How long did you tell people your spawn's age in months? (1 Viewer)

[Scoresman]

My wife and I were at a party last weekend and this one couple had a child that looked about 4-5 years old. My wife asked how old the child was and the mom said he was 57 months.

I almost spit my Tanqueray and Tonic out upon hearing this. "Oh, this is obviously that kind of parent", I immediately thought to myself. My suspicion was later confirmed when we found out the kid's name was "Ames".

Talk about setting your kid up to be the world's biggest #####bag.

 

[Cjw_55106]

My son just turned 178 months, if that helps.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

At about 11 months it stopped being months and turned to 'about a year'. From there it'll progress to 'a little over a year' to 'a year and a half' to 'almost 2'. After that, just the year.

 

[jhib]

18 months was probably the last for us. The next age after that was probably "almost 2."

 

[jhib]

The mom is probably still breastfeeding the kid, too.

 

[kutta]

Anything up to 23 is probably acceptable. After that it's time to go to years.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I always gave my kids' ages in parsecs.

 

[Spin]

I stopped the months thing before my wife, and made sure she stopped when our oldest was 1 year old. I honestly got tired of just trying to figure it out. After about 6 months I went with "he's almost 1".

My 2nd son was born in October and he's been "about 6 months old" for a few months now when I'm asked.

 

[MAC_32]

1-10 months, all good. Weeks are never acceptable.

Then almost a year.

Then he just turned one.

Then back to months from about month 15 to maybe 20, but inevitably am off by a month so I tell myself to just say a year and a half next time and then forget.

Then almost 2.

Then years only.

I caught myself saying almost 5 in a conversation recently and immediately wanted to punch myself in the face.

 

[[icon]]

I'm pushing 2000 weeks

 

[IC FBGCav]

My dog is 5129 days old, in human years.

 

[Mr. Ected]

I was teasing my daughter that she was turning 100 in a couple weeks. She didn't like being 100 months old, so of course, I continued to remind her.

 

[Dentist]

I think up to 23 is fine.

After that 2, 2.5, 3, etc.

 

[BobbyLayne]

The mom is probably still breastfeeding the kid, too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVsMJ0ntvmc

 

[mr roboto]

Anything up to 23 is probably acceptable. After that it's time to go to years.

This. Somewhere between 18-24.

 

[Loan Sharks]

Anything over one is just jerking people around. Once you hit the year hand that is what you go with.

When one asks you the time it is 1:45 not 12:105.

 

[mr roboto]

Anything over one is just jerking people around. Once you hit the year hand that is what you go with.

When one asks you the time it is 1:45 not 12:105.

This would be good shtick.

 

[El Floppo]

18 months was probably the last for us. The next age after that was probably "almost 2."

this.

year and a half... almost two... two. etc.

 

[El Floppo]

and that's for a first kid.

second kid is "one-ish, two-ish... dunno- might be 3" etc.

 

[pantagrapher]

Anything up to 23 is probably acceptable. After that it's time to go to years.

Ours is at 22 months, although now I've started saying "she'll be 2 in July" half the time.

 

[El Floppo]

18 months was probably the last for us. The next age after that was probably "almost 2."

this.

year and a half... almost two... two. etc.

because really... nobody but you cares how many months they are.

 

[xulf]

Anything up to 23 is probably acceptable. After that it's time to go to years.

 

[Quez]

Up to 1 year

 

[Scoresman]

18 months was probably the last for us. The next age after that was probably "almost 2."

this.

year and a half... almost two... two. etc.

because really... nobody but you cares how many months they are.

This is the crux of the whole thing. Some parents think their kids are such unique snowflakes/gifts to the world, when in actuality nobody cares. This is just another example of it.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

I prefer to reference what trimester they are in.

 

[LarryAllen'sJockstrap]

Up to 1 year

This. But I'd also add that up to 4 years, you can still go with the "and a half" if it's currently outside of 3 months in either direction of the kids birthday. So 2 years and 2 months is "two years old." 2 years and 7 months is "two and a half years old."

 

[Brony]

and that's for a first kid.

second kid is "one-ish, two-ish... dunno- might be 3" etc.

Yep, you can always spot if a parent has their first kid or if they have more than one.

Also, I don't call my kids 'spawn'. Must be a regional thing.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Up until 1 I'll use the appropriate month

From 16-20 months I'll just say he's 18 months

Anywhere between 12-16 months or 20-24 I'll put the onus on the other person to do the math

"He'll be 2 in April" or "he just turned 1 in August"

 

[The Big Guy]

and that's for a first kid.

second kid is "one-ish, two-ish... dunno- might be 3" etc.

Yep, you can always spot if a parent has their first kid or if they have more than one.Also, I don't call my kids 'spawn'. Must be a regional thing.

Spawn is more of a D-bag thing and not regional. See also crotchfruit as another example.

 

[BobbyLayne]

Up until 1 I'll use the appropriate month

From 16-20 months I'll just say he's 18 months

Anywhere between 12-16 months or 20-24 I'll put the onus on the other person to do the math

"He'll be 2 in April" or "he just turned 1 in August"

I just tell people to ask them if they wanna know.

 

[Scoresman]

and that's for a first kid.

second kid is "one-ish, two-ish... dunno- might be 3" etc.

Yep, you can always spot if a parent has their first kid or if they have more than one.Also, I don't call my kids 'spawn'. Must be a regional thing.

Spawn is more of a D-bag thing and not regional. See also crotchfruit as another example.

I sometimes use crotchspawn too but usually only when the parent/kid in question really makes me sick to my stomach.

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

57 months is typically a tough age for kids

 

[Captain Quinoa]

18 months was probably the last for us. The next age after that was probably "almost 2."

this.

year and a half... almost two... two. etc.

because really... nobody but you cares how many months they are.

This is the crux of the whole thing. Some parents think their kids are such unique snowflakes/gifts to the world, when in actuality nobody cares. This is just another example of it.

Also they like to compare milestones.

"Oh, you finally potty trained Johnny at 38 months? Gryphynn was potty trained at 31 months."

 

[BobbyLayne]

18 months was probably the last for us. The next age after that was probably "almost 2."

this.

year and a half... almost two... two. etc.

because really... nobody but you cares how many months they are.

This is the crux of the whole thing. Some parents think their kids are such unique snowflakes/gifts to the world, when in actuality nobody cares. This is just another example of it.

Also they like to compare milestones.

"Oh, you finally potty trained Johnny at 38 months? Gryphynn was potty trained at 31 months."

Ad infinitum. I caught onto that one quick & just stop taking the bait. And when they keep fishing ("how old was your Angel when she started using 2-3 word senetences?") I just make #### up.

"Oh, she's still not. Of course we kept her in a walker until she was 27 months. We're just letting her go at her own pace."

 

[El Floppo]

18 months was probably the last for us. The next age after that was probably "almost 2."

this.

year and a half... almost two... two. etc.

because really... nobody but you cares how many months they are.

This is the crux of the whole thing. Some parents think their kids are such unique snowflakes/gifts to the world, when in actuality nobody cares. This is just another example of it.

Also they like to compare milestones.

"Oh, you finally potty trained Johnny at 38 months? Gryphynn was potty trained at 31 months."

Ad infinitum. I caught onto that one quick & just stop taking the bait. And when they keep fishing ("how old was your Angel when she started using 2-3 word senetences?") I just make #### up.

"Oh, she's still not. Of course we kept her in a walker until she was 27 months. We're just letting her go at her own pace."

"but she's free to roam Hell's Kitchen on her own in her little walker... because we believe in that".

 

[BobbyLayne]

18 months was probably the last for us. The next age after that was probably "almost 2."

this.

year and a half... almost two... two. etc.

because really... nobody but you cares how many months they are.

This is the crux of the whole thing. Some parents think their kids are such unique snowflakes/gifts to the world, when in actuality nobody cares. This is just another example of it.

Also they like to compare milestones.

"Oh, you finally potty trained Johnny at 38 months? Gryphynn was potty trained at 31 months."

Ad infinitum. I caught onto that one quick & just stop taking the bait. And when they keep fishing ("how old was your Angel when she started using 2-3 word senetences?") I just make #### up.

"Oh, she's still not. Of course we kept her in a walker until she was 27 months. We're just letting her go at her own pace."

It takes a village, guy. Not like I want this job all to myself.

 

[elbowrm]

Mother in the OP reminds me of the mom in the Never episode of Louie - the kid who's allergic to carbon -

 

[Fat Nick]

My kid is 10 months old today. I'd never use months past 18 months.

 

[avoiding injuries]

11

 

[jon_mx]

I measure my kids age in minutes from conception.

 

[FUBAR]

First two - around 18 months, then it became "almost two years"

Third - up to 12 months

Fourth - 6 months.

If we have a fifth I'll be lucky if I can guess the age.

 

[NREC34]

I was just thinking about this today. Someone asked how old my daughter was and I just said 2. Instead of saying 2 years and 2 months or 26 months. So I'm going to say after 2 just say in years.

 

[PatsWillWin]

Round to the nearest half year usually.

 

[Insein]

I always gave my kids' ages in parsecs.

You mother####er