asked for her hand in marriage, but you went through with it?

If I could offer one piece of advice to the planet, it would be this: Don't marry for looks alone, and I'll tell you why. In a few years, when Barbara's boobs start sagging, she can get plastic surgery, have them lifted, move the nipple wherever. You can actually go to a titty bar, pick out a set of ####### and say, "I want those ####### on that woman." If her belly gets too big, she can get a tummy tuck and have a belly like a cheerleader. If her vision goes bad, you can have LASIK surgery and have 20/20 vision. If her hearing goes bad, they can install a device in her ear that will give you hearing as clear as it was the day you were born. But let me tell you something, folks: You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.

1) If you're going to give third-party marital advice, Ron White probably isn't your best source.

2) Six-foot blondes with spectacular asses have their own special place in marital consideration.

3) She's quite intelligent, just a bit of a ditz at times. Fortunately, she's got a great sense of humor about it.

I am speaking from experience. I say it far too often to the Mrs. My wife has a college degree and she graduated with honors. Maybe my youngest sucked not only the perkiness from her t!ts, but also the brains from her head.

 

[top dog]

I had a Ford Taurus that for whatever reason, I just kept locking my keys in that car. The buzzer stopped working to let you know your keys were still in the ignition and apparently I REALLY NEED THAT BUZZER. I probably locked the keys in that car at least 5 or 6 times. Got pretty good at using a coat hanger and a screw driver to open the door.

Few years ago during the superbowl I was at my buddy's house for the game. My youngest son called and told me to hurry up and come home! The TV that was mounted on the wall in the living room had come off the mount on one side and my wife was holding it but couldn't get that side back on. She was stuck holding it. Now I didn't want my nice LCD TV to go crashing on the ground.. Not living too far away I told my son to help mom with the TV and I would be right there. I raced outside to go home and sure enough... The keys are in the ignition and the door is locked. I told my buddy "GET ME A SCREWDRIVER AND A COAT HANGER!". He handed that to me and I started bending the hanger up. I asked him to get me a flashlight too as it was dark. Before he got back with the light, I had popped that door and was ready to go. In under 30 seconds. I was super proud of myself. The next day I was bragging to my oldest son how awesome I was at opening a locked car door. I told him to time me while I performed my magic. This time I couldn't even get the door open. Not in under 30 seconds.. NOT AT ALL. Proud moment as a father when I told him "eh... nevermind... When is your mother getting home?"

 

[VA703]

I had a Ford Taurus that for whatever reason, I just kept locking my keys in that car. The buzzer stopped working to let you know your keys were still in the ignition and apparently I REALLY NEED THAT BUZZER. I probably locked the keys in that car at least 5 or 6 times. Got pretty good at using a coat hanger and a screw driver to open the door.

Few years ago during the superbowl I was at my buddy's house for the game. My youngest son called and told me to hurry up and come home! The TV that was mounted on the wall in the living room had come off the mount on one side and my wife was holding it but couldn't get that side back on. She was stuck holding it. Now I didn't want my nice LCD TV to go crashing on the ground.. Not living too far away I told my son to help mom with the TV and I would be right there. I raced outside to go home and sure enough... The keys are in the ignition and the door is locked. I told my buddy "GET ME A SCREWDRIVER AND A COAT HANGER!". He handed that to me and I started bending the hanger up. I asked him to get me a flashlight too as it was dark. Before he got back with the light, I had popped that door and was ready to go. In under 30 seconds. I was super proud of myself. The next day I was bragging to my oldest son how awesome I was at opening a locked car door. I told him to time me while I performed my magic. This time I couldn't even get the door open. Not in under 30 seconds.. NOT AT ALL. Proud moment as a father when I told him "eh... nevermind... When is your mother getting home?"

why not just lock the car and keep the keys in your pocket?

 

[BigJohn]

So wait, where are your keys now? Locked in the car? You locked your keys in your car? At work?

This is a confusing point?

 

[Sarnoff]

I thought only women were this dumb.

Before my girlfriend became my wife, she borrowed my car, and managed to lock the keys in it while it was running. If memory serves, it was also raining.

Ive done this

And she left the convertible top down in the rain. Ruined the car.

 

[Sarnoff]

Am I the only one who keeps a single spare car door key tucked in his wallet?

 

[top dog]

I had a Ford Taurus that for whatever reason, I just kept locking my keys in that car. The buzzer stopped working to let you know your keys were still in the ignition and apparently I REALLY NEED THAT BUZZER. I probably locked the keys in that car at least 5 or 6 times. Got pretty good at using a coat hanger and a screw driver to open the door.

Few years ago during the superbowl I was at my buddy's house for the game. My youngest son called and told me to hurry up and come home! The TV that was mounted on the wall in the living room had come off the mount on one side and my wife was holding it but couldn't get that side back on. She was stuck holding it. Now I didn't want my nice LCD TV to go crashing on the ground.. Not living too far away I told my son to help mom with the TV and I would be right there. I raced outside to go home and sure enough... The keys are in the ignition and the door is locked. I told my buddy "GET ME A SCREWDRIVER AND A COAT HANGER!". He handed that to me and I started bending the hanger up. I asked him to get me a flashlight too as it was dark. Before he got back with the light, I had popped that door and was ready to go. In under 30 seconds. I was super proud of myself. The next day I was bragging to my oldest son how awesome I was at opening a locked car door. I told him to time me while I performed my magic. This time I couldn't even get the door open. Not in under 30 seconds.. NOT AT ALL. Proud moment as a father when I told him "eh... nevermind... When is your mother getting home?"

why not just lock the car and keep the keys in your pocket?

Apparently I was going for the dramatic effect.

 

[shadyridr]

I thought only women were this dumb.

Before my girlfriend became my wife, she borrowed my car, and managed to lock the keys in it while it was running. If memory serves, it was also raining.

Ive done this

And she left the convertible top down in the rain. Ruined the car.

 

[The Goat]

I thought only women were this dumb.

Before my girlfriend became my wife, she borrowed my car, and managed to lock the keys in it while it was running. If memory serves, it was also raining.

Wait a minute. You knew this and you not only asked for her hand in marriage, but you went through with it?

If I could offer one piece of advice to the planet, it would be this: Don't marry for looks alone, and I'll tell you why. In a few years, when Barbara's boobs start sagging, she can get plastic surgery, have them lifted, move the nipple wherever. You can actually go to a titty bar, pick out a set of ####### and say, "I want those ####### on that woman." If her belly gets too big, she can get a tummy tuck and have a belly like a cheerleader. If her vision goes bad, you can have LASIK surgery and have 20/20 vision. If her hearing goes bad, they can install a device in her ear that will give you hearing as clear as it was the day you were born. But let me tell you something, folks: You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.

1) If you're going to give third-party marital advice, Ron White probably isn't your best source.

2) Six-foot blondes with spectacular asses have their own special place in marital consideration.

3) She's quite intelligent, just a bit of a ditz at times. Fortunately, she's got a great sense of humor about it.

I am speaking from experience. I say it far too often to the Mrs. My wife has a college degree and she graduated with honors. Maybe my youngest sucked not only the perkiness from her t!ts, but also the brains from her head.

Fair enough. The downfall of the six-foot blonde thing is that I'm less likely to comment on the ditziness. She hits hard.

 

[Patriotsfatboy1]

I thought only women were this dumb.

Before my girlfriend became my wife, she borrowed my car, and managed to lock the keys in it while it was running. If memory serves, it was also raining.

Wait a minute. You knew this and you not only asked for her hand in marriage, but you went through with it?

If I could offer one piece of advice to the planet, it would be this: Don't marry for looks alone, and I'll tell you why. In a few years, when Barbara's boobs start sagging, she can get plastic surgery, have them lifted, move the nipple wherever. You can actually go to a titty bar, pick out a set of ####### and say, "I want those ####### on that woman." If her belly gets too big, she can get a tummy tuck and have a belly like a cheerleader. If her vision goes bad, you can have LASIK surgery and have 20/20 vision. If her hearing goes bad, they can install a device in her ear that will give you hearing as clear as it was the day you were born. But let me tell you something, folks: You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.

1) If you're going to give third-party marital advice, Ron White probably isn't your best source.

2) Six-foot blondes with spectacular asses have their own special place in marital consideration.

3) She's quite intelligent, just a bit of a ditz at times. Fortunately, she's got a great sense of humor about it.

I am speaking from experience. I say it far too often to the Mrs. My wife has a college degree and she graduated with honors. Maybe my youngest sucked not only the perkiness from her t!ts, but also the brains from her head.

Fair enough. The downfall of the six-foot blonde thing is that I'm less likely to comment on the ditziness. She hits hard.

I am not afraid of my 5-foot fake blond wife. Although, I do sleep with one eye open just in case.

 

[Henry Ford]

I thought only women were this dumb.

Before my girlfriend became my wife, she borrowed my car, and managed to lock the keys in it while it was running. If memory serves, it was also raining.

Ive done this

And she left the convertible top down in the rain. Ruined the car.

Did she call you and tell you the keys were in the ignition, the doors were locked, and the top was stuck down?

 

[The Goat]

I thought only women were this dumb.

Before my girlfriend became my wife, she borrowed my car, and managed to lock the keys in it while it was running. If memory serves, it was also raining.

Ive done this

And she left the convertible top down in the rain. Ruined the car.

Did she call you and tell you the keys were in the ignition, the doors were locked, and the top was stuck down?

True part (no, it was not a convertible; it was a CRX); she DID call me. Much along the lines of the OP, she was letting me know in a "I can't believe I just did that" way. She was amused. I was not. She called AAA.

 

[lod01]

What a genius.

 

[BroadwayG]

Doesn't sound like a great start to me.

 

[Patriotsfatboy1]

I thought only women were this dumb.

Before my girlfriend became my wife, she borrowed my car, and managed to lock the keys in it while it was running. If memory serves, it was also raining.

Ive done this

And she left the convertible top down in the rain. Ruined the car.

Did she call you and tell you the keys were in the ignition, the doors were locked, and the top was stuck down?

She couldn't. Her phone was locked in the car too.

 

[Controller]

Here's an idea:

Since a tow truck would charge from $60 to $100 to come out and jimmy your car door open, try placing an ad on Craigslist offering $20 to the first person who can come out and jimmy your door open (especially since you left the window cracked it shouldn't be too difficult) without damaging your car.

Problem solved (unless the person you hire comes back later and steals your car).

 

[D in the D]

whats the point if leaving your keys in the car?

well, he knows where they are doesn't he?

He can see them quite clearly if he presses his face to the window.