How often do you talk to your parents and see your parents? (1 Viewer)

[chauncey]

I talk to my mom once every week or two, dad once a month, step mom several times a year, brother once a month. See them twice a year, they live 1700 miles away.

After watching these videos over the weekend, and reading some of the posts in this thread I would like to increase the frequency. As I get older the years fly by and I know they will not be here forever. Even if it is just talking about the weather or Carolina basketball, or sharing a meal or playing golf in person, I know that those mundane moments are meaningful for both of us.

Heimkommen (To Come Home)

Silence of Love

My Dad is a Liar

Urbanhack, sorry to hear about your dad. I bet seeing him in the hospital and the time spent with your mom are some of the most cherished memories of their lives.

 

[Fennis]

My dad passed away due to a heart attack in August, since then I stop in to see my mom 2 - 3 times a week to make sure everything is going ok and to ensure her she is not alone. She lives minutes from where I work so stopping over my lunch is no big deal to me.

My dad had cardiac arrest on December 17 and passed away on January 3. I drove 2,000 miles during those weeks back and forth between Chicago and Ft. Wayne (where he was in the hospital). I took three straight weeks off from work and have been back twice now to see my mom. I plan on seeing her at least once a month now going forward and probably more since she will come to Chicago to see me and my sister (and her three kids) who live in the burbs. It's a two hour drive door to door.

sorry to hear about your dad.

Would your mom move closer to Chicago?

 

[urbanhack]

My dad passed away due to a heart attack in August, since then I stop in to see my mom 2 - 3 times a week to make sure everything is going ok and to ensure her she is not alone. She lives minutes from where I work so stopping over my lunch is no big deal to me.

My dad had cardiac arrest on December 17 and passed away on January 3. I drove 2,000 miles during those weeks back and forth between Chicago and Ft. Wayne (where he was in the hospital). I took three straight weeks off from work and have been back twice now to see my mom. I plan on seeing her at least once a month now going forward and probably more since she will come to Chicago to see me and my sister (and her three kids) who live in the burbs. It's a two hour drive door to door.

sorry to hear about your dad.

Would your mom move closer to Chicago?

probably not. she's centrally located to all three kids and she still has an active support group, friends and community in our home town.

 

[tonydead]

My dad passed away due to a heart attack in August, since then I stop in to see my mom 2 - 3 times a week to make sure everything is going ok and to ensure her she is not alone. She lives minutes from where I work so stopping over my lunch is no big deal to me.

My dad had cardiac arrest on December 17 and passed away on January 3. I drove 2,000 miles during those weeks back and forth between Chicago and Ft. Wayne (where he was in the hospital). I took three straight weeks off from work and have been back twice now to see my mom. I plan on seeing her at least once a month now going forward and probably more since she will come to Chicago to see me and my sister (and her three kids) who live in the burbs. It's a two hour drive door to door.

Similar. Thanks for reminding me to call mom.

 

[NutterButter]

I really envy those that genuinely enjoy talking to their parents as opposed to calling b/c of some self-imposed obligation or to check up on them. That's never been the case for me. That's one of my goals when raising my kids; to create that type of relationship where they'll call me b/c they actually want to talk to me and vice versa.

 

[jamny]

I really envy those that genuinely enjoy talking to their parents as opposed to calling b/c of some self-imposed obligation or to check up on them. That's never been the case for me.

Same here. My parents moved to Dallas when I was 18, so I never really had an adult relationship with them. Now, phone calls are usually the same each time, very superficial. I've found over the years that my mom isn't always honest with me about things because she tries to ignore reality and doesn't accept help well. Everything is always fine in her world even when we know it isn't. Then things come to a head when they should have been addressed earlier. We want to buy a condo for her and bring her back up to NY but it's not going well. We're going down for Mother's Day and hope to convince her. I would like to spend some quality time with her during her remaining years.

 

[NutterButter]

I really envy those that genuinely enjoy talking to their parents as opposed to calling b/c of some self-imposed obligation or to check up on them. That's never been the case for me.

Same here. My parents moved to Dallas when I was 18, so I never really had an adult relationship with them. Now, phone calls are usually the same each time, very superficial. I've found over the years that my mom isn't always honest with me about things because she tries to ignore reality and doesn't accept help well. Everything is always fine in her world even when we know it isn't. Then things come to a head when they should have been addressed earlier. We want to buy a condo for her and bring her back up to NY but it's not going well. We're going down for Mother's Day and hope to convince her. I would like to spend some quality time with her during her remaining years.

Yup, so superficial and I have zero desire to make that kind of conversation. Both my parents are close so I do get to see them a dozen times a year, but calling on the phone doesn't happen.

 

[Bull Dozier]

I really envy those that genuinely enjoy talking to their parents as opposed to calling b/c of some self-imposed obligation or to check up on them. That's never been the case for me.

Same here. My parents moved to Dallas when I was 18, so I never really had an adult relationship with them. Now, phone calls are usually the same each time, very superficial. I've found over the years that my mom isn't always honest with me about things because she tries to ignore reality and doesn't accept help well. Everything is always fine in her world even when we know it isn't. Then things come to a head when they should have been addressed earlier. We want to buy a condo for her and bring her back up to NY but it's not going well. We're going down for Mother's Day and hope to convince her. I would like to spend some quality time with her during her remaining years.

In a similar boat here. All of my immediate family still live in different suburbs but not far away. We see each other every few months, usually all together. My brother and sister are both closer to my parents, so they see them individually more often. I just never have the desire. I have personality conflicts with my dad, so small talk is always forced. I used to be close to my mom, but when I had issues with my siblings, she showed I couldn't trust her to keep private conversations private, so I felt like I really couldn't talk to her about important stuff. My brother is just a general jerk, and I don't enjoy any time with him. I've tried with my sister over the years, but she has a bad habit of saying stupid offensive things, and I have a bad habit of holding a grudge.

As has been said, I want to make sure my kids know that relationships, even blood family relationships, take work in order to be meaningful, and that nothing is more important to me than to make sure ours is meaningful to them. I would hate for my own kids to feel like they have to take time out of their busy adult lives in the future just to go through the motions instead of genuinely wanting to spend time together.