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How Much Do You Fight/Argue With Your Wife/SO (1 Viewer)

mrip541 said:
In my household, if she needs to explain why she's mad, or even say she's mad before I bring it up, I'm in 1000% more trouble, and the explanation will include a recitation of every remotely similar thing I've done in the last 10 years. And I need to be actively engaged throughout the entire lecture or I'll get, "you're just waiting for me to be done aren't you?" If that happens all hope is lost for at least a week.
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Gluck GB.

 
mrip541 said:
In my household, if she needs to explain why she's mad, or even say she's mad before I bring it up, I'm in 1000% more trouble, and the explanation will include a recitation of every remotely similar thing I've done in the last 10 years. And I need to be actively engaged throughout the entire lecture or I'll get, "you're just waiting for me to be done aren't you?" If that happens all hope is lost for at least a week.
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Hope is lost?  Are you kidding me?  If you are talking about the silent treatment, you are getting a gift.  I'd actually pay money for a week of silence.  

 
Prince Myshkin said:
You sound like you hate being married. Not a doormat though, so you got that going for you...
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Lol.  I don't hate it.  But it certainly doesn't define my life.  How long you been married?  I'm going on 17 years.  I haven't seen another ##### in over 20.  Damn, sounds pretty sad when you say it like that lol.  

 
Sabertooth said:
Lol.  I don't hate it.  But it certainly doesn't define my life.  How long you been married?  I'm going on 17 years.  I haven't seen another ##### in over 20.  Damn, sounds pretty sad when you say it like that lol.  
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Nearly 12 years married/15 together. 

You can look at it the other way too...20+ years of keeping one interested and available

 
I unloaded on my wife this am.  

I've been feeling lousy--fever, cough, diarrhea etc and yesterday, we drove to her parents which is 400 miles away.   We also had to make a 1 hour detour to pick up the dog.  I didn't want to make the trip (to her parents) but she insisted. We got in about 9pm and I went straight to bed but I was up until midnight or so. I woke up this morning when she came to bed after "spending the night the dog to make sure she was ok."  The woman at the kennel said that the dog had been vomiting.  I laid in bed for an hour and then got up to go to the pharmacy to get some medicine (which I asked my wife to pack but she forgot) and some fluids--I hadn't had anything to drink for ~12 hours and my urine was brown.  While on the shopping trip, I got a call from my MIL asking to pick up the medicine for the cat which my wife also forgot--30 minute detour.  

 When I got back, my wife was up, and I was in a horrible mood, feeling lousy, etc.  She followed me upstairs, and asked what was wrong and in no particular order, I told her:

1) She hadn't bothered to check on me in over 12 hours and I hadn't had anything to drink and was dehydrated;

2) She forgot the medicine I specifically asked her to pack;

3) She seemed much more concerned with the dog than with me;

4) I should not have made the trip and next time I won't;

5) And because of all that, I went to the pharmacy myself and got everything I need for the next day so there's no need to worry.  

When I was done, she was teary and I told her that I was rough on her but she deserved it.  Maybe I am delirious and not thinking straight and I will walk into WW3 when I emerge but I don't think so.  She's normally not like this.

 
chet said:
I unloaded on my wife this am.  

I've been feeling lousy--fever, cough, diarrhea etc and yesterday, we drove to her parents which is 400 miles away.   We also had to make a 1 hour detour to pick up the dog.  I didn't want to make the trip (to her parents) but she insisted. We got in about 9pm and I went straight to bed but I was up until midnight or so. I woke up this morning when she came to bed after "spending the night the dog to make sure she was ok."  The woman at the kennel said that the dog had been vomiting.  I laid in bed for an hour and then got up to go to the pharmacy to get some medicine (which I asked my wife to pack but she forgot) and some fluids--I hadn't had anything to drink for ~12 hours and my urine was brown.  While on the shopping trip, I got a call from my MIL asking to pick up the medicine for the cat which my wife also forgot--30 minute detour.  

 When I got back, my wife was up, and I was in a horrible mood, feeling lousy, etc.  She followed me upstairs, and asked what was wrong and in no particular order, I told her:

1) She hadn't bothered to check on me in over 12 hours and I hadn't had anything to drink and was dehydrated;

2) She forgot the medicine I specifically asked her to pack;

3) She seemed much more concerned with the dog than with me;

4) I should not have made the trip and next time I won't;

5) And because of all that, I went to the pharmacy myself and got everything I need for the next day so there's no need to worry.  

When I was done, she was teary and I told her that I was rough on her but she deserved it.  Maybe I am delirious and not thinking straight and I will walk into WW3 when I emerge but I don't think so.  She's normally not like this.
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Definitely save the dog. 

 
chet said:
I unloaded on my wife this am.  

I've been feeling lousy--fever, cough, diarrhea etc and yesterday, we drove to her parents which is 400 miles away.   We also had to make a 1 hour detour to pick up the dog.  I didn't want to make the trip (to her parents) but she insisted. We got in about 9pm and I went straight to bed but I was up until midnight or so. I woke up this morning when she came to bed after "spending the night the dog to make sure she was ok."  The woman at the kennel said that the dog had been vomiting.  I laid in bed for an hour and then got up to go to the pharmacy to get some medicine (which I asked my wife to pack but she forgot) and some fluids--I hadn't had anything to drink for ~12 hours and my urine was brown.  While on the shopping trip, I got a call from my MIL asking to pick up the medicine for the cat which my wife also forgot--30 minute detour.  

 When I got back, my wife was up, and I was in a horrible mood, feeling lousy, etc.  She followed me upstairs, and asked what was wrong and in no particular order, I told her:

1) She hadn't bothered to check on me in over 12 hours and I hadn't had anything to drink and was dehydrated;

2) She forgot the medicine I specifically asked her to pack;

3) She seemed much more concerned with the dog than with me;

4) I should not have made the trip and next time I won't;

5) And because of all that, I went to the pharmacy myself and got everything I need for the next day so there's no need to worry.  

When I was done, she was teary and I told her that I was rough on her but she deserved it.  Maybe I am delirious and not thinking straight and I will walk into WW3 when I emerge but I don't think so.  She's normally not like this.
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You sound like one of those dudes who's sort of a baby when you're sick.

 
Sabertooth said:
Lol.  I don't hate it.  But it certainly doesn't define my life.  How long you been married?  I'm going on 17 years.  I haven't seen another ##### in over 20.  Damn, sounds pretty sad when you say it like that lol.  
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And the ####### you could see now if you had the chance would not resemble the ####### you saw 20 years ago.

 
James Daulton said:
And the ####### you could see now if you had the chance would not resemble the ####### you saw 20 years ago.
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I actually had the opportunity to pound some strange a few months back and I passed.  Just wasn't worth the potential guilt.  But I would like to sign up for your news letter.  

 
Sabertooth said:
I actually had the opportunity to pound some strange a few months back and I passed.  Just wasn't worth the potential guilt.  But I would like to sign up for your news letter.  
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Was referring more in general to 20'is year old ##### vs 30+'ish year old #####.  Time does take its tole. 

 
Wife and I have occasional arguments. Usually over money or my general laziness around the house. We made a commitment to never go to bed or leave the home mad at each other. It works.

 
We have fought a lot over the last 5 years.  Most of it is because I've sucked at life and we don't have much money, but she is also very insecure.  There have been some pretty big mistakes made on both of our parts (me hiding things from her, her just leaving every important task/decision to me).  Those things caused some huge blowups (I actually left the house for about a week a few years ago).  We've been able to work through these issues.  I'm more straightforward with her and she has taken a more active role in our finances and life decisions.  Our disagreements are now more of what I would call normal and manageable.  We say what we need to and get through it in an hour or so.

 
chet said:
I unloaded on my wife this am.  

I've been feeling lousy--fever, cough, diarrhea etc and yesterday, we drove to her parents which is 400 miles away.   We also had to make a 1 hour detour to pick up the dog.  I didn't want to make the trip (to her parents) but she insisted. We got in about 9pm and I went straight to bed but I was up until midnight or so. I woke up this morning when she came to bed after "spending the night the dog to make sure she was ok."  The woman at the kennel said that the dog had been vomiting.  I laid in bed for an hour and then got up to go to the pharmacy to get some medicine (which I asked my wife to pack but she forgot) and some fluids--I hadn't had anything to drink for ~12 hours and my urine was brown.  While on the shopping trip, I got a call from my MIL asking to pick up the medicine for the cat which my wife also forgot--30 minute detour.  

 When I got back, my wife was up, and I was in a horrible mood, feeling lousy, etc.  She followed me upstairs, and asked what was wrong and in no particular order, I told her:

1) She hadn't bothered to check on me in over 12 hours and I hadn't had anything to drink and was dehydrated;

2) She forgot the medicine I specifically asked her to pack;

3) She seemed much more concerned with the dog than with me;

4) I should not have made the trip and next time I won't;

5) And because of all that, I went to the pharmacy myself and got everything I need for the next day so there's no need to worry.  

When I was done, she was teary and I told her that I was rough on her but she deserved it.  Maybe I am delirious and not thinking straight and I will walk into WW3 when I emerge but I don't think so.  She's normally not like this.
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Good lord.  I'll give you #4; traveling with all that sucks.  But lashing out on your wife because she didn't pamper you..... :rolleyes:   I'd be ashamed to admit #1.  

If you felt well enough to come here and post this, you are well enough to go to the pharmacy and take care of yourself.

 
skillz said:
I don't fight with the wife much.  That being said, one may be brewing considering she insisted this morning that I link with her on the Find My Friends app so she knows where I am throughout the day.  She just found out about the app for our daughter who got an Ipod Touch for Christmas.  She linked up with her and now thinks it would be a "good idea" for me to link up as well.  I don't want that leash around my neck.  If she wants me to know where I am she can ask me.  Should be an interesting night when I get home since I will be getting peppered with questions about why I don't want to link with her on the app.   
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:popcorn:

wife had these keychain tracking devices on her wishlist. she's forever misplacing her keys and phone, etc. so her justification for wanting them was so she'd stop losing her belongings.

part of me wanted to buy them for her because... every. single. time. we leave the house she has to find her purse/keys/phone but the other part of me was thinking "she's going to open tracking devices in front of her family for Christmas??"  i didn't want to have a restraining order filed against me on Christmas.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
you guys that never fight. you really never do anything to piss the wife off?

My Example:

I play hockey wed nights and I'll stay out late either in the locker room drinking or go hit a bar with the guys. I'm not sure why but we fight about this 2-3 times a year minimum. Same if I ever want to go out with any friends that doesn't include her, wether it be a happy hour or a Saturday night. I'll go toe to toe with these fights because I think she is wrong, I let her do whatever she wants without question and she does, just not as often as me because I have more guys friends that like to do stuff besides sit home.

 
James Daulton said:
Yesterday had a minor blowup with the wife.  We talked about it for about 1/2 hour then had some great makeup sex.

Awesome. 
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I tried to get a piece at lunch.  Was denied so I keyed her car as I walked past it in the garage.  I'll report back how the rest of the night went.  

 
Ned said:
Good lord.  I'll give you #4; traveling with all that sucks.  But lashing out on your wife because she didn't pamper you..... :rolleyes:   I'd be ashamed to admit #1.  

If you felt well enough to come here and post this, you are well enough to go to the pharmacy and take care of yourself.
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Meh, the forget the medicine thing was worth piling on about IMO.  The dude doesn't wanna go cuz he is legitimately sick, she makes him go regardless. She could have at least babied him a tad and brought what he asked.  He was piling on to make her feel bad and it worked....

 
mozzy84 said:
you guys that never fight. you really never do anything to piss the wife off?

My Example:

I play hockey wed nights and I'll stay out late either in the locker room drinking or go hit a bar with the guys. I'm not sure why but we fight about this 2-3 times a year minimum. Same if I ever want to go out with any friends that doesn't include her, wether it be a happy hour or a Saturday night. I'll go toe to toe with these fights because I think she is wrong, I let her do whatever she wants without question and she does, just not as often as me because I have more guys friends that like to do stuff besides sit home.
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Wait a minute here.  If there is a chance an action might upset your wife, you need to be a gentleman and put your kids first.  How dare you have your own balls. 

 
chet said:
I unloaded on my wife this am.  

I've been feeling lousy--fever, cough, diarrhea etc and yesterday, we drove to her parents which is 400 miles away.   We also had to make a 1 hour detour to pick up the dog.  I didn't want to make the trip (to her parents) but she insisted. We got in about 9pm and I went straight to bed but I was up until midnight or so. I woke up this morning when she came to bed after "spending the night the dog to make sure she was ok."  The woman at the kennel said that the dog had been vomiting.  I laid in bed for an hour and then got up to go to the pharmacy to get some medicine (which I asked my wife to pack but she forgot) and some fluids--I hadn't had anything to drink for ~12 hours and my urine was brown.  While on the shopping trip, I got a call from my MIL asking to pick up the medicine for the cat which my wife also forgot--30 minute detour.  

 When I got back, my wife was up, and I was in a horrible mood, feeling lousy, etc.  She followed me upstairs, and asked what was wrong and in no particular order, I told her:

1) She hadn't bothered to check on me in over 12 hours and I hadn't had anything to drink and was dehydrated;

2) She forgot the medicine I specifically asked her to pack;

3) She seemed much more concerned with the dog than with me;

4) I should not have made the trip and next time I won't;

5) And because of all that, I went to the pharmacy myself and got everything I need for the next day so there's no need to worry.  

When I was done, she was teary and I told her that I was rough on her but she deserved it.  Maybe I am delirious and not thinking straight and I will walk into WW3 when I emerge but I don't think so.  She's normally not like this.
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Sorry to say.  But this is all on you buddy.  No sarcasm.  You should have never gone if you didn't want to go.   I know you know that.  

 
Sabertooth said:
Sorry to say.  But this is all on you buddy.  No sarcasm.  You should have never gone if you didn't want to go.   I know you know that.  
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This is a good point, if I felt that crappy there really should have been a fight before they even left. If mine is insisting something and I don't agree with it I'm not just going to go along with it to make her happy when she is wrong, especially with an example like he just said.

 
mozzy84 said:
This is a good point, if I felt that crappy there really should have been a fight before they even left. If mine is insisting something and I don't agree with it I'm not just going to go along with it to make her happy when she is wrong, especially with an example like he just said.
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I wouldn't have gone and my in-laws live 10 minutes away. A 400 mile drive? f that.

 
mozzy84 said:
you guys that never fight. you really never do anything to piss the wife off?

My Example:

I play hockey wed nights and I'll stay out late either in the locker room drinking or go hit a bar with the guys. I'm not sure why but we fight about this 2-3 times a year minimum. Same if I ever want to go out with any friends that doesn't include her, wether it be a happy hour or a Saturday night. I'll go toe to toe with these fights because I think she is wrong, I let her do whatever she wants without question and she does, just not as often as me because I have more guys friends that like to do stuff besides sit home.
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Your example would not piss off my wife...as long as she knows about it ahead of time and can plan for it.  And most times if it were a spur of the moment thing she wouldn't mind, unless she had something going on already.  Now if it were a 4 or 5 night a week kind of thing, she would probably get pissed, but she would have every right to IMO.

 
Spin said:
Nice try, but no, not at all.

Yes, I make stupid mistakes. That particular night, the company I started just signed a big (for us) client, and I was pretty consumed with implementation thoughts. So, to say I was distracted, is an understatement. 

However, what the meds help with, is her reaction to the common mistakes and misunderstandings that everyone goes through. Instead of yelling and cussing, she's much more likely to approach me calmly, and explain what I did that made her mad, so that I'm aware of the issue and can concentrate on preventing it in the future. She's well aware that I can be pretty absent minded at times. I tend to be pretty obsessive about particular things, it's one of the burdens she understand that she will have to deal with forever. Just like I deal with her issues. It's how you handle those faults that decides if you fight or not.
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I need to get some of those meds for my wife. She too flies off irrationally. It gets very frustrating at times

 
Wife went out to see her friends for a few hours. I stayed home and played video games. She comes home and says "I see you didn't do much around the house while I was out". Wtf is it ok for her to go hang out with friends but I gotta do house chores while I'm home. Women

 
We used to fight a lot. I left her for several months when my daughter was 2.  We got back together and a year later had my son. There were still days where I knew deep down if I had no kids I'd be gone. 

She is 9 years older and had a lot more life and relationship experience than I. She came from a dysfunctional home. My home was very respectful. 

She was very selfish and I put everyone else's happiness before mine. This caused me to get #### on alot. I had to learn to essentially tell her to shut the eff up. That was hard for me to do, as generally speaking it's very hard for me to be ##### to anyone. I just don't have that personality.  I was very passive and avoided conflicts and I never thought that getting angry and "putting my wife in her place" was ever acceptable.  I hate to think that that method worked but honestly i think she started respecting me more when I stood up for myself, and she was not the type that I could rationally discuss things with to get to a resolution. I think the only way she would listen was when I would not care and tell her to go eff herself. 

We have been a lot better. She has changed as I have and more importantly I think we understand and accept who we are.

We'll still bicker from time to time. I don't let it get to me anymore. Meaning in the past I would look to do anything to make her not upset or angry. Now if she complains about something that is utter BS I just tell her to blow me and we move on. We'll talk to each other in this manner now. It's not in anger at all but more in a playful way if that make sense. 

It works for us. We're not perfect. We should have never gotten married in the 1at place. I can admit it was a mistake but we've made it work. We care for each other. She has her faults. I have mine. I don't think we have a super strong loving marriage that some seem to have but like I said we have made it work. We have a stable home made a decent life and  have 2 kids that are cool when they aren't annoying the crap out of us.

If I can summarize my feelings on my marriage, I would say my wife has brought out the worst in me while bringing out the best as well.

 
mr. furley said:
and here's where it veers off in to semantics

one person thinks a fight means coming to blows.

someone else thinks of a debate as a fight.

another thinks that a simple disagreement (i like my steak medium rare, you like yours medium well) is a fight.

to suggest that only idiots argue/disagree/fight is pretty insulting. it's human nature to have one's own opinion and sometimes that results in disagreement. disagreements sometimes lead to fights. 

if "intelligent adults" disagreed without fighting then we'd never have violence or war. 

just my opinion, but if you have never fought with your spouse then you're both holding down feelings, opinions and thoughts that would probably be best expressed before they explode.

it's not human nature to hold everything in. bad for the organs and all that. always playing the nice guy, "doing the right thing", going out of your way to "make sure your s.o. is happy" while sacrificing your own well being.... bad, bad, bad. for your mental and physical health.
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So despite claiming it's semantics, you recognize the difference between disagreeing and fighting.  If intelligent adults DIDN'T disagree without fighting, we'd live in a constant state of violence or war.

 
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