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My Mom Died Wednesday (1 Viewer)

Joe Bryant said:
I'm ok here. Don't worry about me. I don't share this looking for sympathy or anything like that. My Mom had a very strong faith and I don't see this as a tragedy at all.
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I lost my mom in May and felt similarly to you that I wasn't looking for sympathy in sharing the news of her passing here, but the sympathy - and really, more accurately empathy - I got back from my friends on this board helped comfort me quite a bit.  I hope you feel the same from this group because as you and I have discussed, this really is a special place with some terrific people who post here.  Your mom has plenty to be proud of when it comes to you and I'm sure you felt the same way about her.  I got to tell my mom that she was my hero before she passed and it gives me solace that I was able to express those feelings about her, which is something you were fortunate it enough to do as well.  I feel badly for the folks that lost a parent suddenly and without warning.  That has to be hard. :(  

 
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Sorry Joe.  My dad passed eight years ago and it still seems like yesterday.  Our parents passing leaves a gap in most of our lives.  Just hang onto all those times and those values that she gave you.  

 
I wrote and deleted a long topic and I may yet write it again...but couldn't seem to word it where it wasn't just about me or sounding like it was a call for sympathy.

The gist of it was to add that while you seem to be handling things well...it may not always feel that way.  Thats ok...seek the help of friends and family.  Talk...open up...don't push them away.  They may seem annoying always asking if you are ok...but you will come to appreciate their concern as well.  I am extremely thankful to my wife who knew I was not handling things as well as I tried to let on (being with someone as long as she and I have been together...of course she knew).  Depression takes many forms and can be from light to extreme of course...but it sucks and keeps you from enjoying things.  Always know its good to talk to people...anyone.  That SVP tweet was great and on point.

 
Sorry to hear, Joe.  My parents are in good health but in the same age bracket.  I've thought about how to prepare for one of them passing but I'm pretty sure it's just not possible.  Glad you were blessed to be able to talk to her near the end.

 
Sorry for your loss.  You seem to be taking it well.  Only advice I can give is to let it all out and cry.  Not cause you want to but because..you need to inside.

 
General Malaise said:
I lost my mom in May and felt similarly to you that I wasn't looking for sympathy in sharing the news of her passing here, but the sympathy - and really, more accurately empathy - I got back from my friends on this board helped comfort me quite a bit.  I hope you feel the same from this group because as you and I have discussed, this really is a special place with some terrific people who post here.  Your mom has plenty to be proud of when it comes to you and I'm sure you felt the same way about her.  I got to tell my mom that she was my hero before she passed and it gives me solace that I was able to express those feelings about her, which is something you were fortunate it enough to do as well.  I feel badly for the folks that lost a parent suddenly and without warning.  That has to be hard. :(  
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Joe's OP and this one are good reminders not to wait until the end to say some of those things to your loved ones.  As others have mentioned, you don't always get that chance at the end.  Several years back my grandpa called me and left a message.  I was busy with a young family, mortgage, job, blah blah blah.  I never got around to calling him back, and he passed a few days later.

 
So sorry Joe.

Lost both my parents to cancer which was horrible ... but it meant so much to me to be able to say goodbye.

So many don't have the opportunity when a loved one dies suddenly ... things they wanted to say or wished you had said to them.

Glad to hear you had that opportunity and took advantage of it.

 
General Malaise said:
I lost my mom in May and felt similarly to you that I wasn't looking for sympathy in sharing the news of her passing here, but the sympathy - and really, more accurately empathy - I got back from my friends on this board helped comfort me quite a bit.  I hope you feel the same from this group because as you and I have discussed, this really is a special place with some terrific people who post here.  Your mom has plenty to be proud of when it comes to you and I'm sure you felt the same way about her.  I got to tell my mom that she was my hero before she passed and it gives me solace that I was able to express those feelings about her, which is something you were fortunate it enough to do as well.  I feel badly for the folks that lost a parent suddenly and without warning.  That has to be hard. :(  
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the downside of losing a parent suddenly is the lack of closure.  For some people that is devastating (hint: if you have unresolved issues with parents, resolve them now if possible).

It is hard, but in some ways watching your parent slowly die is harder.  There's no best or easy way for this to happen.  its just going to happen eventually.

 
It's times like these when I wish I was better with words--as I find it very difficult to find the right things to say.   While we all understand that death is a part and a certainty of life--I think that we all also understand that it's one of the hardest things that any human being has to deal with when it happens to somebody that they love.   I truly send all of my deepest condolences to you and your family. I also wanted to thank you for sharing this news with us.  By creating this community--you basically created a giant family that you are the head of.   I appreciate you treating us like family and sharing the news.   Whether you intended it or not--I think that you will feel lots of genuine love coming your way from this family/community that you have created. 

 
jvdesigns2002 said:
It's times like these when I wish I was better with words--as I find it very difficult to find the right things to say.   While we all understand that death is a part and a certainty of life--I think that we all also understand that it's one of the hardest things that any human being has to deal with when it happens to somebody that they love.   I truly send all of my deepest condolences to you and your family. I also wanted to thank you for sharing this news with us.  By creating this community--you basically created a giant family that you are the head of.   I appreciate you treating us like family and sharing the news.   Whether you intended it or not--I think that you will feel lots of genuine love coming your way from this family/community that you have created. 
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The best sentiment that could be offered, jvd. 

 
So sorry to hear it Joe. May she rest in peace.

Both my parents went suddenly, so I never got the chance to have that conversation with either of them. I'm glad to hear that you did and can hold on to that memory. I'm sure it made the end easier in some way for her.

 
Sincerest condolences.  My mother passed a number of years ago and there are still times when I see something and think "Mom would love this, I should call and...". The re-realization is one part comfort in the memory and two parts sad.  When this happens to you (and I'm sure it will) I hope the comforting part comes through.  

I don't think that will ever stop.  Hopefully it never will.

 
So sorry to hear Joe. As a man of Faith, it's great that you can be comforted knowing where she is now. But don't feel like it is any way wrong to be mourning your loss. I know some struggle with that. But we only need to take our cue from Jesus who wept over Lazarus's death despite knowing he was about to raise him to life. Death is loss and there is no contradiction in celebrating your mom's new Life while mourning the loss of her.

 
My condolences to you and your family Joe. I lost my mom last month and my siblings and I were able to thank her and tell her that we loved her before she passed. Too many people don't get the opportunity to say their good byes and personally I think it has helped me deal with her passing better than I could expect.  I hope you are able to find comfort in the fact you had a chance to say your good byes to your mom.

 
My condolences to you and your family, Joe. Please excuse me talking about myself, but my 97 year old grandmother died recently, and I was the only one of the grandkids that got the opportunity to talk to her one last time. She was more mother than grandmother to me, and to be able to express ourselves and say goodbye to each other was something I will always treasure. I’m glad you got that opportunity, too. If you ever need to talk or commiserate, we are all here for you. 

 
Sorry, Joe.  That's tough to be so sudden.  My mom died 14 years ago (which is a whole other story), but I think your attitude is good that it is not a tragedy.  Sounds like she had a good life  and you had a good relationship and that's really what matters.

 
jvdesigns2002 said:
It's times like these when I wish I was better with words--as I find it very difficult to find the right things to say.   While we all understand that death is a part and a certainty of life--I think that we all also understand that it's one of the hardest things that any human being has to deal with when it happens to somebody that they love.   I truly send all of my deepest condolences to you and your family. I also wanted to thank you for sharing this news with us.  By creating this community--you basically created a giant family that you are the head of.   I appreciate you treating us like family and sharing the news.   Whether you intended it or not--I think that you will feel lots of genuine love coming your way from this family/community that you have created. 
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Thank jv. You nailed it. I was hesitant to post as I didn't want it to feel like a fishing for sympathy thing but the reason I did, is exactly what you said - We're all in this together. Ram Dass has one of my favorite lines:  "We're all just walking each other home at night". I love that. And that's why I posted as I know we have a real community here. As goofy as it is sometimes. Thank you very much to everyone for the words. They are felt and appreciated. Thanks.

 
So sorry to see this Joe, thinking of you and your family. Losing a parent is the toughest thing I’ve been through, make sure to take time and enjoy all the great memories you shared. 

 
So sorry, Joe. I lost my Mom 6 years ago and it came without warning. It was difficult to handle for me because I dealt with a bit of regret and guilt. I was living on the other side of the country and I really should have called more, answered her phone calls more, told her I loved and appreciated her more. My Dad is currently on hospice with stage 4 cancer and I’m not sure if it makes it any easier knowing it’s going to happen. Everyone handles loss and grief in their own way and it’s ok. I only remember the good times and there sure were a lot of them! 

I won’t ramble on anymore, but know that you’re in my thoughts today. 

 
Sorry to hear about your mom Joe!  I'm glad you had a chance to say good-bye to her.  I can't imagine that conversation but hope I get to have it when that times comes myself.

 
Joe Bryant said:
Sorry for sad news but part of the beauty of this forum is it's a community and we can share real stuff. 

My Mom died last night. 

She had been in poor health for a good while. She'd had two heart attacks over the past ten years.

She went to the hospital Friday with chest pains and had a heart attack Saturday at the hospital.

It had been an up and down thing in the hospital for the past few days. She was better then worse then better then died Wednesday night. 

Monday, she was better, she was off the breathing tube and pretty much all there mentally. We talked and laughed and got to have the "You're a good mom - You're a good son" talk. I started it and I'm not sure why I did but it felt natural and right. 

She felt it too I think as she clearly told me goodbye as I was leaving. She said, "I'll see you on the other side". I said, "How about I see you tomorrow". She was mostly right. 

I'm ok here. Don't worry about me. I don't share this looking for sympathy or anything like that. My Mom had a very strong faith and I don't see this as a tragedy at all.

76 years with a family she saw grow up that she loved dearly and loved her the same way is about as good as it gets. It's the natural progression of life.

My world feels a little different today as you guys who have lost a parent can attest, but it's not unnatural. 

Rock on, Mom. Much love.
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Sorry for your loss Joe. Just had a co worker's father go on New Years. It was preventable but like many old people very stubborn and wouldn't go to the hospital or see a dr. We'll be thinking of you

 
Sorry for your loss Joe.   When my MIL passed away, it was really tough for everyone, especially my wife.   It's been 7 years and she still misses her mom a little each day, but now not with sadness but nostalgia.  

Hope you and your family find peace in the days ahead.

 
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