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Office Pranks...anybody got any? (1 Viewer)

Posted this elsewhere, but it belongs here:

This guy who was a little chunky thought he was like a professional bodybuilder, always giving advice on nutrition/exercise/etc... Anyways, he bought this gigantic bottle of protein - One night when most of the people in the office had left, we emptied out about 80% of the powder and filled it up with the most fattening Aunt Jemima buttermilk pancake mix. For the next month he continued to get fatter and fatter and every time he would make a "protein shake", I would have to resist in busting out in laughter.
that's actually a really #### move.
 
Posted this elsewhere, but it belongs here:

This guy who was a little chunky thought he was like a professional bodybuilder, always giving advice on nutrition/exercise/etc... Anyways, he bought this gigantic bottle of protein - One night when most of the people in the office had left, we emptied out about 80% of the powder and filled it up with the most fattening Aunt Jemima buttermilk pancake mix. For the next month he continued to get fatter and fatter and every time he would make a "protein shake", I would have to resist in busting out in laughter.
that's actually a really #### move.
You have some dude who you are in better shape than tell you how fattening your lunch is for the next 12 months and report back...

To this day, he has no idea.

 
Sorry for the delay in posts! Wife and I had a baby on June 20th, and then we got into our quarter close at work, so I've been buried and am only now coming up for air.

So no new pranks lately...I can't remember if I mentioned it or not, but the guy we were pranking took a new role and sits in a different part of the building now. :thumbdown:

But...I did manage to instigate a discussion between him and the other guy in our group into a foot race. Here's how it went down...One day, the one guy in our group was leaving early. the British guy I've been pranking (We call him JM) was over at our area talking with me and he asked him where he was going. The dialogue went something like this.

[JM] : Where are you going so early?

[coworker] : My daughter has soccer practice, and I'm assistant coaching.

[JM]: You don't strike me as being very athletic.

[coworker]: Pot calling the kettle black?

[JM]: I used to be a very good footballer when I was younger. I played on a team with several guys who played for Chelsea.

[Fat Nick] : You guys should race.

[coworker] : That wouldn't be fair.

[JM]: I'm faster than I look.

[Fat Nick] : That's not saying much, but still, you guys should definitely race.

[JM] : OK. I might surprise you.

A few weeks later I put a calendar invite on their calendars for 6:00 this past Monday. Location: parking lot. Purpose: Race. Amazingly, they both show up. We debate on the distance. Coworker wanted it to be around the building. After discussion, we both had serious concerns that JM would have a heart-attack. (only partly joking here...). We settled on an out and back, about 40 yards each way.

So the outcome was as predicted, but I gotta say, for a chain smoking salt addict who admittedly last ran "16 or 17 years ago," he was pretty fast over the first 40 yards. He might have actually had it if they just rand 40, but then the years of tobacco started to take it's toll and he slowed to a fast jog in the last 10, and immediately reached for a cig upon finishing.

I have video on my phone. I'll try and get a link up soon.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Sorry for the delay in posts! Wife and I had a baby on June 20th, and then we got into our quarter close at work, so I've been buried and am only now coming up for air.

So no new pranks lately...I can't remember if I mentioned it or not, but the guy we were pranking took a new role and sits in a different part of the building now. :thumbdown:

But...I did manage to instigate a discussion between him and the other guy in our group into a foot race. Here's how it went down...One day, the one guy in our group was leaving early. the British guy I've been pranking (We call him JM) was over at our area talking with me and he asked him where he was going. The dialogue went something like this.

[JM] : Where are you going so early?

[coworker] : My daughter has soccer practice, and I'm assistant coaching.

[JM]: You don't strike me as being very athletic.

[coworker]: Pot calling the kettle black?

[JM]: I used to be a very good footballer when I was younger. I played on a team with several guys who played for Chelsea.

[Fat Nick] : You guys should race.

[coworker] : That wouldn't be fair.

[JM]: I'm faster than I look.

[Fat Nick] : That's not saying much, but still, you guys should definitely race.

[JM] : OK. I might surprise you.

A few weeks later I put a calendar invite on their calendars for 6:00 this past Monday. Location: parking lot. Purpose: Race. Amazingly, they both show up. We debate on the distance. Coworker wanted it to be around the building. After discussion, we both had serious concerns that JM would have a heart-attack. (only partly joking here...). We settled on an out and back, about 40 yards each way.

So the outcome was as predicted, but I gotta say, for a chain smoking salt addict who admittedly last ran "16 or 17 years ago," he was pretty fast over the first 40 yards. He might have actually had it if they just rand 40, but then the years of tobacco started to take it's toll and he slowed to a fast jog in the last 10, and immediately reached for a cig upon finishing.

I have video on my phone. I'll try and get a link up soon.
Glorious!

 
Link to The Race

I'm manning the camera. Another guy in our group is the the starter. The guy with the Jamaican accent is a guy who works near us who just happened to stumble upon the spectacle...oh, and the ringer you hear going off as the video ends is our boss, calling my cell phone to ask "why we are out in the parking lot running around."

My favorite part by far is the KLOMP KLOMP KLOMP of his huge dress shoes as he gets up to speed.

 
Link to The Race

I'm manning the camera. Another guy in our group is the the starter. The guy with the Jamaican accent is a guy who works near us who just happened to stumble upon the spectacle...oh, and the ringer you hear going off as the video ends is our boss, calling my cell phone to ask "why we are out in the parking lot running around."

My favorite part by far is the KLOMP KLOMP KLOMP of his huge dress shoes as he gets up to speed.
:lmao: And :lmao: at your boss

 
Link to The Race

I'm manning the camera. Another guy in our group is the the starter. The guy with the Jamaican accent is a guy who works near us who just happened to stumble upon the spectacle...oh, and the ringer you hear going off as the video ends is our boss, calling my cell phone to ask "why we are out in the parking lot running around."

My favorite part by far is the KLOMP KLOMP KLOMP of his huge dress shoes as he gets up to speed.
:lmao:

 
Link to The Race

I'm manning the camera. Another guy in our group is the the starter. The guy with the Jamaican accent is a guy who works near us who just happened to stumble upon the spectacle...oh, and the ringer you hear going off as the video ends is our boss, calling my cell phone to ask "why we are out in the parking lot running around."

My favorite part by far is the KLOMP KLOMP KLOMP of his huge dress shoes as he gets up to speed.
:lmao: And :lmao: at your boss
jfk :lmao:

 
Link to The Race

I'm manning the camera. Another guy in our group is the the starter. The guy with the Jamaican accent is a guy who works near us who just happened to stumble upon the spectacle...oh, and the ringer you hear going off as the video ends is our boss, calling my cell phone to ask "why we are out in the parking lot running around."

My favorite part by far is the KLOMP KLOMP KLOMP of his huge dress shoes as he gets up to speed.
This is spectacular.

 
Link to The Race

I'm manning the camera. Another guy in our group is the the starter. The guy with the Jamaican accent is a guy who works near us who just happened to stumble upon the spectacle...oh, and the ringer you hear going off as the video ends is our boss, calling my cell phone to ask "why we are out in the parking lot running around."

My favorite part by far is the KLOMP KLOMP KLOMP of his huge dress shoes as he gets up to speed.
Bravo

 
one prank I've seen work well was to change someones e-mail signature. One guy's e-mail signature was changed to "John Smith, Company Fashion Adviser" (he was actually a quality engineer). He had that for a couple of weeks, no telling how many suppliers he had talked to over that time stretch.

 
"You're used to running from bullies, right?"
Yeah...that quote had me a little...confused. The guy who said that isn't one of my favorite people. He's a little narrow sometimes, and I think this random quote from out of left-field just showed that. I guess he just assumed that since JM was a big soft guy now, he was like that when he was a kid in the UK too. I don't think that's the case. I actually believe that at one point, JM was a fit young "chap." He may have been very athletic for all I know, but he probably embellishes too. That was probably 20 years ago. In those 20 years, he fathered 4 kids, went through a bad divorce, turned to food, salt, and cigs for a crutch and had his youthful metabolism slow down. If anything, I could see him being the bully.

 
one prank I've seen work well was to change someones e-mail signature. One guy's e-mail signature was changed to "John Smith, Company Fashion Adviser" (he was actually a quality engineer). He had that for a couple of weeks, no telling how many suppliers he had talked to over that time stretch.
Wanted to do this to this guy...badly...but never did. He's a chemical engineer by schooling, but then went into finance. His e-mail signature has "BEng, MBA, CIA, ACA" after his name. I think it's an engineering certification, Masters in Business, Certified Internal Auditor, and ACA is like CPA in the UK...I wanted to add VIP or HNIC, but never managed to do it.

 
So since JM moved away from the group, he's not around regularly enough to prank. We just came up with a ploy to mess with one of the women that works near us. She commutes in from the city (reverse commute, NYC to NJ), and she keeps several pair of dress shoes under her desk. They're in a huge pile beside her file cabinet...probably 5 pair. My coworker is going to bring in a pair or three of his wife's old shoes. We're going to add a pair to the pile every week or so...in the back of the pile...and see how long it is until she notices.

Not epic, but enough to keep us entertained.

 
"You're used to running from bullies, right?"
Yeah...that quote had me a little...confused. The guy who said that isn't one of my favorite people. He's a little narrow sometimes, and I think this random quote from out of left-field just showed that. I guess he just assumed that since JM was a big soft guy now, he was like that when he was a kid in the UK too. I don't think that's the case. I actually believe that at one point, JM was a fit young "chap." He may have been very athletic for all I know, but he probably embellishes too. That was probably 20 years ago. In those 20 years, he fathered 4 kids, went through a bad divorce, turned to food, salt, and cigs for a crutch and had his youthful metabolism slow down. If anything, I could see him being the bully.
oh- weird. I figured it was the Jamaican guy just screwing around... not actually one of the co-workers.

yeah- the way JM took off, especially considering his size (ignoring the belly), tells me he was more fit than unfit as a kid. Playing with guys on Cheslea... maybe that's a stretch- but it's not a huge country, so who knows. (granted Chelsea is mostly foreign).

 
one prank I've seen work well was to change someones e-mail signature. One guy's e-mail signature was changed to "John Smith, Company Fashion Adviser" (he was actually a quality engineer). He had that for a couple of weeks, no telling how many suppliers he had talked to over that time stretch.
Wanted to do this to this guy...badly...but never did. He's a chemical engineer by schooling, but then went into finance. His e-mail signature has "BEng, MBA, CIA, ACA" after his name. I think it's an engineering certification, Masters in Business, Certified Internal Auditor, and ACA is like CPA in the UK...I wanted to add VIP or HNIC, but never managed to do it.
add DSBG to it

 
"You're used to running from bullies, right?"
Yeah...that quote had me a little...confused. The guy who said that isn't one of my favorite people. He's a little narrow sometimes, and I think this random quote from out of left-field just showed that. I guess he just assumed that since JM was a big soft guy now, he was like that when he was a kid in the UK too. I don't think that's the case. I actually believe that at one point, JM was a fit young "chap." He may have been very athletic for all I know, but he probably embellishes too. That was probably 20 years ago. In those 20 years, he fathered 4 kids, went through a bad divorce, turned to food, salt, and cigs for a crutch and had his youthful metabolism slow down. If anything, I could see him being the bully.
Weird, since in a way, your pranks are bullying him :mellow:

 
"You're used to running from bullies, right?"
Yeah...that quote had me a little...confused. The guy who said that isn't one of my favorite people. He's a little narrow sometimes, and I think this random quote from out of left-field just showed that. I guess he just assumed that since JM was a big soft guy now, he was like that when he was a kid in the UK too. I don't think that's the case. I actually believe that at one point, JM was a fit young "chap." He may have been very athletic for all I know, but he probably embellishes too. That was probably 20 years ago. In those 20 years, he fathered 4 kids, went through a bad divorce, turned to food, salt, and cigs for a crutch and had his youthful metabolism slow down. If anything, I could see him being the bully.
Weird, since in a way, your pranks are bullying him :mellow:
Jeeze...who invited Debbie Downer?

It's office humor. He voluntarily showed up for this race, and was laughing about it before and after (once he caught his breath).

 
"You're used to running from bullies, right?"
Yeah...that quote had me a little...confused. The guy who said that isn't one of my favorite people. He's a little narrow sometimes, and I think this random quote from out of left-field just showed that. I guess he just assumed that since JM was a big soft guy now, he was like that when he was a kid in the UK too. I don't think that's the case. I actually believe that at one point, JM was a fit young "chap." He may have been very athletic for all I know, but he probably embellishes too. That was probably 20 years ago. In those 20 years, he fathered 4 kids, went through a bad divorce, turned to food, salt, and cigs for a crutch and had his youthful metabolism slow down. If anything, I could see him being the bully.
Weird, since in a way, your pranks are bullying him :mellow:
Jeeze...who invited Debbie Downer?

It's office humor. He voluntarily showed up for this race, and was laughing about it before and after (once he caught his breath).
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy your work...very good stuff. The paragraph on bullying just read a little weird.

 
"You're used to running from bullies, right?"
Yeah...that quote had me a little...confused. The guy who said that isn't one of my favorite people. He's a little narrow sometimes, and I think this random quote from out of left-field just showed that. I guess he just assumed that since JM was a big soft guy now, he was like that when he was a kid in the UK too. I don't think that's the case. I actually believe that at one point, JM was a fit young "chap." He may have been very athletic for all I know, but he probably embellishes too. That was probably 20 years ago. In those 20 years, he fathered 4 kids, went through a bad divorce, turned to food, salt, and cigs for a crutch and had his youthful metabolism slow down. If anything, I could see him being the bully.
Weird, since in a way, your pranks are bullying him :mellow:
Jeeze...who invited Debbie Downer?

It's office humor. He voluntarily showed up for this race, and was laughing about it before and after (once he caught his breath).
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy your work...very good stuff. The paragraph on bullying just read a little weird.
I guess the guy's comment just rubbed me the wrong way. JM didn't even respond to him, and I could tell he didn't appreciate it either. It just sort of painted him in a bad light at the end of an otherwise fun race because the guy was basically insinuating that JM was picked on as a kid...not joked with, but picked on...and that he got fast running from bullies. I just thought it was a dumb jump for someone who only sort of knows him.

 
Years ago, before cell phones had video cameras (or else we would have this captured for posterity), we took a four-drawer, standing filing cabinet that was about 3' wide, 6' high, and gutted the inside. We took each of the drawer parts out leaving only the outside parts attached to the sliding rail parts. Basically, it looked fine from the outside, but was empty inside. I hid inside and we would send people over to "put this in the top drawer" and when they opened it, I would scare the crap out of them. One guy got so freaked out he back-pedaled, lost his footing and fell backwards, narrowly missing his head on the corner of a metal desk. That was when we shut it down.

 
Frozen salmon taped to the bottom of a co workers chair. It thaws out slowly and they wont know where the smells coming from
even better if you use 2 pieces- a partially thawed one in a relatively easy place to find, and a fully frozen one buried really.. he'll only think he found the source with the first piece..

 
So since JM moved away from the group, he's not around regularly enough to prank. We just came up with a ploy to mess with one of the women that works near us. She commutes in from the city (reverse commute, NYC to NJ), and she keeps several pair of dress shoes under her desk. They're in a huge pile beside her file cabinet...probably 5 pair. My coworker is going to bring in a pair or three of his wife's old shoes. We're going to add a pair to the pile every week or so...in the back of the pile...and see how long it is until she notices.

Not epic, but enough to keep us entertained.
Update on this...last week, on a day I was out, my co-conspirator put a pair of his wife's black heels under her desk. She noticed on Monday. I heard her talking to the guy in the cube next to her about how she suddenly found a pair of shoes that wasn't hers under her desk. Then, she went around the ladies near her asking all of them if they were missing shoes. They all weren't (of course). Today, while my co-conspirator is on vacation, I added a pair of tan heels...Our hope is that since shoes were added when each of us was out for a bit, she won't suspect.

Waiting for her reaction. She sat down a bit ago, but hasn't noticed them yet...

 
So since JM moved away from the group, he's not around regularly enough to prank. We just came up with a ploy to mess with one of the women that works near us. She commutes in from the city (reverse commute, NYC to NJ), and she keeps several pair of dress shoes under her desk. They're in a huge pile beside her file cabinet...probably 5 pair. My coworker is going to bring in a pair or three of his wife's old shoes. We're going to add a pair to the pile every week or so...in the back of the pile...and see how long it is until she notices.

Not epic, but enough to keep us entertained.
Update on this...last week, on a day I was out, my co-conspirator put a pair of his wife's black heels under her desk. She noticed on Monday. I heard her talking to the guy in the cube next to her about how she suddenly found a pair of shoes that wasn't hers under her desk. Then, she went around the ladies near her asking all of them if they were missing shoes. They all weren't (of course). Today, while my co-conspirator is on vacation, I added a pair of tan heels...Our hope is that since shoes were added when each of us was out for a bit, she won't suspect.

Waiting for her reaction. She sat down a bit ago, but hasn't noticed them yet...
Bring a mixed (non matching) pair. Maybe substitute one of her shoes for a single odd one.
The next move is that next week we put a pair of men's shoes in the mix...I do like taking one of her shoes and replacing with one odd one. The challenge is that unlike JM, she's much more quiet and reserved. She's far more likely to just take the random shoes and put them in the trash and not say anything. Finding someone who gives big reactions is key...and difficult.

 
So since JM moved away from the group, he's not around regularly enough to prank. We just came up with a ploy to mess with one of the women that works near us. She commutes in from the city (reverse commute, NYC to NJ), and she keeps several pair of dress shoes under her desk. They're in a huge pile beside her file cabinet...probably 5 pair. My coworker is going to bring in a pair or three of his wife's old shoes. We're going to add a pair to the pile every week or so...in the back of the pile...and see how long it is until she notices.

Not epic, but enough to keep us entertained.
Update on this...last week, on a day I was out, my co-conspirator put a pair of his wife's black heels under her desk. She noticed on Monday. I heard her talking to the guy in the cube next to her about how she suddenly found a pair of shoes that wasn't hers under her desk. Then, she went around the ladies near her asking all of them if they were missing shoes. They all weren't (of course). Today, while my co-conspirator is on vacation, I added a pair of tan heels...Our hope is that since shoes were added when each of us was out for a bit, she won't suspect.

Waiting for her reaction. She sat down a bit ago, but hasn't noticed them yet...
Bring a mixed (non matching) pair. Maybe substitute one of her shoes for a single odd one.
The next move is that next week we put a pair of men's shoes in the mix...I do like taking one of her shoes and replacing with one odd one. The challenge is that unlike JM, she's much more quiet and reserved. She's far more likely to just take the random shoes and put them in the trash and not say anything. Finding someone who gives big reactions is key...and difficult.
crumpled up panties?

 
OK...We're nearing the end of our year-end close, which means 1) I'm not buried in work any more and 2) People are generally in a good enough mood to tolerate some pranks.

So I've got 2 in the works. Both have the same mark..the girl who replaced our previous favorite mark (Salt-loving British guy). The new mark is pretty cool. I work with her a good bit, and we've got good rapport, so she will take them well.

Prank #1 is simple - We work for an animal health company. Our default desktop background is just a random cycle of animal images that go by. There's probably 7 or 8 of them. I want to either edit them or add a few new ones. I've considered adding a few like this...Cow with tongue out or ugly sheep. The other option is to slightly edit the existing ones...like add a dinosaur in the background or something. I suck at Photoshop, so I can't do that one unless somebody's good at editing them. Then I just need to slip these into the rotation on her PC, which shouldn't take more than a minute or two. Odds are she won't notice for a while, but it'll get a good laugh when she does.

Prank #2 came to me yesterday actually. Her fiance got her a new lunch bag a few months ago. It's HUGE. She always complains that it's heavy. I asked her yesterday if she lost some food or something in it and asked if it had hidden compartments or something. She said, "Yeah, I don't even know all the pockets." I need to check it out and see if it really does have some hidden spaces. If it does, I want to bring some weights...probably fishing weights...and slowly slip them into these unused hidden pockets to just keep making it heavier and heavier. I've thought about melting down some weights to make them flatter so I could slip them under the liner or something. Not sure how much I can evolve this prank...depends on the layout of the bag, which I'll try and check today.

That's all I've got for now...Pranking has gotten a little slow because I think at this point, most folks know who keeps doing it.

 
Ditka Butkus said:
Simple but effective and funny..Scotch tape the button down under the handset receiver and call his phone repeatedly
Hummm...This is pretty good. My only issue is that our phones are black, and the tape would show up really clearly. I wonder if I could jam something in it to keep it down...Then maybe turn the ringer volume ALL THE WAY up.

 
Fat Nick said:
OK...We're nearing the end of our year-end close, which means 1) I'm not buried in work any more and 2) People are generally in a good enough mood to tolerate some pranks.

So I've got 2 in the works. Both have the same mark..the girl who replaced our previous favorite mark (Salt-loving British guy). The new mark is pretty cool. I work with her a good bit, and we've got good rapport, so she will take them well.

Prank #1 is simple - We work for an animal health company. Our default desktop background is just a random cycle of animal images that go by. There's probably 7 or 8 of them. I want to either edit them or add a few new ones. I've considered adding a few like this...Cow with tongue out or ugly sheep. The other option is to slightly edit the existing ones...like add a dinosaur in the background or something. I suck at Photoshop, so I can't do that one unless somebody's good at editing them. Then I just need to slip these into the rotation on her PC, which shouldn't take more than a minute or two. Odds are she won't notice for a while, but it'll get a good laugh when she does.

Prank #2 came to me yesterday actually. Her fiance got her a new lunch bag a few months ago. It's HUGE. She always complains that it's heavy. I asked her yesterday if she lost some food or something in it and asked if it had hidden compartments or something. She said, "Yeah, I don't even know all the pockets." I need to check it out and see if it really does have some hidden spaces. If it does, I want to bring some weights...probably fishing weights...and slowly slip them into these unused hidden pockets to just keep making it heavier and heavier. I've thought about melting down some weights to make them flatter so I could slip them under the liner or something. Not sure how much I can evolve this prank...depends on the layout of the bag, which I'll try and check today.

That's all I've got for now...Pranking has gotten a little slow because I think at this point, most folks know who keeps doing it.
Just seeing this thread bumped makes me :clap:

 
Ditka Butkus said:
Simple but effective and funny..Scotch tape the button down under the handset receiver and call his phone repeatedly
Hummm...This is pretty good. My only issue is that our phones are black, and the tape would show up really clearly. I wonder if I could jam something in it to keep it down...Then maybe turn the ringer volume ALL THE WAY up.
Electrical tape? Or wedge rolled electric tape into the gap.

 
Something that might work on an office phone is a prank I pulled way back when I worked a retail job.

It was Christmas time and we had one of those plastic santa's that had a sensor and waved at you and played a short jingle if you walked in front of it. We put it up on the counter and it would go off when customers walked by. It started to annoy us greatly, as you can imagine having to listen to it 8 hours a day.

I happened to have one of those keychain fart sound makers. I opened up both of them and crossed the wires from the fart keychain to the speaker of the santa, not expecting much, but it worked! From then on, whenever someone walked in front of the santa he would wave and fart. It was amazing but our boss was not too happy.

 
Something that might work on an office phone is a prank I pulled way back when I worked a retail job.

It was Christmas time and we had one of those plastic santa's that had a sensor and waved at you and played a short jingle if you walked in front of it. We put it up on the counter and it would go off when customers walked by. It started to annoy us greatly, as you can imagine having to listen to it 8 hours a day.

I happened to have one of those keychain fart sound makers. I opened up both of them and crossed the wires from the fart keychain to the speaker of the santa, not expecting much, but it worked! From then on, whenever someone walked in front of the santa he would wave and fart. It was amazing but our boss was not too happy.
:wub: farts

genius. :lol:

 
I have a fart one I did years ago. Changed someone's incoming email notification sound on their computer to a fart.wav and jacked up his volume. He went into his office right after and was leaving a voicemail for his boss when he happened to get his first email. He stopped mid sentence, then finished his voicemail and came out of there pretty enraged. About 15 people were gathered around cracking up.

 

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