So this is a crazy, frustrating, wonderful game we play. To start this off, you need to know that my best score ever was an even par 72. I shot 73 (or one over) probably a dozen or so times. Oddly, the 72 came early on when I had just started playing and I just had a miraculous day on an easier course where I made some insanely luck shots including a hole in one. Shot 41-31 with a bogey on 18 but the other eight holes include something nuts like two eagles and three birdies. Anyway, haven't shot it since.
Due to the season winding down and my wife having a girls' weekend, I did play golf from like 12 days. This is the longest stretch I've gone without touching a club in months. That said, I got in a rare mid-week round because my wife wanted to play golf with me for her birthday. She doesn't make the request though until this past weekend. Nonetheless, I did everything to free up the morning to play with her. However, I had a big court hearing later in the afternoon and a conference call at 11:00 I couldn't move. I prep her that I'll need to take the call and skip holes if needed to do so. She's cool with it and just happy we could make it work.
Now, those of you who know my golf game know that it's fueled by whisky and swinging hard. So, I went into the round with absolutely zero expectations as I had a call and had to obviously stay completely sober for court afterwards. Also, I basically worked two full days straight from wake up to late at night to free up the time so I'm going into the round having not exercised for a couple of days meaning my back is quite stiff. Further, our course just punched and sanded the greens making it tough to putt so basically I had to play by the temporary local rule that for my handicap any ball on the green is an automatic two putt but you can take the first putt to try to make it. Finally, to make matter worse and further decrease expectations, the course initially announced a 30-minute frost delay (which would have set our 9:30 time to 10:00) but the fast-playing weekday crowd teed off quickly and we were on the box at 9:37. So, I only had about a five minute warmup and couldn't even put a clubface on a ball before starting.
Initial tee shot is about what I expected and, given the stiff back and no warmup, I don't get my hands through and shove my tee shot to the right. Now, while I love my home course, one of the few gripes I have about it is that our first hole tee shot is very narrow with easily reachable ob on both sides. I just think it's a bad design as I'm a proponent of making the first tee ball a relatively easier shot to gets guys off the first box - I've watched scratch players pump three balls ob off the first box in the first round of the club championship immediately eliminating them from contention before they could even take a breath. Anyway, I assume my ball is going to hit the hill and/or cart path on the right side of the hole and roll ob. However, I get a very lucky bounce where, seemingly defying the laws of physics, the ball hits presumably right where the right side of the cart path meets the grass and bounces left then straightens out down the path. I wound up being still partially blocked from the green by a tree but I have a reasonable lie, my distance off the tee winds up fine, and I'm able to hoist one up and over to about 20 yards short. I chip up to like 8 feet and miss the putt because the green is like a klinko board. So, I make a ho hum bogey, assume the round won't amount to much of anything, and legitimately stop caring at the point. I'm more focused and encouraging and coaching my wife and answering work emails than anything.
On hole two, one of my biggest pet peeves immediately comes into play - some woman is walking her dog on the fairway (since our course, while private, weaves mostly through homes we get a ton of people who probably aren't even members walking their dogs or going for walks on our course even during play without understanding that they're technically trespassing). I'm immediately annoyed, gauge she's about 200 out , and realize I can easily fly one over her without putting her at risk but giving her a good scare. Without thinking, I do exactly that and pump one down the middle. Wind up making an easy par.
Hole three, a par 3, I hit it to six feet and even with the punched greens I make the putt. Okay, cool, not getting shut out on birdies for the day. Hole three I chip in for another birdie. Holes three through eight I hit every fairway and green and had makeable birdie putts on almost all holes. Didn't make one though but, on hole seven, I realize I'm having a pretty good day. My wife's playing well too, the pace of play is wonderful, and the weather is frankly perfect. At this point, while I'm still responding to work emails, I'm about as carefree as it gets and I'm still not really paying attention to the round even though I'm playing a nice front. However, on hole nine after I hit my drive, when I'm one under and playing a reachable par 5, I get the work call.
Work call lasts thirty minutes and I have to skip the rest of hole 9 and holes 10 and 11 (two relatively challenging par 4s). I start playing again on hole 12 and bogey a tougher par 3. On hole 13 I hit the fairway but in the wrong spot where I'm blocked by trees. Second shot clips the top of a tree and I hit a poor third shot and make a bad double. Nonetheless, at that point, I shrug my shoulders at the good front and am somewhat relieved I'm not in some weird position of going low in a meaningless round and wondering "what if" on the missed holes. Hole 14 though is an easy par five and I reach it in two for a birdie. Can a putt on hole 15 for a good par. Then on hole 16, with the fairway looking a mile wide and the cup the size of a manhole, I crush a drive maybe 25 yards shot of the green and I hole out for eagle. On 17, a nearly 600 yard par five that is nearly unreachable from the tips, I crush my drive again and hit a 297 yard three wood on the green to about ten feet. Putt canned. Second eagle in a row and I'm now under par for the day. Our hole 18 green is under construction so by rule I take a net par which is a bogey for me because of the hole handicap. This leaves me at gross -1 for the round.
Now, we had planned to have lunch and I only had about an hour before I had to prep for court. My wife, who also played really well, is boasting to the pro about my eagles and chip ins. I comment that I have never shot under par but I had to skip three holes. Pro comments that I could go back out. I laugh it off and we sit down for lunch. As I'm sitting there some buddies come through on the turn (the path goes right by the restaurant patio at the turn), I tell them what happened, and they all say go back out. I text some golf buddies, explain it, and they all say go back out with warnings that I need to play the 9 hole tee ball where it was and not to warm up. At this point our food arrives but I'm thinking about it and realize it's doable. However, even with the pro's help, there wasn't an opening for me to really get back out on 9 without disrupting groups on the course. I also feel my back stiffening and, timing-wise, I conclude I really just needed to get to work. So, alas, I left the course -1 through 15 holes played with an unrecorded reachable par 5 and a personal best well within reach on a day where I didn't have a care in the world about golf.
Biggest "what if" moment in golf for me to date. Obviously round doesn't count, but the moral of the story seems to be that we play so much better when our brain isn't getting in the way. And, apparently, that doesn't mean one has to get there with whisky haha.
that was before the rain? My pampered *** would have already bailed by that point. 
