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Should've stopped at the 2nd sentence.Could be you just weren't her type physically.Did this message suck?
I was kind of surprised I lost this girl. I don't think she's out of my league looks wise at all, but maybe she disagrees.
Read DeletedFigured I'd be right in her wheelhouse. Tall, 30s, intelligent, good career...Maybe it's the kid thing.
Now that's just crazy talk.
Speaking of, I really wish I was attracted to this chick. She sounds cool as hell. 
Sorry - but you're just plain wrong on this one. Women, especially cute ones, get absolutely bombarded on here and 90% of the guys out there use carbon copy messages that don't stand out at all. That was the biggest complaint I heard from women when I was doing this.I've been following this thread as sort of an onlooker from page 1, sort of considering doing the whole online dating thing and just wanting to see how everything was going. Still not ready to take the plunge, but I finally had something to add. I have to say that I think everyone tries way too hard to be clever or funny in their initial messages. It seems to me that women would appreciate a more genuine and down to earth approach to the first contact. I'm thinking these women don't get as many messages as you might guess (so you don't have to try so darn hard to stand out), and just a simple e-mail saying you are interested and why might do the trick instead of all this business about pedophiles, strangers in pictures, what have you. Of course I have no actual experience with this...
:notclickingonitincaseit'sapictureofme:Now that's just crazy talk.Speaking of, I really wish I was attracted to this chick. She sounds cool as hell.
I know of women who get upwards of 50 messages a day. That makes it pretty easy to get lost in the crowd.I have more success with bringing the funny/cheesy/random but try not to force it. If nothing comes immediately to mind, I'll just go with the basic as you suggest. Those have had a much lower response rate though. YMMV.I've been following this thread as sort of an onlooker from page 1, sort of considering doing the whole online dating thing and just wanting to see how everything was going. Still not ready to take the plunge, but I finally had something to add. I have to say that I think everyone tries way too hard to be clever or funny in their initial messages. It seems to me that women would appreciate a more genuine and down to earth approach to the first contact. I'm thinking these women don't get as many messages as you might guess (so you don't have to try so darn hard to stand out), and just a simple e-mail saying you are interested and why might do the trick instead of all this business about pedophiles, strangers in pictures, what have you. Of course I have no actual experience with this...
:notclickingonitincaseit'sapictureofme:Now that's just crazy talk.
You know that can't be. I was even trying to lure you to Dallas using the redhead as bait.This is so VERY TRUE!!!! Maybe it is my age (32) or my level of maturity, but it is not longer cute when a guy asks me how many frostings will be needed to make a "double decker" cake and then proceeds to invite me over for cake, or asks me what shirt I prefer and then proceeds to tell me he will wear it on "our first date" or goes out of his way to make himself look stupid to get my attention. I have mentioned to DaVinci multiple times that I would probably never re-marry if something was to happen to him (just because I do not like the games guys play) until last week. I was browsing the soups when I was approached and in a very nice manner the guy said, "I'm sure you are asked often and I hope I do not offend you, but are you married?" I replied that I was indeed married (with children) and no I wasn't offended. Of course, then he started apologizing, but the whole exchange was refreshing and too the point (which is preferable...at least to me).
He makes a good point. However, I agree you have show some personality anyone can fake a geez you are swell and oh by the way do you like stuff kind of letter.As Stu mentions the nice ones are getting tons of mail.I know of women who get upwards of 50 messages a day. That makes it pretty easy to get lost in the crowd.I have more success with bringing the funny/cheesy/random but try not to force it. If nothing comes immediately to mind, I'll just go with the basic as you suggest. Those have had a much lower response rate though. YMMV.I've been following this thread as sort of an onlooker from page 1, sort of considering doing the whole online dating thing and just wanting to see how everything was going. Still not ready to take the plunge, but I finally had something to add. I have to say that I think everyone tries way too hard to be clever or funny in their initial messages. It seems to me that women would appreciate a more genuine and down to earth approach to the first contact. I'm thinking these women don't get as many messages as you might guess (so you don't have to try so darn hard to stand out), and just a simple e-mail saying you are interested and why might do the trick instead of all this business about pedophiles, strangers in pictures, what have you. Of course I have no actual experience with this...
No way. Your reply to the humorly challenged broad wasI know of women who get upwards of 50 messages a day. That makes it pretty easy to get lost in the crowd.I have more success with bringing the funny/cheesy/random but try not to force it. If nothing comes immediately to mind, I'll just go with the basic as you suggest. Those have had a much lower response rate though. YMMV.I've been following this thread as sort of an onlooker from page 1, sort of considering doing the whole online dating thing and just wanting to see how everything was going. Still not ready to take the plunge, but I finally had something to add. I have to say that I think everyone tries way too hard to be clever or funny in their initial messages. It seems to me that women would appreciate a more genuine and down to earth approach to the first contact. I'm thinking these women don't get as many messages as you might guess (so you don't have to try so darn hard to stand out), and just a simple e-mail saying you are interested and why might do the trick instead of all this business about pedophiles, strangers in pictures, what have you. Of course I have no actual experience with this...
dont mean to be rude here but this reply is worthless.A married woman tells us she hates when single guys use cheesy pick up lines on her?
"Are you married?" is a stellar question to ask on a dating site.
I see your point, but the problem is all your examples are really really bad pickup lines. I doubt pickup lines go over very well in iDating either. No one is suggesting that. Nothing wrong with getting the iGirl to laugh though...
which one???
The first one... polar bear thing.
Maybe I am wrong, but if you read Stu's message for example (which is very similar to a lot of the other messages I've seen posted on here), he makes his clever joke and then talks for one sentence about her having her head on straight. Well if you look at the girl's profile you can tell right away that her job, family, and faith are the most important things to her in that order. I feel like any message that fails to mention any of those things is going to get deleted. I would try something simple and straightforward. Hi,I think it's really cool that you have a job you enjoy and that you are obviously passionate about. We all aspire to achieve that kind of happiness in our careers and you've already found it at age 30, to me that's amazing. More importantly though, your faith is a priority and you keep your family close. I wish I could have that kind of balance in my life. It sounds like we have a lot of the same values and goals in life and would have a lot in common. I definitely want to learn more about you. How did you get into the educational program business? I'm attending graduate school currently so education is important to me too. What church do you attend? I was baptized a Lutheran and still attend Lutheran services. What sort of stuff do you do in your free time (though it sounds like you don't have much)? I like to stay active, play basketball or go for a jog, and I love to watch hockey and football. Please drop me a line if you like the looks of my profile.-Andy (It was a fairly easy message for me to write because I think her and I would actually be a decent match except that I'm only 22, but still you get the idea)I'm just throwing an idea out there, but Mrs. BSR seems to agree and I'd be curious to see what Krista has to say.Sorry - but you're just plain wrong on this one. Women, especially cute ones, get absolutely bombarded on here and 90% of the guys out there use carbon copy messages that don't stand out at all. That was the biggest complaint I heard from women when I was doing this.I've been following this thread as sort of an onlooker from page 1, sort of considering doing the whole online dating thing and just wanting to see how everything was going. Still not ready to take the plunge, but I finally had something to add. I have to say that I think everyone tries way too hard to be clever or funny in their initial messages. It seems to me that women would appreciate a more genuine and down to earth approach to the first contact. I'm thinking these women don't get as many messages as you might guess (so you don't have to try so darn hard to stand out), and just a simple e-mail saying you are interested and why might do the trick instead of all this business about pedophiles, strangers in pictures, what have you. Of course I have no actual experience with this...
Have you met Woz? That looks a lot like one of his messages, which is not a good thing.Maybe I am wrong, but if you read Stu's message for example (which is very similar to a lot of the other messages I've seen posted on here, he makes his clever joke and then talks for one sentence about her having her head on straight. Well if you look at the girl's profile you can tell right away that her job, family, and faith are the most important things to her in that order. I feel like any message that fails to mention any of those things is going to get deleted. I would try something simple and straightforward. Hi,I think it's really cool that you have a job you enjoy and that you are obviously passionate about. We all aspire to achieve that kind of happiness in our careers and you've already found it at age 30, to me that's amazing. More importantly though, your faith is a priority and you keep your family close. I wish I could have that kind of balance in my life. It sounds like we have a lot of the same values and goals in life and would have a lot in common. I definitely want to learn more about you. How did you get into the educational program business? What church do you attend? What sort of stuff do you do in your free time (though it sounds like you don't have much? Please drop me a line if you like the looks of my profile.-Andy I'm just throwing an idea out there, but Mrs. BSR seems to agree and I'd be curious to see what Krista has to say.Sorry - but you're just plain wrong on this one. Women, especially cute ones, get absolutely bombarded on here and 90% of the guys out there use carbon copy messages that don't stand out at all. That was the biggest complaint I heard from women when I was doing this.I've been following this thread as sort of an onlooker from page 1, sort of considering doing the whole online dating thing and just wanting to see how everything was going. Still not ready to take the plunge, but I finally had something to add. I have to say that I think everyone tries way too hard to be clever or funny in their initial messages. It seems to me that women would appreciate a more genuine and down to earth approach to the first contact. I'm thinking these women don't get as many messages as you might guess (so you don't have to try so darn hard to stand out), and just a simple e-mail saying you are interested and why might do the trick instead of all this business about pedophiles, strangers in pictures, what have you. Of course I have no actual experience with this...
FYI, the first thing that girl said she was looking for was a guy that can make her laugh. And she must have just added the churchy stuff. That wasn't there when I sent the message.
I can't access profiles from work so can't give an opinion on an approach to this particular girl, but in a sense I agree with both sides of this. I think the e-mail needs to be tailored as much as possible to the type of girl you're approaching...if her profile is sincere and serious, as it sounds like this one is, your approach would probably work better. If the profile is light-hearted and fun, the jokes are going to make you stand out more. I assume, based on what I know of Stu, that he is likely approaching more "fun" girls in general, so his approach probably works better in those instances. For me personally, I'd be more responsive to that type of approach, but that's because I wouldn't be taking any of this seriously. If the girl's profile gives off a serious vibe, then you have to adjust accordingly.Maybe I am wrong, but if you read Stu's message for example (which is very similar to a lot of the other messages I've seen posted on here, he makes his clever joke and then talks for one sentence about her having her head on straight. Well if you look at the girl's profile you can tell right away that her job, family, and faith are the most important things to her in that order. I feel like any message that fails to mention any of those things is going to get deleted. I would try something simple and straightforward. Hi,I think it's really cool that you have a job you enjoy and that you are obviously passionate about. We all aspire to achieve that kind of happiness in our careers and you've already found it at age 30, to me that's amazing. More importantly though, your faith is a priority and you keep your family close. I wish I could have that kind of balance in my life. It sounds like we have a lot of the same values and goals in life and would have a lot in common. I definitely want to learn more about you. How did you get into the educational program business? What church do you attend? What sort of stuff do you do in your free time (though it sounds like you don't have much? Please drop me a line if you like the looks of my profile.-Andy I'm just throwing an idea out there, but Mrs. BSR seems to agree and I'd be curious to see what Krista has to say.Sorry - but you're just plain wrong on this one. Women, especially cute ones, get absolutely bombarded on here and 90% of the guys out there use carbon copy messages that don't stand out at all. That was the biggest complaint I heard from women when I was doing this.I've been following this thread as sort of an onlooker from page 1, sort of considering doing the whole online dating thing and just wanting to see how everything was going. Still not ready to take the plunge, but I finally had something to add. I have to say that I think everyone tries way too hard to be clever or funny in their initial messages. It seems to me that women would appreciate a more genuine and down to earth approach to the first contact. I'm thinking these women don't get as many messages as you might guess (so you don't have to try so darn hard to stand out), and just a simple e-mail saying you are interested and why might do the trick instead of all this business about pedophiles, strangers in pictures, what have you. Of course I have no actual experience with this...
Careful, or Woz will call you a skank.Have you met Woz? That looks a lot like one of his messages, which is not a good thing.Maybe I am wrong, but if you read Stu's message for example (which is very similar to a lot of the other messages I've seen posted on here, he makes his clever joke and then talks for one sentence about her having her head on straight. Well if you look at the girl's profile you can tell right away that her job, family, and faith are the most important things to her in that order. I feel like any message that fails to mention any of those things is going to get deleted. I would try something simple and straightforward. Hi,I think it's really cool that you have a job you enjoy and that you are obviously passionate about. We all aspire to achieve that kind of happiness in our careers and you've already found it at age 30, to me that's amazing. More importantly though, your faith is a priority and you keep your family close. I wish I could have that kind of balance in my life. It sounds like we have a lot of the same values and goals in life and would have a lot in common. I definitely want to learn more about you. How did you get into the educational program business? What church do you attend? What sort of stuff do you do in your free time (though it sounds like you don't have much? Please drop me a line if you like the looks of my profile.-Andy I'm just throwing an idea out there, but Mrs. BSR seems to agree and I'd be curious to see what Krista has to say.Sorry - but you're just plain wrong on this one. Women, especially cute ones, get absolutely bombarded on here and 90% of the guys out there use carbon copy messages that don't stand out at all. That was the biggest complaint I heard from women when I was doing this.I've been following this thread as sort of an onlooker from page 1, sort of considering doing the whole online dating thing and just wanting to see how everything was going. Still not ready to take the plunge, but I finally had something to add. I have to say that I think everyone tries way too hard to be clever or funny in their initial messages. It seems to me that women would appreciate a more genuine and down to earth approach to the first contact. I'm thinking these women don't get as many messages as you might guess (so you don't have to try so darn hard to stand out), and just a simple e-mail saying you are interested and why might do the trick instead of all this business about pedophiles, strangers in pictures, what have you. Of course I have no actual experience with this...FYI, the first thing that girl said she was looking for was a guy that can make her laugh. And she must have just added the churchy stuff. That wasn't there when I sent the message.
Every girl says that BS about a guy that can make her laugh, so I would never put too much stock in that. Understood about the church thing. Regardless, I think Krista is right that the messages would probably be equally effective if used on the right type of woman. I guess my real point is that the e-mail should not just be short and mildly humorous, but more genuine. Maybe a better strategy would be to still use your line about the stranger, but then include most of the stuff I mentioned. Then you can make her laugh but still get to what is really important to her (and ask a few questions so she can actually reply).Disco Stu said:Have you met Woz? That looks a lot like one of his messages, which is not a good thing.andyjayhawker said:Maybe I am wrong, but if you read Stu's message for example (which is very similar to a lot of the other messages I've seen posted on here, he makes his clever joke and then talks for one sentence about her having her head on straight. Well if you look at the girl's profile you can tell right away that her job, family, and faith are the most important things to her in that order. I feel like any message that fails to mention any of those things is going to get deleted. I would try something simple and straightforward. Hi,I think it's really cool that you have a job you enjoy and that you are obviously passionate about. We all aspire to achieve that kind of happiness in our careers and you've already found it at age 30, to me that's amazing. More importantly though, your faith is a priority and you keep your family close. I wish I could have that kind of balance in my life. It sounds like we have a lot of the same values and goals in life and would have a lot in common. I definitely want to learn more about you. How did you get into the educational program business? What church do you attend? What sort of stuff do you do in your free time (though it sounds like you don't have much? Please drop me a line if you like the looks of my profile.-Andy I'm just throwing an idea out there, but Mrs. BSR seems to agree and I'd be curious to see what Krista has to say.Drifter said:Sorry - but you're just plain wrong on this one. Women, especially cute ones, get absolutely bombarded on here and 90% of the guys out there use carbon copy messages that don't stand out at all. That was the biggest complaint I heard from women when I was doing this.andyjayhawker said:I've been following this thread as sort of an onlooker from page 1, sort of considering doing the whole online dating thing and just wanting to see how everything was going. Still not ready to take the plunge, but I finally had something to add. I have to say that I think everyone tries way too hard to be clever or funny in their initial messages. It seems to me that women would appreciate a more genuine and down to earth approach to the first contact. I'm thinking these women don't get as many messages as you might guess (so you don't have to try so darn hard to stand out), and just a simple e-mail saying you are interested and why might do the trick instead of all this business about pedophiles, strangers in pictures, what have you. Of course I have no actual experience with this...
i think the next time i am in one of those moods I might set up a profile and have some fun.krista wanna make me a fake one? give me some nasty job and some goofy pic and see how much wozdamage i can do.Disco Stu said:springroll said:
Also...if you have a picture on your profile of you with your shirt off in the bathroom taking a picture of yourself with your phone...I'm not interested! Thanks! I work for a company that sells education programs. I really like my job because we are helping children learn. Education is very important. No one should ever stop learning. I am looking for someone that has a sense of humor - very important to me! I would like someone that also has a career and has their life somewhat in order. I love having a career. I just got my third promotion in the past 2 years and I am very excited to start a new part of my life. I am not afraid of change...if you are scared of things, then you can miss out on something wonderful - like making more money! I like being self sufficient, and do not understand the girls that marry for money. Makes absolutely no sense to me. In my opinion, you must love yourself before you can fall in love with someone else. I do attend church as often as I can - I should do it more often! I am going to perform Handel's Messiah with my church in December. I have sung this piece about 5 times, and it is my favorite thing to sing!
Three questions is two too many IMO. You want to stay focused and not overwhelm. This is one of the problems I've had with the messages Woz comes up with. Another is the "I find it really cool", "that's amazing", "I wish I could be as great as you" type of ### kissing that you've got here. Woz usually "finds it impressive" but same concept.The third and final Wozian issue here is that it's just too long. The point of a first message IMO is to break the ice, show that you're interested (which you do simply by hitting send), and to not screw it up before she even looks at your profile. The more you type, the more likely she is to find a reason NOT to reply.Every girl says that BS about a guy that can make her laugh, so I would never put too much stock in that. Understood about the church thing. Regardless, I think Krista is right that the messages would probably be equally effective if used on the right type of woman. I guess my real point is that the e-mail should not just be short and mildly humorous, but more genuine. Maybe a better strategy would be to still use your line about the stranger, but then include most of the stuff I mentioned. Then you can make her laugh but still get to what is really important to her (and ask a few questions so she can actually reply).Disco Stu said:Have you met Woz? That looks a lot like one of his messages, which is not a good thing.andyjayhawker said:Maybe I am wrong, but if you read Stu's message for example (which is very similar to a lot of the other messages I've seen posted on here, he makes his clever joke and then talks for one sentence about her having her head on straight. Well if you look at the girl's profile you can tell right away that her job, family, and faith are the most important things to her in that order. I feel like any message that fails to mention any of those things is going to get deleted. I would try something simple and straightforward. Hi,I think it's really cool that you have a job you enjoy and that you are obviously passionate about. We all aspire to achieve that kind of happiness in our careers and you've already found it at age 30, to me that's amazing. More importantly though, your faith is a priority and you keep your family close. I wish I could have that kind of balance in my life. It sounds like we have a lot of the same values and goals in life and would have a lot in common. I definitely want to learn more about you. How did you get into the educational program business? What church do you attend? What sort of stuff do you do in your free time (though it sounds like you don't have much? Please drop me a line if you like the looks of my profile.-Andy I'm just throwing an idea out there, but Mrs. BSR seems to agree and I'd be curious to see what Krista has to say.Drifter said:Sorry - but you're just plain wrong on this one. Women, especially cute ones, get absolutely bombarded on here and 90% of the guys out there use carbon copy messages that don't stand out at all. That was the biggest complaint I heard from women when I was doing this.andyjayhawker said:I've been following this thread as sort of an onlooker from page 1, sort of considering doing the whole online dating thing and just wanting to see how everything was going. Still not ready to take the plunge, but I finally had something to add. I have to say that I think everyone tries way too hard to be clever or funny in their initial messages. It seems to me that women would appreciate a more genuine and down to earth approach to the first contact. I'm thinking these women don't get as many messages as you might guess (so you don't have to try so darn hard to stand out), and just a simple e-mail saying you are interested and why might do the trick instead of all this business about pedophiles, strangers in pictures, what have you. Of course I have no actual experience with this...
:unsuccessful:Disco Stu said:
god bless u stryker:unsuccessful:Disco Stu said:
god bless u stryker:unsuccessful:Disco Stu said:
Perhaps it was all in the delivery.. 
Agreed...I like the parking ticket one better.
Just don't do it at the wrong time:Disco Stu said:"Are you married?" is a stellar question to ask on a dating site.
TIA.
I prefer to have that question answered before I start making out with someone, but hey, that's just me.Just don't do it at the wrong time:Disco Stu said:"Are you married?" is a stellar question to ask on a dating site.TIA.
Ouch.Give it a spin anyway.Disco Stu said:Now that's just crazy talk.KnowledgeReignsSupreme said:
Go and find out. Set up one date, if nothing happens, you have your answer.
Too bad for me that he's married!)
I have. My profile isn't the slightest bit serious and I don't actively look to date on there, but when something interesting falls in my lap I'll pursue it.
She want's a fuddy, light looks green to me.
Probably just looking for something, not someone, to do while she's in town, but worth going out once to see.
i think your missing my point.Someone like myself who hates Bush would remove you from my potential list because your intro makes you come off like a crazy liberal. I dont want to date anyone who is so motivated by politics that in their intro they put "W lovers need not apply"krista4 said:
Depends on the girl, but if she was looking for a new friend to hang out with why not choose a girl? Since she chose a guy, what was it about Stu that helped her make that decision? I bet she asked herself if she would do him. I know guys work this way, so maybe women are different, but I don't think they are that much different.Probably just looking for something, not someone, to do while she's in town, but worth going out once to see.
This is the way I was leaning. I'm not real interested in being a tour guide, but a one night commitment probably wouldn't hurt.Probably just looking for something, not someone, to do while she's in town, but worth going out once to see.
very witty, surprised it didnt work. must be something else. You might be getting around town too much. Got a PoF iRepDisco Stu said:Did this message suck?
I was kind of surprised I lost this girl. I don't think she's out of my league looks wise at all, but maybe she disagrees.
Read DeletedFigured I'd be right in her wheelhouse. Tall, 30s, intelligent, good career...
