msudaisy26
Footballguy
I think it is a little bit of both. I think the aunt and uncle are a little racist, but at the same time I have seen the new bride totally disrespect them. They both have made the situation way worse than it ever needed to be.
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Interracial dating (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter GregR
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cstu
Footballguy
Please explain 'a little racist'.
FWIW, I never wanted to be around my 'little racist' family members before I dated a non-white girl. Your husband's cousin sounds to me like he's better off.
Eephus
Footballguy
Family support or at least acceptance is important if you're getting serious. Life is a whole lot easier if everybody gets along.
Mrs. Eephus' family has always been cool with me. Even back in my punk rock days they were able to look past my appearance to see that I loved their daughter. I have fond memories of watching baseball games with her grandmother, the family matriarch who owned the house we live in today.
My side of the family wasn't local so it wasn't as critical. My racist Japanese grandmother who gave my Caucasian dad grief for 40 years was totally fine with Mrs. Eephus for some reason. I had some concerns about my Wisconsin cousins but they've always been nice at family events and some have been more than that after they've had a few drinks.
Mrs. Eephus' family has always been cool with me. Even back in my punk rock days they were able to look past my appearance to see that I loved their daughter. I have fond memories of watching baseball games with her grandmother, the family matriarch who owned the house we live in today.
My side of the family wasn't local so it wasn't as critical. My racist Japanese grandmother who gave my Caucasian dad grief for 40 years was totally fine with Mrs. Eephus for some reason. I had some concerns about my Wisconsin cousins but they've always been nice at family events and some have been more than that after they've had a few drinks.
msudaisy26
Footballguy
I may have phrased that poorly, they have their biases just like most people. There is a difference between a KKK member and someone that doesn't like a certain race because of past experience. What I know of the situation is several times she has disrespected them. Several times they have gotten mad at her and she plays the race card. I also know the Aunt has no filter and I am sure she has said stuff that could be perceived as racist.
Things that have happened.
Aunt and Uncle just had a brand new house built, first time the daughter in law came to the new house she wore her shoes in the house and they asked her to take her shoes off and she responded with a " I don't take my shoes off in my own house I am not doing it here"
They both have ignored each other several times when the other has tried to talk to them. They will start texting on their phones, or just walk out of the room.
They live about 2.5 hours apart and there have been demands on both sides about how often they will get to see grandchildren.
When they were about to get married there was a lot of arguing about who would pay for what as well. It ended with the daughter in law saying she wouldn't take money from some racists.
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PinkydaPimp
Footballguy
If you dislike an entire race based on an experience, pretty sure thats racist. Either way sounds like both parties are part of the problem in this situation. But i'm not sure why based on that you could never "love someone enough to do an inter racial marriage."
msudaisy26
Footballguy
This is my worst experience and watching it divide a family and boil over into the extended family is painful to see. Before I became a teacher I was a bartender to pay for school and I had several friends that would cry to me about how their parents stop paying for their college because they were dating a black guy. My boyfriend in college had a Jewish roommate and his parents kicked him out of their house and cut him off completely because he was dating a girl that wasn't Jewish.
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Baloney Sandwich
Footballguy
Speaking of Jewish girls, they give great head. I'm not sure that is totally relevant to this topic but I felt like it needed to be said.
cstu
Footballguy
cstu
Footballguy
Are your parents and/or relatives racist? If they are, do you think you should let them to determine who you marry?
I'm glad racist families are being torn up, not doing the world any good to play along to keep them happy.
If what you're saying is correct, the girl sounds like a #####. Don't think we're getting the full story though.
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msudaisy26
Footballguy
I don't speak with my father anymore, but he is very racist. My mother isn't and my husband and his immediate family aren't. I would like to think I would have married whoever I was in love with and wanted to spend my life with, but it is hard to say if that would have been the case had I fallen for someone of a different race and had to deal with my father and possibly with the future in laws having an issue.
It would take me days to write everything down that I have heard about between them. If it is all true, since we have distanced ourselves from them we hear all the stories from other family members and it is usually months later.
I would say she is very high maintence, from my experiences with the new bride
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mr fancypants
Footballguy
With all due respect Chad, I don't think you have a valid comparison. There is unfortunately a big difference with a relationship with an Asian female which would be way more "acceptable" interracially than to a relationship with an African American lady. When I was still living in Ohio, my mothers brother ended up marrying a Japanese lady. Initially,there was a some resentment, but then the family grew to accept her. No way would that have ever happened if it was an African American lady. I refused to let their attitudes effect me as I enjoyed dating a variety of ladies. I am currently living in the bay area with a Thai female.
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PinkydaPimp
Footballguy
I think from what i see and have experienced. Most folks that are say under 40, are fairly open to dating whoever. Now the folks in their 30s-40s still have parents or grandparents who may or may not be ok with that which can play into whether they themselves will entertain such a relationship. And i think this goes for all races. I know when i brought home my first GF who was white my grandmother didn't like it, nor did the girls father. I would say certain groups are more driven towards their kids only dating someone of the same group (religious, racial, ethinicity, etc.) I know that many east indian parents for exmaple are quite adamant that their kids only date indians or white, but prefer indians. It does seem that most in this thread are open to interracial dating though so that says alot about our generation.
This was an interesting article that a read a while back.
This was an interesting article that a read a while back.
Chadstroma
Footballguy
I am adding to the discussino in my own experiences in never havin an issue with her or my family. I also dated a lot of latina girls with no issue as well as a couple of black girls. The only issue that I ever had in any of those experiences was one of the black girls had a minor worry about some of the people at her ultra fundamentalist church but even the one time I went to that whackadoo place with her there was no issue. (she was more worried about me being from another church... you know, one that read a bible that was not good ole' King Jimmy's and has music from the devil in worship, etc).
I am not saying that no one would have any issues. What I am saying is that I can see some people attributing issues to the interacial aspect when it may not originate from that. "My in laws did not get along" does not mean anything because in laws don't get alone all the time with all sorts of relationships. My family purposely limits our interactions with one side of my wife's family because they are shady tools. Has nothing to do with race.
Now, if you say, "The in laws did not get along because they don't believe a white guy and black girl should be together" or, "My parents are in the KKK and that makes me dating a black girl tricky". But if you are going to give a specific situation as an example then you need to give me more proof that the problems are due to race than someone using the race card because someone does not like them.
Someone brought up geography and I am sure there are places you are less likely to have an issue and places you are more likely. I grew up in the burbs of L.A. and really it is just not a problem there publicaly (I do remember hearing comments along the lines of 'my daughter wont date FILL IN THE BLANK' kind of of thing.) The rest of my time has been spent in the burbs of Chicago. Also an area that I don't think there is much of a public issue regardless of the coupling. Add in that my family has no issues and my wife's family has no issues (the majority of her family both immediate and extended has married interacially) then my experience is no issues.
But again, I do not extend my expierence out to everyone. I just don't think that it is as big of a hurdle as some might think in general and that some may be quick to contribute problems to it that are really just normal or mundane couple issues.
pollardsvision
Footballguy
I've spent a life mostly confined to boring ol' white chicks. Settled down with one, so I'll only get the one opportunity I had to venture out a little.
A one night stand in college with a black chick. It was so ####### awesome. Not that I piled them up, but by far, my best ONS ever.
In fact, the only ONS where I actually "finished". In terms of the mating/dating game, the good Lord didn't bless me with many natural gifts. I'm 5'5". Never had much game and am not well-endowed. My only gift was great "endurance", which would've been great in moderation. But for every ONS in my lifetime (except one), it meant the session ended, not in the really good way, but with both of us just too tired to continue. It always took me 3-4 times with the same chick to get over that hurdle.
A one night stand in college with a black chick. It was so ####### awesome. Not that I piled them up, but by far, my best ONS ever.
In fact, the only ONS where I actually "finished". In terms of the mating/dating game, the good Lord didn't bless me with many natural gifts. I'm 5'5". Never had much game and am not well-endowed. My only gift was great "endurance", which would've been great in moderation. But for every ONS in my lifetime (except one), it meant the session ended, not in the really good way, but with both of us just too tired to continue. It always took me 3-4 times with the same chick to get over that hurdle.
El Floppo
Footballguy
comfortably numb
Footballguy
Agreed
I live by a lot of Jews now and can't say I'm impressed.
I'm white, dated a Puerto Rican but she was whiter than me.
Spike
Footballguy
AhrnCityPahnder
Yinz-o-riffic
Koya
Footballguy
To answer some of the poll questions, I'm a white dude with a purebred mutt ancestry of many European stocks and am married to a true African American with the most lovely and smooth cocoa mocha complexion. We met in '89 and married in '91 so we've been together for what seems like an eternity.(j/k hon, if you're reading 
)
We have run into occasional issues because of our mixed relationship but that's in main because we've lived in a 95% black area of Baltimore for 9 years and now live in a 98% white area outside the area. We've both been on both sides of the divide so we have a real empathy when one of us feels a slight.
Interestingly enough, my wife is worried that our African American son has shown an early predilection for blonde haired, blue eyed strumpets while virtually ignoring the few AA girls that are in his class. I guess the Mrs. forgets who she's married too at times.
) We have run into occasional issues because of our mixed relationship but that's in main because we've lived in a 95% black area of Baltimore for 9 years and now live in a 98% white area outside the area. We've both been on both sides of the divide so we have a real empathy when one of us feels a slight.
Interestingly enough, my wife is worried that our African American son has shown an early predilection for blonde haired, blue eyed strumpets while virtually ignoring the few AA girls that are in his class. I guess the Mrs. forgets who she's married too at times.
So it appears his black genes are dominate in this area.To answer some of the poll questions, I'm a white dude with a purebred mutt ancestry of many European stocks and am married to a true African American with the most lovely and smooth cocoa mocha complexion. We met in '89 and married in '91 so we've been together for what seems like an eternity.(j/k hon, if you're reading
We have run into occasional issues because of our mixed relationship but that's in main because we've lived in a 95% black area of Baltimore for 9 years and now live in a 98% white area outside the area. We've both been on both sides of the divide so we have a real empathy when one of us feels a slight.
Interestingly enough, my wife is worried that our African American son has shown an early predilection for blonde haired, blue eyed strumpets while virtually ignoring the few AA girls that are in his class. I guess the Mrs. forgets who she's married too at times.
Fat Nick
Footballguy
Nah. Halfie here. I'm 1/2 Thai, 1/2 White, aka Rice Cracker.Those guys posted in this thread?Other than AZ Ron, Doctor Detroit, and the long-departed Carver?Is it assumed that every poster posting in this thread is white?
Surely I can't be the only Asian on this forum.
I'm not even sure which half I identify with more...Personality-wise, I'm caucasian...maybe even a little redneck at times because I was raised in the country in VA. I've never really been attracted to Asian chicks. Married now to a caucasian. With that said, I have a tendency to choose "Asian" when only given full-blood choices. I guess it's because I have a Thai last name and "look" clearly not 100% white. "Caucasian" is so broad these days that I don't feel it's really descriptive enough.
urbanhack
Fight The Power!
I think this is a big key. Early on in my relationship with my ex, we attended a holiday function at my parent's house for my dad's side of the family. My aunt threw out "does anyone want this -toe?" when referring to a walnut or something else in the mixed nuts bowl. I almost fell off my chair in disbelief and I think I was in temporary denial. My ex kind of did the same thing, but then got up and the next thing I know we are driving back to Chicago 5 minutes later with her in tears and completely shocked. Of course my reaction and my family's reaction was one of denial and making excuses. "She didn't mean in it in a bad way, we've always said it, blah, blah, blah." My ex was definitely in the zero tolerance corner of racism. She called it out when she saw it and it affected her greatly from time to time depending on the situation. She was an only child and her family were one of the first black families to move into a white neighborhood back in the early 1980's in the Beverly neighborhood on the south side of Chicago. I think she went through a lot of #### back then and we had several long talks about it during our relationship.
That is the kind of situation that can raise awareness because, as you said, your family never gave that terminology a second thought until that moment. We used to joke that my grandmother only knew two black people before she met my wife and they were the mailman and the garbageman. For my grandmother the idea of white people mixing with black people was foreign and strange and just not natural. My wife eventually warmed grandma's heart but it took awhile. Grandma was a product of her times and her bias was born more of ignorance than hate but it still left a mark.
AhrnCityPahnder
Yinz-o-riffic
Oof. It's a Brazil Nut that used to nbe called this, but I thought that went out of favor when FDR left office.
roadkill1292
Footballguy
Please report to the Pet Peeves thread immediately.So it appears his black genes are dominate in this area.To answer some of the poll questions, I'm a white dude with a purebred mutt ancestry of many European stocks and am married to a true African American with the most lovely and smooth cocoa mocha complexion. We met in '89 and married in '91 so we've been together for what seems like an eternity.(j/k hon, if you're reading
We have run into occasional issues because of our mixed relationship but that's in main because we've lived in a 95% black area of Baltimore for 9 years and now live in a 98% white area outside the area. We've both been on both sides of the divide so we have a real empathy when one of us feels a slight.
Interestingly enough, my wife is worried that our African American son has shown an early predilection for blonde haired, blue eyed strumpets while virtually ignoring the few AA girls that are in his class. I guess the Mrs. forgets who she's married too at times.
