This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
I do draw the line at the pulling out of chairs. That is definitely awkward. I get your point on the potential awkwardness of the car door, but the girls I'm dating (31-39) seem to appreciate it with one telling me it's a pretty big deal for her and the friends she talks to. The girl I'm seeing tonight is Mexican and from what I understand, manners and courtesy are very important in their culture.
One of the main reasons I prefer Latinas (even more so in other countries, of course).
I agree. If you can't open a door for your date without it looking/feeling forced, then you're not as smooth as you think you are. I just comes naturally to a gentleman.
You gotta step up your courtesy game. Opening doors is so 5 years ago. Throwing your coat down when there's a puddle is where it's at.
And it's hard to open the door when your arms are around each other mid-hug. You kind of have to pry it open with your elbow and use your butt to open it the rest of the way. Those hour long hug sessions are murder on locomotion.
I'm neither a gentleman nor a alpha-jackhammer. I believe in equality and if a woman doesn't get that then it's not going to work between us anyway.
Gayathri Rathnam
Written Oct 31, 2015
A man/gentleman/guy/boy should open a door for a fellow passenger or anyone travelling in any vehicle only during the following occasions
1)he/she has something very heavy (in terms of weight) on his/her lap or between their legs, hence they are in need of someone's help to move that thing out/away, so that they can get down from the vehicle comfortably
2)he/she is a someone who has been injured/have some kind of bandage in their hands or legs, so they would not be able to open the door on their own.
3)he/she is differently abled, and someone needs to hold the door for them for sometime, so that they can first place their crutch on the floor firmly and then get down from the vehicle
4)the person is unconscious and has to be taken in a wheelchair or stretcher into the emergency room for immediate treatment
5)they are holding a just born or baby in their hands and needs some one to hold the door so that they can get down safely without hurting the little one.
6)he/she is a senior citizen, who just wants someone at the door for moral support more than a physical support for them to get down from a vehicle
Apart from any of the above situations, I will not ask any man/gentleman/guy/boy to open the door for another person
P.S.: This is my opinion and strictly mine alone. Irrelevant comments will no be answered.
![[icon]](/data/avatars/m/5/5167.jpg?1660313464){kind=avatar}
It's not about treating them as delicate weaklings that I am marginalizing with my condescending held door.cstu said:
Then you know very little about Indian-Americans and the complicated culture clash many feel, based on that link you provided.
My knowledge is based on one Indian woman (U.S. born Hindu) I dated/lived with for 7 years and the other (Tanzanian born Muslim) I've been married to for 10. Maybe the ones I've dated aren't from typical Indian families.
jon_mx said:
Agree. It's not always a game. If you value her friendship, and if you like her enough you should, then opening the door is just a nice jesture IF that's the kind of guy you are. If not, then yes it comes across as forced. I could tell the difference and I'm sure most women can. Don't do anything to score points because once you do something that's not "you", you'll have a tough time keeping up for the length of the relationship. You want female friends. Just like we want male friends. Pick them wisely of course but don't analyse everything you do with a former dating partner who now is a friend. Let it flow. I've seen flip flop from dating to friends to dating again so key is be yourself whether as a friend or as a date.
Haha! Nathan will never live this down..James Daulton said:
There are youngsters in here (or people that are just immature) that play games and would have you believe men should behave the opposite way. Too much of that childish pick up artist crap.
Men don't need or want female friends. Those that do, either want to have sex with them or are gay.
Plenty of men also have female friends along with their spouse/so. Nothing wrong with that. Not everything is about dating and sex all the time.
I like having female friends. Not only do they offer a different perspective, but they're much better at keeping in contact. The girl in question is one of the smartest people I've ever met and dare I say a rational thinker, even in male terms.
Yeah, and they've fantasized about having have sex with them (whether they actually act on that is neither here nor there). Men aren't wired like women...most men would rather just be in silence and alone than expound energy on keeping up a friendship with a woman. Unless they are attracted to them, then they have motivation to make the effort. Men are visual/sexual creatures, just the reality.
I actually thing it strange if a guy has no female friends. You wonder what's wrong with him. It's not always about dating and sex..
Answer honestly...have you ever thought about what it would be like to have sex with her? Do you feel like in general she's attractive?
No offense but you're coming across like a caricature. I have plenty of chick friends that I'm not actively trying to bang. We're not in high school anymore.
Not everyone... I have guy friends who are married and some who aren't. What effort do you mean? The effort is in dating, not friendship. If the friendship is felt as an effort, then it's not a right fit. There should be no pressure in friendship as you both know that's all it is so you quit the analysis stuff you do with dating. Friends are also great for giving perspective and advice and not just in the dating world. I like diversity, men, women, ethnic, gay, whatever. You should always want to expand your horizons. If you like someone enough, then it shouldn't be work being friends. With friends, there is no timeline of sorts like there seems to be for most with dating.
Don't get me wrong, I would totally lay into it if offered, but unlike some of you guys, I don't walk around making decisions based on whether I'm going to dip my pen in ink.
I'm not saying it's about trying to bang them. I'm saying at some level you have some sort of physical attraction that motivates you to make the effort.
You seriously have no female friends who are just friends? What about girlfriends/spouses of male friends?
Pretty much all female friends fall into categories:
Actively.
Maybe for you they aren't, but I've made great friends from my SO's friends. We already had one thing in common, the SO. Chances are you'll find similar interests and all hang out together. Man, some of your lives sound boring..
I wouldn't say their lives are boring, but their general psychology regarding sex isn't too far evolved from cavemen.
