How do you deal with DismissiveGuy at work? (1 Viewer)

[Otis]

DismissiveGuy likely has some sort of confidence issue. He is the guy who calls you to his office for a meeting and then spends time half listening to you and taking other calls. He speaks loudly and talks over people and tries to always seem really busy and really important. He always speaks quickly and tries to hang up the phone first in nearly every conversation. He cares a LOT about office politics and seems to always know what's what with everything. He's the kind of guy who plots out before a meeting who should sit where like it's some kind of power play. He's the guy who calls you "friend" or "brother" a lot when he wants to be your friend. He likes to drop f bombs and office inappropriate comments a lot. He's especially rude and dismissive with people who report to him. In an era in which most any moron can type for themselves, he dictates a lot. He make fun of people who take the time to write thoughtful emails (like I guess he's too busy to read them is the angle)

How do you deal with this guy? I have to imagine this is pretty tired schtick that is done enough that others see it? Oh and you have to play nice with this guy since your work together. You'd rather just ignore him but the fates won't allow it.

What's the play here? I'm generally pretty respectful of others, especially those who report to me. I have a hard time watching how he treats those below him, and lately he's getting awfully comfortable and close to disrespecting me in similar ways.

Shark move with a DismissiveGuy who tries way hard like this?

I'll hang up before you do and act like I'm too important to listen....

 

[joffer]

I usually quit

 

[Frostillicus]

Can you add the word nerd somewhere?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Knee him in the nuts and call him a []aggot in front of everyone.

 

[Otis]

Readers Digest version please ?

How do you deal with pricks at work who try really hard to make the themselves seem more important than anyone in the room.

 

[Otis]

Knee him in the nuts and call him a []aggot in front of everyone.

Swear to god this almost happened today.

 

[Otis]

Can you add the word nerd somewhere?

No question the guy was a nerd in high school and these problems derive from earlier in his life.

 

[Otis]

I usually quit

Let's assume you like your job and don't have to work with him THAT much.

 

[Steve Tasker]

This is how I envision at least 90% of people in BigLaw.

 

[Mister Martie]

Talk #### about him behind his back.

 

[Otis]

This is how I envision at least 90% of people in BigLaw.

In my experience this guy is an outlier. He's like a wannabe Biglaw caricature surrounded by people who are otherwise mostly pretty normal.

 

[Otis]

Talk #### about him behind his back.

He does a LOT of this with everyone else. His "friends" included. No doubt be talks #### about you too. You generally really weren't raised that way. You believe in being as gentleman and earning respect, not demanding it.

 

[urbanhack]

Readers Digest version please ?

How do you deal with pricks at work who try really hard to make the themselves seem more important than anyone in the room.

Ignore them, act calmer than they do and once in a while ask them questions in front of other people that make them reveal their insecure narcissism. I worked with a guy like this for about 8 years.

 

[Otis]

Readers Digest version please ?

How do you deal with pricks at work who try really hard to make the themselves seem more important than anyone in the room.

Ignore them, act calmer than they do and once in a while ask them questions in front of other people that make them reveal their insecure narcissism. I worked with a guy like this for about 8 years.

It's awful. I like your suggestion. Now that you mention it. He was being a jackass the other day and I asked a couple pointed questions exactly that way and he ####. Actually he just tired to talk quickly over the issue and change the subject but it was pretty clear he didn't know wtf he was talking about.

 

[fatness]

I don't have time to read this trivial gripe.

 

[Raider Nation]

Sleep with his wife.

 

[Raider Nation]

Have Eminence call him 40 times a day.

 

[Otis]

That is the word I was grasping for, Hack. Insecure. DismissiveGuy is WAY insecure.

 

[Mister Martie]

Readers Digest version please ?

How do you deal with pricks at work who try really hard to make the themselves seem more important than anyone in the room.

Ignore them, act calmer than they do and once in a while ask them questions in front of other people that make them reveal their insecure narcissism. I worked with a guy like this for about 8 years.

It's awful. I like your suggestion. Now that you mention it. He was being a jackass the other day and I asked a couple pointed questions exactly that way and he ####. Actually he just tired to talk quickly over the issue and change the subject but it was pretty clear he didn't know wtf he was talking about.

In my experience, this is all you can really do without blowing up the whole situation. You can't really go to war with the guy, so just try to recognize how he is and let it roll off your back. It's tough - I deal with this kind of dude a lot, unfortunately.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Send an anonymous email to HR and say the guy offered you $50 to let him blow you.

 

[DSP]

Readers Digest version please ?

How do you deal with pricks at work who try really hard to make the themselves seem more important than anyone in the room.

Just do the same thing except only to him. This will enrage him and make him more likely to do something stupid to get fired

 

[Otis]

Readers Digest version please ?

How do you deal with pricks at work who try really hard to make the themselves seem more important than anyone in the room.

Ignore them, act calmer than they do and once in a while ask them questions in front of other people that make them reveal their insecure narcissism. I worked with a guy like this for about 8 years.

It's awful. I like your suggestion. Now that you mention it. He was being a jackass the other day and I asked a couple pointed questions exactly that way and he ####. Actually he just tired to talk quickly over the issue and change the subject but it was pretty clear he didn't know wtf he was talking about.

In my experience, this is all you can really do without blowing up the whole situation. You can't really go to war with the guy, so just try to recognize how he is and let it roll off your back. It's tough - I deal with this kind of dude a lot, unfortunately.

I guess this is right. I came seriously close today to considering having a stern talk. But I suppose that's not the play with this guy. And Otis is a peaceful guy. I don't need headaches.

These people are pretty awful. What is crazy to me is that he has a wife and kids. What the hell was this woman thinking, and his poor kids...jesus.

It's sad because he's not a bad guy all the time and sometimes I genuinely like him. But this personality defect is WAY annoying.

 

[urbanhack]

That is the word I was grasping for, Hack. Insecure. DismissiveGuy is WAY insecure.

Yep. Nothing worse than an insecure, narcissistic bully.

 

[DSP]

That is the word I was grasping for, Hack. Insecure. DismissiveGuy is WAY insecure.

Yep. Nothing worse than an insecure, narcissistic bully.

Lot of them on the boards

 

[gianmarco]

Invite him to your office because you need to talk. When he arrives make sure you have someone call you and take the call. Keep the phone conversation going but if he tries to leave, hold up a finger like it's only one more minute and won't be long. Just make sure it is long. If he tries to leave for real, cover up your mouthpiece and ask him where he's going.

Do this a few times over the course of a couple days and maybe he'll get the hint.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Kick to the nards is the likely solution.

 

[urbanhack]

That is the word I was grasping for, Hack. Insecure. DismissiveGuy is WAY insecure.

Yep. Nothing worse than an insecure, narcissistic bully.

Lot of them on the boards

link?

 

[Otis]

Invite him to your office because you need to talk. When he arrives make sure you have someone call you and take the call. Keep the phone conversation going but if he tries to leave, hold up a finger like it's only one more minute and won't be long. Just make sure it is long. If he tries to leave for real, cover up your mouthpiece and ask him where he's going.

Do this a few times over the course of a couple days and maybe he'll get the hint.

I've actually just started leaving his office when he does this. Or sometimes I'll start looking at my balackberry while he talks. It's petty but I'm sure it drives him bananas, and at least I can get some other work done while I'm still in his office.

 

[Otis]

Kick to the nards is the likely solution.

Seems reasonable.

 

[urbanhack]

Invite him to your office because you need to talk. When he arrives make sure you have someone call you and take the call. Keep the phone conversation going but if he tries to leave, hold up a finger like it's only one more minute and won't be long. Just make sure it is long. If he tries to leave for real, cover up your mouthpiece and ask him where he's going.

Do this a few times over the course of a couple days and maybe he'll get the hint.

I've actually just started leaving his office when he does this. Or sometimes I'll start looking at my balackberry while he talks. It's petty but I'm sure it drives him bananas, and at least I can get some other work done while I'm still in his office.

my guy used to put his feet up on his desk every time I walked into his office. Always felt like an indirect sign of disrespect. So glad that tool got canned a few years ago.

 

[DSP]

That is the word I was grasping for, Hack. Insecure. DismissiveGuy is WAY insecure.

Yep. Nothing worse than an insecure, narcissistic bully.

Lot of them on the boards

link?

Just go to any thread I started

 

[Otis]

I'm also fairly certain he's the kind of guy who reads a lot of those office power books, like how to be powerful in the workplace, and body language for winners, and that sort of crap. I've never seen a person put more thought into petty crap like where an office is or who has the bigger office (by counting ceiling rules, seriously) or what color tie you wear to a meeting etc. Brutal.

 

[Otis]

Invite him to your office because you need to talk. When he arrives make sure you have someone call you and take the call. Keep the phone conversation going but if he tries to leave, hold up a finger like it's only one more minute and won't be long. Just make sure it is long. If he tries to leave for real, cover up your mouthpiece and ask him where he's going.

Do this a few times over the course of a couple days and maybe he'll get the hint.

I've actually just started leaving his office when he does this. Or sometimes I'll start looking at my balackberry while he talks. It's petty but I'm sure it drives him bananas, and at least I can get some other work done while I'm still in his office.

my guy used to put his feet up on his desk every time I walked into his office. Always felt like an indirect sign of disrespect. So glad that tool got canned a few years ago.

Awful.

 

[TheAristocrat]

Does he drink coffee? Pour out the pot(s) prior to his caffeine fetish. O/U is 2.5 days until he loses it on the world for a lack of coffee.

Just my notes from working in a law firm and wanting to see Associates go crazy.

 

[urbanhack]

That is the word I was grasping for, Hack. Insecure. DismissiveGuy is WAY insecure.

Yep. Nothing worse than an insecure, narcissistic bully.

Lot of them on the boards

link?

Just go to any thread I started

Yea...well you're a dolt.

 

[DSP]

That is the word I was grasping for, Hack. Insecure. DismissiveGuy is WAY insecure.

Yep. Nothing worse than an insecure, narcissistic bully.

Lot of them on the boards

link?

Just go to any thread I started

Yea...well you're a dolt.

Heres one example of a narcissistic dismissive jerk

 

[fantasycurse42]

Are you equals?

If so, who has been there longer and who has more support from your superiors?

 

[urbanhack]

Are you equals?

If so, who has been there longer and who has more support from your superiors?

Why does this matter? He's a ####.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Are you equals?

If so, who has been there longer and who has more support from your superiors?

Why does this matter? He's a ####.

Huge detail... Much different if this guy has rank over you then if you're equals and how others in the company look at both of you is equally important on how you handle.

 

[Jayrod]

I worked with a chick like this once. We yelled at each other over my trash once.

 

[Doubtingthomas]

I would go with the stern talking to.

 

[saintfool]

Readers Digest version please ?

How do you deal with pricks at work who try really hard to make the themselves seem more important than anyone in the room.

Really this is a question intended for the Shark Pool.

 

[T Bell]

Readers Digest version please ?

How do you deal with pricks at work who try really hard to make the themselves seem more important than anyone in the room.

Neg. Repeatedly. Next question.

 

[T Bell]

Talk #### about him behind his back.

He does a LOT of this with everyone else. His "friends" included. No doubt be talks #### about you too. You generally really weren't raised that way. You believe in being as gentleman and earning respect, not demanding it.

Then take great joy in informing people about what he's saying about them behind their back.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

That is the word I was grasping for, Hack. Insecure. DismissiveGuy is WAY insecure.

Yep. Nothing worse than an insecure, narcissistic bully.

Lot of them on the boards

link?

Just go to any thread I started

Yea...well you're a dolt.

Heres one example of a narcissistic dismissive jerk

And here's another: Get bent.

 

[DSP]

That is the word I was grasping for, Hack. Insecure. DismissiveGuy is WAY insecure.

Yep. Nothing worse than an insecure, narcissistic bully.

Lot of them on the boards

link?

Just go to any thread I started

Yea...well you're a dolt.

Heres one example of a narcissistic dismissive jerk

And here's another: Get bent.

2 examples already. Serious insecurity problems around here

 

[drummer]

OtisMove would throw $$$ at him

 

[Otis]

Are you equals?

If so, who has been there longer and who has more support from your superiors?

Why does this matter? He's a ####.

Huge detail... Much different if this guy has rank over you then if you're equals and how others in the company look at both of you is equally important on how you handle.

Sort of equals. He is a little older and has a little more experience, I have been with the company longer by just a little. We are in different business units,I would say day I have a glowing reputation in mine, he's probably average-ish in his.

 

[jon_mx]

Every time he talks to you.....look at him and answer...'huh...what was that?'. Then proceed to looking somewhere else.

 

[John Bender]

Mow half of his lawn.