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Help me choose my new title (1 Viewer)

Evilgrin 72

Distributor of Pain
I've always felt titles are fairly unimportant, but I have to get new business cards, so once I make this decision, it's going to be in print 5,000 times.

After a number of years as Director of Client Services, now I've been officially promoted to..... I don't know what. The COO has basically left it to me to be called whatever I want. Here are the pertinent details as briefly as possible. We're a manufacturing, packaging, and logistics facility. Most familiar with the business would know us as a co-packer. The structure in here now if that we have a COO, who runs the day to day and reports to our parent company in NJ. Below him is the CFO, the VP of Operations, who oversees the physical manufacturing, packaging, and warehouse, and me. The VP of ____________________. I'm in direct charge of customer service, purchasing, IT, pricing, margin analysis, and shipping/logistics. Basically all things back office. I used to have two counterparts covering different areas, then 1, now I've absorbed them all. I'm like The Blob. I'm the contact name given if the COO is out of office, essentially his #2. Uh huh huh huh.

SO, WTF do I put on my business cards? Also, what title goes the farthest on a resume in case I ever need to move or find a new job? I thought about VP of Supply Chain, but that doesn't cover it all. Neither does VP of Client Services. I've seen a few "VP of Back Office Operations" online, but that feels wordy and kind of lame to me. VP of Operations is so clean and tidy, but taken.

Any suggestions? Either serious or with the word Schvantz worked in somewhere.

 
I've always felt titles are fairly unimportant, but I have to get new business cards, so once I make this decision, it's going to be in print 5,000 times.

After a number of years as Director of Client Services, now I've been officially promoted to..... I don't know what. The COO has basically left it to me to be called whatever I want. Here are the pertinent details as briefly as possible. We're a manufacturing, packaging, and logistics facility. Most familiar with the business would know us as a co-packer. The structure in here now if that we have a COO, who runs the day to day and reports to our parent company in NJ. Below him is the CFO, the VP of Operations, who oversees the physical manufacturing, packaging, and warehouse, and me. The VP of ____________________. I'm in direct charge of customer service, purchasing, IT, pricing, margin analysis, and shipping/logistics. Basically all things back office. I used to have two counterparts covering different areas, then 1, now I've absorbed them all. I'm like The Blob. I'm the contact name given if the COO is out of office, essentially his #2. Uh huh huh huh.

SO, WTF do I put on my business cards? Also, what title goes the farthest on a resume in case I ever need to move or find a new job? I thought about VP of Supply Chain, but that doesn't cover it all. Neither does VP of Client Services. I've seen a few "VP of Back Office Operations" online, but that feels wordy and kind of lame to me. VP of Operations is so clean and tidy, but taken.

Any suggestions? Either serious or with the word Schvantz worked in somewhere.
VP of Back Office.

Just don't hand them out to any gay guys.

 
What about Chief Administrative Officer? It is a high level position in banking but not sure if it translates.

If not then Head Schvantz in Charge

 
Assistant to the COO, or VP of Sales and Planning
I don't want Assistant in there if I can help it. All it makes me think about now is Dwight Schrute. The latter suggestion, I actually like the sound of, but the sales department is all up in NJ and they don't report to me at all, so it wouldn't pass the sniff test.

 
What about Chief Administrative Officer? It is a high level position in banking but not sure if it translates.

If not then Head Schvantz in Charge
:lmao:

I like the sound of that, but I'm also unsure if it translates. Need to do more research there. I love Head Schvantz in Charge. Truth be told, I'd personally rather have that on my card than anything official, I just don't think it's very smart. :lol:

 
Assistant to the COO, or VP of Sales and Planning
I don't want Assistant in there if I can help it. All it makes me think about now is Dwight Schrute. The latter suggestion, I actually like the sound of, but the sales department is all up in NJ and they don't report to me at all, so it wouldn't pass the sniff test.
The Assistant to the COO was a joke. Apparently a bad one.

How about VP/Director of Business Development...

 
Assistant to the COO, or VP of Sales and Planning
I don't want Assistant in there if I can help it. All it makes me think about now is Dwight Schrute. The latter suggestion, I actually like the sound of, but the sales department is all up in NJ and they don't report to me at all, so it wouldn't pass the sniff test.
The Assistant to the COO was a joke. Apparently a bad one.

How about VP/Director of Business Development...
In all honestly this is pretty good -- that or you could be boring and go VP of Client Services

 
Assistant to the COO, or VP of Sales and Planning
I don't want Assistant in there if I can help it. All it makes me think about now is Dwight Schrute. The latter suggestion, I actually like the sound of, but the sales department is all up in NJ and they don't report to me at all, so it wouldn't pass the sniff test.
The Assistant to the COO was a joke. Apparently a bad one.

How about VP/Director of Business Development...
Not a bad one, I thought it was, I just didn't want to laugh at it unless I was sure. I like you and didn't want to hurt your feelings, GB.

VP/Director of Business Development. Hmmmm. A little wordy, but I like the sound of it.

 
Executive Very Important Leader Genuinely Responsible for Innovative Nonsense

or just use the acronym

 
I think I've already decided on KISS' "Let's Put the X in Sex" as my theme music to be played as I enter/exit meetings and when people hold for me, though.

 
Part of my opening day shtick every semester is to claim I hate titles (true). If the students insist on calling me something, I tell them not to use "sir" or "mr." or "professor." Instead I prefer "Holy Roman Emperor" or "Messiah" or "Grand Pooba."

This usually gets a laugh and we move on. Except this semester a couple guys have run with it and now call me Grand Pooba all the time.

I gotta admit, it's grown on me.

So EG, maybe you could run with something like that. Senior Grand Pooba of Back Office Operations.

Just try on. Ask the peons to call you this for a day or two. Write it on a piece of paper in big bold letters and tape it to your door.

It has a nice comic yet professional ring to it. Like a mullet, party in the back, all business up front.

 
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What about Chief Administrative Officer? It is a high level position in banking but not sure if it translates.

If not then Head Schvantz in Charge
:lmao:

I like the sound of that, but I'm also unsure if it translates. Need to do more research there. I love Head Schvantz in Charge. Truth be told, I'd personally rather have that on my card than anything official, I just don't think it's very smart. :lol:
I was actually going to suggest that.

I am in IT consulting, one of my customers just pulled a reorganization when their CIO resigned. The person who is essentially their Chief Operating Office (and will continue to act as such) was just promoted to Senior VP of the company (the first time they have ever had that role): his new title is Chief Administrative Officer. He will have 80% of the company reporting to him.

I agree, that it is a bit odd sounding, but it looks like it applies outside of banking.

 

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