Tom Skerritt
Footballguy
And I am struggling with the decision to do so. I’ve hurt him, and I feel bad about that. But I also think that it was something that needed to happen. Gonna just put this here for feedback/constructive criticism.
My parents divorced when I was in grade school. Only seen them in the same room together once since then, at my brother’s wedding. And it was extremely uncomfortable.
My dad has been with my step-mom for 25-30 years. She has two boys from a previous marriage. My mother has not had any meaningful relationships since the divorce that I know of.
My issue is that my father has not shown much, if any, interest in having a relationship with my kids. They are older now, my son is in college, my daughter is in high school. We live roughly 200 miles apart in the same state. I have lived in my current house for almost 20 years. He and my step-mom have made a dedicated visit to see me and my family maybe twice. They never came to any of my kids’ birthday parties as young children. Never came to any important life events. And so on and so forth. I have made many trips to visit them.
It has bothered me for a long time. I always made excuses for my father. He was busy. He worked a lot. I never wanted to rock the boat. I am afraid of confrontation. I love my father very much and I did not want to upset him or make him feel bad.
Fast forward to recent years. My father is now retired. Nothing has changed except for the fact that I have increasingly talked myself into saying something to him.
I was talking to my father on the phone a few weeks ago, and he told me he was in my town just the weekend before. He and my step-mom came to down to celebrate the birthday of one of her sons. And they also visited some of my step-mom’s other relatives and friends. They did not tell us they were in town, and obviously we did not see them.
During this phone conversation, my dad tells me that he and my step-mom will be on a two week vacation out of state. They will be less than 100 miles from where my son is away at college. He asks for my son’s contact information (yes, he doesn’t already have it), and says that he wants to hopefully get to see him while on vacation.
It is now three weeks later, and my dad tells me that he had a great vacation. He tells me that he didn’t have time to reach out to my son, his grandson, who he hasn’t seen or talked to in over a year. Too complicated apparently.
Long story short, it set me off. I was as kind as I could be, but I told him that it made me very upset. It brought up all of the other crap that has bothered me over the years. I laid it all out. And so I have hurt him. And I feel awful about it. But I also think it was something that he needed to hear.
My parents divorced when I was in grade school. Only seen them in the same room together once since then, at my brother’s wedding. And it was extremely uncomfortable.
My dad has been with my step-mom for 25-30 years. She has two boys from a previous marriage. My mother has not had any meaningful relationships since the divorce that I know of.
My issue is that my father has not shown much, if any, interest in having a relationship with my kids. They are older now, my son is in college, my daughter is in high school. We live roughly 200 miles apart in the same state. I have lived in my current house for almost 20 years. He and my step-mom have made a dedicated visit to see me and my family maybe twice. They never came to any of my kids’ birthday parties as young children. Never came to any important life events. And so on and so forth. I have made many trips to visit them.
It has bothered me for a long time. I always made excuses for my father. He was busy. He worked a lot. I never wanted to rock the boat. I am afraid of confrontation. I love my father very much and I did not want to upset him or make him feel bad.
Fast forward to recent years. My father is now retired. Nothing has changed except for the fact that I have increasingly talked myself into saying something to him.
I was talking to my father on the phone a few weeks ago, and he told me he was in my town just the weekend before. He and my step-mom came to down to celebrate the birthday of one of her sons. And they also visited some of my step-mom’s other relatives and friends. They did not tell us they were in town, and obviously we did not see them.
During this phone conversation, my dad tells me that he and my step-mom will be on a two week vacation out of state. They will be less than 100 miles from where my son is away at college. He asks for my son’s contact information (yes, he doesn’t already have it), and says that he wants to hopefully get to see him while on vacation.
It is now three weeks later, and my dad tells me that he had a great vacation. He tells me that he didn’t have time to reach out to my son, his grandson, who he hasn’t seen or talked to in over a year. Too complicated apparently.
Long story short, it set me off. I was as kind as I could be, but I told him that it made me very upset. It brought up all of the other crap that has bothered me over the years. I laid it all out. And so I have hurt him. And I feel awful about it. But I also think it was something that he needed to hear.
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