It is Easter, how does Jesus come back? (1 Viewer)

[saintsfan]

When you help that lady on the side of the road with a broken down car, you are Jesus to her. When you give a couple of bucks to that guy on the street, you are Jesus to him. When you help a friend who is having financial problems, you are Jesus to them. Visiting the elderly and spending time with them is like them talking to Jesus. Visiting a home for handicapped children is you being Jesus to them. Rescue workers helping in New Orleans/Oklahoma/Alabama/New York City...you guessed it, Jesus...

He never left...

 

[McGarnicle]

When it's almost closing time and you look around and there's nothing left but fatties, and one catches your eye, and she smiles and winks at you, and you think to yourself, oh, Jesus...

 

[Guest]

Home Depot parking lot.

 

[tri-man 47]

When it's almost closing time and you look around and there's nothing left but fatties, and one catches your eye, and she smiles and winks at you, and you think to yourself, oh, Jesus...

"and the last shall be first"

 

[matuski]

When you help that lady on the side of the road with a broken down car, you are Jesus to her. When you give a couple of bucks to that guy on the street, you are Jesus to him. When you help a friend who is having financial problems, you are Jesus to them. Visiting the elderly and spending time with them is like them talking to Jesus. Visiting a home for handicapped children is you being Jesus to them. Rescue workers helping in New Orleans/Oklahoma/Alabama/New York City...you guessed it, Jesus...

He never left...

So you see yourself as a god to these people?

 

[Al O'Pecia]

Jesus is like, what, 2000 years old now? He probably comes back on a motorized scooter.

 

[Scoresman]

And He will return, with a large sausage and mushroom pie in hand,

And all shall partake, except for the brother who lays with his brother,

or the sister who lays with his sister, for they shall forever be without

Christ's love, and pizza.

- Revelations 123:25

 

[Ditka Butkus]

I think he resurrected in my 12 year old Miniature Schnauzer. Little guy was literally all but dead two days ago.. pancreas issue. Vet was telling us to say good bye to him. Today..Good Friday... up and at them.

 

[snitwitch]

like a boss

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

Pretty sure he will not cry, but that he will smash through a giant boulder and then fly up to heaven

 

[msommer]

He doesn't

I'm guessing all on this board wouldn't do real well getting crucified. Just a hunch. Call me crazy.

You could lead by example. Get a sidekick to upload to youtube for us sinners

 

[Timmay]

He'd kick down the door and say "I'm back #####es"

 

[Jayrok]

Like a thief in the night..

 

[eoMMan]

I think Jesus mowed my lawn this morning.

Or maybe it was Jose. Not sure.

 

[Ditka Butkus]

with a vengeance!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOqRvkRebnQ

 

[tjnc09]

Why do people think it's funny to be insensitive to some people's beliefs?

 

[Scoresman]

Why do people think it's funny to be insensitive to some people's beliefs?

It's comedy and its the internet. Do you really need to ask this question?

 

[Ditka Butkus]

I think Jesus mowed my lawn this morning.

Or maybe it was Jose. Not sure.

 

[GoFishTN]

Why do people think it's funny to be insensitive to some people's beliefs?

Don't worry, I'm sure these same guys are being tolerant and diverse in the Indiana thread.

 

[lod01]

Why do people think it's funny to be insensitive to some people's beliefs?

Because it's totally ridiculous. Nobody is coming back. Nobody has and nobody ever will...except in the Walking Dead.

 

[Deepster]

Why do people think it's funny to be insensitive to some people's beliefs?

It's like I always say this time of year, "if I don't sin, that means Jesus died for nothing!"

 

[matuski]

Why do people think it's funny to be insensitive to some people's beliefs?

My first concern is always to cater to people's sensitivities and insecurities.

 

[CowboysFromHell]

When you help that lady on the side of the road with a broken down car, you are Jesus to her. When you give a couple of bucks to that guy on the street, you are Jesus to him. When you help a friend who is having financial problems, you are Jesus to them. Visiting the elderly and spending time with them is like them talking to Jesus. Visiting a home for handicapped children is you being Jesus to them. Rescue workers helping in New Orleans/Oklahoma/Alabama/New York City...you guessed it, Jesus...

He never left...

I am Jesus.

 

[Swing 51]

In a work of fiction

 

[larch]

Why do people think it's funny to be insensitive to some people's beliefs?

You have been here for four years and you are asking this question?

 

[Sinn Fein]

Forgive them father, for they know not what they do

 

[Scoresman]

Religion, like any other topic here, is not and should not be above satire.

 

[tjnc09]

Why do people think it's funny to be insensitive to some people's beliefs?

You have been here for four years and you are asking this question?

I don't usually read threads outside of anything sports related.

 

[tjnc09]

Why do people think it's funny to be insensitive to some people's beliefs?

Don't worry, I'm sure these same guys are being tolerant and diverse in the Indiana thread.

I am sure the same question can be asked in every thread where the discussion is about how people believe differently, look differently, or behave differently. I don't see the appeal of it. Seems like there are a million better things to do with one's time.

 

[tonydead]

Why do people think it's funny to be insensitive to some people's beliefs?

Most of the people who sit in darkness have been furnished with more light than was good for them. - Mark Twain

 

[Jules Winnfield]

Why do people think it's funny to be insensitive to some people's beliefs?

Don't worry, I'm sure these same guys are being tolerant and diverse in the Indiana thread.

I am sure the same question can be asked in every thread where the discussion is about how people believe differently, look differently, or behave differently. I don't see the appeal of it. Seems like there are a million better things to do with one's time.

Name the million things betterI think God has a sense of humor. You are just in dire need of a sense of humor.

 

[CowboysFromHell]

Why do people think it's funny to be insensitive to some people's beliefs?

Don't worry, I'm sure these same guys are being tolerant and diverse in the Indiana thread.

I am sure the same question can be asked in every thread where the discussion is about how people believe differently, look differently, or behave differently. I don't see the appeal of it. Seems like there are a million better things to do with one's time.

Name the million things betterI think God has a sense of humor. You are just in dire need of a sense of humor.

Yeah that whole radio carbon dating scam is a hoot!

 

[Jules Winnfield]

I was gonna say kangaroos

 

[Otis]

Fadeaway 3 from top of the key.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Winning Star Search 8 weeks in a row.

 

[saintsfan]

When you help that lady on the side of the road with a broken down car, you are Jesus to her. When you give a couple of bucks to that guy on the street, you are Jesus to him. When you help a friend who is having financial problems, you are Jesus to them. Visiting the elderly and spending time with them is like them talking to Jesus. Visiting a home for handicapped children is you being Jesus to them. Rescue workers helping in New Orleans/Oklahoma/Alabama/New York City...you guessed it, Jesus...

He never left...

So you see yourself as a god to these people?

Been out a while. What a gem... How does it feel to be smarter than everyone else??

I am a disciple of Christ. I do my best to be like Him in all things. I fall short very often, but I am forgiven and I try and be the hands and feet of Jesus to others. I love God and I try to love my neighbor as myself. This does not make me God. It makes me a disciple of Jesus Christ. Why this is so objectionable to you, I have no idea.

 

[B-Deep]

He prolly comes back complaining about a 6 week ban for a penis joke in a mock draft thread

 

[Parrothead]

Jesus usually shows up outside our building when the grass starts growing.. usually has a bunch of apostles too (with weed whackers)