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How often does your wife say something like "I told you about this?" (1 Viewer)

fantasycurse42

fantasycurse42

Footballguy Jr.
I feel like this is common practice for women, am I wrong. 

Example - I had a client call this morning and had to make it from home since it was an early one. Told my wife she would have to walk our older one to school. Response:

Her: I told you I had a doctor's appointment today! Do you listen to anything I say?

Me: When was this?

Her: About a week ago, I remember you were on your computer doing work and said okay.

Me: :hot:  

 
fantasycurse42 said:
I feel like this is common practice for women, am I wrong. 

Example - I had a client call this morning and had to make it from home since it was an early one. Told my wife she would have to walk our older one to school. Response:

Her: I told you I had a doctor's appointment today! Do you listen to anything I say?

Me: When was this?

Her: About a week ago, I remember you were on your computer doing work and said okay.

Me: :hot:  
Click to expand...
You complain about everything like an old woman.

 
Mine usually has them reversed in her response.  She'll say "you don't listen to anything I say...  I told you about this 3 days ago."  

I am beginning to get away with it, sort of, since I'm well on my way into my 50s and we have Alzheimers in our families.  

 
Frequently...What I think happens is she tells he mother or a friend and when I question her she remembers it as telling me..

 
All the time.  Sometimes I can't tell if it is something so insignificant I simply didn't make a note of it, or it actually never happened.  Sometimes it is something important, and I can't believe I would actually forget.

However, the reverse also happens.  I will tell her something, have a vivid memory of the conversation, and she insists it never happened.  I can't blame her for "not listening to anything I say" because I don't talk to her about important stuff if her nose is in her phone, or she's watching something she is interested in on TV "like she will to me."

So, either (I think), she has a horrible memory or I have serious memory issues.

 
Ditka Butkus said:
Frequently...What I think happens is she tells he mother or a friend and when I question her she remembers it as telling me..
Click to expand...
This happens to me and my wife as well.  Sometimes (but not always) it's because I was at least in the same room at the time of the original conversation. 

 
My wife's problem is she tells me 100 insignificant details mixed in with 1 important one. Her letting me know that I need to pick up my daughter at 6:00 is a 10 minute story that includes every detail of her week. Im usually pretty good about picking out the important stuff, but its really a no-win situation.

 
At least 3 times a week. But we both work from home so we communicate more than most working married couples I'd imagine. 

She says

Her: "I'm gonna meet Mel for dinner next Wednesday night, ol?"  

Me: Ok!

*fast forward to Wednesday at 5:45 pm*

her: "Ok, the baby is fed. Put her down at 6:30. I'm leaving"

me: where are you going?

her: out with Mel. I told you about this!

me: ok but you've got to remind me day of so I can plan dinner. 

Her: Why?

me: because I don't keep your social calendar in my head a week out. 

 
mr roboto said:
At least 3 times a week. But we both work from home so we communicate more than most working married couples I'd imagine. 

She says

Her: "I'm gonna meet Mel for dinner next Wednesday night, ol?"  

Me: Ok!

*fast forward to Wednesday at 5:45 pm*

her: "Ok, the baby is fed. Put her down at 6:30. I'm leaving"

me: where are you going?

her: out with Mel. I told you about this!

me: ok but you've got to remind me day of so I can plan dinner. 

Her: Why?

me: because I don't keep your social calendar in my head a week out. 
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This!

Telling me about something 12 days in advance doesn't really move the needle

 
E-Z Glider said:
My wife's problem is she tells me 100 insignificant details mixed in with 1 important one. Her letting me know that I need to pick up my daughter at 6:00 is a 10 minute story that includes every detail of her week. Im usually pretty good about picking out the important stuff, but its really a no-win situation.
Click to expand...
This.  

 
Not often anymore. Created a shared google calendar for our schedules. My response after I did that "If it's not in the calendar, it doesn't exist". Took her about a month of hearing me say that until she got in the habit of putting everything on the calendar. 

 
Yes. She'll say something to me and I'll ask why she didn't say something before this and she'll say "we had a conversation about it". Now, I can see her saying something and me not hearing her or paying attention, but when she says we had a "conversation", that implies I responded and should be aware. I have to tell her that if we did indeed have a conversation, I wouldn't have the feeling of hearing about this for the first time. I would have some sort of recollection. She then sighs and walks away while I shake my head at her. 

 
Ditka Butkus said:
Frequently...What I think happens is she tells he mother or a friend and when I question her she remembers it as telling me..
Click to expand...
I cant tell you the number of times I have hate to recite a conversation verbatim AND include where and when it took place. It always ends up with "well, I guess I forgot."

 
MindCrime said:
Not often anymore. Created a shared google calendar for our schedules. My response after I did that "If it's not in the calendar, it doesn't exist". Took her about a month of hearing me say that until she got in the habit of putting everything on the calendar. 
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Did the exact same thing using the same phrase.   Issue solved.  #boldlaw 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Just today reminding me about taking my son to the orthodontist tomorrow.  "I told you about this a month ago".  My usual response is, "You say so much #### I don't know when to be listening so I just ignore all of it."  :D

 
E-Z Glider said:
My wife's problem is she tells me 100 insignificant details mixed in with 1 important one. Her letting me know that I need to pick up my daughter at 6:00 is a 10 minute story that includes every detail of her week. Im usually pretty good about picking out the important stuff, but its really a no-win situation.
Click to expand...
:goodposting:

 
Might just be better off paying alimony and CS and get back in the bachelor game with that sweet washboard stomach

 
fantasycurse42 said:
Is she serious?
Click to expand...
Yes, and in her defense I'm sure she did.  The problem is what E-Z posted about - it's mixed in with 100 other trivial things so I'm usually not actively listening.  If she said - pay attention and put this on your calendar, I need you to take AAAKid to the orthodontist on the 2nd and you'll need to WFH or leave early then I would put it on my calendar.  As it is it's lost with the Facebook updates, stuff going on at cheer practice or some new recipe she found.  I readily admit I'm a horrible listener.

 
This is my go to tactic when I have forgotten to take care of something. I tell her that we talked about it and she agreed to take ownership. 

Turn the tables. 

 
MindCrime said:
Not often anymore. Created a shared google calendar for our schedules. My response after I did that "If it's not in the calendar, it doesn't exist". Took her about a month of hearing me say that until she got in the habit of putting everything on the calendar. 
Click to expand...
We do the same thing. 

 
I pretty much block out anything my wife says.  I tell her to email me if she wants me to remember something.

 
It happens a lot.  It is likely that I do forget some things but there is no way I forgot all the things that she says.  I truly believe she meant to tell me some things but did not follow through.  It is frustrating because no matter what these disagreements always seem to end with me being at fault.  We will be married 10 years this summer and at this point these types of disagreements do not add up to much.  We have learned that these little bumps mean nothing in the big picture.  We work through the disagreements and get right back on to what we were doing. 

 
Constantly.  Although I question/doubt she remembers accurately.  Anyone see the Black Mirror episode where everyone could rewind and replay their experiences?  Man I want that... would settle SO many arguments.

 
DocHolliday said:
It happens a lot.  It is likely that I do forget some things but there is no way I forgot all the things that she says.  I truly believe she meant to tell me some things but did not follow through.  It is frustrating because no matter what these disagreements always seem to end with me being at fault.  We will be married 10 years this summer and at this point these types of disagreements do not add up to much.  We have learned that these little bumps mean nothing in the big picture.  We work through the disagreements and get right back on to what we were doing. 
Click to expand...
I think that would be the case for most here, but it does create a huge inconvenience at times. 

This morning I had an important call, watching my son who just turned one would be an example. Tough to concentrate and speak thoroughly when chasing a baby around. Eventually I had to just stick him in the crib, close the door, and let him scream.

 
My wife really believes I am going to remember she is getting a manicure and pedicure at 2pm on March 18? She gave that reminder today when I left for work. 

 
bagger said:
I have just told my wife if she doesn't send me an invite in outlook assume I have not remembered.
Click to expand...
That's bringing it to the next level.

MindCrime said:
Not often anymore. Created a shared google calendar for our schedules. My response after I did that "If it's not in the calendar, it doesn't exist". Took her about a month of hearing me say that until she got in the habit of putting everything on the calendar. 
Click to expand...
We started this, but had a couple of issues.  We put our two boys sports schedules on the calendar as well, so we all knew where everyone had to be.  Then my wife put her work schedules on the google calendar, so ten times throughout the day I (and my boys) would get reminders that she has a meeting, or a call to attend, or every other minute detail she needs a reminder of.

So, I told her the hand function of syncing multiple calendars.  Put your work stuff on your personal email calendar and sync it, then we don't see those.  Have something we need to be aware of?  Put it on the family calendar.  You can probably see where this is going...

Fast forward a couple of weeks, and she sends me a text of dinner options (she usually cooks). The following exchange occurs:

Me: Are you not home tonight?

Her: No, I'm going out to dinner with friends.  I put it on the calendar.

Me: *checks calendar* It's not on the calendar.

Her: Oops, well, it's on my calendar!

Back to square 1.

 
All the damn time.  I can never remember she has dinner plans when she tells me a week ahead of time.  Although, she has gotten better at reminding me a day before, so I can pick up my own dinner.

 
We sync important family stuff in our google calendars. It helps a lot with communication and cuts down misunderstandings. If I see something scheduled on the calendar, she doesn't need to verbalize it or send me a text or email about it.

 
EYLive said:
We sync important family stuff in our google calendars. It helps a lot with communication and cuts down misunderstandings. If I see something scheduled on the calendar, she doesn't need to verbalize it or send me a text or email about it.
Click to expand...
That makes too much sense.

 
fantasycurse42 said:
I feel like this is common practice for women, am I wrong. 

Example - I had a client call this morning and had to make it from home since it was an early one. Told my wife she would have to walk our older one to school. Response:

Her: I told you I had a doctor's appointment today! Do you listen to anything I say?

Me: When was this?

Her: About a week ago, I remember you were on your computer doing work and said okay.

Me: :hot:  
Click to expand...
"Let's cut to the chase Kitten, It probably DOES means I don't love you any more.

 
Bucky86 said:
All the damn time.  I can never remember she has dinner plans when she tells me a week ahead of time.  Although, she has gotten better at reminding me a day before, so I can pick up my own dinner.
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My wife and I do this but with sex. She lets me know when she's scheduled a day before so I can make other plans that night

 
EYLive said:
We sync important family stuff in our google calendars. It helps a lot with communication and cuts down misunderstandings. If I see something scheduled on the calendar, she doesn't need to verbalize it or send me a text or email about it.
Click to expand...
We do this too.  When we first started, I put different sexual acts on the calendar every night for a month.  Threw in some weekend afternoon and weekday morning stuff too.  FWIW... it didn't land :kicksrock:  

 
avoiding injuries said:
Yes. She'll say something to me and I'll ask why she didn't say something before this and she'll say "we had a conversation about it". Now, I can see her saying something and me not hearing her or paying attention, but when she says we had a "conversation", that implies I responded and should be aware. I have to tell her that if we did indeed have a conversation, I wouldn't have the feeling of hearing about this for the first time. I would have some sort of recollection. She then sighs and walks away while I shake my head at her. 
Click to expand...
Women love to rewrite history.   They believe whatever suits their whimsy.  

 
Watched "The Nice Guys" last night. Much better movie than I expected.

Bad guy: "He's one of those... what do you call it when a guy loses his balls?"
Russell Crowe: "Marriage?"

 
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