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I killed a raccoon (1 Viewer)

My sister was headed down I-95 a few years back, following a tractor-trailer at 80 mph.

Doe came out of nowhere, right in front of the truck. Sister said it just exploded and her car got sprayed with blood and guts.

Bright side? Free venison.
Were they able to identify the victim?

 
When I used to work second shift, I'd be driving home on the Merritt Parkway in CT every night at 12:30 or 1AM. On weeknights it was pretty desolate and most of the route was flanked by woods. One night I'm driving, there's not another car on the road, and suddenly I see a HUGE buck deer standing in the right lane about 30 feet ahead. He's just standing there like a statue, sideways. I'm in the left lane doing about 65. There was no time to even honk. I pass about 2 feet past his antlers, my heart in my throat, and in my rearview mirror I see him gallop into the woods. It was so unexpected and surreal that I thought I was hallucinating until I saw him actually move. Woulda been a mess if I hit him.

Always drove with the high beams and scanned the road carefully after that.
In my college years I had a 200 mile trip I'd make back home a few times a year. Most of the driving was late at night down a old 2 lane highway with little traffic. Usually drove with my low beams. If I went 10+ minutes without seeing another car I'd flip on my high beams. One night I randomly flipped on my highs and I immediately saw a buck standing in the middle of my lane. I didn't see him at all before I switched to high beams. I slammed on my brakes, stopping with about 5 feet to spare. If I hadn't turned on my high beams at just that moment I'm sure I would have either plowed into him and/or crashed into the ditch going about 60 mph.

 
No, Im not taking pics. I am seriously nauseous about this, and I dont want to go under the hood to clean it either.

With age Ive become sensitive to this stuff, and basically stopped hunting because of it too. I love animals.
I know how you feel after my run in with rabbits while cutting my lawn. I took out a whole family and still feel bad.

 
Ok. So I drove to the local farms to see if anyone would be outside working, but I think the -25 kept them inside for the most part. So I pulled over beside one of their "portable homes" and knocked on the door. A man answered it and I asked if I could talk to them about some side work.

Invited me in and asked if I wanted a drink (Mexicans are seriously friendly), and I declined and I asked if anyone wanted to make $50 doing a quick cleanup for me.

Someone shouted, "If it's a body I want $100" and they all started laughing...

"It is a body" I said... "Of an animal"...

A few guys agreed to come with me, but when the one smallish gentleman asked, the other guys allowed him to go. No idea why.

Anyways, he hops in and I gave him the $50 up front, so he knew I wasnt gonna screw him. took him to my place, about 5km away. we talked, and he introduces himself as Icazbalseta (or something) but told me to call him Icaz. So I did.

I explained what happened and he laughed. "No problem for me" he said.. He was pretty shy but very friendly. I asked how life was, how he was dealing with the cold etc. He hated the cold, but loved Canada, loved the $, and wanted to move his family here... but with the amount he makes here, he gets to live like a king back home... here, he wouldnt be close to that, so he said he'd likely keep doing the 6mos here, 6mos there deal.

I told him I wont stick around for the cleaning.. didnt wanna see it. He just laughed and took care of it.. removed the mangled carcass and told me at -25 he wasnt gonna be hosing down the blood under the hood, which made obvious sense... he also told me it WAS a cat. ####.

I invited him in for a warm drink, so we shared a couple glasses of Crown Royal Reserve. Warms ya up real nice, and I rolled a joint and he took a few hits. Said he didnt love the weed in Canada as it's too potent (Jamaican farm hands here HATE canadian weed, claiming it makes them ######ed). we talked a bit, mostly him telling me stories. Genuine guy.

We got back in my car and I asked if he needed to go anywhere (in the middle of nowhere they only can ride their bikes, or they get a weekly trip via chartered bus to the grocery store) and he told me not to worry, but I insisted.

Took him to the drugstore for some chap stick, cough medicine and some gum. I took care of the bill, even tho he really didnt want me to.

Took him back and he thanked me profusely for the $50. I thanks him doubly for the cleanup. He then invited me for dinner this week, said they have a big "potluck" type deal on the weekend... I'll agreed on the spot when he told me theyd have mole negro on the menu.

Worked out great today, aside from killing someones pet.. That really killed my buzz

 
Cat Stew
Ingredients:
1 large housecat
3 garlic cloves
1 onion
8 ounces bacon, in one piece

bouquet garni
10 sprigs parsley
10 sprigs thyme
1 bay leaf
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup red wine
1 cup small onion
1 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon butter
12 new potatoes
fresh herb (chervil)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper

Directions:
1. Chop cat into 12 pieces, discard the head and feet.
2. Chop the onion and garlic finely.
3. Slice and dice the bacon.
4. Make a bouquet garni by tying together the parsley, thyme and bay leaf with string.
5. Sear the cat pieces in olive oil, until lightly browned, remove from casserole.
6. In the same pan, fry garlic, onion and the bouquet garni.
7. Add the bacon and allow to color lightly.
8. Pour off excess fat.
9. Return cat to pan and deglaze with the red wine.
10. Add 3 cups water, cover and cook for 1 hour 45 minutes.
11. Peel small onions and remove root ends.
12. Rinse well.
13. Cook the onions in water to cover, add sugar, butter, salt and pepper.
14. Cook until all water has evaporated and the sauce is caramelized.
15. (20 min) Peel and cut potatoes into narrow rectangles.
16. Add potatoes to cat stew after the stew has been cooking for 90 minutes.
17. Cook covered until tender.
18. Serve stew with caramelized onions and garnish with chopped chervil.

 
Can we get a title change please???

Something like, "I killed a wild cat, was too much of a ##### to clean it myself so I paid some local mexican to do it, smoked weed with him, bought him gifts and am now going to join him and his people for real mexican food"

Or

"I killed a cat" works too..

 
Soulfly3 said:
Been driving for 15years, and the only thing Ive killed is the engine of my old Acura and a bird I hit on the highway...

Until just a few minutes ago.

It's -25 out right now... started the car and the sound I heard still has my stomach turning... Opening the hood, and Im about 85% sure there a raccoon mangled under there. Or a cat.

#### me.
My friend took down half a family of raccoons, he felt terrible.

"I destroyed a family."

 
The guy that ran over a family of rabbits with his lawnmower still takes the cake when it comes to accidental animal deaths. I need to find that thread.

 
Sucks that it was a cat. I love animals too, but raccoons? #### those guys. Those guys can all die in a fire. They wear masks for a reason, you know. They're evil.

 
Soulfly3 said:
KCitons said:
Are you going to pay the $200 to have it cremated?
Im going to take my other car over to the farm and offer a Jamaican or Mexican worker a 50 to clean it up.

Im that desperate
Post #6 and we are already playing the race car and rich yuppy who now loves puppies.

 
Sucks that it was a cat. I love animals too, but raccoons? #### those guys. Those guys can all die in a fire. They wear masks for a reason, you know. They're evil.
Theyre ruthless.

Camping, I fear raccoons moreso than bears. No exaggeration
Shortly after I moved into this neighborhood I started riding my bike in the evenings to get some exercise. I had to stop riding on Monday and Wednesday nights because trash days are Tuesday/Thursday and the raccoons come out in force to root though people's cans. They are utterly fearless. Several times one would get in front of me and I had to move out of its way. Screw that. I just know they're biding their time, waiting for me to get a little too close before they attack.

 
Vrana said:
All joking aside, I've been driving for 8 years and hit my first animal about a month ago. It was a raccoon that ran right out in front of me.

It was a pretty big bummer. Poor little guy never had a chance.

Came this close to hitting a deer a few years back. That was terrifying. Also frequently have squirrels play chicken with my car. I don't think I would feel bad about hitting one of those jerks.
back in November I was on my way to my deer hunting spot when a doe ran out in front of my truck. I saw her coming so I slowed way down. Unfortunately the Prius coming the other way didn't see her and plowed right into it. The deer tried jumping the hood and smashed the windshield. She hit the ground, barrel rolled twice, and hopped right back up. She U turned and ran back across in front of me back into the woods. I drove up to the Prius to see if they were OK and the look of :shock: on their face was priceless. Crazy scene.

 
Sucks that it was a cat. I love animals too, but raccoons? #### those guys. Those guys can all die in a fire. They wear masks for a reason, you know. They're evil.
Theyre ruthless.Camping, I fear raccoons moreso than bears. No exaggeration
Shortly after I moved into this neighborhood I started riding my bike in the evenings to get some exercise. I had to stop riding on Monday and Wednesday nights because trash days are Tuesday/Thursday and the raccoons come out in force to root though people's cans. They are utterly fearless. Several times one would get in front of me and I had to move out of its way. Screw that. I just know they're biding their time, waiting for me to get a little too close before they attack.
Ugh I fricken hate raccoons. I headed out early for a deer hunt after lunch and took a quick nap. I woke up and see this raccoon walking directly below my treestand. I forget what noise I made but the thing turned right around, backed itself up in a bush and was growling/snarling like a cougar or some big cat. I froze and he eventually turned and walked away. I swore the thing was coming up the tree after me to eat my liver.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Politician Spock said:
ClownCausedChaos2 said:
T Bell said:
ClownCausedChaos2 said:
My sister was headed down I-95 a few years back, following a tractor-trailer at 80 mph.

Doe came out of nowhere, right in front of the truck. Sister said it just exploded and her car got sprayed with blood and guts.

Bright side? Free venison.
Were they able to identify the victim?
I don't get it.
John Doe
:hifive:

(Well, I was thinking Jane Doe, but I'll award the points.)

 
Last edited by a moderator:
playin4beer said:
Can we get a title change please???

Something like, "I killed a wild cat, was too much of a ##### to clean it myself so I paid some local mexican to do it, smoked weed with him, bought him gifts and am now going to join him and his people for real mexican food"

Or

"I killed a cat" works too..
I think they just call it food.

 
Got stared down by a huge coon the other night while working...damn thing was the size of a bulldog...and fearless...it got up on its hind legs and practically dared me to come at it. Needless to say I backed off while never looking away.

 
If any of you have ever camped/fished in the North Bay/Algonquin area of Ontario, they can back me up here..

There are raccoon that are legit the size of pigs there. ####### monsters. Ive had them try to rip thru my tent to get at food while we were inside the damn tent...

only time Ive smashed an animal square across the face w my boot.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
The Mexican part of this story is hard for me to believe. You paid him $50? A Mexican would have done this for $20 in the states.

 
Sucks that it was a cat. I love animals too, but raccoons? #### those guys. Those guys can all die in a fire. They wear masks for a reason, you know. They're evil.
Theyre ruthless.Camping, I fear raccoons moreso than bears. No exaggeration
Shortly after I moved into this neighborhood I started riding my bike in the evenings to get some exercise. I had to stop riding on Monday and Wednesday nights because trash days are Tuesday/Thursday and the raccoons come out in force to root though people's cans. They are utterly fearless. Several times one would get in front of me and I had to move out of its way. Screw that. I just know they're biding their time, waiting for me to get a little too close before they attack.
Ugh I fricken hate raccoons. I headed out early for a deer hunt after lunch and took a quick nap. I woke up and see this raccoon walking directly below my treestand. I forget what noise I made but the thing turned right around, backed itself up in a bush and was growling/snarling like a cougar or some big cat. I froze and he eventually turned and walked away. I swore the thing was coming up the tree after me to eat my liver.
Finding a raccoon IN your tree strand sure wakes you up in the morning. Worse than that is finding raccoon crap in your tree stand.

 
Soulfly3 said:
Ok. So I drove to the local farms to see if anyone would be outside working, but I think the -25 kept them inside for the most part. So I pulled over beside one of their "portable homes" and knocked on the door. A man answered it and I asked if I could talk to them about some side work.

Invited me in and asked if I wanted a drink (Mexicans are seriously friendly), and I declined and I asked if anyone wanted to make $50 doing a quick cleanup for me.

Someone shouted, "If it's a body I want $100" and they all started laughing...

"It is a body" I said... "Of an animal"...

A few guys agreed to come with me, but when the one smallish gentleman asked, the other guys allowed him to go. No idea why.

Anyways, he hops in and I gave him the $50 up front, so he knew I wasnt gonna screw him. took him to my place, about 5km away. we talked, and he introduces himself as Icazbalseta (or something) but told me to call him Icaz. So I did.

I explained what happened and he laughed. "No problem for me" he said.. He was pretty shy but very friendly. I asked how life was, how he was dealing with the cold etc. He hated the cold, but loved Canada, loved the $, and wanted to move his family here... but with the amount he makes here, he gets to live like a king back home... here, he wouldnt be close to that, so he said he'd likely keep doing the 6mos here, 6mos there deal.

I told him I wont stick around for the cleaning.. didnt wanna see it. He just laughed and took care of it.. removed the mangled carcass and told me at -25 he wasnt gonna be hosing down the blood under the hood, which made obvious sense... he also told me it WAS a cat. ####.

I invited him in for a warm drink, so we shared a couple glasses of Crown Royal Reserve. Warms ya up real nice, and I rolled a joint and he took a few hits. Said he didnt love the weed in Canada as it's too potent (Jamaican farm hands here HATE canadian weed, claiming it makes them ######ed). we talked a bit, mostly him telling me stories. Genuine guy.

We got back in my car and I asked if he needed to go anywhere (in the middle of nowhere they only can ride their bikes, or they get a weekly trip via chartered bus to the grocery store) and he told me not to worry, but I insisted.

Took him to the drugstore for some chap stick, cough medicine and some gum. I took care of the bill, even tho he really didnt want me to.

Took him back and he thanked me profusely for the $50. I thanks him doubly for the cleanup. He then invited me for dinner this week, said they have a big "potluck" type deal on the weekend... I'll agreed on the spot when he told me theyd have mole negro on the menu.

Worked out great today, aside from killing someones pet.. That really killed my buzz
:lmao: wtf... is this real?

 
Soulfly3 said:
Worked out great today, aside from killing someones pet.. That really killed my buzz
If the thing was even owned by someone, they killed it by letting it out in -25 weather. A cat is basically a glorified hamster anyway. Just get another one and it won't behave any different.

 
The Mexican part of this story is hard for me to believe. You paid him $50? A Mexican would have done this for $20 in the states.
It's Canadian money. It's practically worthless.
it was on par with American $ not 3 months back or so...

now its down... 91c on the dollar or so.

Anyways... I was gonna low ball on 20$, but I felt ####ty for doing that, as I explained earlier... 50$ was a fair deal for that disaster, and the fact he was gonna be on the ground on -25 weather

 
Sucks that it was a cat. I love animals too, but raccoons? #### those guys. Those guys can all die in a fire. They wear masks for a reason, you know. They're evil.
Theyre ruthless.Camping, I fear raccoons moreso than bears. No exaggeration
Shortly after I moved into this neighborhood I started riding my bike in the evenings to get some exercise. I had to stop riding on Monday and Wednesday nights because trash days are Tuesday/Thursday and the raccoons come out in force to root though people's cans. They are utterly fearless. Several times one would get in front of me and I had to move out of its way. Screw that. I just know they're biding their time, waiting for me to get a little too close before they attack.
Ugh I fricken hate raccoons. I headed out early for a deer hunt after lunch and took a quick nap. I woke up and see this raccoon walking directly below my treestand. I forget what noise I made but the thing turned right around, backed itself up in a bush and was growling/snarling like a cougar or some big cat. I froze and he eventually turned and walked away. I swore the thing was coming up the tree after me to eat my liver.
So presumably you had a gun?

 
The Mexican part of this story is hard for me to believe. You paid him $50? A Mexican would have done this for $20 in the states.
It's Canadian money. It's practically worthless.
it was on par with American $ not 3 months back or so...

now its down... 91c on the dollar or so.

Anyways... I was gonna low ball on 20$, but I felt ####ty for doing that, as I explained earlier... 50$ was a fair deal for that disaster, and the fact he was gonna be on the ground on -25 weather
It's just Bitcoins with Mounties on them.

 
The Mexican part of this story is hard for me to believe. You paid him $50? A Mexican would have done this for $20 in the states.
It's Canadian money. It's practically worthless.
it was on par with American $ not 3 months back or so...

now its down... 91c on the dollar or so.

Anyways... I was gonna low ball on 20$, but I felt ####ty for doing that, as I explained earlier... 50$ was a fair deal for that disaster, and the fact he was gonna be on the ground on -25 weather
It's just Bitcoins with Mounties on them.
Ive never had to think about this... But we shockingly dont have $$ w mounties on it.

Maple leafs, beavers, boats, moose, loon, bear on our coins.

Hockey, natives and other random #### on our bills.

 
:lol:

If it's a cat I'd feel a little bad, but would quickly shrug it off. It's a cat after all... Raccoon? Hell, I'll aim for those nasty bastards. Had a family living in our attic one year of this house we were renting. Quickly went from "Aw.. How cute" to "Get these ####### raccoons out the damn attic!!!"

Hate those bastards.

 

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