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"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yo (1 Viewer)

sounds like someone is try to channel their inner Bret Easton Ellis.

get to the part where you have her saran-wrapped to a grandfather clock with Hall & Oats playing in the background.

 
What an interesting story! I have so many thoughts running through my head right now, like...

-What store did you purchase all those clothes from?

-How is your dad such a sharp dresser?

-What's the deal with your friend John? Is he fat because he has diabetes? Is he ok?

-Why don't you help your friend AJ, who clearly has self esteem issues?

 
The Wedding....TO BE CONTINUED....
:popcorn: Thanks No. 16, you're not a bad writer, entertaining to say the least and not afraid to put your thoughts/feelings out there. Some of your stuff is unintentionally hilarious, but you'll mature some... we've all been there to some degree. Nice update
 
For those of you that are Howard Stern Fans, you will recall when the crew got their hands on the "Gary apology tape" in his desperate efforts to win back his GF at the time. The gang broke down what he said, word by word, line by line, not knowing where to begin. The comedic possibilities were endless, and it was one of the greatest moments in show history.

Post 2892....is the FFA Gary apology tape. I just don't know where to begin.

 
What an interesting story! I have so many thoughts running through my head right now, like...-What store did you purchase all those clothes from?-How is your dad such a sharp dresser?-What's the deal with your friend John? Is he fat because he has diabetes? Is he ok?-Why don't you help your friend AJ, who clearly has self esteem issues?
:popcorn:
 
For those of you that are Howard Stern Fans, you will recall when the crew got their hands on the "Gary apology tape" in his desperate efforts to win back his GF at the time. The gang broke down what he said, word by word, line by line, not knowing where to begin. The comedic possibilities were endless, and it was one of the greatest moments in show history.

Post 2892....is the FFA Gary apology tape. I just don't know where to begin.



 
For those of you that are Howard Stern Fans, you will recall when the crew got their hands on the "Gary apology tape" in his desperate efforts to win back his GF at the time. The gang broke down what he said, word by word, line by line, not knowing where to begin. The comedic possibilities were endless, and it was one of the greatest moments in show history.

Post 2892....is the FFA Gary apology tape. I just don't know where to begin.



Wow. John Oates really let himself go.
 
For those of you that are Howard Stern Fans, you will recall when the crew got their hands on the "Gary apology tape" in his desperate efforts to win back his GF at the time. The gang broke down what he said, word by word, line by line, not knowing where to begin. The comedic possibilities were endless, and it was one of the greatest moments in show history.

Post 2892....is the FFA Gary apology tape. I just don't know where to begin.



Another Hall & Oates reference. :thumbup:

 
I think that's why he never wanted to post a pic of her. He knew deep down that he would like to get back with her at some point.

 
I'm ####ing riveted. No sarcasm, I can't wait for the next installment.

Expecting a dude to get dressed in only 2 hours IS madness.

His work life is at a noin.

 
The car stopped in the church parking lot and we reached the church. We made our way towards the church...
So I'm sensing a church was somehow involved.
Now alone, expecting me to pick an outfit in 2 hours is madness.
Madness, indeed.This is like a cherry-picking lines from a studs post. So much gold to mine.
 
I'm ####ing riveted. No sarcasm, I can't wait for the next installment.

Expecting a dude to get dressed in only 2 hours IS madness.

His work life is at a noin.
I think you misread...he needed 2 hours just to pick the #### outfit.
:lmao: My bad. That's frigging mind-boggling to me. I don't think I spend 2 hours in a week between shaving, showering, picking out outfits and getting dressed, in aggregate.

 
I'm ####ing riveted. No sarcasm, I can't wait for the next installment.

Expecting a dude to get dressed in only 2 hours IS madness.

His work life is at a noin.
I think you misread...he needed 2 hours just to pick the #### outfit.
:lmao: My bad. That's frigging mind-boggling to me. I don't think I spend 2 hours in a week between shaving, showering, picking out outfits and getting dressed, in aggregate.
:lmao: :goodposting: My alarm goes off at 7:25. I'm usually out of bed around 7:30-7:35 and I'm out the door by 7:50.

That includes putting in my contacts, taking a piss, brushing my teeth, picking out my "outfit", getting showered up, shaving, washing my hair, getting dressed, mixing up a protein shake, and getting out the door.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
More Stern nonsense- Restless Restless.

"you wore your coral dress,

I put on my tortoise shades.

I'm not like all the rest,

I do not have a clue..."

 
The Wedding Part 2:

There was some time between the the wedding and the reception so the guys and I went to the store, bought some food, and a card for the bride and groom. We had invited people back to our hotel room to hang out and drink until the cocktail hour started. Most were friends from high school, but there were a few people I didn't know personally. As the booze flowed and temperature rose in the living room of the suite, the milieu became more boisterous and joyful.

Once everyone started mingling, I made my way toward one of the few couples I didn't know. It was a Filipina chick and a Chinese dude. She was my type: dark skin, black hair, beautiful face, and I could tell she had a little spunk. She also had that raspy sexy voice as a bonus. We were introduced at the church through mutual friends and although I found her attractive I didn't pay her much attention because she arrived with a date. However, once I started talking to her it was clear she and her date were not together. We exchanged pleasantries, I offered them a drink, and not wanting to scare her away, I just started rambling about how comfy the chair I was sitting in was. It was nice, plush, yet had great lumbar support. The whole nine yards. Stupid topic, I know but she ate it up and was still making eye contact and listening. Eventually she finally joined into the conversation by making a joking using a line the priest said in his homily. From there the conversation flowed from talking about the delivery of the priests, thoughts on the homily, etc. The whole time she was engaged and showed just enough effort (eye contact, asking questions, joining in the conversation) to make me think this was a true prospect for the night.

During our conversation the Chinese dude sat quietly by her side when he wasn't off taking shots, I could feel he wanted to secks her as well so I would have competition. Oh well. Game on. I didn't linger with the two very long and eventually just continued catching up with my old friends. I was enjoying myself and honestly can say I didn't give one thought about the ex.

1730 finally came around and we all made the 5 minute car ride from the hotel to the reception for cocktail hour.

TO BE CONTINUED... just because this is my day off and need to run some ####### errands.

 
The Wedding Part 2:There was some time between the the wedding and the reception so the guys and I went to the store, bought some food, and a card for the bride and groom. We had invited people back to our hotel room to hang out and drink until the cocktail hour started. Most were friends from high school, but there were a few people I didn't know personally. As the booze flowed and temperature rose in the living room of the suite, the milieu became more boisterous and joyful. Once everyone started mingling, I made my way toward one of the few couples I didn't know. It was a Filipina chick and a Chinese dude. She was my type: dark skin, black hair, beautiful face, and I could tell she had a little spunk. She also had that raspy sexy voice as a bonus. We were introduced at the church through mutual friends and although I found her attractive I didn't pay her much attention because she arrived with a date. However, once I started talking to her it was clear she and her date were not together. We exchanged pleasantries, I offered them a drink, and not wanting to scare her away, I just started rambling about how comfy the chair I was sitting in was. It was nice, plush, yet had great lumbar support. The whole nine yards. Stupid topic, I know but she ate it up and was still making eye contact and listening. Eventually she finally joined into the conversation by making a joking using a line the priest said in his homily. From there the conversation flowed from talking about the delivery of the priests, thoughts on the homily, etc. The whole time she was engaged and showed just enough effort (eye contact, asking questions, joining in the conversation) to make me think this was a true prospect for the night.During our conversation the Chinese dude sat quietly by her side when he wasn't off taking shots, I could feel he wanted to secks her as well so I would have competition. Oh well. Game on. I didn't linger with the two very long and eventually just continued catching up with my old friends. I was enjoying myself and honestly can say I didn't give one thought about the ex. 1730 finally came around and we all made the 5 minute car ride from the hotel to the reception for cocktail hour. TO BE CONTINUED... just because this is my day off and need to run some ####### errands.
You suck.
 
The Wedding Part 2:

There was some time between the the wedding and the reception so the guys and I went to the store, bought some food, and a card for the bride and groom. We had invited people back to our hotel room to hang out and drink until the cocktail hour started. Most were friends from high school, but there were a few people I didn't know personally. As the booze flowed and temperature rose in the living room of the suite, the milieu became more boisterous and joyful.

Once everyone started mingling, I made my way toward one of the few couples I didn't know. It was a Filipina chick and a Chinese dude. She was my type: dark skin, black hair, beautiful face, and I could tell she had a little spunk. She also had that raspy sexy voice as a bonus. We were introduced at the church through mutual friends and although I found her attractive I didn't pay her much attention because she arrived with a date. However, once I started talking to her it was clear she and her date were not together. We exchanged pleasantries, I offered them a drink, and not wanting to scare her away, I just started rambling about how comfy the chair I was sitting in was. It was nice, plush, yet had great lumbar support. The whole nine yards. Stupid topic, I know but she ate it up and was still making eye contact and listening. Eventually she finally joined into the conversation by making a joking using a line the priest said in his homily. From there the conversation flowed from talking about the delivery of the priests, thoughts on the homily, etc. The whole time she was engaged and showed just enough effort (eye contact, asking questions, joining in the conversation) to make me think this was a true prospect for the night.

During our conversation the Chinese dude sat quietly by her side when he wasn't off taking shots, I could feel he wanted to secks her as well so I would have competition. Oh well. Game on. I didn't linger with the two very long and eventually just continued catching up with my old friends. I was enjoying myself and honestly can say I didn't give one thought about the ex.

1730 finally came around and we all made the 5 minute car ride from the hotel to the reception for cocktail hour.

TO BE CONTINUED... just because this is my day off and need to run some ####### errands.
:mellow: This is getting ridiculous.

 
There was some time between the the wedding and the reception so the guys and I went to the store, bought some food, and a card for the bride and groom.
Guy spends 2 hours getting himself dressed then picks up a wedding present off the wire rack at 7-11.
Once everyone started mingling, I made my way toward one of the few couples I didn't know. It was a Filipina chick and a Chinese dude. She was my type: dark skin, black hair, beautiful face, and I could tell she had a little spunk.
Is that a racial slur about the guy?
not wanting to scare her away, I just started rambling about how comfy the chair I was sitting in was. It was nice, plush, yet had great lumbar support. The whole nine yards.
what topic would you have picked to scare her away?
 
If two asian guys fight, is ever a straight up fist fight? Do you assume that at least one of them will break out kung fu/karate moves?

 
There was some time between the the wedding and the reception so the guys and I went to the store, bought some food, and a card for the bride and groom.
Guy spends 2 hours getting himself dressed then picks up a wedding present off the wire rack at 7-11.
Once everyone started mingling, I made my way toward one of the few couples I didn't know. It was a Filipina chick and a Chinese dude. She was my type: dark skin, black hair, beautiful face, and I could tell she had a little spunk.
Is that a racial slur about the guy?
not wanting to scare her away, I just started rambling about how comfy the chair I was sitting in was. It was nice, plush, yet had great lumbar support. The whole nine yards.
what topic would you have picked to scare her away?
:lmao:
 
I'll assume No. 16 busted out the dance moves in order to demonstrate his value.
what kind of dance moves? Dubstep or the grinding one (forget what he called it much earlier in this thread)? I'm sure he was CRACKIN!I've been one of the bigger No. 16 supporters, but I'm seriously starting to think we're being played here by a master :fishing: fisherman , (as EG said, verbal kint style). No one has a conversation about the comfort of their chair except maybe my grandpa. This can't be real, can it? Plus, I can't remember, but did he always try and write like he was auditioning to guest author a "50 shades of grey" sequel?
 
I'll assume No. 16 busted out the dance moves in order to demonstrate his value.
Oh how mistaken you are. This thread doesn't know it, but 16 just D.E.N.N.I.S.'d the #### out of Spunky Filipino Chick (SFC). See how below, and make sure you're taking notes.Demonstrate Value- Providing shots and liquor for everyone, this should be clear.

Engage Physically- Exchanging pleasantries, with a handshake I'm sure.

Nurture Dependence- 16 is the alpha-male to SFC's chinese companion, surely. SFC notices this immediately, thus creating a dependence on 16 to save her from her stupid, non-comfy-chair-sitting Chinese friend.

Neglect Emotionally- By talking non-stop about the comfort of his chair, No.16 shrewdly neglects anything and everything relating to SFC's emotional needs.

Inspire Hope- This is where 16 gets next-level genius, killing two birds with one stone. In addition to neglecting SFC's emotional needs, 16's idiotic rambling about his stupid chair inspires SFC to make even dumber jokes about the wedding ceremony/homily. You see, she thinks 16 is mentally challenged and is inspired to make his day brighter.

Separate Entirely- He gets up from his luxurious chair and mingles with the rest of the party, never seeing his prey again...that is until 1730 rolls around and they head to the reception.

My conclusion- this night ends with 16 getting some SFC tang.

 
I'll assume No. 16 busted out the dance moves in order to demonstrate his value.
what kind of dance moves? Dubstep or the grinding one (forget what he called it much earlier in this thread)? I'm sure he was CRACKIN!I've been one of the bigger No. 16 supporters, but I'm seriously starting to think we're being played here by a master :fishing: fisherman , (as EG said, verbal kint style). No one has a conversation about the comfort of their chair except maybe my grandpa. This can't be real, can it? Plus, I can't remember, but did he always try and write like he was auditioning to guest author a "50 shades of grey" sequel?
The rambling about the chair is what I picked up from reading "Day Bang" which I believe you suggested.
 
I'll assume No. 16 busted out the dance moves in order to demonstrate his value.
Oh how mistaken you are. This thread doesn't know it, but 16 just D.E.N.N.I.S.'d the #### out of Spunky Filipino Chick (SFC). See how below, and make sure you're taking notes.Demonstrate Value- Providing shots and liquor for everyone, this should be clear.

Engage Physically- Exchanging pleasantries, with a handshake I'm sure.

Nurture Dependence- 16 is the alpha-male to SFC's chinese companion, surely. SFC notices this immediately, thus creating a dependence on 16 to save her from her stupid, non-comfy-chair-sitting Chinese friend.

Neglect Emotionally- By talking non-stop about the comfort of his chair, No.16 shrewdly neglects anything and everything relating to SFC's emotional needs.

Inspire Hope- This is where 16 gets next-level genius, killing two birds with one stone. In addition to neglecting SFC's emotional needs, 16's idiotic rambling about his stupid chair inspires SFC to make even dumber jokes about the wedding ceremony/homily. You see, she thinks 16 is mentally challenged and is inspired to make his day brighter.

Separate Entirely- He gets up from his luxurious chair and mingles with the rest of the party, never seeing his prey again...that is until 1730 rolls around and they head to the reception.

My conclusion- this night ends with 16 getting some SFC tang.
:lmao: Not only that, but he can re-DENNIS her any time he wants.

 
I'll assume No. 16 busted out the dance moves in order to demonstrate his value.
Oh how mistaken you are. This thread doesn't know it, but 16 just D.E.N.N.I.S.'d the #### out of Spunky Filipino Chick (SFC). See how below, and make sure you're taking notes.Demonstrate Value- Providing shots and liquor for everyone, this should be clear.

Engage Physically- Exchanging pleasantries, with a handshake I'm sure.

Nurture Dependence- 16 is the alpha-male to SFC's chinese companion, surely. SFC notices this immediately, thus creating a dependence on 16 to save her from her stupid, non-comfy-chair-sitting Chinese friend.

Neglect Emotionally- By talking non-stop about the comfort of his chair, No.16 shrewdly neglects anything and everything relating to SFC's emotional needs.

Inspire Hope- This is where 16 gets next-level genius, killing two birds with one stone. In addition to neglecting SFC's emotional needs, 16's idiotic rambling about his stupid chair inspires SFC to make even dumber jokes about the wedding ceremony/homily. You see, she thinks 16 is mentally challenged and is inspired to make his day brighter.

Separate Entirely- He gets up from his luxurious chair and mingles with the rest of the party, never seeing his prey again...that is until 1730 rolls around and they head to the reception.

My conclusion- this night ends with 16 getting some SFC tang.
How long until the book hits the shelves - No. 16: An Erotic Life
 
I'll assume No. 16 busted out the dance moves in order to demonstrate his value.
what kind of dance moves? Dubstep or the grinding one (forget what he called it much earlier in this thread)? I'm sure he was CRACKIN!I've been one of the bigger No. 16 supporters, but I'm seriously starting to think we're being played here by a master :fishing: fisherman , (as EG said, verbal kint style). No one has a conversation about the comfort of their chair except maybe my grandpa. This can't be real, can it? Plus, I can't remember, but did he always try and write like he was auditioning to guest author a "50 shades of grey" sequel?
The rambling about the chair is what I picked up from reading "Day Bang" which I believe you suggested.
I certainly was the one who suggested that book, but think you took "the elderly opener" a little too literally.
 

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