I don't understand stripping. (1 Viewer)

[Vanilla Guerrilla]

I know a guy who has married two strippers.

The first one was certifiably nuts and eventually took him for all his money. Had to file bankruptcy. No kids, but lots of fake pregnancy drama (even after they were broken up for over a year).

He didn't learn his lesson so he married another stripper 3 years later. This one eventually quit the biz, went back to school, became a schoolteacher, and by all accounts was a pillar of the community and a great mom to their 3 kids. Also, she filed for divorce after 8 years and took him for all his money.

He now spends most nights in various strip clubs around town, trying to convince various dancers to go out with him. It's not as easy when you're 40, drive a beat up Hyundai, and live in a crappy apartment on the wrong side of town. But there's always a woman willing to let him spend his paycheck on her...

I know a guy who married one.  Has like 5 kids now, went back to school and got his accounting degree.  One of the happier guys I know.

He heard me crack a joke about what the dollar dance would be like at his wedding reception.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Going to open one called Daddy Issues.  It will be next to my hooters rip off restaurant called Underboob.  You can sort of guess the attire of the wait staff form the name,

 

[joffer]

the lap dance is always better when the stripper is cryin’ 

 

[Tom Servo]

the lap dance is always better when the stripper is cryin’ 

I'm guessing that keeps it from going from 6 PM to midnight?

 

[rockaction]

the lap dance is always better when the stripper is cryin’ 

My friends enjoyed that song and thought it was a hoot. It always sort of made me feel empty and sad for the band that sang it. I know who they were, but no need to publicize them.

 

[joffer]

My friends enjoyed that song and thought it was a hoot. It always sort of made me feel empty and sad for the band that sang it. I know who they were, but no need to publicize them.

its funny and awful at the same time.

 

[rockaction]

its funny and awful at the same time.

Yeah, I can see it when one wants to revel in nihilism. Me? Just leaves me a bit empty and cold. I can't really embrace its awfulness, even though I know they're being ironic.

 

[[icon]]

My friends enjoyed that song and thought it was a hoot. It always sort of made me feel empty and sad for the band that sang it. I know who they were, but no need to publicize them.

Anyone that is put off by the off kilter nature of Bloodhound Gang’s lyrics hasn’t been paying attention. 

I’ve always admired the storytelling of “Kiss Me Where it Smells Funny” 

“You came twice last year like a Sears catalog
Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg
Well now you're seeing me but soon I'll have you seeing God
Cause girl I'll get you panting like you're Pavlov's dog

Like a DC-10 I'm guaranteed to go down
But baby your black box is the one that I found
I'll give you the gift that keeps on givin' it won't cost you any money
Then she grabbed me by the ears and said kiss me where it smell funny

So down I go like I'm 2000 Flushes
I can tell I'm doing something right by the way that she blushes
She's one that's speechless but I'm the one that's tongue tied
She's thinking holy mackerel I'm thinking tuna on the side

There must be something wrong with Al Pacino's nose
Cause the scent of a woman is like rotten tomatoes

Yea I'm snorkeling for clams and it doesn't matter if I wanna be
Don't come up for air until you kiss me where it smells funny

Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes

Yea I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties
And then drink it while eating out down at the Seafood Shanty”

(Loosely on topic)

mod note: lyrics are technically clean, if the context is offensive please delete w my apologies. 

 

[rockaction]

Anyone that is put off by the off kilter nature of Bloodhound Gang’s lyrics hasn’t been paying attention.

Yeah, you know, I guess I'm just not that into it. I can see their appeal, but not for me. I'm not really getting my underwear in a twist about it, but I have seen strippers crying on stage before and it's sort of a sad combination of wreckage and depravity. I think at that point, one tries to transcend commodity and society and just be human, is all.

A simple lament or complaint. 

 

[Leroy Hoard]

I for one understand completely. Young ladies take off their clothes and guys give them money.

 

[rockaction]

I for one understand completely. Young ladies take off their clothes and guys give them money.

This really is one of those "don't overthink it" exercises, isn't it?

 

[Joe Mammy]

The last time I went to a strip club was in Fort Walton Beach, I did a 3 club circuit including Sammys but ended up at a place called the Green Frog about 15 years ago.

I went to the bar and was immediately hit on for a dance by a really hot Asian with big fake tatas. She quoted me a lap dance for $13 that I could barely hear over the blasting Motley Crew anthem.

I agreed and she led me to like a barber's chair and hopped on board and proceeded to give me the best lap dance I ever had. When it was over I forked over $13. Her eyes grew large and she screamed with rage, "NO, $30!! $30!! $30!!". She ran and grabbed a ginormous bouncer who came over and asked what the trouble was. I explained I thought she said $13 and had paid her. He let me go and she followed me to the door cussing me out the whole way. Learn the language #####!

 

[shuke]

This is one of the strange parts to me.  If I'm looking at that, I don't want my friends hanging around with me.  I don't get the "comradarie" aspect of the activity.

We’re men.  We like to cheer for naked women.  Also men buy each other dances, so they don’t feel so guilty about buying for themselves.  

 

[shuke]

“Aloha” @CGRdrJoe

“top 5” @Otis

 

[Otis]

I can confirm shuke understands stripping. 

(He still struggles with rankings.) 

 

[Soulfly3]

spend hours and $$$ at a bar hoping to take a girl home, or spend 100$ + $20 lapdance and get laid 100% w a smoking hot girl w no followup necessary. 

that's why I used to go 10-15+yrs ago. it was a blast. 

barely ever go now, but if the boys are in for a sundowner trip, im game.

 

[glvsav37]

one of the last times I ever went was for a buddy's bachelor parties up in Mohegan Sun (or Foxwoods, basically the same). We took the ferry from LI up and decided to do our strip joint part of it 1st. We ended up at one dive and it sucked, so a few guys went to do some recon. On their way back, they stopped at an adult store and got a cheesy blow up doll for the groom, and put it on the front seat of the van. They come back, we go out, hilarity ensues. 

As we exit the van at the next bar, i hop out with the doll and walk into the establishment with it. Everyone is like "WTF are you doing?" But it turned out to be the hit of the night. Dancers were all over it, they took it on stage with them, random guys were walking up and jamming singles in her 'holes.' It was a blast. 

 

[Stompin' Tom Connors]

but if the boys are in for a sundowner trip, im game.

Nice.

 

[Soulfly3]

Nice.

it's become a bit of a "gangster" hangout now, but it'll always be a tourist haven.  but can't beat a strip club w a motel next door  

 

[Megatron]

I thought this was going to be about paint.

I thought it was going to be about electrical wiring.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

I thought it was going to be about electrical wiring.

You guys gotta get your minds in the gutter.

 

[Megatron]

You guys gotta get your minds in the gutter.

Reminds me...I should clean mine out. Probably leaves in there from the last storm. Thanks Leroy!