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Niece graduation high school - Am I obligated to attend? (3 Viewers)

wilked

wilked

Footballguy
My niece is graduating high school Friday.  I was always planning to attend the graduation party, but it never occurred to me that I would go to the ceremony.  Just found out my sister already had a ticket 'reserved' for me.

Details:
Ceremony is Friday night 7:30PM.  They live ~90 mins north on a normal drive, but Friday evening leaving Boston that will be > 2 hrs.  I assume I should leave by 4:30 if I want to be 'safe'.  Think I got stuff planned for Sat so very likely driving back that night, if not first thing Sat AM.

I wouldn't call us close (niece and me), maybe a 5 on a 1-10 scale.  Sister and I somewhat close.  One other sibling and he can't make it, largely due to living 4 hrs away.

Anyway, what's the play here?  Suck it up and get up there?  Respectfully decline, perhaps add another $50 to the graduation gift as penance?  Something else?

Current attendees are her immediate family and my parents (who live in same town).

 
I have nine nieces and one nephew between my and my wife's side. The oldest is 6 years from graduating high school. We're max 2 hours away from the furthest and while close to all of them I'd be shocked if we attended HS graduations. And we're definitely a great aunt and uncle. I'd certainly never expect them at my kid's graduation. 

Think those are for immediate family and grandparents.

 
For whatever it's worth, she is off to college in the fall.  I would be much more inclined to attend her college graduation, even though that would be more like a 3 hr drive

 
But seriously, I think that 2 hours is too long for you to be expected to go to that unless she did that with your kids at your request.  

 
I dread going to my OWN kids graduations, let alone a niece or nephews.  Efffffff that.

Usually tickets are limited, I'm surprised they are inviting so many people.  When my eldest graduated we were only allotted like 4 tickets, and had to request an additional 2 (6 max).

 
Sounds like a situation where you get "tied up at work and can't get away"

Edit to add: assuming you're not married and the wife thinks you should go.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
My dad missed my college graduation (in the same down he and I lived in) because, on his way to the ceremony, he saw a friend struggling to move his couch into his apartment, so he stopped to help him.

You can miss this.  But go to the party!  And yes, add an extra 50 bucks. 

 
Lol. Not a chance.

I like my aunts and uncles but I never would have expected them to attend any graduation. Graduations are beyond boring and as you've noted, high school graduation is expected if you grow up in a decent situation.

People are so weird. 

 
Absolutely not.   Was there an invite which mentioned the ceremony?   When rsvping, I typically say that I'll just be at the party when it comes to things like graduations, baptisms, even weddings.  

 
I thought no, but for fun I asked my wife, who has more siblings and grew up in larger family than I did, she also said no. Party, yes; ceremony, no.

p.s. this is why I enjoy living 1000 miles away from BILs that have kids. Only have to go to big stuff, like the wedding next month...

 
I'd say go. I have 3 nieces and 1 nephew, all within 2 hours, we typically attend most celebrations. We're close with my brother and wife's sister.

 
I live in Phoenix and my wife and I flew to Florida on two separate occasions to see my nieces graduate high school. Suck it up and go. It will mean a lot to them.

 
Osaurus said:
I want to 1 out of 4 (including HS, but I didn't go to that one)
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the one i was actually most ####faced at was Grammar School commencement ?

they were all a blur  :shrug:

as far as peripheral family, like my nieces/nephews?  no. not happening. 

 
wilked said:
 I was always planning to attend the graduation party, but it never occurred to me that I would go to the ceremony.  
Click to expand...
Party yes, ceremony only if you actually want too. That kid could care less if you are at the ceremony.

 
i have a jaded family expectation.....too much selfishness.  ask yourself, if roles were reversed would they make the trip for you?  there is your answer in today's world. 

 
If you do go to this, they'll expect you to attend her destination wedding a few years from now.

Lower the bar now.

 
kutta said:
I live in Phoenix and my wife and I flew to Florida on two separate occasions to see my nieces graduate high school. Suck it up and go. It will mean a lot to them.
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Totally depends on the kid and the family dynamic I guess. My extended family (4 sets of parents and a total of 10 cousins) was always relatively close and lives mostly within an hour of one another. We all get along very well. And as far as I know, nobody ever attended a graduation ceremony that they weren't already going to for their own kids ( 3 of my cousins went to the same HS and graduated together)

Parties? ( Which were usually held a week or 2 after the ceremony) absolutely. But the ceremony itself? I'm guessing 95 percent of kids couldn't care less if an aunt/uncle that they aren't super close with (as in "they practically raised them" or they live in town and see them every week) attends.

Life is busy enough.

 
Ask  yourself what you'd want your sister to do if the roles were reversed.  She reserved you a ticket so she obviously wants you to go.

Go.

 
Would the sister be someone you'd rely on in a time of unforeseen crisis? Let's say a sudden illness, job loss, etc.

You always want to grease the skids with people like that. You never know.

 
McGarnicle said:
Would the sister be someone you'd rely on in a time of unforeseen crisis? Let's say a sudden illness, job loss, etc.

You always want to grease the skids with people like that. You never know.
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Or what if you needed a kidney or liver?  And she was like #### You!  You skipped Mimi's high school graduation when I obviously wanted you to go.  Enjoy your painful death you thoughtless #####.

 
James Daulton said:
Or what if you needed a kidney or liver?  And she was like #### You!  You skipped Mimi's high school graduation when I obviously wanted you to go.  Enjoy your painful death you thoughtless #####.
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I didn't think about that.

Wilked:  SIs, I have bad news.  My kidneys are failing.  I need one of yours.

Sis:  Oh!  That's terrible.  Well, gee, I dunno....how does this work? Let me talk to my husband, and my doctor-

Wilked:  Umm, excuse me, what?  Didn't I attend your daughter's graduation?  And not just the party, but the freaking ceremony?

Sis: :dammit:

 
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