Had a WTF? conversation with the wife (1 Viewer)

[Frostillicus]

I think Clifford is projecting a lot of his own marital problems onto this situation.

I agree.

 

[Frostillicus]

Ok, well, congrats to the OP for creating a bizarro universe where GG and DSP make more sense than anyone else.

And what does this tell you about your opinion?

 

[DSP]

Eggroll. Im going to go because I dont want to ruin your thread by drawing attention. Ive been through similiar feelings recently. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.

Good luck

 

[Clifford]

NC, how many girls you know describe their sexual encounters as "things happening at parties."

I'm all for chicks who love **** going out and getting some. But I personally would not want to find out 14 years in that not only is my wife a horrible liar, past philanderer and, let's face it, ####ty mom, but also someone who got passed around.

Guess I'm old fashioned.

So now she is a ####ty mom and a whore. Oh and some of my best experiences were "things that happened at parties". I got high 5s for those escapades luckily there were whores available.

And it happened 14 years ago. What I hear are a lot of little boys with fragile egos personally.

So according to you, if you find it problematic that your wife

1. Has lied to you for 14 years

2. Lied to you at the very beginning of your relationship

3. Does not know who fathered at least one of her children

4. Has not told her grown child that she does not know who his/her father is

5. Slept with multiple men because she felt she was in a "bad marriage," quite possibly in a gangbang scenario multiple times

6. Hinted that you might not be the father of your own child

then you are the one with a problem, not her. You're ####### crazy.

Ok, well, congrats to the OP for creating a bizarro universe where GG and DSP make more sense than anyone else.

1) Yeah my wife wouldn't have to lie because I don't care what happened before me. Just like she doesn't care how many times I snorted coke off some dancers ### before we got together.

2) Again see number one and I still don't care.

3) This one is worse but still not my problem really. And it sounds like she can narrow it down but hasn't because dude from the first marriage would rather pay support then admit she cuckoled him. There's that ego again.

4) The kid isn't grown he is still in high school. And really what good is going to come from telling him that the guy who has paid for him,tells him he is his dad and he loves him is all lie?

5) You have no idea if there was a gang bang that is just your fevered imagination. And again cheating on someone else isn't cheating on me.

6) She did not. She asked what would it matter, again projection. If I found out she cheated on me and the kid wasn't mine I am not going to love that child any less would you? Is your love for the child really predicated on a few minutes in the sack over a lifetime together?

I get that you want to appear above all this, but if this were actually happening to you your act would go out the window in a second.

You go wrong on post #1. You don't get a choice. Because we are generalizing his situation which you said would only affect someone with a fragile ego.

So start again. You just found out your wife has been lying to you for 14 years. And whatever she lied to you about absolutely had a role in bringing you together. Does this only bother you if you have a fragile ego?

 

[Clifford]

Ok, well, congrats to the OP for creating a bizarro universe where GG and DSP make more sense than anyone else.

And what does this tell you about your opinion?

Nothing. Character matters. The fact that most people on here don't agree doesn't affect that and never will.

 

[NCCommish]

NC, how many girls you know describe their sexual encounters as "things happening at parties."

I'm all for chicks who love **** going out and getting some. But I personally would not want to find out 14 years in that not only is my wife a horrible liar, past philanderer and, let's face it, ####ty mom, but also someone who got passed around.

Guess I'm old fashioned.

So now she is a ####ty mom and a whore. Oh and some of my best experiences were "things that happened at parties". I got high 5s for those escapades luckily there were whores available.

And it happened 14 years ago. What I hear are a lot of little boys with fragile egos personally.

So according to you, if you find it problematic that your wife

1. Has lied to you for 14 years

2. Lied to you at the very beginning of your relationship

3. Does not know who fathered at least one of her children

4. Has not told her grown child that she does not know who his/her father is

5. Slept with multiple men because she felt she was in a "bad marriage," quite possibly in a gangbang scenario multiple times

6. Hinted that you might not be the father of your own child

then you are the one with a problem, not her. You're ####### crazy.

Ok, well, congrats to the OP for creating a bizarro universe where GG and DSP make more sense than anyone else.

1) Yeah my wife wouldn't have to lie because I don't care what happened before me. Just like she doesn't care how many times I snorted coke off some dancers ### before we got together.

2) Again see number one and I still don't care.

3) This one is worse but still not my problem really. And it sounds like she can narrow it down but hasn't because dude from the first marriage would rather pay support then admit she cuckoled him. There's that ego again.

4) The kid isn't grown he is still in high school. And really what good is going to come from telling him that the guy who has paid for him,tells him he is his dad and he loves him is all lie?

5) You have no idea if there was a gang bang that is just your fevered imagination. And again cheating on someone else isn't cheating on me.

6) She did not. She asked what would it matter, again projection. If I found out she cheated on me and the kid wasn't mine I am not going to love that child any less would you? Is your love for the child really predicated on a few minutes in the sack over a lifetime together?

I get that you want to appear above all this, but if this were actually happening to you your act would go out the window in a second.

You go wrong on post #1. You don't get a choice. Because we are generalizing his situation which you said would only affect someone with a fragile ego.

So start again. You just found out your wife has been lying to you for 14 years. And whatever she lied to you about absolutely had a role in bringing you together. Does this only bother you if you have a fragile ego?

No I don't have to start again. No woman has ever had to or felt the need to lie to me about their past. Because I don't care. I don't care if they took part in a Japanese gang bukake film 10 minutes before they met me. Well hopefully they showered but otherwise not my issue. It's what has happened since that matters. Lying is never good. But it is pretty understandable here. Look at you. You have called her a whore and a ####ty mom. Just what she thought would happen if she talked about it before. Hopefully our friend here has just a little more to him than that.

 

[Rick James]

NC, how many girls you know describe their sexual encounters as "things happening at parties."

I'm all for chicks who love **** going out and getting some. But I personally would not want to find out 14 years in that not only is my wife a horrible liar, past philanderer and, let's face it, ####ty mom, but also someone who got passed around.

Guess I'm old fashioned.

So now she is a ####ty mom and a whore. Oh and some of my best experiences were "things that happened at parties". I got high 5s for those escapades luckily there were whores available.

And it happened 14 years ago. What I hear are a lot of little boys with fragile egos personally.

So according to you, if you find it problematic that your wife1. Has lied to you for 14 years

2. Lied to you at the very beginning of your relationship

3. Does not know who fathered at least one of her children

4. Has not told her grown child that she does not know who his/her father is

5. Slept with multiple men because she felt she was in a "bad marriage," quite possibly in a gangbang scenario multiple times

6. Hinted that you might not be the father of your own child

then you are the one with a problem, not her. You're ####### crazy.

Ok, well, congrats to the OP for creating a bizarro universe where GG and DSP make more sense than anyone else.

1) Yeah my wife wouldn't have to lie because I don't care what happened before me. Just like she doesn't care how many times I snorted coke off some dancers ### before we got together.

2) Again see number one and I still don't care.

3) This one is worse but still not my problem really. And it sounds like she can narrow it down but hasn't because dude from the first marriage would rather pay support then admit she cuckoled him. There's that ego again.

4) The kid isn't grown he is still in high school. And really what good is going to come from telling him that the guy who has paid for him,tells him he is his dad and he loves him is all lie?

5) You have no idea if there was a gang bang that is just your fevered imagination. And again cheating on someone else isn't cheating on me.

6) She did not. She asked what would it matter, again projection. If I found out she cheated on me and the kid wasn't mine I am not going to love that child any less would you? Is your love for the child really predicated on a few minutes in the sack over a lifetime together?

Lmao at your response to #5.

 

[Clifford]

Wow you are full of yourself.

In order for you to put yourself in his shoes the lie needs to occur at the beginning of your relationship and continued for 14 years as a starting point. Otherwise you are not in his shoes. Real simple counselor.

ETA: No woman has ever had to or felt the need to lie to me about their past.

Do you even believe this?

 

[NCCommish]

NC, how many girls you know describe their sexual encounters as "things happening at parties."

I'm all for chicks who love **** going out and getting some. But I personally would not want to find out 14 years in that not only is my wife a horrible liar, past philanderer and, let's face it, ####ty mom, but also someone who got passed around.

Guess I'm old fashioned.

So now she is a ####ty mom and a whore. Oh and some of my best experiences were "things that happened at parties". I got high 5s for those escapades luckily there were whores available.

And it happened 14 years ago. What I hear are a lot of little boys with fragile egos personally.

So according to you, if you find it problematic that your wife1. Has lied to you for 14 years

2. Lied to you at the very beginning of your relationship

3. Does not know who fathered at least one of her children

4. Has not told her grown child that she does not know who his/her father is

5. Slept with multiple men because she felt she was in a "bad marriage," quite possibly in a gangbang scenario multiple times

6. Hinted that you might not be the father of your own child

then you are the one with a problem, not her. You're ####### crazy.

Ok, well, congrats to the OP for creating a bizarro universe where GG and DSP make more sense than anyone else.

1) Yeah my wife wouldn't have to lie because I don't care what happened before me. Just like she doesn't care how many times I snorted coke off some dancers ### before we got together.

2) Again see number one and I still don't care.

3) This one is worse but still not my problem really. And it sounds like she can narrow it down but hasn't because dude from the first marriage would rather pay support then admit she cuckoled him. There's that ego again.

4) The kid isn't grown he is still in high school. And really what good is going to come from telling him that the guy who has paid for him,tells him he is his dad and he loves him is all lie?

5) You have no idea if there was a gang bang that is just your fevered imagination. And again cheating on someone else isn't cheating on me.

6) She did not. She asked what would it matter, again projection. If I found out she cheated on me and the kid wasn't mine I am not going to love that child any less would you? Is your love for the child really predicated on a few minutes in the sack over a lifetime together?

Lmao at your response to #5.

I do try to entertain

 

[NCCommish]

Wow you are full of yourself.

In order for you to put yourself in his shoes the lie needs to occur at the beginning of your relationship and continued for 14 years as a starting point. Otherwise you are not in his shoes. Real simple counselor.

I got a title.

The problem with hypotheticals is they are just that. Now I am sure you know how would you react. It seems it's all bluster and bombast with you on this subject. Fine. That isn't how I work. Every situation is different. I can only answer from my experience. I have been cheated on and lied to just like everyone else. People do suck after all. Sometimes the right thing is to let it go. Sometimes it's to get worked up and throw a hissy. If I had this many years in and they were good years letting it go makes more sense than calling her a whore, a ####ty mom and moving out. But you know whores better than me I am sure.

 

[T Bell]

I think Clifford is projecting a lot of his own marital problems onto this situation.

Hey man, why don't you PM me with whatever your problem is with me or get off my nuts?

Get off your nuts? You mean like your fat wife that you're too afraid to leave has for years?

Ok, I'll just ignore all of that while you go on in your shrill, frantic, repetitive way and lecture someone about how to handle things in their marriage, which BTW apparently isn't but a fraction as dysfunctional as yours is.

(BTW, PM's are down.)

 

[17seconds]

At work right now so I can't go on the secret mod forum. Anybody post in alias adventures yet?

 

[trogg78]

Unbelievable how insecure some people that call themselves men can actually be.

 

[Guest]

"Hey, try not to suck any **** on the way through the parking lot."

 

[Clifford]

Wow you are full of yourself.

In order for you to put yourself in his shoes the lie needs to occur at the beginning of your relationship and continued for 14 years as a starting point. Otherwise you are not in his shoes. Real simple counselor.

I got a title.

The problem with hypotheticals is they are just that. Now I am sure you know how would you react. It seems it's all bluster and bombast with you on this subject. Fine. That isn't how I work. Every situation is different. I can only answer from my experience. I have been cheated on and lied to just like everyone else. People do suck after all. Sometimes the right thing is to let it go. Sometimes it's to get worked up and throw a hissy. If I had this many years in and they were good years letting it go makes more sense than calling her a whore, a ####ty mom and moving out. But you know whores better than me I am sure.

You said everyone who had a problem with her actions was a little boy with a fragile ego.

 

[NCCommish]

Wow you are full of yourself.

In order for you to put yourself in his shoes the lie needs to occur at the beginning of your relationship and continued for 14 years as a starting point. Otherwise you are not in his shoes. Real simple counselor.

I got a title.

The problem with hypotheticals is they are just that. Now I am sure you know how would you react. It seems it's all bluster and bombast with you on this subject. Fine. That isn't how I work. Every situation is different. I can only answer from my experience. I have been cheated on and lied to just like everyone else. People do suck after all. Sometimes the right thing is to let it go. Sometimes it's to get worked up and throw a hissy. If I had this many years in and they were good years letting it go makes more sense than calling her a whore, a ####ty mom and moving out. But you know whores better than me I am sure.

You said everyone who had a problem with her actions was a little boy with a fragile ego.

Yeah I think that's where all the bluster and name calling come from. And since I don't have an ego problem or a lack of confidence that isn't how I work.

 

[Clifford]

I think Clifford is projecting a lot of his own marital problems onto this situation.

Hey man, why don't you PM me with whatever your problem is with me or get off my nuts?

Get off your nuts? You mean like your fat wife that you're too afraid to leave has for years?

Ok, I'll just ignore all of that while you go on in your shrill, frantic, repetitive way and lecture someone about how to handle things in their marriage, which BTW apparently isn't but a fraction as dysfunctional as yours is.

(BTW, PM's are down.)

OP asked for people's take. I gave mine, and as usual you go off topic and attack me. Or my wife, not really sure who you are attacking here or what you think I did to you. Obviously I have really pissed you off. Well, when PMs get back up why don't you send me a note and we'll see if we can figure out where you are hurting.

/hijack

 

[Clifford]

Wow you are full of yourself.

In order for you to put yourself in his shoes the lie needs to occur at the beginning of your relationship and continued for 14 years as a starting point. Otherwise you are not in his shoes. Real simple counselor.

I got a title.

The problem with hypotheticals is they are just that. Now I am sure you know how would you react. It seems it's all bluster and bombast with you on this subject. Fine. That isn't how I work. Every situation is different. I can only answer from my experience. I have been cheated on and lied to just like everyone else. People do suck after all. Sometimes the right thing is to let it go. Sometimes it's to get worked up and throw a hissy. If I had this many years in and they were good years letting it go makes more sense than calling her a whore, a ####ty mom and moving out. But you know whores better than me I am sure.

You said everyone who had a problem with her actions was a little boy with a fragile ego.

Yeah I think that's where all the bluster and name calling come from. And since I don't have an ego problem or a lack of confidence that isn't how I work.

OK, wow that is pretty funny. You calling people names isn't that same as someone else calling people names. Got it.

 

[Tiger Fan]

in

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

With Sex You Get Eggroll

 

[Judge Smails]

Do you love your wife?

What happened 12 years ago is certainly a bummer, and a check against her past self. However people in ####ty relationships often make mistakes. Young people often make mistakes. If you love this woman and you have no real reason to think she's engaged in any of this behavior while with you, then I'd do my best to chalk it up as "#### from her past that has no real bearing on the present"

Now what IS of concern is why the sudden "getting wasted and rambling about her past". It obviously weighs on her if only subconsciously. Perhaps she may need to talk to someone who's a little further from the situation to work that out (professional) as you clearly aren't going to be able to be an unbiased shoulder to lean on regarding this (understandably).

If you love her, tread lightly here. Be careful to not let an emotional reaction damage your relationship going forward. She knows this is no bueno. But you need to understand that NOBODY is perfect... everyone has skeletons in their closet. If you love her, be as understanding and supportive as possible and make it clear that if your relationship is ever in that state, to TALK to you before she even thinks about pulling that ####.

Haven't read the whole thread but I think this is very good advice. If you love her you have to find a way to get through this. I would also be thinking through with her what she ultimately tells the kid about her Dad, if anything. I don't know how I would handle it. Her potentially hating the wrong guy (and potentially trying to hunt him down) is not cool.

 

[ShaqAttaq]

Black dot so I can find this easier if the thread still exists tomorrow. If this story isn't fake, I guarantee that the wife has a few more nukes.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

So, has this broad told her son yet?

 

[Clifford]

So no one has an issue with the dishonesty, or thinks it might not be all over?

 

[NCCommish]

Wow you are full of yourself.

In order for you to put yourself in his shoes the lie needs to occur at the beginning of your relationship and continued for 14 years as a starting point. Otherwise you are not in his shoes. Real simple counselor.

I got a title.

The problem with hypotheticals is they are just that. Now I am sure you know how would you react. It seems it's all bluster and bombast with you on this subject. Fine. That isn't how I work. Every situation is different. I can only answer from my experience. I have been cheated on and lied to just like everyone else. People do suck after all. Sometimes the right thing is to let it go. Sometimes it's to get worked up and throw a hissy. If I had this many years in and they were good years letting it go makes more sense than calling her a whore, a ####ty mom and moving out. But you know whores better than me I am sure.

You said everyone who had a problem with her actions was a little boy with a fragile ego.

Yeah I think that's where all the bluster and name calling come from. And since I don't have an ego problem or a lack of confidence that isn't how I work.

OK, wow that is pretty funny. You calling people names isn't that same as someone else calling people names. Got it.

Yeah but I am calling you a name based on your behavior in this thread. You are just making #### up about gang bangs and calling people you have never met or had any interaction with, whores and ####ty moms. I think there is a difference there.

 

[Rick James]

Black dot so I can find this easier if the thread still exists tomorrow. If this story isn't fake, I guarantee that the wife has a few more nukes.

no, that's crazy. she just cheated that one time. honest. [/commish]

 

[17seconds]

So no one has an issue with the dishonesty, or thinks it might not be all over?

Assuming 12 years of a good marriage I wouldn't have an issue with the dishonesty myself. She was ashamed to bring it up.

That said, there appears to be a lot more going on so it's not my final answer.

 

[johnnycakes]

So no one has an issue with the dishonesty, or thinks it might not be all over?

Oh, there's no doubt in my mind she's banged multiple guys while married to the OP. He needs to get her multiple sheets to the wind, possibly introduce her to other substances that might coax the truth out of her.

 

[Clifford]

Wow you are full of yourself.

In order for you to put yourself in his shoes the lie needs to occur at the beginning of your relationship and continued for 14 years as a starting point. Otherwise you are not in his shoes. Real simple counselor.

I got a title.

The problem with hypotheticals is they are just that. Now I am sure you know how would you react. It seems it's all bluster and bombast with you on this subject. Fine. That isn't how I work. Every situation is different. I can only answer from my experience. I have been cheated on and lied to just like everyone else. People do suck after all. Sometimes the right thing is to let it go. Sometimes it's to get worked up and throw a hissy. If I had this many years in and they were good years letting it go makes more sense than calling her a whore, a ####ty mom and moving out. But you know whores better than me I am sure.

You said everyone who had a problem with her actions was a little boy with a fragile ego.

Yeah I think that's where all the bluster and name calling come from. And since I don't have an ego problem or a lack of confidence that isn't how I work.

OK, wow that is pretty funny. You calling people names isn't that same as someone else calling people names. Got it.

Yeah but I am calling you a name based on your behavior in this thread. You are just making #### up about gang bangs and calling people you have never met or had any interaction with, whores and ####ty moms. I think there is a difference there.

What you don't get is my issue with her behavior is dishonesty. If he came into this relationship and she laid out that she cheated on her husband and engaged in orgies or gangbangs or whatever the "things happened at parties" was that would be fine. If he doesn't want to date someone who cheats or be with a girl that was in those kinds of situations then he is free to make the choice. But that did not happen. What happened is she fed him a BS story and kept that going for 14 years.

If you weren't so desperate to jump on a high horse and show how progressive you are compared to everyone else you would have caught on to this.

Anyway, agree to disagree. Honesty matters to me and a 14-year deception is a big deal. Also a big deal is the fact that the past behavior occurred while she was married and had kids, which does have a bearing on her character as it's likely safe to assume this was done without the past husband's knowledge.

 

[NCCommish]

Black dot so I can find this easier if the thread still exists tomorrow. If this story isn't fake, I guarantee that the wife has a few more nukes.

no, that's crazy. she just cheated that one time. honest. [/commish]

I haven't said that if you are referring to me. What I said was sit her down and give her a chance to come clean about any other skeletons. And I said to make sure she understood this was her chance to get right, any bombshells after this and there will be problems. You know the adult approach. I also said if it's been good and nothing else comes out that indicates she has been less than stellar as a wife you let it go and try to work past it. But I don't know if she has cheated again anymore than you do. You think you know and therein lies the difference.

 

[McGarnicle]

Sometimes I miss that I never see Genedoc post anymore, but given the state of these boards, I suppose I can't blame him.

It's really surprising how suddenly and decisively the tipping point was reached, but yeah, this forum is just about unreadable now.

 

[NCCommish]

Wow you are full of yourself.

In order for you to put yourself in his shoes the lie needs to occur at the beginning of your relationship and continued for 14 years as a starting point. Otherwise you are not in his shoes. Real simple counselor.

I got a title.

The problem with hypotheticals is they are just that. Now I am sure you know how would you react. It seems it's all bluster and bombast with you on this subject. Fine. That isn't how I work. Every situation is different. I can only answer from my experience. I have been cheated on and lied to just like everyone else. People do suck after all. Sometimes the right thing is to let it go. Sometimes it's to get worked up and throw a hissy. If I had this many years in and they were good years letting it go makes more sense than calling her a whore, a ####ty mom and moving out. But you know whores better than me I am sure.

You said everyone who had a problem with her actions was a little boy with a fragile ego.

Yeah I think that's where all the bluster and name calling come from. And since I don't have an ego problem or a lack of confidence that isn't how I work.

OK, wow that is pretty funny. You calling people names isn't that same as someone else calling people names. Got it.

Yeah but I am calling you a name based on your behavior in this thread. You are just making #### up about gang bangs and calling people you have never met or had any interaction with, whores and ####ty moms. I think there is a difference there.

What you don't get is my issue with her behavior is dishonesty. If he came into this relationship and she laid out that she cheated on her husband and engaged in orgies or gangbangs or whatever the "things happened at parties" was that would be fine. If he doesn't want to date someone who cheats or be with a girl that was in those kinds of situations then he is free to make the choice. But that did not happen. What happened is she fed him a BS story and kept that going for 14 years.

If you weren't so desperate to jump on a high horse and show how progressive you are compared to everyone else you would have caught on to this.

Anyway, agree to disagree. Honesty matters to me and a 14-year deception is a big deal. Also a big deal is the fact that the past behavior occurred while she was married and had kids, which does have a bearing on her character as it's likely safe to assume this was done without the past husband's knowledge.

No I got what your problem is. And I think it's ####### stupid. You don't seem to be getting that while you are busy calling names and making up behavior for folks.

I am not on a high horse or desperate for anything. You on the other hand certainly seem to have a lot invested here in trying to make this woman look as ####ty as possible. I am sure that isn't you bringing baggage in from elsehwere though. It's just about the honesty and her being a whore of course.

 

[sbonomo]

I don't think this is going to end well....

 

[Limp Ditka]

DSP gives himself a ban until Friday....This thread comes out and stinks to holy hell...DSP uses this thread to prematurely end his self-imposed ban approximately 24 hours after stating it, four days before it was to end.

The pieces are all there. We just have to put together the puzzle.

I have to make an exception here for a brother in need. This is a serious situation and im not posting anywhere else.

This man is going through pain right now and he needs us. This is really not the time or place to turn this in to an arguement. Show some compassion.

Agreed.

Thoughtful of you to help this guy have some insight on the behaviors of a pathological liar.

 

[NCCommish]

So I am going to take my high horse riding progressive ### to the house. You kids have fun and be careful out there.

 

[Clifford]

Wow you are full of yourself.

In order for you to put yourself in his shoes the lie needs to occur at the beginning of your relationship and continued for 14 years as a starting point. Otherwise you are not in his shoes. Real simple counselor.

I got a title.

The problem with hypotheticals is they are just that. Now I am sure you know how would you react. It seems it's all bluster and bombast with you on this subject. Fine. That isn't how I work. Every situation is different. I can only answer from my experience. I have been cheated on and lied to just like everyone else. People do suck after all. Sometimes the right thing is to let it go. Sometimes it's to get worked up and throw a hissy. If I had this many years in and they were good years letting it go makes more sense than calling her a whore, a ####ty mom and moving out. But you know whores better than me I am sure.

You said everyone who had a problem with her actions was a little boy with a fragile ego.

Yeah I think that's where all the bluster and name calling come from. And since I don't have an ego problem or a lack of confidence that isn't how I work.

OK, wow that is pretty funny. You calling people names isn't that same as someone else calling people names. Got it.

Yeah but I am calling you a name based on your behavior in this thread. You are just making #### up about gang bangs and calling people you have never met or had any interaction with, whores and ####ty moms. I think there is a difference there.

What you don't get is my issue with her behavior is dishonesty. If he came into this relationship and she laid out that she cheated on her husband and engaged in orgies or gangbangs or whatever the "things happened at parties" was that would be fine. If he doesn't want to date someone who cheats or be with a girl that was in those kinds of situations then he is free to make the choice. But that did not happen. What happened is she fed him a BS story and kept that going for 14 years.

If you weren't so desperate to jump on a high horse and show how progressive you are compared to everyone else you would have caught on to this.

Anyway, agree to disagree. Honesty matters to me and a 14-year deception is a big deal. Also a big deal is the fact that the past behavior occurred while she was married and had kids, which does have a bearing on her character as it's likely safe to assume this was done without the past husband's knowledge.

No I got what your problem is. And I think it's ####### stupid. You don't seem to be getting that while you are busy calling names and making up behavior for folks.

I am not on a high horse or desperate for anything. You on the other hand certainly seem to have a lot invested here in trying to make this woman look as ####ty as possible. I am sure that isn't you bringing baggage in from elsehwere though. It's just about the honesty and her being a whore of course.

Wow, guess I hit a nerve. No, it's really about the dishonesty but don't let stop you. Ridin high. Congrats to you.

 

[trogg78]

I would be more concerned if my wife was suddenly drinking. Her mental well being. I really wouldn't care about lies she told in a previous relationship.

 

[Juxtatarot]

When is the right time to tell someone you just starting dating about your gang bang history? By date 3?

 

[Jayrod]

I don't think this is going to end well....

The middle isn't going to well either.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

DSP gives himself a ban until Friday....This thread comes out and stinks to holy hell...DSP uses this thread to prematurely end his self-imposed ban approximately 24 hours after stating it, four days before it was to end.

The pieces are all there. We just have to put together the puzzle.

I have to make an exception here for a brother in need. This is a serious situation and im not posting anywhere else.This man is going through pain right now and he needs us. This is really not the time or place to turn this in to an arguement. Show some compassion.

I'm showing compassion, you wad. Twice now in this thread I have brought up the kid.

Everyone wants to talk about the OP and his wife, but no one seems to want to remember that there's a teenage kid out there who has been lied to his entire life about who his father is. If this thread is not bull####, then the young man deserves to know and deserves the right to try and find out who his real father is.

Just because I'm not compassionate towards you doesn't mean I'm not compassionate.

 

[StrikeS2k]

I would be more concerned if my wife was suddenly drinking. Her mental well being. I really wouldn't care about lies she told in a previous relationship.

The lies were told in this relationship. The sluttiness was done in the previous relationship.

 

[tri-man 47]

When is the right time to tell someone you just starting dating about your gang bang history? By date 3?

My wife's best friend encouraged my wife (then girlfriend) to tell me a secret she was holding during our dating period. My wife did not do so until a burst of tears one night a few months after we were married. It might have been a deal-breaker, but I'll never know for sure. Things happen, yet I believe she was the one for me.

More generally, the joke has been that since she's half-Swedish, half-German, I dated the Swede: Married the German. I suspect a lot of women roll out some degree of salesmanship during the courtship.

 

[Caesar]

When is the right time to tell someone you just starting dating about your gang bang history? By date 3?

My wife's best friend encouraged my wife (then girlfriend) to tell me a secret she was holding during our dating period. My wife did not do so until a burst of tears one night a few months after we were married. It might have been a deal-breaker, but I'll never know for sure. Things happen, yet I believe she was the one for me.

More generally, the joke has been that since she's half-Swedish, half-German, I dated the Swede: Married the German. I suspect a lot of women roll out some degree of salesmanship during the courtship.

I often wonder if this "salesmanship" is conscious or subconscious. I think maybe a little of both.

It is very presumptuous for anyone on this board to pretend to know anything about this particular woman other than what was provided by the OP. I would venture to guess that it wasn't "living a lie" for 14 years so much as minimal reason or opportunity to confess the truth. I highly doubt that every day she woke up and decided consciously that she would keep on lying about it. It isn't always so easy to just come clean about something and the longer a lie festers, the harder it becomes to right that wrong.

On the other hand, it is easy to believe that this didn't just come out of nowhere and it has been weighing on her mind recently. Again, this is based on what the OP provided. It could be just the way the conversation went.

We know the conversation was mildly incoherent at times, and the OP was obviously probing in a direction to alleviate some suspicions that were generated during her babbling. Being intoxicated, she didn't have the wherewithal to keep things straight and let it slip. I see no reason why she would come clean on this now after all this time. I just don't see what she has to gain from it. Its not like the truth coming out was inevitable any time soon.

I was lied to at the beginning of a relationship, and the truth did come out later. I chose to forgive, but it was hard to forget. Then it started to become a pattern and I found that she was too good at keeping the lies. It was not until she had no real choice but to tell me that she would come clean. I think the OP has to do what he has to do, but if he chooses to work this out, he needs to be intuitive to a pattern of this occurring. As for her past sexual indiscretions, good luck getting the images out of your mind. If you can do that, then you are on your way to being just fine.

 

[shadyridr]

When is the right time to tell someone you just starting dating about your gang bang history? By date 3?

My wife's best friend encouraged my wife (then girlfriend) to tell me a secret she was holding during our dating period. My wife did not do so until a burst of tears one night a few months after we were married. It might have been a deal-breaker, but I'll never know for sure. Things happen, yet I believe she was the one for me.

More generally, the joke has been that since she's half-Swedish, half-German, I dated the Swede: Married the German. I suspect a lot of women roll out some degree of salesmanship during the courtship.

what was the secret

 

[rockaction]

If my wife had lied about fundamental things like that for fourteen years, I'd be really, really put off, shaky about our relationship, and skeptical about a lot of stuff.

Oh, and this...

With Sex You Get Eggroll

 

[17seconds]

To make this even more bizarre, I asked when she was under the influence why her ex- never got a paternity test -- if for no other reason to rule him out as the father and not have to pay child support. But he never did and instead has shelled out hundreds of $200K in support over the years. She said he didn't want to go through the embarrassment of having a cheating wife and he always thought the kid was really his and he didn't want to know. He later moved to our area and sees the two kids a lot, so I commend him on that.

As for the level of cheating she fessed up to, she said there were 2 or 3 regular guys she was seeing while married and "sometimes things might have happened at parties". I don't speak drunken girl talk, so people will have to clue me in on what number that translates to. Apparently things in the sack were infrequent with her ex- and he was out of town for several months on business when the miracle of conception occurred, so she is "pretty sure" it wasn't her husband that did the inseminating. If it was one guy, one time or 50 guys, 500 times in terms of cheating, does it really matter?

Amateur move following up good bait with stink bait. Better luck next time.

Yeah. I created a whole new board name, waited out the multi day waiting period to be able to post, and then posted this ONE TOPIC just because I felt like messing with people on a message board about a made up story. That makes sense. Like I don't have anything better to do than go fishing about a personal issue on this site.

Well if that is true the "things happened" part of this sentence means you married a complete and total whore, like gangbang, multi-dude facial type whore. IMO you had grounds for possible divorce before this little nugget. Add in the fact that she is clearly still lying to you about the situation with her ex (biggest load of BS I have ever heard).

Hate to say it but I agree with GG on this one. Start getting as much info as possible and prep for divorce. Unless you are ok being married to a girl that gets used like a ragdoll at parties and lies to you all the time.

dude

are you the father?

 

[rockaction]

To make this even more bizarre, I asked when she was under the influence why her ex- never got a paternity test -- if for no other reason to rule him out as the father and not have to pay child support. But he never did and instead has shelled out hundreds of $200K in support over the years. She said he didn't want to go through the embarrassment of having a cheating wife and he always thought the kid was really his and he didn't want to know. He later moved to our area and sees the two kids a lot, so I commend him on that.

As for the level of cheating she fessed up to, she said there were 2 or 3 regular guys she was seeing while married and "sometimes things might have happened at parties". I don't speak drunken girl talk, so people will have to clue me in on what number that translates to. Apparently things in the sack were infrequent with her ex- and he was out of town for several months on business when the miracle of conception occurred, so she is "pretty sure" it wasn't her husband that did the inseminating. If it was one guy, one time or 50 guys, 500 times in terms of cheating, does it really matter?

Amateur move following up good bait with stink bait. Better luck next time.

Yeah. I created a whole new board name, waited out the multi day waiting period to be able to post, and then posted this ONE TOPIC just because I felt like messing with people on a message board about a made up story. That makes sense. Like I don't have anything better to do than go fishing about a personal issue on this site.

Well if that is true the "things happened" part of this sentence means you married a complete and total whore, like gangbang, multi-dude facial type whore. IMO you had grounds for possible divorce before this little nugget. Add in the fact that she is clearly still lying to you about the situation with her ex (biggest load of BS I have ever heard).

Hate to say it but I agree with GG on this one. Start getting as much info as possible and prep for divorce. Unless you are ok being married to a girl that gets used like a ragdoll at parties and lies to you all the time.

dude

are you the father?

This is wretched, wretched behavior. It's stealing, it's unethical, it's utterly ####ty. This was the first thing I wondered when I read the thread. No excuse for that.

 

[17seconds]

To make this even more bizarre, I asked when she was under the influence why her ex- never got a paternity test -- if for no other reason to rule him out as the father and not have to pay child support. But he never did and instead has shelled out hundreds of $200K in support over the years. She said he didn't want to go through the embarrassment of having a cheating wife and he always thought the kid was really his and he didn't want to know. He later moved to our area and sees the two kids a lot, so I commend him on that.

As for the level of cheating she fessed up to, she said there were 2 or 3 regular guys she was seeing while married and "sometimes things might have happened at parties". I don't speak drunken girl talk, so people will have to clue me in on what number that translates to. Apparently things in the sack were infrequent with her ex- and he was out of town for several months on business when the miracle of conception occurred, so she is "pretty sure" it wasn't her husband that did the inseminating. If it was one guy, one time or 50 guys, 500 times in terms of cheating, does it really matter?

Amateur move following up good bait with stink bait. Better luck next time.

Yeah. I created a whole new board name, waited out the multi day waiting period to be able to post, and then posted this ONE TOPIC just because I felt like messing with people on a message board about a made up story. That makes sense. Like I don't have anything better to do than go fishing about a personal issue on this site.

Well if that is true the "things happened" part of this sentence means you married a complete and total whore, like gangbang, multi-dude facial type whore. IMO you had grounds for possible divorce before this little nugget. Add in the fact that she is clearly still lying to you about the situation with her ex (biggest load of BS I have ever heard).

Hate to say it but I agree with GG on this one. Start getting as much info as possible and prep for divorce. Unless you are ok being married to a girl that gets used like a ragdoll at parties and lies to you all the time.

dude

are you the father?

This is wretched, wretched behavior. It's stealing, it's unethical, it's utterly ####ty. This was the first thing I wondered when I read the thread. No excuse for that.

yeah but Clifford cares A LOT

 

[rockaction]

To make this even more bizarre, I asked when she was under the influence why her ex- never got a paternity test -- if for no other reason to rule him out as the father and not have to pay child support. But he never did and instead has shelled out hundreds of $200K in support over the years. She said he didn't want to go through the embarrassment of having a cheating wife and he always thought the kid was really his and he didn't want to know. He later moved to our area and sees the two kids a lot, so I commend him on that.

As for the level of cheating she fessed up to, she said there were 2 or 3 regular guys she was seeing while married and "sometimes things might have happened at parties". I don't speak drunken girl talk, so people will have to clue me in on what number that translates to. Apparently things in the sack were infrequent with her ex- and he was out of town for several months on business when the miracle of conception occurred, so she is "pretty sure" it wasn't her husband that did the inseminating. If it was one guy, one time or 50 guys, 500 times in terms of cheating, does it really matter?

Amateur move following up good bait with stink bait. Better luck next time.

Yeah. I created a whole new board name, waited out the multi day waiting period to be able to post, and then posted this ONE TOPIC just because I felt like messing with people on a message board about a made up story. That makes sense. Like I don't have anything better to do than go fishing about a personal issue on this site.

Well if that is true the "things happened" part of this sentence means you married a complete and total whore, like gangbang, multi-dude facial type whore. IMO you had grounds for possible divorce before this little nugget. Add in the fact that she is clearly still lying to you about the situation with her ex (biggest load of BS I have ever heard).

Hate to say it but I agree with GG on this one. Start getting as much info as possible and prep for divorce. Unless you are ok being married to a girl that gets used like a ragdoll at parties and lies to you all the time.

dude

are you the father?

This is wretched, wretched behavior. It's stealing, it's unethical, it's utterly ####ty. This was the first thing I wondered when I read the thread. No excuse for that.

yeah but Clifford cares A LOT

I skipped the debate for the most part. Generally, I miss those. I wish I missed my own little debate tangents, frankly. But I read this at about 3 (?) or so and this was the first thing I wondered. I can't pretend to care too much. This is a woman who -- and she might not be a lousy woman -- has done some pretty bad things in the past, and any intra-board carping shouldn't really obscure that.

 

[DSP]

A married woman sleeping around, or as it seems even worse is implied, its extremely irresponsible and disrespectful to her husband and the child she had at the time.

Not using protection with these random tom, ##### and harrys and risking pregnancy is a completely different level os disrespect and irresponsibility.

A level I feel is evil.