I've Decided To Make A Movie... (1 Viewer)

[Mr. Know-It-All]

10 minute interview with Mr Ham- I won't ask any questions, I am expecting a full monologue for the entire 10 minutes

Had me, then lost me. I thought this sounded interesting, but I will 100% not participate with someone who has insulted me. But good luck.

Stop playing so hard to get. You're done in Australia soon, no?

 

[Hellfire Snail]

10 minute interview with Mr Ham- I won't ask any questions, I am expecting a full monologue for the entire 10 minutes

Had me, then lost me. I thought this sounded interesting, but I will 100% not participate with someone who has insulted me. But good luck.

 

[awesomeness]

10 minute interview with Mr Ham- I won't ask any questions, I am expecting a full monologue for the entire 10 minutes

Had me, then lost me. I thought this sounded interesting, but I will 100% not participate with someone who has insulted me. But good luck.

Link to the insult?

 

[YSR]

10 minute interview with Mr Ham- I won't ask any questions, I am expecting a full monologue for the entire 10 minutes

Had me, then lost me. I thought this sounded interesting, but I will 100% not participate with someone who has insulted me. But good luck.

Probably best that you stop posting, then, no?

 

[Guest]

Whatever... Ask me, Jefferson blew a good opportunity. The movie without me is like the Donkey Kong movie with out the "there's a Donkey Kong kill screen coming up" guy.

 

[YSR]

Whatever... Ask me, Jefferson blew a good opportunity. The movie without me is like the Donkey Kong movie with out the "there's a Donkey Kong kill screen coming up" guy.

Serious question here: what part of him saying that he wanted 10 minutes with you, and he was willing to let you talk the entire time was insulting/offensive?How, exactly, did he "blow it"?

 

[Limp Ditka]

Whatever... Ask me, Jefferson blew a good opportunity. The movie without me is like the Donkey Kong movie with out the "there's a Donkey Kong kill screen coming up" guy.

What's that disease you have? It seems to be acting up again.

 

[piratemike]

Whatever... Ask me, Jefferson blew a good opportunity. The movie without me is like the Donkey Kong movie with out the "there's a Donkey Kong kill screen coming up" guy.

I'm not sure what's more frightening: How true this statement is, or that Ham recognizes this about himself and is willing to admit it on the board.

 

[piratemike]

I have a meeting with a lawyer on Thursday so once I get through the legal ramifications, I will have a lot more information for you all.

 

[General Malaise]

Whatever... Ask me, Jefferson blew a good opportunity. The movie without me is like the Donkey Kong movie with out the "there's a Donkey Kong kill screen coming up" guy.

What's that disease you have?

Narcissism.

 

[Oh Yes!]

can i get a running poohclock in this?

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Whatever... Ask me, Jefferson blew a good opportunity. The movie without me is like the Donkey Kong movie with out the "there's a Donkey Kong kill screen coming up" guy.

What's that disease you have?

Narcissism.

Dude, he called the feds on Otis ONCE. Besides, I don't think being a narc is a disease.

 

[Guest]

I think if were a Narcissis, I'd want to be in the movie. I don't. Plus, in real life you have no idea. I am about as too myself as there gets. Since I'm here alone in Australia, most nights I cook for myself in my apartment and watch TV. When I do go out, I'm a fly on the wall. Friendly and personable, but not looking for attention. I'm social, but to myself for the most part. Easy to get a false impression of someone here. Yes, I fly off the handle here sometimes... I'm passionate overall... But I am not an attention seeker in life. Quite the opposite. And if you were to interview me, which you're not, I imagine the only thing remarkable would be how normal I am. Of course, having to defend some of the things I've said here would put me back on my heels. I can imagine basically feeling like a tobacco executive on 60 Minutes. Not fun. But if you're looking for a guy ranting and raving it simply wouldn't happen.

 

[BRONG]

I can't wait to see the interview with Mr. Ham.

 

[E Street Brat]

If Ham is in this movie, then I'm out. He's such a diva, and impossible to work worth.

 

[Foosball God]

Thanks for all the PMs, a lot of you have mentioned Herbert the Hippo and do not despair, he is on the master list that I am compiling. Getting these guys to agree to share their lives on camera will be the challenge. Its obvious that I will need those that want their 15 minutes of fame in order to pull this off.

I want to use this time as an open recruitment, if you think you have a good story that America wants to hear and it can be documented on this board, let me know. This is a work in progress, I am very open to the idea that there is a lot of material yet to come.

 

[Wrigley]

Can I send my wife to Mexico again for the movie

I really liked the time home, alone.

 

[Sheriff Bart]

Can I send my wife to Mexico again for the movieI really liked the time home, alone.

I'll escort her.

 

[BR33ZE]

This is quickly gaining ground on a top 5 fishing trip of '09.

 

[Bonzai]

.

 

[Brock Middlebrook]

Maybe he'll let you spend ten minutes promoting California Hold 'Em...

 

[General Malaise]

I can't wait to see the interview with Mr. Ham.

Hopefully he'll change his mind. I really want him to tell us another riveting story about being shot with a water gun.

 

[Giant Wooden Badger]

Can I just show up every 25 minutes during the film spouting stupid one-liners? Please make sure all of my funniest lines get deleted like they do here.

LOL, so true.

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

I think we will see a Confederacy of Dunces movie out before this documentary

 

[Jefferson the Caregiver]

I met with a guy who does documentaries for VH1, has been signed to do a few of those real Hollywood stories and lost a good chunk of change trying to produce his own documentary.

He told me that 95% of documentaries lose money and you have to be prepared to put about $100,000 on the line to lose.

So the biggest hurdle is going to be raising the money to lose.

I have some ideas in mind to raise the cash but right now am busy trying to write a logline and a 30 second promo. Once I have my goals established, I will start working on my cast and the releases that need to be signed and then see if my benefactors want to ride this all the way to a Film Festival.

 

[cstu]

I met with a guy who does documentaries for VH1, has been signed to do a few of those real Hollywood stories and lost a good chunk of change trying to produce his own documentary.He told me that 95% of documentaries lose money and you have to be prepared to put about $100,000 on the line to lose.So the biggest hurdle is going to be raising the money to lose.I have some ideas in mind to raise the cash but right now am busy trying to write a logline and a 30 second promo. Once I have my goals established, I will start working on my cast and the releases that need to be signed and then see if my benefactors want to ride this all the way to a Film Festival.

Should cost a lot less than $100k to travel around the country with a video camera. NM, the other $90k must be for hookers and blow.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Soundtrack?

We're fairly flexible on contract terms (so long as we all make enough to retire comfortably). Feel free to have your lawyers draw something up and I'll have our people take a look.

Our people = Bobby Sac?

Are you kidding? Bobby Sac is a lyrical genius, but he couldn't negotiate his way out of a wet paper bag. Woz has agreed to represent us in the contract talks.

You reject Bobby Sac but put Woz on retainer? I question your judgment.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Although I don't play werewolf maybe the final scene is the big reveal on who is the werewolf? My apologies if I misunderstand the game.

I don't play werewolf either, it's not something I know a thing about and I don't have any intention of covering it.I am looking at getting 10 good stories and hoping that 5-6 of them make it to film.

Werewolf could be a movie unto itself. It doesn't need you.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

I met with a guy who does documentaries for VH1, has been signed to do a few of those real Hollywood stories and lost a good chunk of change trying to produce his own documentary.He told me that 95% of documentaries lose money and you have to be prepared to put about $100,000 on the line to lose.So the biggest hurdle is going to be raising the money to lose.I have some ideas in mind to raise the cash but right now am busy trying to write a logline and a 30 second promo. Once I have my goals established, I will start working on my cast and the releases that need to be signed and then see if my benefactors want to ride this all the way to a Film Festival.

Shouldn't you secure the talent before doing anything else? If none of your prospective interviewees want to be in the movie, it seems like you're screwed. And I'd imagine a lot of people here would be hesitant to appear in a movie.

 

[Jefferson the Caregiver]

If none of your prospective interviewees want to be in the movie, it seems like you're screwed. And I'd imagine a lot of people here would be hesitant to appear in a movie.

Thanks for your advice but I have already received a lot of PMs asking to be in this movie. People want their 15 minutes of fame and I may be just the guy to give it to them.Have no fear though, you are not on the short list.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

If none of your prospective interviewees want to be in the movie, it seems like you're screwed. And I'd imagine a lot of people here would be hesitant to appear in a movie.

Thanks for your advice but I have already received a lot of PMs asking to be in this movie. People want their 15 minutes of fame and I may be just the guy to give it to them.Have no fear though, you are not on the short list.

I'm hoping to appear in the sequel.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

If none of your prospective interviewees want to be in the movie, it seems like you're screwed. And I'd imagine a lot of people here would be hesitant to appear in a movie.

Thanks for your advice but I have already received a lot of PMs asking to be in this movie. People want their 15 minutes of fame and I may be just the guy to give it to them.Have no fear though, you are not on the short list.

I'm hoping to appear in the sequel.

FBG Part ###: The Blue Board

 

[General Malaise]

My audition tape is on youtube right now.

 

[Mr. Know-It-All]

If I were an interesting FBGer, my fear of full frontal nudity would preclude me from appearing. That and West Coast Bias.

 

[Tiger Fan]

final scene needs to be at $cupper cabin with :11:

 

[spacevan]

Jefferson. I'm in. I am a Producer and I can help you with this if you would like.

By the by. we don't need Ham. Ham needs us. Otherwise he's just blocks of text in the ether.

 

[Guest]

Otherwise he's just blocks of text in the ether.

Exactly. People love watching blocks of text.

 

[McBokonon]

Can I just show up every 25 minutes during the film spouting stupid one-liners? Please make sure all of my funniest lines get deleted like they do here.

LOL, so true.

I had some Cannes material killed in the deleted Ham Loves Gays thread. This movie needs me.

 

[Mr.Pack]

If none of your prospective interviewees want to be in the movie, it seems like you're screwed. And I'd imagine a lot of people here would be hesitant to appear in a movie.

Thanks for your advice but I have already received a lot of PMs asking to be in this movie. People want their 15 minutes of fame and I may be just the guy to give it to them.Have no fear though, you are not on the short list.

Am I on the short list? The medium list? The long list? Any list?

 

[MCguidance]

This movie sucks.

 

[strykerpks]

Can I be the drunk guy?

 

[Snickers]

is this in post-production yet?

 

[E-Z Glider]

is this in post-production yet?

 

[awesomeness]

Interview went great, thanks for having me

 

[videoguy505]

is this in post-production yet?

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

I know some of you are probably not going to want to be filmed in your essence but let me be clear, we will not be using any real names in this movie. You will be known as your footballguy handle only and that is how you will be listed in the credits. Yes those close to you, are going to recognize you but I am not asking you to be anything but yourself and they should already be familiar with those complexities and oddities.

In the case of Bryant and Dodds and possibly Tremblay, I may need to make an exception. I do think it will lend an aura of credibility if I can use your full nomen appelature and since you guys are the straight shooters on this board, that will be necesary. Not that this whole movie won't be real but I think the audience is going to have a hard time believing some of you exist.

Some themes I am going to be exploring..

The Russian Bride Draft

Capturing the Mood on the board the morning of 9/11, your posts that day

I am going to need the rights to some of these love triangles

The passing of an internet friend

Tasting the Flesh

Psychological profiles of your typical FFA poster vs your Shark Pool Guys

The Lhucksian controversies and how he created a legion of haters

What was going through your mind during your first cornhole, nervous, excited? How you felt afterward. Dirty, sick, the launching of a real friendship?

Board wars

The trials and tribulations of the Mad Sceintist- Cosjobs- and his business schemes

The tuna incident and how you reacted when your wife took your Tommy Bahamas to the wrong drycleaner

10 minute interview with Mr Ham- I won't ask any questions, I am expecting a full monologue for the entire 10 minutes

Religious debates and threads- meet the participants

Spotlighting some threads where there has been heated debate and filming a couple of the participants when they are meeting for the first time in real life

You are at the Canadian border, customs is asking a lot of questions and you have to explain how you and the FBG in the car know each other

There has to be one feel good story, maybe the way the board came together during Katrina?

update?

 

[NCCommish]

Soundtrack?

We're fairly flexible on contract terms (so long as we all make enough to retire comfortably). Feel free to have your lawyers draw something up and I'll have our people take a look.

Our people = Bobby Sac?

Are you kidding? Bobby Sac is a lyrical genius, but he couldn't negotiate his way out of a wet paper bag. Woz has agreed to represent us in the contract talks.

I stand corrected.

 

[NCCommish]

10 minute interview with Mr Ham- I won't ask any questions, I am expecting a full monologue for the entire 10 minutes

Had me, then lost me. I thought this sounded interesting, but I will 100% not participate with someone who has insulted me. But good luck.

Oh lighten up

 

[Mr. Chumley]

If you don't include the whole Man in the yellow hat saga where Steve may or may not have had his way with the wife, I'm not even going to waste my $2.99 on renting this flick.

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

Update?