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***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (2 Viewers)

zed2283 said:
Just got back.  Everything went really well.  I met her in the parking lot and we gave each other a nice warm hug.  Started walking through the parking lot and she immediately reached for my hand and held it all the way to the front door.  She was very touchy feely again all throughout dinner.  We were at a Japanese hibachi place at a large table of people, so we were sitting next to each other, and she constantly had her arm on my shoulder or rubbing my back, her foot rubbing my leg, holding my hand in her lap, etc.  It was very affectionate and nice.

I can't remember how but somehow the Wednesday night thing came up and I made a joke about being her mid-week date.  She said it was because she couldn't wait to see me.  I rolled my eyes, but it was nice.  Her ditching me on Saturday also briefly surfaced and she just said "I know, I'm terrible" or something and I just blew it off and kept going.  We flirted a bit and she kept talking about the things she was going to have to work on with me, and I told her the list seemed to keep getting longer and longer.  She used up all her white sauce and started using mine, to which I said "would you like my white sauce?"  It totally went over her head but I inwardly chuckled.

We were the last ones at the table and couldn't decide what to do next.  I totally wanted to invite her to my place but I resisted the temptation.  So we just went and sat in her car and made out again for 10-15 minutes.  Very nice.  Again I wanted to suggest we go back to my place, but I didn't.  I was being gentlemanly about things but once I started my kissing toward her ample cleavage she stopped me and said she should be heading home.  I said cool, we kissed a few more times, and each left for home.  She texted me a couple of times from the road and again when she got home.
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More details on the level of hugs please.

 
Well played Zed and glad you had fun.  Sounds like you are starting to gain some control.  You might even get a weekend date out to this one. :D

 
With a nod to offdee, I forget to mention that I put together a nice ensemble for our first date last Friday that she seemed quite impressed with.  She asked me over and over where I bought the red v-neck ribbed t-shirt I was wearing, and at the end of the night she told me that she also loved my jeans because they made my ### look good.  I decided to keep the mystery going and wouldn't reveal where I did my shopping, but I thought I should share with the group.

red v-neck t-shirt $7 after 30% discount at Kohls

jeans $29 sale at Kohls

:style:

 
zed2283 said:
With a nod to offdee, I forget to mention that I put together a nice ensemble for our first date last Friday that she seemed quite impressed with.  She asked me over and over where I bought the red v-neck ribbed t-shirt I was wearing, and at the end of the night she told me that she also loved my jeans because they made my ### look good.  I decided to keep the mystery going and wouldn't reveal where I did my shopping, but I thought I should share with the group.

red v-neck t-shirt $7 after 30% discount at Kohls

jeans $29 sale at Kohls

:style:
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If you've got a decent physique, well fitted t's are a fantastic fashion compliment. 

 
Buttonhook said:
Well played Zed and glad you had fun.  Sounds like you are starting to gain some control.  You might even get a weekend date out to this one. :D
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I know she is going to a Halloween party on Saturday.  She asked me last night if I had any plans this weekend and I said I was invited to a party and wasn't sure yet what I was going to do.  I had hoped that she was leading into inviting me to her party, but she didn't.

So is asking her out for Friday too soon?  What's the play here?

 
zed2283 said:
I know she is going to a Halloween party on Saturday.  She asked me last night if I had any plans this weekend and I said I was invited to a party and wasn't sure yet what I was going to do.  I had hoped that she was leading into inviting me to her party, but she didn't.

So is asking her out for Friday too soon?  What's the play here?
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I hate to say this because I'm reall pulling for you here, but I'm getting a "backup plan" vibe. Again, I hope I'm wrong and I am a married 43 year-old, but there was a time when I was pretty sharp at the game and this feels off. 

ETA- I think the move is a lot of distance and apathy. Hot 25 year old girls aren't doing midweek make out sessions with a guy that makes them saucy - they're doing weekend ****fests. 

 
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maxwelledison said:
I hate to say this because I'm reall pulling for you here, but I'm getting a "backup plan" vibe. Again, I hope I'm wrong and I am a married 43 year-old, but there was a time when I was pretty sharp at the game and this feels off. 

ETA- I think the move is a lot of distance and apathy. Hot 25 year old girls aren't doing midweek make out sessions with a guy that makes them saucy - they're doing weekend ****fests. 
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From a girl's perspective, it is not that cut and dry.....you all know the ratio of guys to girls on the sites, so I wouldn't assume he is the back-up plan....my guess is she has multiple guys talking to her and she's getting to know them before she decides anything. 

Plus, Halloween parties are usually with your friends unless you have been dating someone for a while. I wouldn't assume she is going to be with another guy. 

Just giving her the benefit of the doubt for now....

 
FFChick32 said:
From a girl's perspective, it is not that cut and dry.....you all know the ratio of guys to girls on the sites, so I wouldn't assume he is the back-up plan....my guess is she has multiple guys talking to her and she's getting to know them before she decides anything. 

Plus, Halloween parties are usually with your friends unless you have been dating someone for a while. I wouldn't assume she is going to be with another guy. 

Just giving her the benefit of the doubt for now....
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This is always a chicks perspective on things, but it is for the most part always wrong. I'm going with, you are the back up plan, and she is going to be with another guy or at least interested in a "friend" who will be at this Halloween party, which is why you didnt get the invite. Most girls dont like to go to things alone, but they are quick to turn their back on their girlfriends if a guy is involved. 

 
FFChick32 said:
my guess is she has multiple guys talking to her and she's getting to know them before she decides anything. 
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This line is spot on.  She's in the "interview stage", and our hero is one of the candidates.   The way he plays this period from now through the end of the weekend is crucial to whether or not he makes the next round.    And what that means is today to just let it linger and wait for her to reach out to him....based on when and what she says in this next text will guide how he should proceed.   Patience is key for him today.

 
zed2283 said:
We were the last ones at the table and couldn't decide what to do next.  I totally wanted to invite her to my place but I resisted the temptation.  So we just went and sat in her car and made out again for 10-15 minutes.  Very nice.  Again I wanted to suggest we go back to my place, but I didn't.  I was being gentlemanly about things but once I started my kissing toward her ample cleavage she stopped me and said she should be heading home.  I said cool, we kissed a few more times, and each left for home.  She texted me a couple of times from the road and again when she got home.
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If she would have met you at your place before dinner like she suggested, she would have had to come back to your place afterwards, no?  

 
coyote5 said:
If she would have met you at your place before dinner like she suggested, she would have had to come back to your place afterwards, no?  
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Sorry, I was actually :fishing:  when I said she suggested coming to my place first.  No way I would have passed that up.

 
zed2283 said:
I know she is going to a Halloween party on Saturday.  She asked me last night if I had any plans this weekend and I said I was invited to a party and wasn't sure yet what I was going to do.  I had hoped that she was leading into inviting me to her party, but she didn't.

So is asking her out for Friday too soon?  What's the play here?
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I'd hold off on the Friday thing.  Go to your party without her.  Remember you have to be the guy with plenty of options so a man with no solid plans Halloween weekend doesn't sound very enticing.  

I'm always a fan of meeting girls up later at whatever they're doing instead of an official date.   Makes my life easier.  Generally they're already drunk and ready to offer you that p (would be the case on Halloween).  Could send her a text later on Fri/Sat asking her how the party is, etc.  Most will invite you over if they're keen.  Although I'm not sure this is the best move in your situation. 

Another option is to go out on the real Halloween night (Monday).  I actually enjoy weekday Halloweens b/c it keeps the amateurs at bay. Good luck!

 
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I was being gentlemanly about things but once I started my kissing toward her ample cleavage she stopped me and said she should be heading home.  I said cool, we kissed a few more times, and each left for home.
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Sounds to me like she's playing games.  A little makeout with no boob touching is a cheap price to pay for a free meal. 

 
Walking Boot said:
Yep. Wimmins complain a lot about the quality of messages they get. But, they're the worst at keeping a conversation going. It's like they have no idea they should be asking questions too to keep things moving.
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If they're interested, they'll be asking questions. Generally speaking 

 
zed2283 said:
I know she is going to a Halloween party on Saturday.  She asked me last night if I had any plans this weekend and I said I was invited to a party and wasn't sure yet what I was going to do.  I had hoped that she was leading into inviting me to her party, but she didn't.

So is asking her out for Friday too soon?  What's the play here?
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Definitely do not ask her out Friday night.  She hasn't earned that much attention yet.  If you do decide to text her, I'd go so far as to tell her you're going to a Halloween party "with someone else," but maybe you could meet up after the party (good idea from Major).

 
Buttonhook said:
Definitely do not ask her out Friday night.  She hasn't earned that much attention yet.  If you do decide to text her, I'd go so far as to tell her you're going to a Halloween party "with someone else," but maybe you could meet up after the party (good idea from Major).
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Don't do the "someone else" bit. You're both on dating sites so it should just be assumed you're dating other people at this stage...you want to make her feel that you have other options but you don't want to rub her nose in it.  There's not a whole lot of good that can come from blatantly saying it...just makes you look like an insensitive jerk.  Just portray in all aspects of communication that it's no sweat off your back if you're with her or not because you will be having fun regardless...it's her loss if she doesn't want to be in that world with you. 

 
offdee said:
Don't do the "someone else" bit. You're both on dating sites so it should just be assumed you're dating other people at this stage...you want to make her feel that you have other options but you don't want to rub her nose in it.  There's not a whole lot of good that can come from blatantly saying it...just makes you look like an insensitive jerk.  Just portray in all aspects of communication that it's no sweat off your back if you're with her or not because you will be having fun regardless...it's her loss if she doesn't want to be in that world with you. 
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IMO this is the guy you should be taking advice from....?

 
Something else I forgot to mention.  I've been chatting with a 31-year old Brazilian woman who lives about 35-40 min from my city.  She texted me on Sunday afternoon saying that she and her 3-year old daughter had come to town to go shopping and that I should meet them out at a park.  I told her I'd like to, but I hadn't showered and I was watching football.  She kept trying to convince me to come meet her and I finally just said no, I can't, maybe we can get together next time.  So then she told me to give her my address and she would stop by.  So I did and then jumped in the shower.  Well 20 minutes later, there she was in my driveway.  I invited them in and talked to her while playing around with her daughter for about an hour.  Cute lady and niiiiiice and slim, just how I like them.

Strange situation, obviously, but foreigners don't always act like or see things the way we do.  :shrug:

 
zed2283 said:
Something else I forgot to mention.  I've been chatting with a 31-year old Brazilian woman who lives about 35-40 min from my city.  She texted me on Sunday afternoon saying that she and her 3-year old daughter had come to town to go shopping and that I should meet them out at a park.  I told her I'd like to, but I hadn't showered and I was watching football.  She kept trying to convince me to come meet her and I finally just said no, I can't, maybe we can get together next time.  So then she told me to give her my address and she would stop by.  So I did and then jumped in the shower.  Well 20 minutes later, there she was in my driveway.  I invited them in and talked to her while playing around with her daughter for about an hour.  Cute lady and niiiiiice and slim, just how I like them.

Strange situation, obviously, but foreigners don't always act like or see things the way we do.  :shrug:
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I don't care where you're from, someone anxiously bringing their 3 year old daughter into a strangers house is ####### stupid.  

 
zed2283 said:
Something else I forgot to mention.  I've been chatting with a 31-year old Brazilian woman who lives about 35-40 min from my city.  She texted me on Sunday afternoon saying that she and her 3-year old daughter had come to town to go shopping and that I should meet them out at a park.  I told her I'd like to, but I hadn't showered and I was watching football.  She kept trying to convince me to come meet her and I finally just said no, I can't, maybe we can get together next time.  So then she told me to give her my address and she would stop by.  So I did and then jumped in the shower.  Well 20 minutes later, there she was in my driveway.  I invited them in and talked to her while playing around with her daughter for about an hour.  Cute lady and niiiiiice and slim, just how I like them.

Strange situation, obviously, but foreigners don't always act like or see things the way we do.  :shrug:
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Yeah, this is weird.  Lots of bad judgement on her part....from not being able to take societal hints, to imposing on your personal space/time, to exposing her child to a dude she doesn't even know.

Stay away, future headaches are certain and not worth your time.

 
offdee said:
Yeah, this is weird.  Lots of bad judgement on her part....from not being able to take societal hints, to imposing on your personal space/time, to exposing her child to a dude she doesn't even know.

Stay away, future headaches are certain and not worth your time.
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Yeah, I agree with all of this.

 
zed2283 said:
Something else I forgot to mention.  I've been chatting with a 31-year old Brazilian woman who lives about 35-40 min from my city.  She texted me on Sunday afternoon saying that she and her 3-year old daughter had come to town to go shopping and that I should meet them out at a park.  I told her I'd like to, but I hadn't showered and I was watching football.  She kept trying to convince me to come meet her and I finally just said no, I can't, maybe we can get together next time.  So then she told me to give her my address and she would stop by.  So I did and then jumped in the shower.  Well 20 minutes later, there she was in my driveway.  I invited them in and talked to her while playing around with her daughter for about an hour.  Cute lady and niiiiiice and slim, just how I like them.

Strange situation, obviously, but foreigners don't always act like or see things the way we do.  :shrug:
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Yea....this whole thing seems weird.....that's why I had trouble with dating websites.... I have two daughters and am very protective of them. I wouldn't want to involve them at all unless I thought it had long-term potential, and can't imagine bringing them to a guy's house I didn't even know!!

She needs to be careful!

 
zed2283 said:
Something else I forgot to mention.  I've been chatting with a 31-year old Brazilian woman who lives about 35-40 min from my city.  She texted me on Sunday afternoon saying that she and her 3-year old daughter had come to town to go shopping and that I should meet them out at a park.  I told her I'd like to, but I hadn't showered and I was watching football.  She kept trying to convince me to come meet her and I finally just said no, I can't, maybe we can get together next time.  So then she told me to give her my address and she would stop by.  So I did and then jumped in the shower.  Well 20 minutes later, there she was in my driveway.  I invited them in and talked to her while playing around with her daughter for about an hour.  Cute lady and niiiiiice and slim, just how I like them.

Strange situation, obviously, but foreigners don't always act like or see things the way we do.  :shrug:
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I love Brazilian girls but have definitely ran into my share of crazy locally and abroad.  Some want to lock down a gringo for the wrong reasons (green card, security, etc) and will go to drastic measures in desperation.  However, I can almost guarantee you she's great in bed and will worship the ground you walk on if you treat her right.  Proceed with caution my guy.  

 
Major said:
I love Brazilian girls but have definitely ran into my share of crazy locally and abroad.  Some want to lock down a gringo for the wrong reasons (green card, security, etc) and will go to drastic measures in desperation.  However, I can almost guarantee you she's great in bed and will worship the ground you walk on if you treat her right.  Proceed with caution my guy.  
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Yeah, Brazilian women have a wonderful reputation for treating their men like kings.  She already has a green card, so that's a plus.

 
zed2283 said:
I got the impression that there is no readily available babysitter option and that she is always with the daughter.  So pretty much a non-starter.
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One more reason to not waste your time.  Nothing wrong with kids, but you really want to date a girl that you literally can never be alone with other than after her kid goes to bed...and then that is ALWAYS at her house.   Cease contact and put your energy in something that has a positive future outlook.

 
offdee said:
One more reason to not waste your time.  Nothing wrong with kids, but you really want to date a girl that you literally can never be alone with other than after her kid goes to bed...and then that is ALWAYS at her house.   Cease contact and put your energy in something that has a positive future outlook.
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I was considering doing a spin-off thread, but this comment pretty much answers my question. 

Hopefully, there are some guys out there who might realize this is not the scenario some of us chose for ourselves. Life does not always go as planned, and some of us may be worth the challenges it presents.

 
FFChick32 said:
I was considering doing a spin-off thread, but this comment pretty much answers my question. 

Hopefully, there are some guys out there who might realize this is not the scenario some of us chose for ourselves. Life does not always go as planned, and some of us may be worth the challenges it presents.
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Didn't mean for that to come off so harsh. I was referring specifically to his comment that she basically refuses to ever find a babysitter or leave her child with anybody. 

My gf of 3 years has 3 kids! Yes you read that right. Of course that presents challenges, but the thing is she goes out of her way to make time just for us to connect. Her kids are great and I love them like my own...but she also makes a concerted point to make me and our alone time priority as much as possible.  Has to be a healthy balance for it to work IMO. 

Also doesn't hurt that she's smokin' hot and great in bed. 

 
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offdee said:
Didn't mean for that to come off so harsh. I was referring specifically to his comment that she basically refuses to ever find a babysitter or leave her child with anybody. 

My gf of 3 years has 3 kids! Yes you read that right. Of course that presents challenges, but the thing is she goes out of her way to make time just for us to connect. Her kids are great and I love them like my own...but she also makes a concerted point to make me and our alone time priority as much as possible.  Has to be a healthy balance for it to work IMO. 

Also doesn't hurt that she's smokin' hot and great in bed. 
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I get that this is a mostly guys thread, and I know you didn't mean to sound harsh, but this has been a huge challenge for me. Tons of interested guys, but once the full reality of my situation is understood, they know they have "easier" options.

I get that it's a huge challenge. It is a huge challenge on my end as well, and I commend you for giving your gf the opportunity, and accepting her situation. ?

 
FFChick32 said:
I get that this is a mostly guys thread, and I know you didn't mean to sound harsh, but this has been a huge challenge for me. Tons of interested guys, but once the full reality of my situation is understood, they know they have "easier" options.

I get that it's a huge challenge. It is a huge challenge on my end as well, and I commend you for giving your gf the opportunity, and accepting her situation. ?
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You just need to move next to a single dad. Then it becomes easy and you can get all the hugs you want. :hug:

 
EYLive said:
You just need to move next to a single dad. Then it becomes easy and you can get all the hugs you want. :hug:
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Aww thanks....most guys I have dated have had kids, but it's much different when you are the only parent. There are no "weekends off", or "Dad days". Presents a big challenge.

I'm not giving up, just had to take a break from Match. That site is like having another full time job lol

 
Well, we texted briefly after she got home last night, I told her goodnight, and haven't heard from her since...  :unsure:

On advice from offdee, I texted her about 6:45pm saying what a busy day I had and hoped that she had a good day.  No reply.

Guess maybe she was too busy today thinking about her Thursday night date.

 
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zed2283 said:
Well, we texted briefly after she got home last night, I told her goodnight, and haven't heard from her since...  :unsure:

On advice from offdee, I texted her about 6:45pm saying what a busy day I had and hoped that she had a good day.  No reply.

Guess maybe she was too busy today thinking about her Thursday night date.
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I'm all for being into a woman. Smitten is exciting and fun but it has to be reciprocated. She's just getting to know you still and obviously keeping her options open for the moment. Don't overthink things and just play it cool. Get a hobby or something maybe....

 
saintfool said:
I'm all for being into a woman. Smitten is exciting and fun but it has to be reciprocated. She's just getting to know you still and obviously keeping her options open for the moment. Don't overthink things and just play it cool. Get a hobby or something maybe....
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Thank God it's football season...

 
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