My sisters gifts for my 52nd birthday. (1 Viewer)

[Sweet J]

I got a gift from my brother and SiL this birthday, and I was slightly uncomfortable with it. It's because I get the nieces and nephews (of which there are four) gifts for birthday and Xmas. Please tell me I'm wrong, because I felt weird receiving the gift, but didn't want to refuse it out of politeness.  It was a nice gesture, and I appreciated it, but there was no need.  

I also think these things are family-dependent, and a one-size-fits-all attitude never suffices for advice.   

The way I see it:

Many adults don't give their siblings presents.  Just because.

Once your siblings have kids, you often feel a renewed excitement to give your nieces and nephews presents.  That, in turn, revives your siblings excitement to give YOU gifts. Especially once the kids are old enough to understand gift giving.  Once kids hit 4 or 5, it is a lot of fun to pick out presents for their aunts and uncles.  Gift giving becomes a family thing.  If you really truly don't want "stuff" or your brother is kinda tight financially (4 kids???), then ask for some home-made art or framed pictures of the kids making silly faces.  Or something that is cheap but you'd actually like, maybe a goofy T-shirt or something. 

 

[rockaction]

The way I see it:

Many adults don't give their siblings presents.  Just because.

Once your siblings have kids, you often feel a renewed excitement to give your nieces and nephews presents.  That, in turn, revives your siblings excitement to give YOU gifts. Especially once the kids are old enough to understand gift giving.  Once kids hit 4 or 5, it is a lot of fun to pick out presents for their aunts and uncles.  Gift giving becomes a family thing.  If you really truly don't want "stuff" or your brother is kinda tight financially (4 kids???), then asked for some home-made art or framed pictures of the kids making silly faces.  Or something that is cheap but you'd actually like, maybe a goofy T-shirt or something. 

Yeah, it was weird. I'd gotten him a book for his last birthday, etc., but didn't expect anything in return. It was a book relevant to what he does and his interests. Anyway, about the gift -- I couldn't refuse, and I now know they're a bit tight financially (via my parents). Maybe I'll just tell him that in the future he doesn't have to worry about giving me a gift or that just going out to dinner (gratis, of course) is good enough for me. That's what we did this time, largely because of my parents. There was no need for the gift. I enjoy getting the nieces and nephews presents because they appreciate it. 

Anyway, thanks for the thoughts, Sweet J. I'll make sure to play it better.  

 

[Joe Summer]

My brother gives me Starbucks gift cards for Christmas every year. I hate Starbucks.

 

[snogger]

Where did he say his sister was Sarah Jessica Parker?

 

[msudaisy26]

I am not a man, so I will defer to the majority of you here. This feels like his man can should be suspended. 

 

[rockaction]

I am not a man, so I will defer to the majority of you here. This feels like his man can (card?) should be suspended. 

I don't know about that, but I got something useful out of the thread. I'm just going to tell my brother and SiL they don't need to worry about getting me anything in return for nieces and nephews. So, thread helped me, anyway.  

Anyway, you thank your sister for the gift and move along, IMO.  

 

[shuke]

I'm with you about not wanting something that a dead person used to own

Why?  You realize he was alive when he owned them, right?

 

[shuke]

My brother gives me Starbucks gift cards for Christmas every year. I hate Starbucks.

I'll take them.

 

[mr. furley]

Seriously?  What a ####.

it's more of an annual rite than him forcing everyone to rearrange their schedules for his family on Christmas.. only to have him disappear about 20 minutes in to the day without saying a word.

 

[Foosball God]

I am not a man, so I will defer to the majority of you here. This feels like his man can should be suspended. 

https://www.gifttree.com/images/super/17218b_The-Man-Can.jpg

 

[sbonomo]

my brother in law gives my family candles for christmas every year

candles. to my kids.

he gives my wife a list of things he, his wife and kid want every year. she dutifully spends $1-200 on the kid and buys things for her brother and sister in law. yet he moans we didn't do enough. every. year.

bottom line: people suck

You need to talk to you wife....My goodness. 

 

[AAABatteries]

it's more of an annual rite than him forcing everyone to rearrange their schedules for his family on Christmas.. only to have him disappear about 20 minutes in to the day without saying a word.

Sounds like a peach - you should kick him in the nuts next time you see him and tell him "that's from AAABatteries from the Internet, #######!"

 

[sbonomo]

I'm not sure what's more childish....you whining about birthday gifts or the fact that a 52 year old man is obsessed with car racing.  Self-evaluation needed here.

- what is wrong with car racing? 

 

[mr. furley]

You need to talk to you wife....My goodness. 

that's sound advice. we've talked about it every year for the past 15. she's not changing & neither is he.

 

[sbonomo]

that's sound advice. we've talked about it every year for the past 15. she's not changing & neither is he.

Well, chalk it up as a cheap way to avoid a fight i guess.  It could definitely be worse.  

 

[Warhogs]

What did this neighbor die from? Are you afraid of catching a deadly illness? Are you aware the money in your wallet may have been touched by somebody that his since died?

My family of siblings just don't buy gifts for each other. A happy birthday call or text is enough.

Enough of the piling on though. The OP should enjoy the portion of the gift they liked and give the rest to someone else. This whole thread feels to me like someone digging deep to create a thread just to create one. Can someone really be very distraught at what their sister gave them for a 52nd birthday gift?

 

[Johnny Rock]

You need to talk to you wife....My goodness. 

that's sound advice. we've talked about it every year for the past 15. she's not changing & neither is he.

How have you not schticked this up over the years? Give the BIL a list this year. I’m sure we all can come up with some ideas.

1. $1,500 drone with HD camera
   
2. New 12 gauge Benelli shotgun
   
3. <insert team> Season Tickets (4)
   
4. $1,000 Target Gift Card
   
5.  
   

 

[Frostillicus]

I like books.

 

[TheWalkmen]

It's creepy

 

[jvdesigns2002]

Lol. So weird that people are irked by owning possessions that belonged to somebody that has passed away.  What do you think happens to stuff when people pass away?  Do most think that it vanishes or just goes straight to a landfill?   If somebody were to offer you a game worn Babe Ruth hat--would you turn it down because it's creepy that he wore it and is dead now?  How about a concert worn Michael Jackson outfit?  People go to museums to see belongings of dead people and grown adults here are weirded out about a few books. C'mon man. 

 

[TheFanatic]

my brother in law gives my family candles for christmas every year

candles. to my kids.

he gives my wife a list of things he, his wife and kid want every year. she dutifully spends $1-200 on the kid and buys things for her brother and sister in law. yet he moans we didn't do enough. every. year.

bottom line: people suck

This year, I would round up everything you give to the BiL's fam and everything he gave to yours. I'd stack them on the table in two separate and distinct piles. Then I'd say, "Don't you ever complain about how we don't do enough ever again, Chandler. WTF are my kids going to do with candles, you dolt?"

 

[sbonomo]

How have you not schticked this up over the years? Give the BIL a list this year. I’m sure we all can come up with some ideas.

1. $1,500 drone with HD camera
   
2. New 12 gauge Benelli shotgun
   
3. <insert team> Season Tickets (4)
   
4. $1,000 Target Gift Card
   
5.  
   

. This could be fun

 

[EYLive]

I bet that helmet is haunted.

 

[jhib]

I bet that helmet is haunted.

Ooooooh.

squidrope was probably all cool with all the gifts and totally appreciative of his sister, but then he put the helmet on his head and it started affecting him. 

 

[SHIZNITTTT]

So you are saying you have a sister?   Look at me people! 

 

[squidrope]

I'm not sure what's more childish....you whining about birthday gifts or the fact that a 52 year old man is obsessed with car racing.  Self-evaluation needed here.

LOL  Kind of a hobby.  I assure you that my priorities are much more in order than most on this FBG forum.  Thanks for your concern.

 

[squidrope]

I bet that helmet is haunted.

It is haunted.  my sister just confirmed it,

 

[rockaction]

I like books.

I love them

 

[CurlyNight]

  I'm perplexed, disappointed, and kinda skeeved. 

What say you?

I don't generally exchange gifts with my sister.  This year my birthday fell when I was away at a race.  Race went horribly and I came home to two large boxes of books with a "Happy Birthday" note on the side that also said "sorry about your race, hope that this cheers you up".  Inside the top box was books on Ali, Hefner, and other famous figures from the 70's.  Nothing that would interest me.  The second box was a home run, with books on formula one drivers, teams, and tracks around the world. (I love that crap).

  I donated the first box to my local library and would sort through the second box when I had more time.  While I was away this weekend, my sister called with car problems and wanted my help.  I got back today and while repairing her car I found out that the books came from her neighbors deceased  brother.  OK no big deal.  I have an interest in that topic so...  We had a party this afternoon for my wife, nephew (sisters son) and moi.  All of our birthdays are within a few weeks and one party makes things easier.

   To my surprise I have a wrapped gift from my sister. I open it and it's a replica leather football helmet from the 40's or 50's.  Not at the top of my list of wanted items but I play along and have some fun wearing the helmet.  I eventually find out she got the helmet from the dead neighbors estate. 

   I'm not thrilled by the dead guy gifts.  It creeps me out, and I find my sister to be incredibly cheap.  Maybe I'm all wet, but I can't help but feel slighted by her lack of consideration and general cheapness with these "gifts". 

    I've always been very giving towards her and her family as they lived with us for over 3 months while searching for a home, and I have done many things around their house and with their cars without any type of compensation expected or received. My sister always cries poor, but are doing quite well and are very frugal people.  Am I blowing this out of proportion, or should I be upset?    

I hate cheap people like that who are not poor at all. That said, I'd just let it go. Don't waste time stressing about something you already expect from her. Keep what you like, get rid of the rest.