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"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yo (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter No. 16
- Start date
No. 16
Footballguy
Not yet, but can't say I have tried. All the girls I've approached are still attractive to me. Don't see the point in lowering my standards much. Then again if there was a well put together fat chick I'll consider it.
No. 16
Footballguy
Fired out a text this morning to the hot Asian chick I met on Friday asking her if she wanted to grab a drink in our hometown (a suburb of Oakland about 15 minutes south). She replied this afternoon:
"Hi No. 16, thank you for a good time Friday. I will be working late mon, tues, and thurs so I won't have energy to do anything those days. [insert hometown] is not very interesting, not much to do around there."
I replied... "How is [insert hometown] not interesting? We have [insert two local dive bars]! Haha. So are you free to hang out this Friday? Not in [hometown], BTW."
If she's free this Friday the plan is to take her to the city to a salsa club. I'm terrible dancer aside from club dancing (where I just grind my crotch on their ### or dance stupid for laughs) but I figure it's a good place to hang out for a first date.
Still no communication from HI chick since last Friday after we hung out Thursday night. I'm waiting her out to see when she breaks.
"Hi No. 16, thank you for a good time Friday. I will be working late mon, tues, and thurs so I won't have energy to do anything those days. [insert hometown] is not very interesting, not much to do around there."
I replied... "How is [insert hometown] not interesting? We have [insert two local dive bars]! Haha. So are you free to hang out this Friday? Not in [hometown], BTW."
If she's free this Friday the plan is to take her to the city to a salsa club. I'm terrible dancer aside from club dancing (where I just grind my crotch on their ### or dance stupid for laughs) but I figure it's a good place to hang out for a first date.
Still no communication from HI chick since last Friday after we hung out Thursday night. I'm waiting her out to see when she breaks.
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Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
You're giving too much attention to Asian and coming across as a long ways from the driver's seat. The reason you're giving her too much attention is because you don't have other options to roll with. Congrats, you came across as weak, needy, and having a limited social life all in a quick text.
Get online, get to the bars, and put more fish in your barrel.
Get online, get to the bars, and put more fish in your barrel.
Ray Karpis
Footballguy
I may be alone here, but that reeks of desperation. She seems to shoot down your offer (and your choice of locale) and you go right back to the well asking her if she's free.You're coming across like the guy who really needs the date.
Also, if you're a terrible dancer, don't go to a salsa club on the first date. You want to be in control and in an environment that gives you confidence. Not somewhere where you're potentially the most awkward, out-of-place male in the room.
Just my two cents.
quickhands
Footballguy
Dude. Come on. Are you reading any of this stuff. In the sales world its called Cold calling get to work. Stop waiting on that chick. Ten bucks says the hi ain't meeting up with you.
Seriously stop doing it your way. Pay attention.
Seriously stop doing it your way. Pay attention.
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Ray Karpis
Footballguy
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DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
Slump buster.
You reek of desperation. You need more bullets in the gun.
You reek of desperation. You need more bullets in the gun.
cstu
Footballguy
No. 16
Footballguy
???
How can I read the text completely different from you guys??? Truly perplexed.
Don't see anything in that text that says, "No". I thought her telling the me the dates she was unavailable meant the other days of the week are good to go [pretty much the entire weekend].
Really, really confused by how differently we read the texts.
Oh, and speaking of the devil, HI chick just texted me about when are we going to hang out next.
How can I read the text completely different from you guys??? Truly perplexed.
Don't see anything in that text that says, "No". I thought her telling the me the dates she was unavailable meant the other days of the week are good to go [pretty much the entire weekend].
Really, really confused by how differently we read the texts.
Oh, and speaking of the devil, HI chick just texted me about when are we going to hang out next.
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Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
Sweet thread, Cran.
No. 16
Footballguy
Maybe since I didn't put the exact wording of my initial text everything sounds off?
Here's the entire conversation:
"Hi Hot Asian Chick. This is No. 16 from [insert club]. I had a good time with you Friday. We should get together sometime here in [hometown] for some drinks." Sent @ 1100.
"Hi No. 16, thank you for a good time Friday. I will be working late mon, tues, and thurs so I won't have energy to do anything those days. [insert hometown] is not very interesting, not much to do around there." Replied @ 1300.
I replied @ 1500 "How is [insert hometown] not interesting? We have [insert two local dive bars]! Haha. So are you free to hang out this Friday? Not in [hometown], BTW."
Seems like interest to me on her part. I mean she could have never replied back.
Here's the entire conversation:
"Hi Hot Asian Chick. This is No. 16 from [insert club]. I had a good time with you Friday. We should get together sometime here in [hometown] for some drinks." Sent @ 1100.
"Hi No. 16, thank you for a good time Friday. I will be working late mon, tues, and thurs so I won't have energy to do anything those days. [insert hometown] is not very interesting, not much to do around there." Replied @ 1300.
I replied @ 1500 "How is [insert hometown] not interesting? We have [insert two local dive bars]! Haha. So are you free to hang out this Friday? Not in [hometown], BTW."
Seems like interest to me on her part. I mean she could have never replied back.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
You should have told her to send you a text when she was ready to hang out or told her you'll hit her up next weekend (or some other day that made it seem you're booked up this weekend). Get more chicks lined up.
No. 16
Footballguy
So what do you make of her telling me she's not free Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday? Doesn't that imply she's free this weekend?
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
You need to be meeting girls while out, not asking girls out.
Oh and, slumpbuster.
Oh and, slumpbuster.
No. 16
Footballguy
Crash and burn.
Hot Asian chick just replied:
"I can't hang out Friday :( I'm going snow boarding Saturday so I don't want to go and be tired. I don't think we can hang out until next week. Sorry."
I figure I'll wait a couple of hours before I reply with something like the following and just wait to see if she ever replies:
"No worries. Friday is my only free day this week. Just let me know when you're free to hang out and we'll see what we can do."
Oh well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Hot Asian chick just replied:
"I can't hang out Friday :( I'm going snow boarding Saturday so I don't want to go and be tired. I don't think we can hang out until next week. Sorry."
I figure I'll wait a couple of hours before I reply with something like the following and just wait to see if she ever replies:
"No worries. Friday is my only free day this week. Just let me know when you're free to hang out and we'll see what we can do."
Oh well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
If she flat out said "I'm free Friday/Saturday/whatever" then you have a clear day to invite her out. If you're going to invite her out Friday be more assertive. Though I recommend blowing her off a week unless she makes it clear she's expecting you to ask her out (ie I'm free Friday and not I'm busy Thursday). If someone is going to be straightforward and upfront then you can shelve the games. But people in their 20's rarely go that route so game playing needs to be something you get used to. You did fine asking her out. But unless she gives you a clear day as an alternate when she rejects you, blow her off. Your response should have been something along the lines of "Well I'm busy this weekend so I'll hit you up next week." It lets you regain a bit of your power, lets her know you have a social life that might be something she'll want to crash, and if she doesn't be more straightforward or get her spot in early you'll be booked up living your rockstar life.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
:insertfavoritefacepalmpicture:ETA - I like the fact this chick just did everything I told you to do. She's too much for you champ. You've been out of the game for how long? You're rusty. You're on your training wheels. Stop gunning for the majors when you're struggling in the minors. Find a fatty if need be. Think of her as training wheels if nothing else.
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You seem like a solid guy. Stop coming across as such a whiny needy ##### to girls. At this point in your life they are only there for you to insert your #### into. It was said above, get online get more fish in your barrel and you won't sound quite as desperate for female interaction.
cstu
Footballguy
Absolutely not. Tell her that's too bad because you're busy next weekend.
BustedKnuckles
Footballguy
ya id send a text sayin...''have fun , see ya around''...then nothing else unless she contacts you first
Apple Jack
Footballguy
A lot of women find being asked out by a new guy via text to be a turn off. Ask her when you're with her. Or call.
No. 16
Footballguy
Here's what I replied to salvage some control:"No worries. Have fun. Too bad b/c Friday was my only night free and I'll be busy next weekend. Just let me know whenever you're free and I'll see what I can do."
INSTA-REPLY from her:
"Alright, will do. Next weekend I will be in vegas for an interview so that won't work for me either...Have a good week."
Replied: "You too and good luck in your interview."
So I'm just gonna forget about her and count this as a lesson learned. She really just threw me off by telling me days she COULDN'T hang out, otherwise I would not have invited her out on Friday. Thought that implied she was free the rest of the week. Oh well. It's a process.
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BustedKnuckles
Footballguy
Ray Karpis
Footballguy
Stop ######' texting. You always say too much. I don't mean to rag on you, but you either come across as desperate or trying waaaay too hard to sound like you don't care.
That text exchange with Lucy Liu was terrible. Listen to some of the guys in here trying to help you. I honestly think you think you have game because you had a hot girlfriend. I'm sure you're a good dude, but you've been out of the saddle too long...your instincts are not good right now.
That text exchange with Lucy Liu was terrible. Listen to some of the guys in here trying to help you. I honestly think you think you have game because you had a hot girlfriend. I'm sure you're a good dude, but you've been out of the saddle too long...your instincts are not good right now.
No. 16
Footballguy
No problem. I'm posting this stuff so you guys can help me out and also for your entertainment. Could you provide an example text exchange with Lucy Liu so I can learn from you guru.
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No. 16
Footballguy
What's wrong with drinks? It's a Thursday night still have Friday and Saturday to get other girls. Plus, she's the one that initiated this outing. Not me.
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quickhands
Footballguy
Dude....god. you better start paying attention. You want in her pantaloons. Then don't try to get in her pantaloons.
Im starting to think you are about to spend a year on the bench.
Your soft and squishy right now. Understandable. But I gotta tell you. Chicks don't respect you because you r weak
Reread dr. Awesome. Stop bringing yourself into bars. leave yourself in the car.
Im starting to think you are about to spend a year on the bench.
Your soft and squishy right now. Understandable. But I gotta tell you. Chicks don't respect you because you r weak
Reread dr. Awesome. Stop bringing yourself into bars. leave yourself in the car.
quickhands
Footballguy
Here is a good example.
What s up. That's about it
What s up. That's about it
BustedKnuckles
Footballguy
WOW his ex is jessica alba ??? damn
boots11234
Footballguy
What you talkin about Willis? You ventured 200 bucks on her and got to clean up her barf. Your doing it all wrong. For the love of god take all us married Internet nurds advice. If you did you'd be neck deep in beaver by now!!! Geeze young kids now a days!!!
BustedKnuckles
Footballguy
Honestly i never read this entire thread until now...oh boy . All i can say is what ive learned about situations like the one you`re in is do the exact opposite of what human nature tells you to do, and human nature tells us to go after and win the person we love back...but what we dont do is remember that there was a reason they left. Think of it like this, if you have ever been so upset that the last thing you wanted was someone trying to help you and make you feel better, trying to hug you or talk to you and all you want is to be left alone, not because you hated whoever was trying to help you but because you JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE...GET AWAY FROM ME . Well thats a microcosm of a suffocating relationshup ...sometimes you really just need to leave them alone until they work there #### out...and sometimes they come back and sometimes they dont, but trying to hold on just makes them want out even more.As far as meeting someone else just let it happen on its own, you`ll meet someone at work or thru a friend or doing some activity you love doing, go about your business and let the chips fall where they may.
And i realised that this whole thread is one giant therapy session for anyone thats ever loved and lost haha ...good luck 16
And i realised that this whole thread is one giant therapy session for anyone thats ever loved and lost haha ...good luck 16
BigJim®
Footballguy
Hard to disagree with the masses here. It's a fine line between 'nothing ventured' and appearing desperate. Women sniff out the difference every time. Do something to build your own confidence (e.g. get in great shape, excel at your job) because confidence is probably your biggest problem coming off your situation. Spend more time hanging with friends than going on tail hunts. Master the 8 word or less ambiguous text if you're going to use that as your main communication. Texting a stranger good luck on her excuse for turning down a date? Uhh, no. Sorry to be blunt but that woman knows you inside and out already.
No. 16
Footballguy
HI chick is the one I took out on a date and yacked. Since then I invited her to the bar my friends and I were at last week and she came by towards closing. Didn't talk to her until today when she asked to hang out again this Thursday. So we'll be going out for drinks again.This is a different chick I met at a club last Friday. Apparently, I grossly misread her text and failed big time on the subsequent exchanges. Lesson learned. Oh well. There's tons of women out there. Learning as I go along.
No. 16
Footballguy
Don't think confidence is the issue. I think it's more that it's been so damn long that I have to find my way again. The numbers I'm getting aren't from uglies so my confidence in person is good. It's the games after meeting that I need to get used to. So I'm getting on the job training here. Not afraid or rejection or failing really. I realize I need work so that's why I'm putting myself out there.
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DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
And just to clarify, meeting girls while out, means banging them that night. Oh and, slumpbuster.You need to be meeting girls while out, not asking girls out. Oh and, slumpbuster.
No. 16
Footballguy
Working on it as well. Don't see why I can't do both.And just to clarify, meeting girls while out, means banging them that night. Oh and, slumpbuster.You need to be meeting girls while out, not asking girls out. Oh and, slumpbuster.
OC Zed
Footballguy
Got any recommendations on good locales for this, GB?:hardup:And just to clarify, meeting girls while out, means banging them that night. Oh and, slumpbuster.You need to be meeting girls while out, not asking girls out.
Oh and, slumpbuster.
Until you bang a girl or two stop working on both. You seem to be getting distracted by trying to set up everything in the days after.Working on it as well. Don't see why I can't do both.And just to clarify, meeting girls while out, means banging them that night. Oh and, slumpbuster.You need to be meeting girls while out, not asking girls out. Oh and, slumpbuster.
cstu
Footballguy
Either way can work but it has to be what you are comfortable with. A lot of guys can pull via text but that doesn't seem to be No. 16. My advice is to call because 1) he's not good at texting and 2) most guys are afraid to call today and it will set you apart. Frankly, I would tell girls straight up that I don't text and if they want to talk with me they need to pick up the phone. It's all about confidence though, don't be wishy-washy about it. It'll turn off some chicks but others will like it. The added bonus is that the more often someone hears someone's voice the more they like that person. Another thing that may sound lame but works is using a person's name often - people love to hear their own name.
Uruk-Hai
Footballguy
She was blowing you off without coming right out & saying "no, I don't want to date you". If you had kept picking more days, she'd have had things to do those days too. Most people don't want confrontation. And there are a lot of people who would rather lie than hurt someone's feelings. I think a combination of those two is probably what happened here (though she could just be a #####, too). If a woman doesn't respond explicitly with a day she IS free when you ask her out, don't keep probing.
comfortably numb
Footballguy
yea....we're over here now.
gianmarco
Footballguy
When it finally does happen for our hero and he lands some broad in the sack, I have a feeling he's either going to break our in tears or it's going to be the angriest pleasure session ever witnessed.
Print out some of the responses here and keep them with you to refer to. Picture everyone here cheering you on while you wreck it.
Print out some of the responses here and keep them with you to refer to. Picture everyone here cheering you on while you wreck it.
Maude
Footballguy
How about something like this..."That's cool. Well I'm going to be at [insert one of the cool dive bars you mentioned here] on Friday night. You should come by."And then you should be talking to all of the single women while you're there. Don't wait for the chick to show up, but if she shows up great.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Dating in today's age means using texts as part of the communication. If you ignore that area you're an idiot - it's a goldmine. No. 16 has the right attitude he's just extremely rusty/naive. If you text a girl asking her out a few hours after meeting her that's a b.s. move (should have had the guts to push for the close in person). But other than that texting is perfectly fine. And if cards get played right you drop the first 't' and replace it with an 's'. That really warms 'em up. And wth is wrong with meeting a chick for drinks - especially if she invites him out?
IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
I've been married for 17 years, and I had absolutely no problem reading this exchange as you asking her out and her turning you down. This isn't about "game" -- I only have the slightest inkling of what "game" even is -- it's about hearing what people are trying to tell you. Most people don't like to say "no" directly. When they want to say no without saying "no," they come up with diagonal ways of communicating that message. What happened in this exchange is really no different from the following:Me: Hey, can I take off work Friday? Boss: This is a really busy week for us -- we have an important deadline early next week that we need to meet, so we've got our work cut out for us right now. Me: Thanks for the information, but can I take off work on Friday?
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