I need help for a friend in a desperate situation in California (1 Viewer)

[Corporation]

I have a friend who I've known for more than 10 years who lives in California (somewhere between LA and Pasadena). He is unfortunately an alcoholic and has tried rehab unsuccessfully a few times. He has not been able to work for years and has lived off a meager inheritance from when his parents passed away (which drove him to drink even more heavily). He has been hospitalized a few times, but they never keep him long enough to complete a detox program. His brother "borrowed" money from him, and he resorted to selling his personal items to keep renting a room in a house in a bad location. His brother has ghosted him and will not repay the money (even if he did, I think it was in the neighborhood of $4K, which would only get him 6 months of rent). He is being evicted and now plans to live in his car.

He has recently said a few things like "I have a few personal items that I want you guys to have". We continue to talk to him about getting help and government assistance, but almost no progress has been made. He has said that he is "not really" thinking about taking his life but if he passes it wouldn't be the worst thing either. I don't know if that is a strong enough statement to request a 5150 (and I'm not even sure how to start the process if that is strong enough).

Any thoughts on what to do? Any government agency or charitable outfit to contact? I'm not sure if he would go voluntarily, but if we set something up he may go.

Thanks for any help and insight.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

Speaking from experience - He’s got to want it on his own and no matter what you say or do will change that.

I’m sorry and I hope he gets the help he needs and best wishes to you for being a good friend.

 

[Corporation]

I hear you, it's just heartbreaking. He says he wants help, but then I speak to him the next day and "he didn't have time" to go. He has said they (a government agency) has put him on hold for hours, which wouldn't be surprising. I suggested driving down there and just waiting to see someone in person but he won't move.

If I were closer I feel like I could just pick him up and take him somewhere. We have a friend who lives relatively close but he doesn't know who to contact. I want to find an agency or something that will agree to take him, then have my other friend deliver him. I just don't know where to start.

You hear so many people say after someone takes their life "I wish I would have known so I could do something". I feel like I can see thing thing coming fast down the road and feel powerless to stop it.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

You can look up a local AA meeting. He can go, or get the other friend to take him. There will be people there that can guide him. If he wants it. But as steadymobbin said, if he doesn’t want to do it, there’s not much you can do.

 

[Judge Smails]

Really sorry to hear this. Sounds like somebody needs to meet with him face to face, and soon. Any relatives of his in So Cal, or other friends?

 

[Drunken knight]

You can look up a local AA meeting. He can go, or get the other friend to take him. There will be people there that can guide him. If he wants it. But as steadymobbin said, if he doesn’t want to do it, there’s not much you can do.

depression and/or anxiety can inhibit thoughts, behavior, and motivation.

he likely is needing a social service that can lay it out there and help get the process started.

 

[Corporation]

You can look up a local AA meeting. He can go, or get the other friend to take him. There will be people there that can guide him. If he wants it. But as steadymobbin said, if he doesn’t want to do it, there’s not much you can do.

depression and/or anxiety can inhibit thoughts, behavior, and motivation.

he likely is needing a social service that can lay it out there and help get the process started.

Any idea which service in the LA area might fit?

 

[Corporation]

Really sorry to hear this. Sounds like somebody needs to meet with him face to face, and soon. Any relatives of his in So Cal, or other friends?

Because of his problems, he has alienated his brother and sister. His brother then took advantage of him by taking his money. He always wants to help people even when he can't help himself. We have the one mutual friend who lives 45 minutes away but he has other people he's trying to take care of. If I could call and try to set something up I think he'd be willing to get him there. We just don't know where to start.

 

[Drunken knight]

You can look up a local AA meeting. He can go, or get the other friend to take him. There will be people there that can guide him. If he wants it. But as steadymobbin said, if he doesn’t want to do it, there’s not much you can do.

depression and/or anxiety can inhibit thoughts, behavior, and motivation.

he likely is needing a social service that can lay it out there and help get the process started.

Any idea which service in the LA area might fit?

unfortunately, i don't....

 

[Corporation]

I've reached out to a church in West Covina but they are already closed. I'll keep checking with them next week.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

You can look up a local AA meeting. He can go, or get the other friend to take him. There will be people there that can guide him. If he wants it. But as steadymobbin said, if he doesn’t want to do it, there’s not much you can do.

depression and/or anxiety can inhibit thoughts, behavior, and motivation.

he likely is needing a social service that can lay it out there and help get the process started.

Any idea which service in the LA area might fit?

Don’t brush off the AA idea. A month ago a friend of mine who is absolutely an alcoholic. A bad one. Got a dui. Called me in the morning, still WASTED. He said he wanted to go to meeting. Something. Anything. So my wife and I went and picked him up and took him to a meeting. They happen all the time. All day. All night. He was still. HAMMERED. It was embarrassing sitting there with him in the meeting he was so drunk. But the OGs at the meeting knew what was up and had seen it all and had plenty of guidance for him.

He just hit 30 days and is in a daily program. Hopefully he sticks with it.

 

[SWC]

You can look up a local AA meeting. He can go, or get the other friend to take him. There will be people there that can guide him. If he wants it. But as steadymobbin said, if he doesn’t want to do it, there’s not much you can do.

depression and/or anxiety can inhibit thoughts, behavior, and motivation.

he likely is needing a social service that can lay it out there and help get the process started.

Any idea which service in the LA area might fit?

Don’t brush off the AA idea. A month ago a friend of mine who is absolutely an alcoholic. A bad one. Got a dui. Called me in the morning, still WASTED. He said he wanted to go to meeting. Something. Anything. So my wife and I went and picked him up and took him to a meeting. They happen all the time. All day. All night. He was still. HAMMERED. It was embarrassing sitting there with him in the meeting he was so drunk. But the OGs at the meeting knew what was up and had seen it all and had plenty of guidance for him.

He just hit 30 days and is in a daily program. Hopefully he sticks with it.

this is some effin awesome friending by you that is all i am here to say take that to the bank brohan

 

[Corporation]

You can look up a local AA meeting. He can go, or get the other friend to take him. There will be people there that can guide him. If he wants it. But as steadymobbin said, if he doesn’t want to do it, there’s not much you can do.

depression and/or anxiety can inhibit thoughts, behavior, and motivation.

he likely is needing a social service that can lay it out there and help get the process started.

Any idea which service in the LA area might fit?

Don’t brush off the AA idea. A month ago a friend of mine who is absolutely an alcoholic. A bad one. Got a dui. Called me in the morning, still WASTED. He said he wanted to go to meeting. Something. Anything. So my wife and I went and picked him up and took him to a meeting. They happen all the time. All day. All night. He was still. HAMMERED. It was embarrassing sitting there with him in the meeting he was so drunk. But the OGs at the meeting knew what was up and had seen it all and had plenty of guidance for him.

He just hit 30 days and is in a daily program. Hopefully he sticks with it.

That is awesome. My dad just celebrated his 30th year of sobriety and still goes to the meetings, to help others and himself.

He has gone to some detox programs but invariably has a medical issue while there (blood pressure goes crazy, swelling, etc) and he somehow gets himself released or expelled. I know it's true that you can't help a person who doesn't want help. I do think he wants help but is just overwhelmed. I don't know if he qualifies for a 5150 so the process would be involuntary, and then I guess I just don't know how well those situations turn out.

Thanks all for the suggestions.

 

[Major]

You can look up a local AA meeting. He can go, or get the other friend to take him. There will be people there that can guide him. If he wants it. But as steadymobbin said, if he doesn’t want to do it, there’s not much you can do.

depression and/or anxiety can inhibit thoughts, behavior, and motivation.

he likely is needing a social service that can lay it out there and help get the process started.

Any idea which service in the LA area might fit?

Don’t brush off the AA idea. A month ago a friend of mine who is absolutely an alcoholic. A bad one. Got a dui. Called me in the morning, still WASTED. He said he wanted to go to meeting. Something. Anything. So my wife and I went and picked him up and took him to a meeting. They happen all the time. All day. All night. He was still. HAMMERED. It was embarrassing sitting there with him in the meeting he was so drunk. But the OGs at the meeting knew what was up and had seen it all and had plenty of guidance for him.

He just hit 30 days and is in a daily program. Hopefully he sticks with it.

This would be my advice as well until you find a rehab/detox for him. These meetings can be very helpful in providing a community as well as information on how people like him can get help. Many folks there have went through far worse than your friend and can be of great help and assistance. He just needs to take the first step. Keep the faith.