How bad is this? (1 Viewer)

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

If I were her I’d be more mad about you texting me every 30 minutes. I’m trying to get some sleep here dirt bag!

 

[Captain Cranks]

I thought that this was my easiest option, rightly or wrongly. 

It usually is when you don't get busted.  

 

[Angry Beavers]

Not a big deal - she will get over it

The bigger question - how are the kids and bikes getting home? 

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

And not just lied - placated her like a child and then did what he wanted to as though her feelings on the matter are ridiculous and not worthy of an actual conversation.  Just treated her like you would a crazy person or someone whose opinion doesn't have to be taken seriously.

This might explain my wife’s unhappiness and depression.

 

[Henry Ford]

Hardly. And I’ve had the conversation with her many times. This was just a moment where I chose to avoid the conflict and make a decision that I know she would not be happy with should she find out about it. She called my bluff, and that’s it. I have no excuse. I don’t see it as a betrayal so much as just stupid.

Just curious though how how you would feel if your life is continually compromised because of someone you don’t know and have never met? And many decisions you must make about your life have to be made with that person in mind. And I’m okay with this. I chose this. And i make every attempt to be as respectful as i can, but sometimes it just may not work out that way for whatever reason. Not out of disrespect, but because I am my own person, and sometimes my decisions for me are going to be more important than my decisions for someone else. And when this happens, you will be the bad guy regardless of what you do. This was one of those times. And I feel awful about lying to her. I think at the time, I thought that this was my easiest option, rightly or wrongly. 

I appreciate that you feel this is what is happening.  And it's not my marriage, it's yours.  I apologize if I've offended you.

A decision to "compromise" your life by not doing things is just that - a decision you make, not a passive thing that happens to you.  I don't have any issue whatsoever with anyone saying "yeah, no, I'm not going to live by that rule."  But that's a different discussion.  You appeared to be asking how bad something is.  If you're wondering about how bad driving home is, I think that's about a 0-1 on a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is as bad as it gets.  I assumed you were asking about the other part.

As far as being the bad guy, that depends on what you mean.  If you mean your wife will be mad, that's probably true.  But objectively speaking, you're entitled to be your own person, whether or not that bothers her.  Just like she's entitled to have massive anxiety about you driving for 16 hours.  Having your wife get mad at you does not make you a bad guy.  Even the most compatible people aren't eye to eye on everything.

 

[E Street Brat]

I wish this was the kind of stuff I got in trouble for.  Goodness.

Did you tell your former wife that you would not impregnate the babysitter after she politely asked you not to?

Then text her a pic of you standing in front of the stirrups 9 months later.

 

[E Street Brat]

 Just treated her like you would a crazy person or someone whose opinion doesn't have to be taken seriously.

Well we are assuming she has a gina so lets not get carried away. 

 

[NeverEnough]

You should not have told her you were driving through, idiot.

 

[Henry Ford]

Well we are assuming she has a gina so lets not get carried away. 

You're going to have to unpack how I was getting carried away.

 

[Beef Ravioli]

You apologized, now drop it.

If she won’t communicate with you, I wouldn’t be sending anymore text messages or calls. It’s on her now. Go to work, get a steak dinner and let your wife simmer down. 

 

[General Malaise]

You can get a pretty expensive ticket for texting and driving in Oregon.  Is that only here?  

 

[El Floppo]

Holy ####### ####

 

[Johnny Rock]

Stop texting and driving. 

 

[Skipdog77]

If I were your wife I'd be more upset with your habitual texting and driving. Way to put John Q. Public at risk. 

 

[ChiefD]

Hardly. And I’ve had the conversation with her many times. This was just a moment where I chose to avoid the conflict and make a decision that I know she would not be happy with should she find out about it. She called my bluff, and that’s it. I have no excuse. I don’t see it as a betrayal so much as just stupid.

Just curious though how how you would feel if your life is continually compromised because of someone you don’t know and have never met? And many decisions you must make about your life have to be made with that person in mind. And I’m okay with this. I chose this. And i make every attempt to be as respectful as i can, but sometimes it just may not work out that way for whatever reason. Not out of disrespect, but because I am my own person, and sometimes my decisions for me are going to be more important than my decisions for someone else. And when this happens, you will be the bad guy regardless of what you do. This was one of those times. And I feel awful about lying to her. I think at the time, I thought that this was my easiest option, rightly or wrongly. 

Look. Every marriage has some compromise in them. Every one of us has one or two hot-button issues where you know you simply cannot cross the line for the sake of respect for the other half.

I know what my wife's are, and I knew that going in, and I have adjusted my life because of those things.

And you basically crossed the one line you KNEW was one of those hot-button issues. This one is not about you - it's about you really hurting her and probably her family on the ONE THING you knew would be a problem.

This is a bad one. And being flippant about it all the way home just added fuel to the fire. 

 

[gianmarco]

Look. Every marriage has some compromise in them. Every one of us has one or two hot-button issues where you know you simply cannot cross the line for the sake of respect for the other half.

I know what my wife's are, and I knew that going in, and I have adjusted my life because of those things.

And you basically crossed the one line you KNEW was one of those hot-button issues. This one is not about you - it's about you really hurting her and probably her family on the ONE THING you knew would be a problem.

This is a bad one. And being flippant about it all the way home just added fuel to the fire. 

With the pic of the house the cherry on top.

 

[gianmarco]

With the pic of the house the cherry on top.

And that wasn't a thumbs up she sent.

 

[MAC_32]

And that wasn't a thumbs up she sent.

The middle finger emoji is my wife's most used emoji. 

 

[El Floppo]

Holy ####### ####

Lol. Wrong thread.

 

[ghostguy123]

Lot of dumb here.

Why lie?  And since you lied, why come clean and tell the truth?

Why are you texting while driving when the whole issue here is some "traumatic" thing at night while driving?

Silly.

 

[bcdjr1]

Just curious though how how you would feel if your life is continually compromised because of someone you don’t know and have never met? 

Can you name one person whose life isn't compromised because of something someone they don't know/have never met did? 

For example, security procedures at the airport are all because of people I don't know and never met, yet I have to comply with them. Speed limits are another example. Most laws, really. 

 

[ghostguy123]

Give her the money you woulda spent on the hotel room.  

Sleep with someone's wife.

Stop texting and driving.  

Next time you lie, don't come clean 5 seconds later like a dope.  Or just don't lie and say "I'm fine, I wanna sleep in my own bed and not some flea infested roadside trailer, I will split the money with you that I woulda spent on the hotel.  Gnight honey".  

She is probably 3x more pissed because you were texting and driving considering why she is upset in the first place.

How could you possibly be this terrible and critical thinking?  Maybe you WERE too tired and shoulda stopped at a hotel.