Marital Advice - Friendly camping trip too friendly? (1 Viewer)

[Doug B]

Koya

 

[jpwest]

The part of this story I don't understand is how you were told your wife was in a bathroom stall with another man multiple times, and didn't do anything.

That was the first thing that stood out to me in his post. HTF do you just sit, idly by after a friend brings this to your attention?

You know, this really seems to be the big thing for a lot of people here. I don't think we've seen an exact description of these conversations from MitYH, but put yourself in his place for a minute. You're sitting by the campfire, beer in hand. "George" comes up to you and says one of the following:a) (quietly) "Hey, dude. I saw Steve and your wife go into the bathroom stall together and they've been there for a while. You should really go see what's going on."- or -b) (laughing) "Dude, check it out. Your wife and Steve's wife came into the bathroom with us. She even went into the same stall with Steve!"Now, if it was more like version a), then there's no question that you haul ### to the bathroom to see what's what. But if it's version b), odds are good that you laugh with George, have another beer and expect that they'll be back any minute. If you leap up and run off, you're announcing to the group that you don't trust your wife with Steve.From what we've heard, I suspect it was more like version b). Hindsight being 20/20, it would have been great if MitYH had rushed right up there. At the time, though, I bet it seemed like just another "our crazy friends" drinking story, along with Steve's wife flashing, etc.

 

[General Malaise]

now that we're all friends and stuff, can we get a little picture of Mrs. ManHat? Please?

 

[Fullback Fro]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

 

[General Malaise]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

 

[John Maddens Lunchbox]

Have you had relations with your wife since this happened?

[steve]I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman[/steve]

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

pie irons for that ###

 

[Kit Fisto]

Friend: "Hey Kit, you need to check up on your wife. Her and Steve are in the same bathroom stall doing something you wouldn't be too happy with."

Kit Fisto: (rising from chair in a hurried fashion) "Point it out. Then go call 911."

Sorry guys, call me "iTough guy", "Alpha-male meathead" all you want, but me and Steve would have issues that would need to be dealt with IMMEDIATELY.

But what I can't believe is that no one has pointed this out to MITYH... What if there was no infidelity? What if your wife was hurt? What if she fell and hit her head? What if she was passed out in a puddle of puke/piss/crap? Your wife should be your best friend in the world. Look after her as such.

iToughguy, Alpha-male Meathead.Seriously it sounds like Steve walked to the ####ter. 38DD followed him in..... and that's it.

If you beat your friend of 10 years up for walking up to the bathroom and being busted in on by your wife, I'd hate to see what you'd do to your wife.

Maybe I don't need to beat my friend senseless (if he was innocent in the whole thing), but the confrontation needs to happen RIGHT THEN AND THERE. Not weeks later, or over the phone... And again, all scenarios aside... Your wife should be your best friend in the world. Look after her as such. I'll bet next time, MITYH gets up out of his chair.

 

[Shrek]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

I'm glad someone else finally said this.

 

[Fullback Fro]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

pie irons for that ###

so you make pies in the iron and then put the pie on your ### when its done? what kind of pies doe they make?

Do you put crust and fruit in the pie iron, stick in on the fire and then open and pie is hot and ready?

What goes in the pie iron?

 

[code]

i still haven't voted in the ridiculous poll.

Better hurry...I hear options are disappearing fast...

 

[Shrek]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

pie irons for that ###

so you make pies in the iron and then put the pie on your ### when its done? what kind of pies doe they make?

Do you put crust and fruit in the pie iron, stick in on the fire and then open and pie is hot and ready?

What goes in the pie iron?

Step 1- Butter two slices of breadStep 2- Tear off crusts

Step 3- Put bread slices in pie iron, butter sides out

Step 4- Put pie filling between slices of bread

Step 5- Close, cook over fire

Step 6- Enjoy

 

[Fullback Fro]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

pie irons for that ###

so you make pies in the iron and then put the pie on your ### when its done? what kind of pies doe they make?

Do you put crust and fruit in the pie iron, stick in on the fire and then open and pie is hot and ready?

What goes in the pie iron?

Step 1- Butter two slices of breadStep 2- Tear off crusts

Step 3- Put bread slices in pie iron, butter sides out

Step 4- Put pie filling between slices of bread

Step 5- Close, cook over fire

Step 6- Enjoy

Sound more like a grilled cheese maker

 

[RudiStein]

now that we're all friends and stuff, can we get a little picture of Mrs. ManHat? Please?

LinkFrom L to R: Steve's wife, MIYH, Unidentified male, George.

Not Pictured: Steve, Mrs. MIYH

 

[VASteel]

[Well news for you and most of the other posters - the only difference between you and MITYH is he is MAN ENOUGH to admit that something might have happened, is apparantly putting blame all around as he searches for an answer, and is looking to communicate with his wife before this becomes something that spirals out of control. The rest of you, judging by your "judgementalness" and harsh opininions all around can walk through life assuming you are above all this - until one day you walk in and actually SEE your wife getting banged on your sofa, or come home to see an empty home because she already left.

:X Well it DIDN'T happen to the rest of us did it? It happened to him and probably for a reason. He doesn't deserve credit for admitting anything. If he would have addmitted problems and manned up in the first place none of this would have happend.

 

[Strumey]

now that we're all friends and stuff, can we get a little picture of Mrs. ManHat? Please?

LinkFrom L to R: Steve's wife, MIYH, Unidentified male, George.

Not Pictured: Steve, Mrs. MIYH

 

[Shrek]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

pie irons for that ###

so you make pies in the iron and then put the pie on your ### when its done? what kind of pies doe they make?

Do you put crust and fruit in the pie iron, stick in on the fire and then open and pie is hot and ready?

What goes in the pie iron?

Step 1- Butter two slices of breadStep 2- Tear off crusts

Step 3- Put bread slices in pie iron, butter sides out

Step 4- Put pie filling between slices of bread

Step 5- Close, cook over fire

Step 6- Enjoy

Sound more like a grilled cheese maker

Don't knock it until you try it. This is quality stuff.Also there are other variations, but this is what most people do.

 

[wraith5]

there's a poll?

 

[ScottNorwood]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

pie irons for that ###

so you make pies in the iron and then put the pie on your ### when its done? what kind of pies doe they make?

Do you put crust and fruit in the pie iron, stick in on the fire and then open and pie is hot and ready?

What goes in the pie iron?

Step 1- Butter two slices of breadStep 2- Tear off crusts

Step 3- Put bread slices in pie iron, butter sides out

Step 4- Put pie filling between slices of bread

Step 5- Close, cook over fire

Step 6- Enjoy

Sound more like a grilled cheese maker

Don't knock it until you try it. This is quality stuff.Also there are other variations, but this is what most people do.

Yeah, but how does this reduce the chances of spousal infidelity?

 

[phthalatemagic]

I think the Yellow Hat guy just issued his wife a "cheat on your husband and blame it on the bored housewife complex" card.

Good luck dude! Move some money around so you will be ready when you get to your breaking point.

 

[3C's]

there's a poll?

:softball:

 

[wraith5]

Friend: "Hey Kit, you need to check up on your wife. Her and Steve are in the same bathroom stall doing something you wouldn't be too happy with."

Kit Fisto: (rising from chair in a hurried fashion) "Point it out. Then go call 911."

Sorry guys, call me "iTough guy", "Alpha-male meathead" all you want, but me and Steve would have issues that would need to be dealt with IMMEDIATELY.

But what I can't believe is that no one has pointed this out to MITYH... What if there was no infidelity? What if your wife was hurt? What if she fell and hit her head? What if she was passed out in a puddle of puke/piss/crap? Your wife should be your best friend in the world. Look after her as such.

iToughguy, Alpha-male Meathead.Seriously it sounds like Steve walked to the ####ter. 38DD followed him in..... and that's it.

If you beat your friend of 10 years up for walking up to the bathroom and being busted in on by your wife, I'd hate to see what you'd do to your wife.

Maybe I don't need to beat my friend senseless (if he was innocent in the whole thing), but the confrontation needs to happen RIGHT THEN AND THERE. Not weeks later, or over the phone... And again, all scenarios aside... Your wife should be your best friend in the world. Look after her as such. I'll bet next time, MITYH gets up out of his chair.

I feel compelled to agree with the Jedi.

 

[wraith5]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

pie irons for that ###

so you make pies in the iron and then put the pie on your ### when its done? what kind of pies doe they make?

Do you put crust and fruit in the pie iron, stick in on the fire and then open and pie is hot and ready?

What goes in the pie iron?

Step 1- Butter two slices of breadStep 2- Tear off crusts

Step 3- Put bread slices in pie iron, butter sides out

Step 4- Put pie filling between slices of bread

Step 5- Close, cook over fire

Step 6- Enjoy

Sound more like a grilled cheese maker

Don't knock it until you try it. This is quality stuff.Also there are other variations, but this is what most people do.

Yeah, but how does this reduce the chances of spousal infidelity?

Keeps Steve focused on one pie at a time.

 

[Klecko HOF]

Ok, I'm going to take issue with something else. Option 3 - Have wife call Steve to see what happened.What. The. ####.Don't take this too personally, but you're really coming across as a girly-man here. I'm no over machoed ape, but when it comes to my wife and #### like this happening, I'm going to act like a machine that runs on testosterone until I figure out what happened, and let the chips fall where they may. #1 - You didn't nip it in the bud when your wife was flirting with Steve at the campfire#2 - You didn't say "well heck, we'll make it a group trip" when your wife chased after Steve#3 - When your friend practically told you your wife was getting schlonked in the bathroom, you didn't do #####4 - When your wife and Steve came back, him with a ####-eating grin on his face, you sat on your hands.#5 - Now, the next morning, you're acting like an inquisitive 6 year old asking how a lamp works. Screw that. Man up, dude.My guess is Steve is kind of a #### - he's not sensitive, he's a bit rude, and he goes and gets what he wants. Your wife probably finds those qualities attractive. You lack them. You come onto the FFA saying "gee, do you think anything happened" when all of us have a pretty damn good idea what happened. You need to throw your weight around, establish yourself, and make damn sure it's known by all parties that A) You know what happened, B) Your wife will never see Steve again and C) You're making these decisions, and you're finding out the info.I'm sorry man, but you need a verbal brow-beating. You're acting like a wimp, your wife cheated on you with you right there, the guy she did it with laughed in your face, and now you've got a board full of strangers all thinking the same thing - "Man, this poor guy's kind of a limp-****." Now you're going to have her call the dude to "see what happened?" SHE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED. SHE'S NOT TELLING YOU BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW. Does that piss you off? It ####### better piss you off. It better piss you off so bad it makes you shake and cry. It better piss you off so bad that you get off your ###, stop trying to justify #### in your head, and take some control of your damn life. I'm not saying leave her. I posted earlier - to err is human, to forgive divine. You just gotta nip this problem in the bud right ####### now. And a good portion of that problem is you.Joe>hi - sorry for the blatant use of words that end up looking like #####. I don't ####### care. He needs to hear this.

What he said

 

[Shrek]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

pie irons for that ###

so you make pies in the iron and then put the pie on your ### when its done? what kind of pies doe they make?

Do you put crust and fruit in the pie iron, stick in on the fire and then open and pie is hot and ready?

What goes in the pie iron?

Step 1- Butter two slices of breadStep 2- Tear off crusts

Step 3- Put bread slices in pie iron, butter sides out

Step 4- Put pie filling between slices of bread

Step 5- Close, cook over fire

Step 6- Enjoy

Sound more like a grilled cheese maker

Don't knock it until you try it. This is quality stuff.Also there are other variations, but this is what most people do.

Yeah, but how does this reduce the chances of spousal infidelity?

Keeps Steve focused on one pie at a time.

At least, on the right pie.

 

[General Malaise]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

pie irons for that ###

so you make pies in the iron and then put the pie on your ### when its done? what kind of pies doe they make?

Do you put crust and fruit in the pie iron, stick in on the fire and then open and pie is hot and ready?

What goes in the pie iron?

Step 1- Butter two slices of breadStep 2- Tear off crusts

Step 3- Put bread slices in pie iron, butter sides out

Step 4- Put pie filling between slices of bread

Step 5- Close, cook over fire

Step 6- Enjoy

Sound more like a grilled cheese maker

Don't knock it until you try it. This is quality stuff.Also there are other variations, but this is what most people do.

why do i have to take the crust off? I like crust.

 

[tommyboy]

look on the bright side, at least she didn't leave you and the kids for her lesbian lover.

 

[ScottNorwood]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

pie irons for that ###

so you make pies in the iron and then put the pie on your ### when its done? what kind of pies doe they make?

Do you put crust and fruit in the pie iron, stick in on the fire and then open and pie is hot and ready?

What goes in the pie iron?

Step 1- Butter two slices of breadStep 2- Tear off crusts

Step 3- Put bread slices in pie iron, butter sides out

Step 4- Put pie filling between slices of bread

Step 5- Close, cook over fire

Step 6- Enjoy

Sound more like a grilled cheese maker

Don't knock it until you try it. This is quality stuff.Also there are other variations, but this is what most people do.

why do i have to take the crust off? I like crust.

I'm a little confused but from what I can tell crust=cheating wife

 

[shuke]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

Link

 

[Sabertooth]

Friend: "Hey Kit, you need to check up on your wife. Her and Steve are in the same bathroom stall doing something you wouldn't be too happy with."

Kit Fisto: (rising from chair in a hurried fashion) "Point it out. Then go call 911."

Sorry guys, call me "iTough guy", "Alpha-male meathead" all you want, but me and Steve would have issues that would need to be dealt with IMMEDIATELY.

But what I can't believe is that no one has pointed this out to MITYH... What if there was no infidelity? What if your wife was hurt? What if she fell and hit her head? What if she was passed out in a puddle of puke/piss/crap? Your wife should be your best friend in the world. Look after her as such.

iToughguy, Alpha-male Meathead.Seriously it sounds like Steve walked to the ####ter. 38DD followed him in..... and that's it.

If you beat your friend of 10 years up for walking up to the bathroom and being busted in on by your wife, I'd hate to see what you'd do to your wife.

Maybe I don't need to beat my friend senseless (if he was innocent in the whole thing), but the confrontation needs to happen RIGHT THEN AND THERE. Not weeks later, or over the phone... And again, all scenarios aside... Your wife should be your best friend in the world. Look after her as such. I'll bet next time, MITYH gets up out of his chair.

I feel compelled to agree with the Jedi.

I agree that he won't make this mistake again. And I agree that he should have gone the first time. But how does this help him now? It's all water under the bridge at this point.

 

[General Malaise]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

pie irons for that ###

so you make pies in the iron and then put the pie on your ### when its done? what kind of pies doe they make?

Do you put crust and fruit in the pie iron, stick in on the fire and then open and pie is hot and ready?

What goes in the pie iron?

Step 1- Butter two slices of breadStep 2- Tear off crusts

Step 3- Put bread slices in pie iron, butter sides out

Step 4- Put pie filling between slices of bread

Step 5- Close, cook over fire

Step 6- Enjoy

Sound more like a grilled cheese maker

Don't knock it until you try it. This is quality stuff.Also there are other variations, but this is what most people do.

why do i have to take the crust off? I like crust.

I'm a little confused but from what I can tell crust=cheating wife

Did I say I liked crust? I meant CUST. JACK CUST. I ADORE HIM.:nervouschuckle:

 

[shuke]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

pie irons for that ###

so you make pies in the iron and then put the pie on your ### when its done? what kind of pies doe they make?

Do you put crust and fruit in the pie iron, stick in on the fire and then open and pie is hot and ready?

What goes in the pie iron?

Step 1- Butter two slices of breadStep 2- Tear off crusts

Step 3- Put bread slices in pie iron, butter sides out

Step 4- Put pie filling between slices of bread

Step 5- Close, cook over fire

Step 6- Enjoy

Sound more like a grilled cheese maker

Don't knock it until you try it. This is quality stuff.Also there are other variations, but this is what most people do.

Yeah, but how does this reduce the chances of spousal infidelity?

Once you break out the pie irons, no one's leaving that campsite. I guarantee it.

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

This all would have never happened if MITYH would have brought pie irons on the camping trip.

what are pie irons?

I'm glad I didnt' have to ask.and no mention of "The Lady J" this whole time either.

pie irons for that ###

so you make pies in the iron and then put the pie on your ### when its done? what kind of pies doe they make?

Do you put crust and fruit in the pie iron, stick in on the fire and then open and pie is hot and ready?

What goes in the pie iron?

Step 1- Butter two slices of breadStep 2- Tear off crusts

Step 3- Put bread slices in pie iron, butter sides out

Step 4- Put pie filling between slices of bread

Step 5- Close, cook over fire

Step 6- Enjoy

Sound more like a grilled cheese maker

Don't knock it until you try it. This is quality stuff.Also there are other variations, but this is what most people do.

Yeah, but how does this reduce the chances of spousal infidelity?

Once you break out the pie irons, no one's leaving that campsite. I guarantee it.

besides that, they make a very handy, red-hot weapon, in case any SO's are groped, etc. try throwing your traditional grilled cheese maker in the campfire and see what happens

 

[3C's]

Man in the yellow hat, hope you're doing ok and able to sleep better.

 

[Chaka]

It's been kind of interesting for me to see how someone with a completely different personality reacts to something like this. It really seems like he has basically absolved everyone involved, including Steve. I couldn't imagine being so passive. I wouldn't surprise me at all if the same characters went out camping again next year like nothing ever happened.

This is very possibly the truth, and if it is then why not go camping again?

 

[Klecko HOF]

The part of this story I don't understand is how you were told your wife was in a bathroom stall with another man multiple times, and didn't do anything.

That was the first thing that stood out to me in his post.

HTF do you just sit, idly by after a friend brings this to your attention?

You know, this really seems to be the big thing for a lot of people here. I don't think we've seen an exact description of these conversations from MitYH, but put yourself in his place for a minute. You're sitting by the campfire, beer in hand. "George" comes up to you and says one of the following:a) (quietly) "Hey, dude. I saw Steve and your wife go into the bathroom stall together and they've been there for a while. You should really go see what's going on."

- or -

b) (laughing) "Dude, check it out. Your wife and Steve's wife came into the bathroom with us. She even went into the same stall with Steve!"

Now, if it was more like version a), then there's no question that you haul ### to the bathroom to see what's what. But if it's version b), odds are good that you laugh with George, have another beer and expect that they'll be back any minute. If you leap up and run off, you're announcing to the group that you don't trust your wife with Steve.

From what we've heard, I suspect it was more like version b). Hindsight being 20/20, it would have been great if MitYH had rushed right up there. At the time, though, I bet it seemed like just another "our crazy friends" drinking story, along with Steve's wife flashing, etc.

I can picture that as well, however, and maybe I'm misunderstanding things here, but 15 minutes later she's not back?Regardless of what I feel, I get up and check on her. If she had been drinking heavily, as MITYH claimed, then that is more than enough reason to check up on her.

The point is, the guy had to come to him TWICE about his wife. Fifteen minutes is plenty of time for me to think something isn't right. Five minutes, and I start to think seriously about what George said. Hell, MITYH sounds as if he were drinking plenty himself. Would it look so bad if, after five mintues, he got up and went to the bathroom himself?

Anyway, I think plenty of people have weighed in on this. Good luck MITYH

 

[flufhed]

Friend: "Hey Kit, you need to check up on your wife. Her and Steve are in the same bathroom stall doing something you wouldn't be too happy with."But what I can't believe is that no one has pointed this out to MITYH...

 

[rascal]

Ineteresting times are ahead for us. We talked for a couple hours about things last night, and she certainly knows where I stand. We covered a lot of ground.

What was covered, other than her knowing where you stand? Any decisions made? Any changes implemented? Any actions taken?

A few things. She said one of the reasons she really let loose with the drinking that day was that it was the first time in a long that she was able to 'not think about the kids'. She knew they were safe with my parents, and knew we would see them the next day. So, no responsiblity for her. As a stay at home mom, I think she does indeed feel 'trapped' at times with the kids. That has to be a factor here for these actions.

I went over how me and Steve have completely different personalities. I asked her point blank if that's an issue for her. The posters here have pretty much pegged my personality, and have a decent read on Steve. She claims these differences are the reason she's with me. I told her that's great, but there's a big part of me that believes she's flattered and possibilty excited by the idea that she did something with the bad boy, since I don't fit that category. She said any time a mother of two has anyone find her attractive, that it is an ego boost. The idea of something actually happening does not make her excited though.

This was a interesting point that she brought up. She said it became very clear to her as we talked this week that there aren't many boundaries with a certain subset of our friends. Not all of the people camping, but about half of them. She chalks this up to a few things. One is that for a year or two before we met, she was a 'one of the guys' kind of girl. She hung out with these guys a lot, strictly as friends. So, she was a lot more smartass and open with them than most women would be. Second, this led to all of us kind of being that way amongst each other, especially where spouse's were concerned. What's really interesting is that you can see a separation between the group that actually acts this way and group that doesn't. Same camping trip, same envinroment, just different ways of interacting. So, we both decided that will be much more careful about how we interact with certain people in the future.

As for decisions, we didn't get into too much of that. She actually brought up counseling, and is all for going to counseling together. We also figured out that we need to spend more time together than we do. We get awful busy during the week, and she works outside the house every other weekend, so it's tough for us to find time to just be together.

Consider this your warning MIYH. Seriously. This is her way of saying that she requires some affirmations from you that she is not getting.

A Warning how?A warning that yes, she is human and many women feel this same way - and this is something that MITYH (and anyone else) should be aware of for the interests of their spouse, self, kids, family?

or a warning that WifeITYH is somehow looking for something more and is suggesting she is more prone to cheating than someone else?

because the former is perfectly acceptable. The latter is a huge reach and overstatement like many in this thread... errr novel.

A warning that he isn't letting her know that she's attractive enough, and that hearing it from someone else actually seems like it's kind of a surprise to hear. If she hears it enough and in the right ways at home, she will not be swayed in the LEAST by another man's words.

Fair enough. She is human, she had needs, she has ego. MITYH needs to understand this or, indeed, things will head south. This is true of just about all relationships, however imo.

What a load of ####. So she didn't have her ego fed by him and was feeling trapped by the kids so she felt the need to at least grab another guys junk and let him feel her up AT THE LEAST?!?! Horse ####. If it requires MIYH to constantly feed her ego to keep her loyal then her ### needs to hit the curb.This is her fault all the way, to twist it to some of his responsibility for not feeding her ego/etc is a load of crap.

(1) Chill(2) Some context please?

(3) :lmao)

(4) Chill

I never said it was not her fault... but you (and many others here) are acting as if you and all of YOUR relationships are "above" this stuff.

1/2 of marriages end in divorce. Probably considerably more result in some infidelity. The fact is, is in marriage it is easy to slip into the taking each other for granted routine. It is hard to notice as this happens bit by bit, but in the end one or both of the parties feels neglected, or unloved, or unwanted, or unattractive.

To act as if WifeINYH is so unique and bad and different than, I dont know, 80% of YOUR wives (for those who are married) is arrogant and self serving.

It is not his responsibility if she cheated. It IS his responsibility to ensure that he gives her attention, loves her, works to make their marriage work. If he doesnt do these things, then HUMAN NECESSITY AND NATURE will take over and if no cheating occured here, I GUARANTEE it will in the future. And YES, MITYH would have SOME bearing of that responsibility. Don't act like because you are the man in the relationship that you dont need to make your wife feel fulfilled and can expect fidelity just because.

Oh, and the same can be said in reverse... WifeITYH, or any wife, damn better take care of her man as well, or HIS human nature and necessity will take over.

The fact is, it seems like we have a somewhat lonely wife, wondering what has happened to all the excitement in life... just like SO many people experience everyday. To think that MITYH has NOTHING to do with this is insane. It does not mean that the Wife is not ultimately responsible for her actions, but a husband and wife owe it to each other not to make one another feel so unloved, unattracted, unwanted that they do seek outside gratification / ego boost / sexual interaction.

I mean really, the people on this board talk as if something like this would NEVER happen to THEIR perfect relationships. That they will NEVER be the 50% that divorce. NEVER be to 60, 70 or 80% that cheat, get cheated on, or both.

Well news for you and most of the other posters - the only difference between you and MITYH is he is MAN ENOUGH to admit that something might have happened, is apparantly putting blame all around as he searches for an answer, and is looking to communicate with his wife before this becomes something that spirals out of control.

The rest of you, judging by your "judgementalness" and harsh opininions all around can walk through life assuming you are above all this - until one day you walk in and actually SEE your wife getting banged on your sofa, or come home to see an empty home because she already left.

MITYH at least recognized the issue and is willing to face it... perhaps he is lucky it only amounted to this before he found out there are some serious underlying issues in his marriage (which btw, is VERY normal for most humans... FBGs obviously not included since we are above this stuff apparantly)

First, where did I state my marriage was above this?Second, how do you know he hasn't been giving her attention? Those statements alone doesn't signify that he hasn't. For all he knew he was but she failed to communicate that he wasn't.

Third, your generalizations are amusing at best. "I mean really, the people on this board talk as if something like this would NEVER happen to THEIR perfect relationships." Care to provide some examples for the majority, or does a couple of idiotic statements define the entire board.

Third, if she wasn't getting the attention she wanted, she should have stated so before she hugged another guys junk. Sorry but this crap about spreading the blame is a load of BS. She didn't communicate her feelings, and finally did so by holding Steve's junk and who knows what else. To put any blame any where else because she didn't communicate that she wasn't getting what she needed is crap.

You and the other "apologists" and weak opinions want to spread the blame around, when it's a simple fact that it wasn't MITYH being unfaithful, it was his wife. If you want to assume it was because he wasn't giving her enough credit, fine...but it doesn't make any difference at all. If she felt that way she should have voiced it and not go and do what she did. The blame is squarely on her. If they talk and she confides that she wasn't getting what she wanted, then fine, that needs to be addressed. But in no way does it excuse or justify her actions.

MITYH recognizing the issue? It's pretty easy to recognize the issue when your wife decides to hug another guys junk instead of communicating her feelings before hand. This is all on the wife for a) doing it, and b) not communicating her needs leading to it in the first place.

 

[Strumey]

one day Manhat is going to look back on this incident as the best thing that ever happened to his marriage. He and Mrs. Hat will be sitting on the couch.

Manhat: "honey, if you had never assisted steve in the campground stall, we would have never discovered the underlying problems in our marriage. We would never have been able to go to counseling and discover how much we truly love each other. Our marriage is the best in the world. I am so glad you grabbed steve's junk."

Mrs. Hat: "anything for you sweethart"

 

[rascal]

one day Manhat is going to look back on this incident as the best thing that ever happened to his marriage. He and Mrs. Hat will be sitting on the couch. Manhat: "honey, if you had never assisted steve in the campground stall, we would have never discovered the underlying problems in our marriage. We would never have been able to go to counseling and discover how much we truly love each other. Our marriage is the best in the world. I am so glad you grabbed steve's junk."Mrs. Hat: "anything for you sweethart"

LOL

 

[Statorama]

Next time you go camping with Steve, slip him a mickey.

 

[Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll]

To be clear, we ARE talking about Steve in Minneapolis, right?

 

[joffer]

Here is your weekend update. What next?In a shocking twist (riiiiggghht) Steve and his wife did not make it to the wedding. It was actually a pretty good time. George was there, and I didn't learn anything new. He was the only guy there that was on the camping trip. But here's where it gets interesting.I was at my parents' house this afternoon, and Steve returned my call. My cell rang and I saw the ID, but I did not answer considering I was in the middle of a B day lunch (nephew and dad). He left a message saying he'd be around all day and to call him back. So, we drove the couple hours back home, and I dropped my wife and kids off at her parents while I went to 'unpack the car'. So, first thing I did was call Steve back. His four year old answers. Says her dad's outside, but I can talk to her mom. Sweet. So, Steve's wife gets on and we exchange hello's and chat a bit. Steve is outside mowing the lawn, but she stops him and give him the phone. Paraphrased below:Steve: Hey, what's up?Me: Well, the reason I'm calling is my wife says that your camping trip to the bathroom got a little bit out of control.Steve: Ah, well. I don't think it was out of control.Me: Oh, well, she filled me in on her version, so I'd like to hear from you what went down.Steve: Well, nothing really happened. Me: What was she doing in the stall with you?Steve: Oh, she was goofing around. Followed me in and stood behind me, then just kind of jokingly reached over when I was peeing. Nothing happened at all.Me: Well, that sounds like something. So, what happened after that?Steve: Nothing. Me: Did she take her cans out of her shirt or did you?Steve: I don't remember that happening at all.Me: Oh really? She was pretty sure she showed you her rack.Steve: I'm pretty sure I'd remember that. That didn't happen.Me: Oh. OK. Well, so she held your junk while you peed.Steve: Well, not really. She kind of got right behind me and pushed me a bit. Then leaned over and took a peak.Me: As I hear it, she was actually holding your junk, not just looking.Steve: No, I would remember that. She might've gotten a peak, but that's it.Me: Right, OK. She seems to remember things a bit differently.Steve: Dude, I swear. Nothing really went down. I didn't see her rack, and she didn't touch my junk.Me: Well, she's pretty freaked out and wants to hear what you have to say about it too.Steve: If anything would've happened, i would remember it.blah, blah, blah.....____________________________________________________So, now what. It's been confirmed that she was in the stall, and that she was standing pretty much directly pushed up against him from behind. He says she reached for his junk jokingly, but never touched it. There was no explanation given for the length of time it took to make it back to camp. I have not said a word to my wife about this yet. Interestingly, she has not said a word about this in about two days. I have barely talked to her, other than minror chit chat. That's tough during a two hour car ride. She seems like she got over her 'shock' of this pretty quick.Not sure what to do next.....

let it go

 

[Ned]

i can't believe nobody has suggested checking the phone records. they could've easily matched stories...

 

[Card Trader]

i can't believe nobody has suggested checking the phone records. they could've easily matched stories...

If by nobody you in fact mean at least 15 people, then I see where you are coming from!

 

[crnerblitz]

Can we wrap this thread up in the next day or so. Now I'm the one who needs closure.

 

[krista4]

Koya

Everyone talks about how great GordonGekko's postings are (and sometimes they're good), but Koya's is likely the best non-hilarity-inducing posting I've ever read in the FFA.

 

[tdoss]

I haven't read all the responses so forgive if I reiterate stuff that's already been covered:

1. George is not a true friend...in my book. Yes, he told you to check on your wife...twice even...which gains him points. But...he could've stepped in there to do more to stop while there...but not everyone would do that...so I can give him a pass here. However...he told a third party that your wife was holding Steve's junk. Dude...at that point...it's readily apparent that you and your wife are entertainment and you're nothing more than a joke to him. If I were George...then I would've told you...and no one else...or not said anything at all. I might've stepped in at the time...might not have...depends on the situation and how serious I think it can get. Also...after the fact, George has clammed up. I can understand this to a point...but if your wife won't tell you anything and you're still asking me...then I would just air it all out. Unless I had a tighter friendship with Steve. Which...again...tells me that George really isn't a friend. I'd have a heart to heart with George and tell him straight up...he can either tell me every freaking minute detail or we're done talking altogether. I'd put the ball in his court.

2. Dude...please tell me that you do not buy that nonsense about your wife "not knowing what kinda guy Steve was". Please dude...just stop it. Women know men. They know pretty damned instinctively which guy will put a hurtin' on that 'gina at the drop of a hat...or in this case, drop of a zipper. She knew...definitely knows moreso now. It doesn't take long to pick up on those primal signals...but didn't you say she's been friends with these guys for many years? Come on bro...stop fooling yourself and tell your wife to please stop embarrassing herself and humiliating you by continuing that nonsense.

3. More happened. Although, if I wanted this to rest in my mind...I'd just assume they just showed each other their junk and the 15 minutes was how long it took Steve to convince her to own up to her end of the bargain. Problem is...she acts like she doesn't remember a freaking thing...and then when confronted with all this, just simply says blah and goes back to folding laundry. A man could've possibly raped her. Does she show real concern? No. Does she want answers. No. After a few days of not knowing is she becoming more concerned. No. She knows exactly what happened and just wants this all to go away.

4. Don't buy into the "she must not have talked to Steve because he said she pushed up on him" bull. She and he have talked...I know it. He and George have also talked. It's all been washed. Steve probably freaked a bit when George and her told him so she offered for him to say she pushed in on him...what are you going to do...she says she was totally plastered and doesn't remember anything so how can she be blamed for something she did "unknowingly"? And let me tell you something brother...if a friend called me up and started asking me questions about what happened I would've responded with more heat if I were innocent. I'll be damned if some broad is going to say I took her boobs out when I didn't. I would've responded with, "What did she say happened exactly?" and I would've been interrogating you and her at that point. No way do I just say, "No man...didn't happen."

5. That conversation with your wife is definitely a hint. She's put out some preliminary excuses for her behavior with "anytime a man finds a mother of two attractive" nonsense...and being "stuck with the kids". You've got work ahead of you. Get into counseling and make sure you air out everything that's going on...because those little hints can end up being landmines before long.

6. What else can you do here? You're not the type to sit all parties down and have it out so what are you left with? Time has passed...all parties have washed the story so you're stuck. I hope counseling will help but not sure how it will since you know...you KNOW more happened but she won't admit it...not even to the therapist. Good luck with this bro...if it were me...I'd do like I said before and just forgive and forget. It was just sex...and probably just two people admiring each other's junk at worst. But I'll be damned if I allow "just held his junk" and "blackout" as being the end to this. If it were me...I'd honestly get past it being the worst case scenario and just tell her straight up, "Hey...I know you and Steve knocked it out in the stall...and honestly...I'm cool with it...but I'm not cool with the coverup."

7. Lastly...even if you can't somehow forgive and forget...know that you are the reason for this. Yes, she may have stepped out and did whatever...but you let it happen. And probably not just at this camping site. What I mean is...stop being a victim and get involved in your life. Be who you want to be and take control of your life. And most importantly...if a friend or even a passerby ever tells you, "Hey bro...you should check on your wife...DUDE...FOR GOD'S SAKE...get off your @zz!"

 

[AnonymousBob]

MITYH, hope everything works out for the best. This has been one heckuva thread.

I have still yet to vote.

 

[Smarge]

Last one out, turn out the lights....