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How should I punish my son for bullying? (1 Viewer)

I agree that your son needs to understand that racist remarks are just never a good idea. I understand the game, but I think 11 years old is too young to understand the nuance of joking about racism.

I'm sure we've all done it. I made racist remarks all the time when I wax kid, but I was never a racist. But I certainly could've have gotten my ### beat for saying those things.

 
First of all, I think you are doing the right thing as a parent by consulting with the FFA for such matters. There really isn't any other group that is more qualified.

Next time though, please make sure to provide a pole for us to vote on. Then make sure to implement the punishment according to the results.

 
Did Eli get any sort of punishment for being a ##### rat #####? When this was posted, I thought we were talking about younger kids, but 11 year olds behaving like that is just inexcusable.

 
Tom Skerritt said:
I agree that your son needs to understand that racist remarks are just never a good idea. I understand the game, but I think 11 years old is too young to understand the nuance of joking about racism.

I'm sure we've all done it. I made racist remarks all the time when I wax kid, but I was never a racist. But I certainly could've have gotten my ### beat for saying those things.
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Do you remember the 70s and 80s? Jesus, we were walking around pulling the corners of our eyes saying "Chinese/Japanese," we were openly calling the Polish peoples idiots, women were insulted, jokes about chopped up babies were somehow funny, and we knew the color of the eyes of the pilots of the space shuttle (and knew what types of shampoo products they used). We knew why Helen Keller's dog jumped off a cliff, and how she burned the side of her face.

Childhood is weird. I can remember my mom schooling me on appropriate behavior behind closed doors.

But today things are just kind of . . . . woggley. . . .

 
Yeah I reached out to Eli's parents. We have mutual friends and I thought it would help since Eli went home crying over the incident.

 
SHIZNITTTT said:
Yeah I reached out to Eli's parents. We have mutual friends and I thought it would help since Eli went home crying over the incident.
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Made him cry? Hmmmmm. . . maybe your son is better with the insults than he gives himself credit for. You sure he didn't lay it on a little thicker than "you guys bombed Pearl Harbor"?

 
brun said:
SHIZNITTTT said:
Yeah I reached out to Eli's parents. We have mutual friends and I thought it would help since Eli went home crying over the incident.
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Nice, now your son has more material for the next time they play roast.
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yeah, Eli is more like E-cry, amirite? anyone? is this thing on?

 
This is not the whole story, or the real story. Something is missing here. If Eli actually participated in this game previously, he has no reason to go home crying. I suspect one of two things, either Eli is not actually a participant, and these games of "roast" are actually picking on people not in the inner circle. Or Eli is a constant target and the "really bad things" he's said previously were defensive/responsive.

But, if Eli is one of the kids roasting the others, and everyone has been included and had their turn of being roasted, I wouldn't give my kid any punishment. I would give him some feedback that there are certain topics that are off limits until you are older and can more fully understand the consequences of such words/topics. Otherwise, kids ragging on each other is a standard right of passage for this age.

 
Sweet J said:
Tom Skerritt said:
I agree that your son needs to understand that racist remarks are just never a good idea. I understand the game, but I think 11 years old is too young to understand the nuance of joking about racism.

I'm sure we've all done it. I made racist remarks all the time when I wax kid, but I was never a racist. But I certainly could've have gotten my ### beat for saying those things.
Click to expand...
Do you remember the 70s and 80s? Jesus, we were walking around pulling the corners of our eyes saying "Chinese/Japanese," we were openly calling the Polish peoples idiots, women were insulted, jokes about chopped up babies were somehow funny, and we knew the color of the eyes of the pilots of the space shuttle (and knew what types of shampoo products they used). We knew why Helen Keller's dog jumped off a cliff, and how she burned the side of her face.

Childhood is weird. I can remember my mom schooling me on appropriate behavior behind closed doors.

But today things are just kind of . . . . woggley. . . .
Click to expand...
I miss the good old days

 
Yeah the kids are little softer these days. I think emotionally when I was in jr. high you learned to give and take insults. The worst thing to do was to show that an insult actually caused you to feel bad. If guys saw that an insult "got to you" it was game over.

 
SHIZNITTTT said:
Mother of bullied son texted me back last night. She was thankful that I reached out to her family to let them know we were taking this very seriously. She went on to say these young men are trying to find their way and that junior high is very hard for some kids. She hopes that the boys can move on from this situation and become better men because of it.

I asked my son if he had apologized to Eli, and he responded that he did 3 times over the course of 2 days. The 2 hours in the hole seemed to have worked. Crossing fingers that racist son doesn't go to school today and start some sort of white power riot the last day before winter break (that is what it is called now not Christmas break).
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Good god, this nation is got to chit. Why in the heck does he need to dwell on this? Move on.

 
Christo said:
SHIZNITTTT said:
Yeah I reached out to Eli's parents. We have mutual friends and I thought it would help since Eli went home crying over the incident.
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NFW
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YEP! It happened. Our mutual friend called my wife with the story. I was beyond pissed at my son for making another kid cry. Now that the story is out I am pissed but understand the kids were playing and not being hurtful. Lessoned learned I hope.

Twin 2 has been calling his brother jailbird all day. Or, inmate 6 when speaking to him. At the restaurant today Twin 2 kept saying things like, on the outside we order food we don't fist fight each other for cornbread, and it will take time for you to adust out here in the freemans world where you don't have to fight for your cornbread and to keep your virginity all day and night.

 
SHIZNITTTT said:
Christo said:
SHIZNITTTT said:
Yeah I reached out to Eli's parents. We have mutual friends and I thought it would help since Eli went home crying over the incident.
Click to expand...
NFW
Click to expand...
YEP! It happened. Our mutual friend called my wife with the story. I was beyond pissed at my son for making another kid cry. Now that the story is out I am pissed but understand the kids were playing and not being hurtful. Lessoned learned I hope.Twin 2 has been calling his brother jailbird all day. Or, inmate 6 when speaking to him. At the restaurant today Twin 2 kept saying things like, on the outside we order food we don't fist fight each other for cornbread, and it will take time for you to adust out here in the freemans world where you don't have to fight for your cornbread and to keep your virginity all day and night.
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:rolleyes: Yeah, sounds like all of you have really learned a lesson....

 
Alex P Keaton said:
SHIZNITTTT said:
Christo said:
SHIZNITTTT said:
Yeah I reached out to Eli's parents. We have mutual friends and I thought it would help since Eli went home crying over the incident.
Click to expand...
NFW
Click to expand...
YEP! It happened. Our mutual friend called my wife with the story. I was beyond pissed at my son for making another kid cry. Now that the story is out I am pissed but understand the kids were playing and not being hurtful. Lessoned learned I hope.Twin 2 has been calling his brother jailbird all day. Or, inmate 6 when speaking to him. At the restaurant today Twin 2 kept saying things like, on the outside we order food we don't fist fight each other for cornbread, and it will take time for you to adust out here in the freemans world where you don't have to fight for your cornbread and to keep your virginity all day and night.
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:rolleyes: Yeah, sounds like all of you have really learned a lesson....
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What would you have his brother do act like nothing happened? Don't say anything about the situation and it will go away? You think I should punish his brother for making fun of him?

 
I dont like telling people how to parent, but I wouldnt have punished the kid at all. He got detention, great. That covered it. I'd have told him that son, there are people in this world who are way more sensitive to things than you or I and while it's an unfortunate thing to have to deal with, you need to realize this. I think you may have blown the whole thing out of proportion by punishing him in addition to the detention for a questionably offensive statement made in a game where the point is to make offensive statements. Now his brother's involved and your kid is probably still questioning what the big deal is along with the rest of us in the thread. I also would've told him to maybe not play Roast at school anymore to avoid this situation, not as a punishment but as a common sense thing going forward.

 
SHIZNITTTT said:
Christo said:
SHIZNITTTT said:
Yeah I reached out to Eli's parents. We have mutual friends and I thought it would help since Eli went home crying over the incident.
Click to expand...
NFW
Click to expand...
YEP! It happened. Our mutual friend called my wife with the story. I was beyond pissed at my son for making another kid cry. Now that the story is out I am pissed but understand the kids were playing and not being hurtful. Lessoned learned I hope.Twin 2 has been calling his brother jailbird all day. Or, inmate 6 when speaking to him. At the restaurant today Twin 2 kept saying things like, on the outside we order food we don't fist fight each other for cornbread, and it will take time for you to adust out here in the freemans world where you don't have to fight for your cornbread and to keep your virginity all day and night.
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The way you're handling this is odd.

 
Scoresman said:
I dont like telling people how to parent, but I wouldnt have punished the kid at all. He got detention, great. That covered it. I'd have told him that son, there are people in this world who are way more sensitive to things than you or I and while it's an unfortunate thing to have to deal with, you need to realize this. I think you may have blown the whole thing out of proportion by punishing him in addition to the detention for a questionably offensive statement made in a game where the point is to make offensive statements. Now his brother's involved and your kid is probably still questioning what the big deal is along with the rest of us in the thread. I also would've told him to maybe not play Roast at school anymore to avoid this situation, not as a punishment but as a common sense thing going forward.
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great advice and pretty much what we did. we did take away his iPhone for 1 week, but everything else is the same.

 
SHIZNITTTT said:
Christo said:
SHIZNITTTT said:
Yeah I reached out to Eli's parents. We have mutual friends and I thought it would help since Eli went home crying over the incident.
Click to expand...
NFW
Click to expand...
YEP! It happened. Our mutual friend called my wife with the story. I was beyond pissed at my son for making another kid cry. Now that the story is out I am pissed but understand the kids were playing and not being hurtful. Lessoned learned I hope.

Twin 2 has been calling his brother jailbird all day. Or, inmate 6 when speaking to him. At the restaurant today Twin 2 kept saying things like, on the outside we order food we don't fist fight each other for cornbread, and it will take time for you to adust out here in the freemans world where you don't have to fight for your cornbread and to keep your virginity all day and night.
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I don't get the hate for this post. Twin 2 is pretty funny.

 
Bull Dozier said:
SHIZNITTTT said:
Christo said:
SHIZNITTTT said:
Yeah I reached out to Eli's parents. We have mutual friends and I thought it would help since Eli went home crying over the incident.
Click to expand...
NFW
Click to expand...
YEP! It happened. Our mutual friend called my wife with the story. I was beyond pissed at my son for making another kid cry. Now that the story is out I am pissed but understand the kids were playing and not being hurtful. Lessoned learned I hope.

Twin 2 has been calling his brother jailbird all day. Or, inmate 6 when speaking to him. At the restaurant today Twin 2 kept saying things like, on the outside we order food we don't fist fight each other for cornbread, and it will take time for you to adust out here in the freemans world where you don't have to fight for your cornbread and to keep your virginity all day and night.
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I don't get the hate for this post. Twin 2 is pretty funny.
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yeah, I think T1 should tag in T2 for the next roast.

 
Well factually your kid was correct. I would not have punished him. It was a mutually agreed upon game, if the other boy got upset and told, tough. I'd have said to my boy after hearing his side not to play roast with him any more. Then I would have told him how the Japanese treated the Chinese during ww2. Just in case Eli insisted on playing the game.

I then would have called school and told them if I am forced to live with my white guilt then Eli can live with what the ancestors of his 10% did.

 
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