***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (3 Viewers)

[Sweet J]

So, I might be headed back in here soon, although cautiously.

AA has been a HUGE disappointment. After two weeks, it feels like a cult, and it's making me extremely uncomfortable. The no-dating thing was fine...until they started laying on more "rules" that had nothing to do with stopping drinking. It's sad that I have to do the whole sobriety thing on my own, but they kept telling me what a bad person I was in EVERY aspect of my life, and how horrible my life is right now, and that they had the only solution.

Sounds way too much like I'm being indoctrinated, rather than helped.

As far as this is concerned, it'll be a little bit until I'm sure I can handle this on my own, but I don't see the harm in coming back.

Hey Keys -I have never done AA but know guys that have. To be honest I didn't think you were an alcoholic, at least compared to the guys that I know that entered the program - those guys were serious binge drinkers that would go on 3-4 day benders - I am talking being drunk all the time. I think so long as you don't crave the sauce you should be o.k. I like to drink but I really only go out once maybe twice a week - if anything I think I need to go out more. I also have a fridge stocked with beers and I never drink them when I am alone - to health conscious.

Not trying to be the devil here, but if it is not working for you I say get out. The way you describe it, it almost sounds like it is run in a church by a pragmatic preacher or something.

Thanks John. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Still feel I am, but that program is just NOT for me.

this may be the only telling sign so far in what I have read that you may actually have a problem.I didnt think you did before. I thought you were being a little over dramatic. I still pretty much feel that way. However, i think that many people who do have a problem have a very strong reaction against AA. So You should at least make sure you examine this closely to make sure it is not a defensive move.

AA is a funny thing. You get different feels depending on the particular meeting you go to. Some are more heavy handed, some are not. Regarding the indoctrination thing -- this is such a tricky issue because to tackle something like giving up alcohol, for an alcoholic, is so huge and life changing that you almost HAVE to be indoctrinated into a different way of life, almost like a religion. If giving up drinking were easy, it wouldn't be an issue. Some people HAVE to feel like they are in a cult, or at least close to a religious experience, in order to give up something that has been such a way of life for them for so many years.Keys, there are a lot of insights in the Big Book. You should take some time alone and page through it. It addresses some of these issues (along with the idea of believing in a higher power, which is suprizingly important). Good luck either way, gb.

Edit: Here is chapter 4 of the big book, in case you haven't read it. It may be helpful for some of what you are experiencing.

 

[larry_boy_44]

last night = badremind me not to e-mail when i'm drinking alone next time

what did you do???

had two cute girls give a "read deleted" to some bad e-mails i sent

what did the e-mails say?

 

[Woz]

last night = badremind me not to e-mail when i'm drinking alone next time

what did you do???

had two cute girls give a "read deleted" to some bad e-mails i sent

what did the e-mails say?

read back a couple page. it's funny, normally when drunk i can act rather normal and not do stupid things in person. but ####### open up my e-mail or the internet and bam i'm a ####### ####up

 

[larry_boy_44]

last night = badremind me not to e-mail when i'm drinking alone next time

what did you do???

had two cute girls give a "read deleted" to some bad e-mails i sent

what did the e-mails say?

read back a couple page. it's funny, normally when drunk i can act rather normal and not do stupid things in person. but ####### open up my e-mail or the internet and bam i'm a ####### ####up

oh, I thought there were new ones...

 

[Disco Stu]

I signed up at plentyoffish yesterday. Looks pretty promising...

Outstanding response rate here. Uploaded a few pics to the underground. Hope to meet at least one of those three Saturday.

Hey Stu, whatever happened to the cute redhaired hairdresser? I think I was in with her myself. Seem to recall you lived far away from one another and were having trouble getting together...

Yeah, I kind of dropped it after that. I also got the impression that she enjoyed myspace public attention, which I'm not into at all. I don't want to be one of those schlubs drooling over some chick's myspace.She did send me a message there last weekend. And then I noticed her at POF, so I sent her a "familiar face" type note. I actually owe a response on that one. Maybe I should pursue this more just for you...

I thought she was the cutest girl that anyone posted.

Update:Message exchange at POF...

Hey "Red",

I just registered here about an hour ago. While I was trying to figure this place out, a familiar smile and crop of red hair along the bottom of the screen caught my eye.

Any luck with this site?

------------------------

No luck....a friend of mine told me about this site a month or so ago. I just think I'm in a funk, too picky and not ready to meet anyone, other than friends.

Let me know how it works for ya...

-----------------------

I've gotta agree with the "too picky" part. I mean c'mon, you don't even want to meet ME???

Happy Birthday! Hope you're having a good one.

-----------------------

Thanks! Sure we can meet. I just started thinking you probably live too far away :(

Well played! (Of course, I hand out "well played" cards at this point to anyone who doesn't mention pedophilia.) Hope you two get a chance to get together.

Looks like we'll do lunch next week.

 

[Drifter]

Woz -

Here are the things that were wrong with your emails:

1. You did nothing to engage her in conversation. You mention their jobs in passing but you don't probe (what kind of law, what kind of nurse, do you like it, what made you want to do that, etc)

2. You weren't witty

3. You were barely complimentary (You look normal??!!)

4. Your emails came off as form letters (which they were)

5. You made some creepy statements.

a. The pedophile thing, obviously. You were on the right track with trying to be kind of witty, but you chose a bad topic. Something like, "Of course, I spend my time forced to defend axe murderers and stalkers. I'm sure you've met some of my clients through this site." would have gone off much better.

b. The lawyer "dating within the profession" thing. Most lawyers (and I know a ton) don't think of themselves as some sort of subsect of society - only law students think this way (I've known' plenty of those as well)

 

[Disco Stu]

Wow..just wow...Woz, as has been stated earlier, keep it short and sweet. Pick like 2 things about her profile that shows you're paying attention. Make a quick joke (doesn't even have to be good) and ask a question or two. Don't offer too much about yourself, leave her intrigued. Give her a reason to want to respond. Here's a sample email that worked for me...she mentioned moving here and she had a caption on pic that mentioned it was her 3rd time being maid of honor...

Hi Katie,Always a bridesmaid, never a bride huh? I know that feeling I stood up in my 6th wedding last weekend and have my 7th coming in September! Such good friends we are! So, you are moving the Milwaukee? Will you be working in MPS? What area of the city do you plan to move to? You can get a hold of me on IM as strykerpks. Or you can shoot an email my way with the same name to gmail.com. Hope to hear from you soon!Matt

Katie just left my place Although she is getting pretty clingy

I like the idea of sharing these here. Could be helpful for everyone. I tend to keep mine shorter, but that's just me. I'll ask just one question instead of three... not sure if that's better, worse, or indifferent.

 

[Disco Stu]

Here's a recent first message of mine. Under profession, she listed "play with puppies all day"...

Subject: play with puppies all day?Seriously? If you get paid for this I may need to look into a career change.

That's it. I don't see any reason to say anything about myself, since my profile is right there. Just short and lighthearted...Thoughts?

 

[larry_boy_44]

does this online dating stuff actually work???

 

[Drifter]

does this online dating stuff actually work???

Met my wife doing it. Know several others that met their spouses or soon to be spouses as well.

 

[larry_boy_44]

does this online dating stuff actually work???

Met my wife doing it. Know several others that met their spouses or soon to be spouses as well.

hmmmm... I might have to check it out...ain't not other way I'm gonna meet a girl since I don't go clubbing or to bars or anything... lol

 

[pricklypete]

Here's a recent first message of mine. Under profession, she listed "play with puppies all day"...

Subject: play with puppies all day?Seriously? If you get paid for this I may need to look into a career change.

That's it. I don't see any reason to say anything about myself, since my profile is right there. Just short and lighthearted...Thoughts?

I like it.Maybe expounded a little to give her a reason to reply. Just a stupid/witty question that related to what you sent.AND NO WOZ, NOTHING ABOUT BEASTIALITY.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Stu:

Way to avoid the "I'd like to play with your puppies" trap!

 

[Drifter]

Here's a recent first message of mine. Under profession, she listed "play with puppies all day"...

Subject: play with puppies all day?Seriously? If you get paid for this I may need to look into a career change.

That's it. I don't see any reason to say anything about myself, since my profile is right there. Just short and lighthearted...Thoughts?

I like it.Maybe expounded a little to give her a reason to reply. Just a stupid/witty question that related to what you sent.AND NO WOZ, NOTHING ABOUT BEASTIALITY.

I once dated a girl who had mentioned something about thumb wrestling in her profile. I responded that I had been banned from formal thumb wrestling because of an incident a few years back. We shticked back and forth for a few emails about that before we ended up meeting.Unfortunately, she was in pharmacy school and was far too busy to make anything happen. Good bye cute asian, pharmacy student who like to fish and go to baseball games.

 

[Alias]

ok I signed up at plentyoffish - I really need a better pic, guess I will work on that this weekend.

 

[strykerpks]

Here's a recent first message of mine. Under profession, she listed "play with puppies all day"...

Subject: play with puppies all day?Seriously? If you get paid for this I may need to look into a career change.

That's it. I don't see any reason to say anything about myself, since my profile is right there. Just short and lighthearted...Thoughts?

I like it.Maybe expounded a little to give her a reason to reply. Just a stupid/witty question that related to what you sent.AND NO WOZ, NOTHING ABOUT BEASTIALITY.

I like it too, but I agree with pricklypete that 1-2 sentences may be a bit too short. What was her response?

 

[mr. furley]

Actually Keys Madison might be your whole problem. If you arent drinking, it pretty much sucks.

Madison is plenty cool.

 

[mr. furley]

does this online dating stuff actually work???

Met my wife doing it. Know several others that met their spouses or soon to be spouses as well.

hmmmm... I might have to check it out...ain't not other way I'm gonna meet a girl since I don't go clubbing or to bars or anything... lol

MODS: please remove the ceiling from this thread.

 

[Alias]

does this online dating stuff actually work???

Met my wife doing it. Know several others that met their spouses or soon to be spouses as well.

hmmmm... I might have to check it out...ain't not other way I'm gonna meet a girl since I don't go clubbing or to bars or anything... lol

MODS: please remove the ceiling from this thread.

 

[Disco Stu]

Here's a recent first message of mine. Under profession, she listed "play with puppies all day"...

Subject: play with puppies all day?Seriously? If you get paid for this I may need to look into a career change.

That's it. I don't see any reason to say anything about myself, since my profile is right there. Just short and lighthearted...Thoughts?

I like it.Maybe expounded a little to give her a reason to reply. Just a stupid/witty question that related to what you sent.AND NO WOZ, NOTHING ABOUT BEASTIALITY.

I like it too, but I agree with pricklypete that 1-2 sentences may be a bit too short. What was her response?

Very enthusiastic...

ha ha!!! thats on 5% of my job!!! how r u??? glad u finally stopped by.... why, do u want to play with puppies all day with me at work???

I have no idea what she's talking about on the "finally stopped by" part. I sent her that message my first day at the site.

 

[pricklypete]

Here's a recent first message of mine. Under profession, she listed "play with puppies all day"...

Subject: play with puppies all day?Seriously? If you get paid for this I may need to look into a career change.

That's it. I don't see any reason to say anything about myself, since my profile is right there. Just short and lighthearted...Thoughts?

I like it.Maybe expounded a little to give her a reason to reply. Just a stupid/witty question that related to what you sent.AND NO WOZ, NOTHING ABOUT BEASTIALITY.

I like it too, but I agree with pricklypete that 1-2 sentences may be a bit too short. What was her response?

Very enthusiastic...

ha ha!!! thats on 5% of my job!!! how r u??? glad u finally stopped by.... why, do u want to play with puppies all day with me at work???

I have no idea what she's talking about on the "finally stopped by" part. I sent her that message my first day at the site.

 

[mr. furley]

Very enthusiastic...

ha ha!!! thats on 5% of my job!!! how r u??? glad u finally stopped by.... why, do u want to play with puppies all day with me at work???

I have no idea what she's talking about on the "finally stopped by" part. I sent her that message my first day at the site.

DANGER

 

[larry_boy_44]

does this online dating stuff actually work???

Met my wife doing it. Know several others that met their spouses or soon to be spouses as well.

hmmmm... I might have to check it out...ain't not other way I'm gonna meet a girl since I don't go clubbing or to bars or anything... lol

MODS: please remove the ceiling from this thread.

I haven't signed up yet, I'll get some pics this weekend and sign up hopefully this weekend/early next week...in the meantime, feel free to scope out chicks in the Milwaukee/Waukesha area... lol

 

[Alias]

omg that plentyoffish site is addictive, much better then eHarmony for the eye candy.

 

[pricklypete]

Very enthusiastic...

ha ha!!! thats on 5% of my job!!! how r u??? glad u finally stopped by.... why, do u want to play with puppies all day with me at work???

I have no idea what she's talking about on the "finally stopped by" part. I sent her that message my first day at the site.

DANGER

Forget that, she sounds pretty stupid.Stupid = Easy.

 

[pricklypete]

Very enthusiastic...

ha ha!!! thats on 5% of my job!!! how r u??? glad u finally stopped by.... why, do u want to play with puppies all day with me at work???

I have no idea what she's talking about on the "finally stopped by" part. I sent her that message my first day at the site.

DANGER

Forget that, she sounds pretty stupid.Stupid = Easy.

That was a little harsh.

I'm sure she's alright.

 

[Keys Myaths]

Very enthusiastic...

ha ha!!! thats on 5% of my job!!! how r u??? glad u finally stopped by.... why, do u want to play with puppies all day with me at work???

I have no idea what she's talking about on the "finally stopped by" part. I sent her that message my first day at the site.

DANGER

GB, this is what we live for. She won't even remember his name the next morning. No, not because she got drunk...

"Who's this next to me...Stanley, Steve...Oh, look, a chicken! Yay!"

 

[mr. furley]

Very enthusiastic...

ha ha!!! thats on 5% of my job!!! how r u??? glad u finally stopped by.... why, do u want to play with puppies all day with me at work???

I have no idea what she's talking about on the "finally stopped by" part. I sent her that message my first day at the site.

DANGER

GB, this is what we live for. She won't even remember his name the next morning. No, not because she got drunk...

"Who's this next to me...Stanley, Steve...Oh, look, a chicken! Yay!"

 

[larry_boy_44]

Very enthusiastic...

ha ha!!! thats on 5% of my job!!! how r u??? glad u finally stopped by.... why, do u want to play with puppies all day with me at work???

I have no idea what she's talking about on the "finally stopped by" part. I sent her that message my first day at the site.

DANGER

GB, this is what we live for. She won't even remember his name the next morning. No, not because she got drunk...

"Who's this next to me...Stanley, Steve...Oh, look, a chicken! Yay!"

 

[strykerpks]

Very enthusiastic...

ha ha!!! thats on 5% of my job!!! how r u??? glad u finally stopped by.... why, do u want to play with puppies all day with me at work???

I have no idea what she's talking about on the "finally stopped by" part. I sent her that message my first day at the site.

DANGER

GB, this is what we live for. She won't even remember his name the next morning. No, not because she got drunk...

"Who's this next to me...Stanley, Steve...Oh, look, a chicken! Yay!"

OMFG

 

[Disco Stu]

Very enthusiastic...

ha ha!!! thats on 5% of my job!!! how r u??? glad u finally stopped by.... why, do u want to play with puppies all day with me at work???

I have no idea what she's talking about on the "finally stopped by" part. I sent her that message my first day at the site.

DANGER

GB, this is what we live for. She won't even remember his name the next morning. No, not because she got drunk...

"Who's this next to me...Stanley, Steve...Oh, look, a chicken! Yay!"

At first I thought the play with puppies thing might mean she's a veterinarian, but I ruled that out once I read she likes to "drink maraquitas and eat enciladas".

EDIT: To her credit, she did put include "(yes, i know it might not be spelled right)" at the end of that sentence thought.

 

[Alias]

I think I found a doors fan, cute to boot (from plentyoffish)

 

[Alias]

Very enthusiastic...

ha ha!!! thats on 5% of my job!!! how r u??? glad u finally stopped by.... why, do u want to play with puppies all day with me at work???

I have no idea what she's talking about on the "finally stopped by" part. I sent her that message my first day at the site.

DANGER

GB, this is what we live for. She won't even remember his name the next morning. No, not because she got drunk...

"Who's this next to me...Stanley, Steve...Oh, look, a chicken! Yay!"

 

[Disco Stu]

WTF?

hey guys my name is crystal baker!!!! nd i love to play all different kids of sports...i jst tured 27 on feb 4th.i'm now working at my job. i can't tell you intill you write me boys. i work part time. i stock, cashier, and more... i love watching my soaps i have to be there at home everyday to watch my soaps... my dream is to meet on of the actors/actress on one live to live nd general hospital. those are my two favorite shows. if i hve nothing to do i watch the game shows. likw lingo, deal or no deal, who wants to a millionare, and more. i dnt have kids yet. i don't know if i want them or not but i have had sex before. after work i love to get massges on my back and take hot showers.......... man that fells so good.. i love riding horses, i love animals so much. i have 2 dogs named lucy, maxy. i hate spiders and when my dfogs poop in the house well thats a little bit about me so write to me and i'll tell you more... so write me and i'll like me!!!

You must go out with her. Imagine the shtick!

I must say, I'm intrigued... Can this girl actually function? How is she not dead yet?Plus she's kinda cute.

I don't guarantee I'll use them, but I will accept FFA suggestions on an opening email.

"I glad yuo had the sek before sence I ready to give you teh juice llo."

I forgot to send this chick a message last night. How's this?

i love dogs too!!! but i hate when they eat spiders n then poops em out in teh kitchen though! llo. write me and i'll tell you about my freind moobers...

Unfortunately this girl still hasn't logged in since before I sent that message.

 

[larry_boy_44]

definately setting up a profile... lol

 

[Alias]

I just responded to a girl that had this in her profile:

I want someone who enjoys romantic vacations and umbrellas in their drinks as much as I do. (And someone who will think its really cute when I get far too excited about the umbrellas in my drink.)

SUBJECT: Something doesn't add upYou like guys that put umbrellas in their drinks? lol. I guess you are picky :( Is it o.k. if I order a Guinness and put a little umbrella in it? I will leave at that, if I piqued your curiosity then I will hear from you!Cheers,-Johntoo over the top? She is only 23 and very cute - seemed like an all or nothing attempt

 

[Disco Stu]

I just responded to a girl that had this in her profile:

I want someone who enjoys romantic vacations and umbrellas in their drinks as much as I do. (And someone who will think its really cute when I get far too excited about the umbrellas in my drink.)

SUBJECT: Something doesn't add upYou like guys that put umbrellas in their drinks? lol. I guess you are picky Is it o.k. if I order a Guinness and put a little umbrella in it? I will leave at that, if I piqued your curiosity then I will hear from you!

Cheers,

-John

too over the top? She is only 23 and very cute - seemed like an all or nothing attempt

To me, the bold part goes without saying. :( But like I've said, I like to keep these as short as possible.

 

[Alias]

I just responded to a girl that had this in her profile:

I want someone who enjoys romantic vacations and umbrellas in their drinks as much as I do. (And someone who will think its really cute when I get far too excited about the umbrellas in my drink.)

SUBJECT: Something doesn't add upYou like guys that put umbrellas in their drinks? lol. I guess you are picky Is it o.k. if I order a Guinness and put a little umbrella in it? I will leave at that, if I piqued your curiosity then I will hear from you!

Cheers,

-John

too over the top? She is only 23 and very cute - seemed like an all or nothing attempt

To me, the bold part goes without saying. But like I've said, I like to keep these as short as possible.

Yeah less is more, I will cut that out of my "template"

 

[krista4]

Very enthusiastic...

ha ha!!! thats on 5% of my job!!! how r u??? glad u finally stopped by.... why, do u want to play with puppies all day with me at work???

I have no idea what she's talking about on the "finally stopped by" part. I sent her that message my first day at the site.

DANGER

GB, this is what we live for. She won't even remember his name the next morning. No, not because she got drunk...

"Who's this next to me...Stanley, Steve...Oh, look, a chicken! Yay!"

:wipingtearsfromeyes:

 

[strykerpks]

I just responded to a girl that had this in her profile:

I want someone who enjoys romantic vacations and umbrellas in their drinks as much as I do. (And someone who will think its really cute when I get far too excited about the umbrellas in my drink.)

SUBJECT: Something doesn't add upYou like guys that put umbrellas in their drinks? lol. I guess you are picky Is it o.k. if I order a Guinness and put a little umbrella in it? I will leave at that, if I piqued your curiosity then I will hear from you!

Cheers,

-John

too over the top? She is only 23 and very cute - seemed like an all or nothing attempt

To me, the bold part goes without saying. But like I've said, I like to keep these as short as possible.

I agree with that. Assume you have piqued her interest and say something to the effect of "Look forward to hearing from you". Seems minor but asking if shes interested is a sign of a lack of confidence. These things can be trickyOtherwise, not bad

 

[larry_boy_44]

should there be a template as far as e-mailing the chick goes???

what should one say about themself in the profile??

have I mentioned I don't think I've ever gone on a real date? (and, yes, I was engaged... lol... we kinda skipped the dating part and went right into the super-serious relationship part)

 

[Capella]

SUBJECT: Something doesn't add up

You like guys that put umbrellas in their drinks? lol. I guess you are picky Is it o.k. if I order a Guinness and put a little umbrella in it? I will leave at that, if I piqued your curiosity then I will hear from you!

Cheers,

-John

That's all you need.Also, people use 'lol' in these emails? Comes off teenager-ish to me. I would avoid it, but just my opinion (jmo, omg)

 

[Keys Myaths]

should there be a template as far as e-mailing the chick goes???

Hi. I'm Larry. I killed Jesus.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Something like, "Of course, I spend my time forced to defend axe murderers and stalkers. I'm sure you've met some of my clients through this site." would have gone off much better.

You're not helping.

 

[Alias]

Hey I found a supermodel writing her now,

 

[larry_boy_44]

should there be a template as far as e-mailing the chick goes???

Hi. I'm Larry. I killed Jesus.

but if I say that they'll think I'm Jewish... then when I explain... they'll think I'm a loser...and I realize I don't hav ea ton of experience with this... but I'm pretty sure that's not a good way to get a girl...

 

[Drifter]

should there be a template as far as e-mailing the chick goes???what should one say about themself in the profile??have I mentioned I don't think I've ever gone on a real date? (and, yes, I was engaged... lol... we kinda skipped the dating part and went right into the super-serious relationship part)

Lots of advice early on in the thread, Larry. Check out the first few pages. Don't be too form letter with your initial emails. They can tell when you've just sent the same thing out a few dozen times.I understand where you were coming from. Just out of college, I'd never really "dated" since college was all about the hookup rather than the formal asking out on a date. You'll pick it up.

 

[larry_boy_44]

should there be a template as far as e-mailing the chick goes???

what should one say about themself in the profile??

have I mentioned I don't think I've ever gone on a real date? (and, yes, I was engaged... lol... we kinda skipped the dating part and went right into the super-serious relationship part)

Lots of advice early on in the thread, Larry. Check out the first few pages. Don't be too form letter with your initial emails. They can tell when you've just sent the same thing out a few dozen times.I understand where you were coming from. Just out of college, I'd never really "dated" since college was all about the hookup rather than the formal asking out on a date. You'll pick it up.

 

[Drifter]

Something like, "Of course, I spend my time forced to defend axe murderers and stalkers. I'm sure you've met some of my clients through this site." would have gone off much better.

You're not helping.

Sure I am. That's money. It's lighthearted and women on those sites have definitely met their share of crazies. You are acknowleding that fact and by doing so, you are giving her some comfort that you are not one of them. Also, the word "forced" tells them that you aren't defending people like that because you want to.

 

[Drifter]

should there be a template as far as e-mailing the chick goes???

what should one say about themself in the profile??

have I mentioned I don't think I've ever gone on a real date? (and, yes, I was engaged... lol... we kinda skipped the dating part and went right into the super-serious relationship part)

Lots of advice early on in the thread, Larry. Check out the first few pages. Don't be too form letter with your initial emails. They can tell when you've just sent the same thing out a few dozen times.I understand where you were coming from. Just out of college, I'd never really "dated" since college was all about the hookup rather than the formal asking out on a date. You'll pick it up.

Different paths but the same result.