***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (4 Viewers)

[Disco Stu]

Second one: the guy requested fast-track and I said fine; he sent me his e-mail address, and I told him I'd send a message when I had a chance. So I did (one day later, which is very fast for me), and then got three messages from him in succession. The first was inviting me to gmail chat. The second:

Krista,It would be a lie to not tell you that I have been waiting a bit for your email. When I read your profile, it was a bit comical, considering you were matched-up with your ex in your prior stinct with eHarmony. I am attracted to educated, professional and "worldy" women in general and it is no wonder, I reached out to you. Thank you for your compliments. I do believe in giving especially to my partner to be and loved ones in my family and people in general. I was not always like this. I have been selfish, arrogant and self-centered. Then my son came along, divorce happened, and I simply grew-up. If you want honesty, this is it. My job - I am an enterprise software sales manager for a software company based out of San Diego and I am here in Chicago. I work with a well known entrepreneur and my role is primarily to sell, plan and strategize our products and position our ecosystem vision and articulate it to fortune 500 companies. I many ways, I shape the market especially with complex web applications. I do complex deals and work with cios and coos of companies like ADP, reynolds, Sabre, JP Morgan, etc. I also deal with Software as a Service market companies who are in business to provide real time on demand solutions to other companies.My son is Tristan. Matter of fact, he is sitting and watching cartoons. He is a darling. I love my boy. We do a lot of thigns together. Might be worth talking about him on the phone. My Divine Mother ... She is my Mother and guiding light. Please visit this site below...www.sriaurobindosociety.org.inI just bought my first condo. Here are some sample pics. I invited you to join gmail and there is an instant chat there and we can communicate through.

The third:

Krista,Just to make sure we are on the same page...sharing information about you; just simply share openly whatever you want me to know and ask away any questions and I will answer them. I like to try open, honest and straightforward approach...Along the way, a touch of romance might add spice to the conversation - even emails.Cheers,

Having not responded to those e-mails, I received a fourth one today:

I am hoping that you are alive and fine. please email me when you have a moment and we can communicate. better yet, call me. i am interested in speaking with you and learning and listening to you. Krista, have a good day.

HEEEEEEE'S BACK!

Krista,Hope you are doing well. I feel very sheepish writing this email..Regardless, I have good amount of respect for you to reach out to you.. wondering if you have time to try to connect with me.Thanks.

My god, now I almost feel like I have to respond. I feel bad for the guy. :(And it's not like we've even met or talked, so he can't be in a complete swoon over KristaCharm. Freaky.

Wow. Put the poor guy out of his misery. Tell him you have a new boyfriend or husband or something.

 

[Woz]

Second one: the guy requested fast-track and I said fine; he sent me his e-mail address, and I told him I'd send a message when I had a chance. So I did (one day later, which is very fast for me), and then got three messages from him in succession. The first was inviting me to gmail chat. The second:

Krista,It would be a lie to not tell you that I have been waiting a bit for your email. When I read your profile, it was a bit comical, considering you were matched-up with your ex in your prior stinct with eHarmony. I am attracted to educated, professional and "worldy" women in general and it is no wonder, I reached out to you. Thank you for your compliments. I do believe in giving especially to my partner to be and loved ones in my family and people in general. I was not always like this. I have been selfish, arrogant and self-centered. Then my son came along, divorce happened, and I simply grew-up. If you want honesty, this is it. My job - I am an enterprise software sales manager for a software company based out of San Diego and I am here in Chicago. I work with a well known entrepreneur and my role is primarily to sell, plan and strategize our products and position our ecosystem vision and articulate it to fortune 500 companies. I many ways, I shape the market especially with complex web applications. I do complex deals and work with cios and coos of companies like ADP, reynolds, Sabre, JP Morgan, etc. I also deal with Software as a Service market companies who are in business to provide real time on demand solutions to other companies.My son is Tristan. Matter of fact, he is sitting and watching cartoons. He is a darling. I love my boy. We do a lot of thigns together. Might be worth talking about him on the phone. My Divine Mother ... She is my Mother and guiding light. Please visit this site below...www.sriaurobindosociety.org.inI just bought my first condo. Here are some sample pics. I invited you to join gmail and there is an instant chat there and we can communicate through.

The third:

Krista,Just to make sure we are on the same page...sharing information about you; just simply share openly whatever you want me to know and ask away any questions and I will answer them. I like to try open, honest and straightforward approach...Along the way, a touch of romance might add spice to the conversation - even emails.Cheers,

Having not responded to those e-mails, I received a fourth one today:

I am hoping that you are alive and fine. please email me when you have a moment and we can communicate. better yet, call me. i am interested in speaking with you and learning and listening to you. Krista, have a good day.

HEEEEEEE'S BACK!

Krista,Hope you are doing well. I feel very sheepish writing this email..Regardless, I have good amount of respect for you to reach out to you.. wondering if you have time to try to connect with me.Thanks.

My god, now I almost feel like I have to respond. I feel bad for the guy. :(And it's not like we've even met or talked, so he can't be in a complete swoon over KristaCharm. Freaky.

I have a message in my inbox I can forward to you which will both give him the message and send him running if you want it. HTH

 

[Alias]

nigerian scammer?

 

[krista4]

Wow.

Put the poor guy out of his misery. Tell him you have a new boyfriend or husband or something.

I'd tell him I became a lesbian, but that might make him contact me even more.

 

[krista4]

OK, somewhat unrelated to iDating but relating to dating in general... Has the fact that I said was possibly, potentially, just a little smidgen open to the idea of dating again given off some sort of DatingSignal to the world? Within the past few days I've been contacted out of the blue by two guys I dated a little bit last summer/fall. My question to the board--why is this something guys seem to do so often? See, e.g., other instance of guy who contacted me a year later and I just got back in touch with---I have had this happen many, many other times as well. And before anyone suggest they're just looking for a shag, I'll report that I didn't sleep with any of them.

I was doing the Otis-style power-dating last summer and fall, with up to eight guys in play at any one time. These two are from that period of my dating life. Guy A - really liked him a lot, but both of us had recently gotten out of serious relationships and I didn't want to get into another one. I eventually stopped seeing him because I thought he needed to get over his last relationship more (he was too depressed about it). Guy B - liked him a lot as well, but at the time I was dating too many people to give him the focus he wanted. He was also doing some iDating at the time (though he and I met in a bar, not through iDating) and gave me what was basically a "right of first refusal" when he met someone he liked...I did not exercise the right of first refusal, and he got into a relationship with the other person. Anyway, I'm happy to hear from both of them since they were cool guys, but I just don't know why this happens so frequently.

ETA: It's not just me; seems to happen to lots of women. But doesn't really happen the other way--don't know of women doing this so much, but maybe they do?

 

[Alias]

it has always been feast or famine for me

 

[krista4]

OK, I decided to open eHarmony since I'm "working from home" today and wanted to make sure I cancel it before it auto-renews. Since I haven't been in there for a while, I have the usual assortment of responses and closed matches (primarily on the basis that "this match never responded to my request to communicate"--oops). Had the following answer to one of the questions we've discussed in the past:

5. Which of the following things would you rather have lots of?

A) respect

B) money

C) fame

D) power

E) Chihuahuas



I might actually have to stay in touch with this guy. Well, I'm assuming that was a joke, anyway...

 

[parasaurolophus]

OK, somewhat unrelated to iDating but relating to dating in general... Has the fact that I said was possibly, potentially, just a little smidgen open to the idea of dating again given off some sort of DatingSignal to the world? Within the past few days I've been contacted out of the blue by two guys I dated a little bit last summer/fall. My question to the board--why is this something guys seem to do so often? See, e.g., other instance of guy who contacted me a year later and I just got back in touch with---I have had this happen many, many other times as well. And before anyone suggest they're just looking for a shag, I'll report that I didn't sleep with any of them. I was doing the Otis-style power-dating last summer and fall, with up to eight guys in play at any one time. These two are from that period of my dating life. Guy A - really liked him a lot, but both of us had recently gotten out of serious relationships and I didn't want to get into another one. I eventually stopped seeing him because I thought he needed to get over his last relationship more (he was too depressed about it). Guy B - liked him a lot as well, but at the time I was dating too many people to give him the focus he wanted. He was also doing some iDating at the time (though he and I met in a bar, not through iDating) and gave me what was basically a "right of first refusal" when he met someone he liked...I did not exercise the right of first refusal, and he got into a relationship with the other person. Anyway, I'm happy to hear from both of them since they were cool guys, but I just don't know why this happens so frequently.ETA: It's not just me; seems to happen to lots of women. But doesn't really happen the other way--don't know of women doing this so much, but maybe they do?

men do this often.high fidelity is a movie kind of about this.

 

[krista4]

The guy who asked me this question closed the match for "other" (I answered "C", in case that wasn't clear):5. What is your opinion of traditional gender roles?A) I like traditional gender roles and want to be in a relationship that celebrates them. B) I would accept traditional gender roles if my partner were really interested in them. C) I'm not at all interested in traditional gender roles and want my mate and me to define our roles on our own. Dude, read my profile.Since I never contact anyone, I'm always the one that has to send the first open communication, which I keep short and breezy. Had the following message from a guy that I had sent the first open communication to a while back:

Whoa, slooow your roll... this ain't that hard. Trust me.You see, Krista, all we gotta do is exchange a few pleasantries. You get to laugh at my jokes and I get to figure out whether you're one of those psycho girls the Internet's littered with. ;-)Easy, right?

My reply:

Just to be clear, then...is this one of those jokes I'm supposed to be laughing at?

I expect a "close" any time now!

 

[Tremendous Upside]

gave me what was basically a "right of first refusal" when he met someone he liked.

You law talkin' woman you

 

[krista4]

OK, somewhat unrelated to iDating but relating to dating in general... Has the fact that I said was possibly, potentially, just a little smidgen open to the idea of dating again given off some sort of DatingSignal to the world? Within the past few days I've been contacted out of the blue by two guys I dated a little bit last summer/fall. My question to the board--why is this something guys seem to do so often? See, e.g., other instance of guy who contacted me a year later and I just got back in touch with---I have had this happen many, many other times as well. And before anyone suggest they're just looking for a shag, I'll report that I didn't sleep with any of them.

I was doing the Otis-style power-dating last summer and fall, with up to eight guys in play at any one time. These two are from that period of my dating life. Guy A - really liked him a lot, but both of us had recently gotten out of serious relationships and I didn't want to get into another one. I eventually stopped seeing him because I thought he needed to get over his last relationship more (he was too depressed about it). Guy B - liked him a lot as well, but at the time I was dating too many people to give him the focus he wanted. He was also doing some iDating at the time (though he and I met in a bar, not through iDating) and gave me what was basically a "right of first refusal" when he met someone he liked...I did not exercise the right of first refusal, and he got into a relationship with the other person. Anyway, I'm happy to hear from both of them since they were cool guys, but I just don't know why this happens so frequently.

ETA: It's not just me; seems to happen to lots of women. But doesn't really happen the other way--don't know of women doing this so much, but maybe they do?

men do this often.high fidelity is a movie kind of about this.

High Fidelity is one of my top-ten favorite books of all time. I get that. What I don't understand is why you guys do this?

 

[krista4]

gave me what was basically a "right of first refusal" when he met someone he liked.

You law talkin' woman you

 

[Tremendous Upside]

gave me what was basically a "right of first refusal" when he met someone he liked.

You law talkin' woman you

Why do guys do this stuff?Rule against perpetuities babe, rule against perpetuities..

 

[strykerpks]

When being contacted after a long time, I just figure I'm really memorable.

Serious answer: I wouldn't/don't find it strange or stalkerish at all. Happens a lot, actually, and I always have a positive (albeit sometimes delayed) response. If you decide to contact that woman, I don't think she's find it weird, and she likely would be pleasantly surprised.

As for why my anti-dating philosophy might be changing, it's primarily a result of falling madly in love with larryboy.

OK, somewhat unrelated to iDating but relating to dating in general... Has the fact that I said was possibly, potentially, just a little smidgen open to the idea of dating again given off some sort of DatingSignal to the world? Within the past few days I've been contacted out of the blue by two guys I dated a little bit last summer/fall. My question to the board--why is this something guys seem to do so often? See, e.g., other instance of guy who contacted me a year later and I just got back in touch with---I have had this happen many, many other times as well. And before anyone suggest they're just looking for a shag, I'll report that I didn't sleep with any of them.

I was doing the Otis-style power-dating last summer and fall, with up to eight guys in play at any one time. These two are from that period of my dating life. Guy A - really liked him a lot, but both of us had recently gotten out of serious relationships and I didn't want to get into another one. I eventually stopped seeing him because I thought he needed to get over his last relationship more (he was too depressed about it). Guy B - liked him a lot as well, but at the time I was dating too many people to give him the focus he wanted. He was also doing some iDating at the time (though he and I met in a bar, not through iDating) and gave me what was basically a "right of first refusal" when he met someone he liked...I did not exercise the right of first refusal, and he got into a relationship with the other person. Anyway, I'm happy to hear from both of them since they were cool guys, but I just don't know why this happens so frequently.

ETA: It's not just me; seems to happen to lots of women. But doesn't really happen the other way--don't know of women doing this so much, but maybe they do?

Did you answer your own question a little earlier?

 

[Kraft...]

OK, somewhat unrelated to iDating but relating to dating in general... Has the fact that I said was possibly, potentially, just a little smidgen open to the idea of dating again given off some sort of DatingSignal to the world? Within the past few days I've been contacted out of the blue by two guys I dated a little bit last summer/fall. My question to the board--why is this something guys seem to do so often? See, e.g., other instance of guy who contacted me a year later and I just got back in touch with---I have had this happen many, many other times as well. And before anyone suggest they're just looking for a shag, I'll report that I didn't sleep with any of them.

I was doing the Otis-style power-dating last summer and fall, with up to eight guys in play at any one time. These two are from that period of my dating life. Guy A - really liked him a lot, but both of us had recently gotten out of serious relationships and I didn't want to get into another one. I eventually stopped seeing him because I thought he needed to get over his last relationship more (he was too depressed about it). Guy B - liked him a lot as well, but at the time I was dating too many people to give him the focus he wanted. He was also doing some iDating at the time (though he and I met in a bar, not through iDating) and gave me what was basically a "right of first refusal" when he met someone he liked...I did not exercise the right of first refusal, and he got into a relationship with the other person. Anyway, I'm happy to hear from both of them since they were cool guys, but I just don't know why this happens so frequently.

ETA: It's not just me; seems to happen to lots of women. But doesn't really happen the other way--don't know of women doing this so much, but maybe they do?

men do this often.high fidelity is a movie kind of about this.

High Fidelity is one of my top-ten favorite books of all time. I get that. What I don't understand is why you guys do this?

You made a memorable impression. Yes, it could be that simple

 

[parasaurolophus]

OK, somewhat unrelated to iDating but relating to dating in general... Has the fact that I said was possibly, potentially, just a little smidgen open to the idea of dating again given off some sort of DatingSignal to the world? Within the past few days I've been contacted out of the blue by two guys I dated a little bit last summer/fall. My question to the board--why is this something guys seem to do so often? See, e.g., other instance of guy who contacted me a year later and I just got back in touch with---I have had this happen many, many other times as well. And before anyone suggest they're just looking for a shag, I'll report that I didn't sleep with any of them.

I was doing the Otis-style power-dating last summer and fall, with up to eight guys in play at any one time. These two are from that period of my dating life. Guy A - really liked him a lot, but both of us had recently gotten out of serious relationships and I didn't want to get into another one. I eventually stopped seeing him because I thought he needed to get over his last relationship more (he was too depressed about it). Guy B - liked him a lot as well, but at the time I was dating too many people to give him the focus he wanted. He was also doing some iDating at the time (though he and I met in a bar, not through iDating) and gave me what was basically a "right of first refusal" when he met someone he liked...I did not exercise the right of first refusal, and he got into a relationship with the other person. Anyway, I'm happy to hear from both of them since they were cool guys, but I just don't know why this happens so frequently.

ETA: It's not just me; seems to happen to lots of women. But doesn't really happen the other way--don't know of women doing this so much, but maybe they do?

men do this often.high fidelity is a movie kind of about this.

High Fidelity is one of my top-ten favorite books of all time. I get that. What I don't understand is why you guys do this?

You made a memorable impression. Yes, it could be that simple

maybe it is because the success rate with these girls for at least some things is actually pretty high.

 

[krista4]

OK, somewhat unrelated to iDating but relating to dating in general... Has the fact that I said was possibly, potentially, just a little smidgen open to the idea of dating again given off some sort of DatingSignal to the world? Within the past few days I've been contacted out of the blue by two guys I dated a little bit last summer/fall. My question to the board--why is this something guys seem to do so often? See, e.g., other instance of guy who contacted me a year later and I just got back in touch with---I have had this happen many, many other times as well. And before anyone suggest they're just looking for a shag, I'll report that I didn't sleep with any of them.

I was doing the Otis-style power-dating last summer and fall, with up to eight guys in play at any one time. These two are from that period of my dating life. Guy A - really liked him a lot, but both of us had recently gotten out of serious relationships and I didn't want to get into another one. I eventually stopped seeing him because I thought he needed to get over his last relationship more (he was too depressed about it). Guy B - liked him a lot as well, but at the time I was dating too many people to give him the focus he wanted. He was also doing some iDating at the time (though he and I met in a bar, not through iDating) and gave me what was basically a "right of first refusal" when he met someone he liked...I did not exercise the right of first refusal, and he got into a relationship with the other person. Anyway, I'm happy to hear from both of them since they were cool guys, but I just don't know why this happens so frequently.

ETA: It's not just me; seems to happen to lots of women. But doesn't really happen the other way--don't know of women doing this so much, but maybe they do?

men do this often.high fidelity is a movie kind of about this.

High Fidelity is one of my top-ten favorite books of all time. I get that. What I don't understand is why you guys do this?

You made a memorable impression. Yes, it could be that simple

maybe it is because the success rate with these girls for at least some things is actually pretty high.

Huh?

 

[Woz]

OK, somewhat unrelated to iDating but relating to dating in general... Has the fact that I said was possibly, potentially, just a little smidgen open to the idea of dating again given off some sort of DatingSignal to the world? Within the past few days I've been contacted out of the blue by two guys I dated a little bit last summer/fall. My question to the board--why is this something guys seem to do so often? See, e.g., other instance of guy who contacted me a year later and I just got back in touch with---I have had this happen many, many other times as well. And before anyone suggest they're just looking for a shag, I'll report that I didn't sleep with any of them. I was doing the Otis-style power-dating last summer and fall, with up to eight guys in play at any one time. These two are from that period of my dating life. Guy A - really liked him a lot, but both of us had recently gotten out of serious relationships and I didn't want to get into another one. I eventually stopped seeing him because I thought he needed to get over his last relationship more (he was too depressed about it). Guy B - liked him a lot as well, but at the time I was dating too many people to give him the focus he wanted. He was also doing some iDating at the time (though he and I met in a bar, not through iDating) and gave me what was basically a "right of first refusal" when he met someone he liked...I did not exercise the right of first refusal, and he got into a relationship with the other person. Anyway, I'm happy to hear from both of them since they were cool guys, but I just don't know why this happens so frequently.ETA: It's not just me; seems to happen to lots of women. But doesn't really happen the other way--don't know of women doing this so much, but maybe they do?

I think it's two-fold: we get horny often and they're probably both in dry spells so their minds drift of enjoyable but unfinished past relationships with women... I'd say it's a good thing as it means they liked you and want to restart something. I also agree that men and women are different in this respect. Men, if they actually like the girl, will probably always have that feeling and those memories and the relationship is never officially "over." Women, while I'd say their feelings are a bit deeper when they have them, seem to be able to flip some switch in their brains where they put a guy, even one they liked, out of their minds for good.

 

[Keys Myaths]

Alright, time for an actual update.

Haven't dated in about two and a half weeks, trying to basically get my head on straight at work, but today has been the worst day of them all. There were two people on my "team" before we started, and now there's five. The two seem to be blackballing us, and it takes too much time/energy trying to combat that.

I don't know if you guys remember the story about the girl I've been "seeing" off/on ever since my ex-fiancee and I broke up. She's the redhead in that picture of me in the underground. Anyway, she wrote on my Facebook wall again today, and we have been in talks of me going back for Homecoming, and staying at her house--all that good ####.

We've hooked up several, several times (obviously, no relationship), including the day after I broke up with PsychoEx. The biggest problem--she's had a boyfriend/serious relationship each time. She has never told me, we've never talked about the two guys she dated in the process, but I've ####ed up both those relationships (she's still dating the second guy), and I've decided today that I'm done being that guy. Call me Woz, whatever you want, but I'm at the point where I'm done with the pretending/lying/etc, even though it's really on her end.

I have decided I'm ready for something more serious. I'm not going to seek it out, but I'm not going to keep throwing it away every time it could happen like I usually do. Obviously, I'm still on my hard stance against marriage, but as far as a more serious relationship--it'll be a year since my last one on my birthday (the 29th). I think I'm okay to move forward now.

With that said, this is my "goodbye" letter. iDating just doesn't work for me...I haven't met a single girl in 4-5 months that I'd ever consider having anything serious with. The stories were fun, but now, it's just a drag, because the crazy is so evident before I even start anymore. At my age, it's true--the women on there are usually severely ####ed up somehow. It's not for me.

I wish all of you the best of luck, and I hope you all get whatever it is you're searching for.

 

[strykerpks]

Best of luck to ya Keys!

 

[Woz]

Best of luck to ya Keys!

He's right though, they're all crazy.

 

[Woz]

Update just from tonight with my date with this girl: http://meetme.hotornot.com/?mp=1&state...=1&rand=582

Went to a trendy bar to meet her. I was a couple minutes late and when I get to the lobby I see this stunning blonde standing by herself obviously waiting for someone. Gorgeous. I can't really tell if it's her so I send a text and right afterwards I see her reach for her phone and check a recent text. I smile, head over and ask if her name is Jen. She smiles but shakes her head. Simultaneously another blonde walks through the door, the hot or not girl. I look over and . This sounds bad, but she was pretty overweight and had crooked teeth. She says hi in a loud and boisterous way and say how she's happy to meet me and all that - drawing lots of attention and making it pretty obvious it was a blind date and drawing a few snickers. I recommend we go grab some coffee instead (the bar was insanely full). Gorgeous blonde gives me a "that sucks" smile and smirk. I have some coffee with her girl, hear all about how her ex took her dog, and now here I am at home. She wasn't overly annoying, and if she were to lose about 25 lbs. she would be pretty cute (which is a shame), but nothing was there.

Things to learn:

No body shot = overweight

Girls always, always put their best pictures on the net. It's borderline false advertising.

Drinks are definitely the way to go. No way I could have sat through a long dinner or felt good about spending money I really don't have on it.

Girls on the internet are all insane. I'm 4-4 with finding some wacky girls.

 

[strykerpks]

Update just from tonight with my date with this girl: http://meetme.hotornot.com/?mp=1&state...=1&rand=582

Went to a trendy bar to meet her. I was a couple minutes late and when I get to the lobby I see this stunning blonde standing by herself obviously waiting for someone. Gorgeous. I can't really tell if it's her so I send a text and right afterwards I see her reach for her phone and check a recent text. I smile, head over and ask if her name is Jen. She smiles but shakes her head. Simultaneously another blonde walks through the door, the hot or not girl. I look over and . This sounds bad, but she was pretty overweight and had crooked teeth. She says hi in a loud and boisterous way and say how she's happy to meet me and all that - drawing lots of attention and making it pretty obvious it was a blind date and drawing a few snickers. I recommend we go grab some coffee instead (the bar was insanely full). Gorgeous blonde gives me a "that sucks" smile and smirk. I have some coffee with her girl, hear all about how her ex took her dog, and now here I am at home. She wasn't overly annoying, and if she were to lose about 25 lbs. she would be pretty cute (which is a shame), but nothing was there.

Things to learn:

No body shot = overweight

Girls always, always put their best pictures on the net. It's borderline false advertising.

Drinks are definitely the way to go. No way I could have sat through a long dinner or felt good about spending money I really don't have on it.

Girls on the internet are all insane. I'm 4-4 with finding some wacky girls.

Wow. Thanks for the heads up.

 

[Alias]

Am I the only one that is turned off by a photo of a girl with big gums when they smile?

 

[Woz]

Update just from tonight with my date with this girl: http://meetme.hotornot.com/?mp=1&state...=1&rand=582

Went to a trendy bar to meet her. I was a couple minutes late and when I get to the lobby I see this stunning blonde standing by herself obviously waiting for someone. Gorgeous. I can't really tell if it's her so I send a text and right afterwards I see her reach for her phone and check a recent text. I smile, head over and ask if her name is Jen. She smiles but shakes her head. Simultaneously another blonde walks through the door, the hot or not girl. I look over and . This sounds bad, but she was pretty overweight and had crooked teeth. She says hi in a loud and boisterous way and say how she's happy to meet me and all that - drawing lots of attention and making it pretty obvious it was a blind date and drawing a few snickers. I recommend we go grab some coffee instead (the bar was insanely full). Gorgeous blonde gives me a "that sucks" smile and smirk. I have some coffee with her girl, hear all about how her ex took her dog, and now here I am at home. She wasn't overly annoying, and if she were to lose about 25 lbs. she would be pretty cute (which is a shame), but nothing was there.

Things to learn:

No body shot = overweight

Girls always, always put their best pictures on the net. It's borderline false advertising.

Drinks are definitely the way to go. No way I could have sat through a long dinner or felt good about spending money I really don't have on it.

Girls on the internet are all insane. I'm 4-4 with finding some wacky girls.

Wow. Thanks for the heads up.

least she didn't bring any kids, bud

 

[Sister Havana]

And I just got a message from cool message guy!

Last night I found an interesting profile from a guy who wrote about how he was a big Cubs fan in his profile, and wanted someone who can stand the torment of being a Cubs fan with him. Of course I had to write to him, given how Dempster made the last inning of the game last night waaaaay too interesting. We'll see if he answers. (Remember, I haven't had much luck with the guys I've contacted first!)

 

[Disco Stu]

To quote my good buddy Homer J, "my penis hurts and I'm exhausted."

 

[Sister Havana]

So I actually talked to cool message guy on the phone today. (he has a nice voice!) Turns out he lives right near where a friend of mine used to live. Assuming the reception I am going to does not go too late, we are going to try to meet tonight.

 

[Sister Havana]

I did end up meeting up with cool message guy last night. Wow. It went very well - I really want to see him again!

 

[Woz]

I did end up meeting up with cool message guy last night. Wow. It went very well - I really want to see him again!

 

[Alias]

time to have some fun - I have a couple open communications going with eHarmony and about 50 others in various stages (mostly at the first step). So I wanted to have a little fun with my latest match, she is pretty cute, but I wouldn't be devastated if she couldn't take a joke...

1. How often do you lose your temper?

A) practically never

B) once in a while

C) on occasion during a week

D) probably once a day on average

E) Every 3rd Thursday of the month

2. When in a relationship, how much personal space do you generally find you need?

A) I don't have a great need for "personal space". I like lots of together time.

B) I find my time spent working is enough personal time, the rest I like to spend with my partner.

C) As long as I can get one night a week to myself, my personal space needs are met.

D) When I'm with my partner I'm completely there, but I do need considerable time for personal reflection.

E) 10 cubic meters

3. On Saturday night, would you rather go to:

A) ballet/theater/symphony

B) a professional sporting event

C) a popular new movie

D) the latest dance club

E) A nice dinner and then either a comedy club or a pub with live music (I had to give her one real answer)

4. Would you rather date someone who is:

A) very busy, with a sometimes chaotic schedule, who books time with you in advance

B) busy, with a structured schedule, you know what days the person will be available for fun

C) slightly busy, who works during the day and is available most nights

D) not busy and has lots of free time

E) between not busy and busy not bossy but ok if busty

5. Which of the following things would you rather have lots of?

A) respect

B) money

C) fame

D) power

E) Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

 

[Disco Stu]

Plentoffish has a new test that's kind of interesting - "Seduction Style"

Here's the summary it came up with along with a few other tidbits that sounded correct...

Stu is not necessarily promiscuous or lacks standards, but the overall answer patterns suggest that Stu is exceedingly sensitive to the psychological and physical elements of romance and passion, even to the point they, at times, may lack impulse control. People like this tend to love life with zeal, often living in the moment and trying not to let experiences pass them by, with many having engaged in a wider range of sexual behaviors, sometimes with a number of different partners. Someone like this is bound to be gregarious and flirtatious in public, becoming extremely sensual and wildly uninhibited behind closed doors. In fact, these individuals are amongst the most passionate of people when the timing is right.

These individuals love to flirt – and with just about anyone. Don’t assume that Stu, who may be a bit neurotic or narcissistic in nature, is 100% into you and only you.

I got ribbed a little by my date the other night about the (very cute, young and blonde) waitress flirting with me.

Don’t assume that Stu just cares about physical pleasure or living in the moment, despite a reputation of becoming bored or tiring easily, especially once the chase has cooled.

Bottom Line: While this type can be into all sorts of high stimuli, becoming easily aroused, don’t assume that their ability to realize their highest sexual self on a physical level translates into being able to do that on an emotional or spiritual level in the boudoir, If this is what you’re after you may be disappointed. Rather allow yourself to be allured, recognizing that much of what they do is based on their need to be pleased, their desire to be liked and loved, their need to impress, and a deep-seated vulnerability when it comes to being intimate with another.

One’s overall sexual personality reflects two core meta-traits that experts traditionally refer to as Alpha and Beta. With respect to sexual motivations, Alpha concerns intimacy and affiliation, and Beta concerns power or dominance. This means that those scoring high on Alpha typically approach sex as a means to an end – such as strengthening an attachment or deepening intimacy with a lover. Those scoring high on Beta tend to regard sex as its own reward.

Stu scored lower on Alpha and higher on Beta, so we call this profile a “Tiger.” Tigers tend to push sexual boundaries – theirs and others. For them, sex is more an outlet for adult play and physical pleasure than it is merely a way to express love and admiration for a partner. Tigers do not necessarily use sex as a means to get closer to a lover or to solidify the relationship, Their focus is more that of enjoying pursuit and capture, and taking the lead on how to passionately play with their “victim,” helpless to their invigorating sexual energy and wiles.

 

[Alias]

no close - on to 2nd questions...

1. Oh no, not another lawyer! (kidding) Nice to meet you Nikki, why did you join eHarmony? Some of my best friends are lawyers - REALLY!

2. Your dog and a complete stranger are drowning and you can only save one, which one do you save and why?

3. What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?

 

[Alias]

I think I know the answer to #2...

The things Nikki can't live without are:

* My dog

* My friends and family

* Books

* Music

 

[Alias]

I thought the dog / stranger poll was just made up, didn't realize it was a Christian test/thing:

http://apolonio.blogspot.com/2006/03/musin...rld-part-3.html

 

[larry_boy_44]

I thought the dog / stranger poll was just made up, didn't realize it was a Christian test/thing:

http://apolonio.blogspot.com/2006/03/musin...rld-part-3.html

I've only heard of it on the board here...

 

[krista4]

no close - on to 2nd questions...1. Oh no, not another lawyer! (kidding) Nice to meet you Nikki, why did you join eHarmony? Some of my best friends are lawyers - REALLY!2. Your dog and a complete stranger are drowning and you can only save one, which one do you save and why?3. What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?

Love the way you're going through this one. I especially liked the "10 cubic meters" answer.

 

[Jabroniking]

I took the test...and wow Stu...we have alot in common....lol.

Jabroniking is not necessarily promiscuous or lacks standards, but the overall answer patterns suggest that Jabroniking is exceedingly sensitive to the psychological and physical elements of romance and passion, even to the point they, at times, may lack impulse control. People like this tend to love life with zeal, often living in the moment and trying not to let experiences pass them by, with many having engaged in a wider range of sexual behaviors, sometimes with a number of different partners. Someone like this is bound to be gregarious and flirtatious in public, becoming extremely sensual and wildly uninhibited behind closed doors. In fact, these individuals are amongst the most passionate of people when the timing is right.

Uninhibited nature. Fun, fun-loving, and provocative, this type is very adventurous and erotophilic, open to trying new things, with many “closeted kinks” when it comes to sexual experimentation.Lust for the sensual and the act of seduction. Not to be stigmatized as players necessarily, this sort loves anything that entertains their intellect, including the sexual, and that involves pleasure, including the potential for even greater pleasure.Their sensitivity and moodiness. A bit theatrical at times, and not afraid to express themselves in many ways, this sort will always keep you entertained, amusing woo’ers who know how to handle it.Jabroniking may well push your own boundaries or comfort level. So… Don’t engage in anything you may regret, whether it’s too soon, too risqué, or too… Do show tolerance and maintain a healthy sense of adventure.

You may be tempted to be as impulsive as Jabroniking can sometimes be. So… Don’t give into any manipulation or even aggressive tactics that this sort can try to employ in getting the upper hand or having their way. Do fight that urge. Playing a little “hard to get” and pacing your interactions can actually heighten arousal and desire.

wow....I'm a jerk!

These individuals love to flirt – and with just about anyone. Don’t assume that Jabroniking, who may be a bit neurotic or narcissistic in nature, is 100% into you and only you. Do let Jabroniking know what constitutes proper flirting to you and where you need to draw your boundaries in getting involved with someone.Many long for monogamous, long-term relationships. Don’t assume that Jabroniking just cares about physical pleasure or living in the moment, despite a reputation of becoming bored or tiring easily, especially once the chase has cooled.

Bottom Line: While this type can be into all sorts of high stimuli, becoming easily aroused, don’t assume that their ability to realize their highest sexual self on a physical level translates into being able to do that on an emotional or spiritual level in the boudoir, If this is what you’re after you may be disappointed. Rather allow yourself to be allured, recognizing that much of what they do is based on their need to be pleased, their desire to be liked and loved, their need to impress, and a deep-seated vulnerability when it comes to being intimate with another.Jabroniking’s answer patterns suggest there should be a good response to someone whose attitude or temperament is downright effervescent. Bottom Line: Show off – even exude – the side of you that is high energy and even a little wild. Jabroniking wants to see your sense of humor, creativity and intelligence as well as a positive attitude throughout your words and actions.Jabroniking scored high on Alpha and high on Beta, so we call this profile a “Serpent.” These sensation-seekers are not necessarily sex fiends, but they can be somewhat open-minded and exploratory when it comes to sexual expression. For them, sex is often a transcendent experience through which they feel unparalleled pleasure that comes from all of the sensations of an intense emotional and physical connection with a partner, with many uncoiling their innermost sexual energy for a cosmic sexual experience. The dominance this type sometimes portrays in the bedroom is one meant for mutual pleasuring – for the greater good of the relationship and connection – than one of selfish gratification. Sexual pleasuring is a celebration of the relationship and amongst a union’s highest priorities.

I guess I'm good in bed!!!!

 

[Drifter]

Second one: the guy requested fast-track and I said fine; he sent me his e-mail address, and I told him I'd send a message when I had a chance. So I did (one day later, which is very fast for me), and then got three messages from him in succession. The first was inviting me to gmail chat. The second:

Krista,It would be a lie to not tell you that I have been waiting a bit for your email. When I read your profile, it was a bit comical, considering you were matched-up with your ex in your prior stinct with eHarmony. I am attracted to educated, professional and "worldy" women in general and it is no wonder, I reached out to you. Thank you for your compliments. I do believe in giving especially to my partner to be and loved ones in my family and people in general. I was not always like this. I have been selfish, arrogant and self-centered. Then my son came along, divorce happened, and I simply grew-up. If you want honesty, this is it. My job - I am an enterprise software sales manager for a software company based out of San Diego and I am here in Chicago. I work with a well known entrepreneur and my role is primarily to sell, plan and strategize our products and position our ecosystem vision and articulate it to fortune 500 companies. I many ways, I shape the market especially with complex web applications. I do complex deals and work with cios and coos of companies like ADP, reynolds, Sabre, JP Morgan, etc. I also deal with Software as a Service market companies who are in business to provide real time on demand solutions to other companies.My son is Tristan. Matter of fact, he is sitting and watching cartoons. He is a darling. I love my boy. We do a lot of thigns together. Might be worth talking about him on the phone. My Divine Mother ... She is my Mother and guiding light. Please visit this site below...www.sriaurobindosociety.org.inI just bought my first condo. Here are some sample pics. I invited you to join gmail and there is an instant chat there and we can communicate through.

The third:

Krista,Just to make sure we are on the same page...sharing information about you; just simply share openly whatever you want me to know and ask away any questions and I will answer them. I like to try open, honest and straightforward approach...Along the way, a touch of romance might add spice to the conversation - even emails.Cheers,

Having not responded to those e-mails, I received a fourth one today:

I am hoping that you are alive and fine. please email me when you have a moment and we can communicate. better yet, call me. i am interested in speaking with you and learning and listening to you. Krista, have a good day.

HEEEEEEE'S BACK!

Krista,Hope you are doing well. I feel very sheepish writing this email..Regardless, I have good amount of respect for you to reach out to you.. wondering if you have time to try to connect with me.Thanks.

My god, now I almost feel like I have to respond. I feel bad for the guy. :(And it's not like we've even met or talked, so he can't be in a complete swoon over KristaCharm. Freaky.

Wow. Put the poor guy out of his misery. Tell him you have a new boyfriend or husband or something.

Send him one firm "No, not interested" email. He is showing many of the earmarks of a stalker. Anything less than a no (with no excuses like, "I'm not interested in a relationship right now") will illicit further communication from him. If he responds to your no, use the block feature and stop responding.

 

[Sister Havana]

Wow, I'm right there with Stu and Jabroniking!

Sister Havana is not necessarily promiscuous or lacks standards, but the overall answer patterns suggest that Sister Havana is exceedingly sensitive to the psychological and physical elements of romance and passion, even to the point they, at times, may lack impulse control. People like this tend to love life with zeal, often living in the moment and trying not to let experiences pass them by, with many having engaged in a wider range of sexual behaviors, sometimes with a number of different partners. Someone like this is bound to be gregarious and flirtatious in public, becoming extremely sensual and wildly uninhibited behind closed doors. In fact, these individuals are amongst the most passionate of people when the timing is right.

• Lust for the sensual and the act of seduction. Not to be stigmatized as players necessarily, this sort loves anything that entertains their intellect, including the sexual, and that involves pleasure, including the potential for even greater pleasure.• Ability to be fabulous, hopeless flirts. Whether coy, up for ### for tat discourse, or clever in dishing out the flattery, this sort is alluring in their ability to be suggestive and fearless in expressing interest.• Their sensitivity and moodiness. A bit theatrical at times, and not afraid to express themselves in many ways, this sort will always keep you entertained, amusing woo’ers who know how to handle it.

Very true.

It can be easy for someone like Sister Havana to fall in love. So… Don’t get carried away and “dive in” with them, no matter how hard this is not to do! Many are only open initially, yet withdraw once someone gets “too close,” despite their desire to be more emotionally involved for the long-term. Do choose your words and actions wisely. Do what you say and say what you mean.

The first and last two sentences...definitely.

These individuals love to flirt – and with just about anyone. Don’t assume that Sister Havana, who may be a bit neurotic or narcissistic in nature, is 100% into you and only you. Do let Sister Havana know what constitutes proper flirting to you and where you need to draw your boundaries in getting involved with someone.

I'm MUCH closer to neurotic than narcissistic!!

Generally speaking, Sister Havana prefers communicating with someone online at least four days to a week before meeting them offline. Therefore, Sister Havana may well want to talk to friends about you and get their feedback. Or, Sister Havana may well be trying not to get too caught up in the moment. Allow this person some time and space before pushing to meet.Sister Havana’s answer patterns suggest there should be a good response to someone whose attitude or temperament is downright effervescent. Bottom Line: Show off – even exude – the side of you that is high energy and even a little wild. Sister Havana wants to see your sense of humor, creativity and intelligence as well as a positive attitude throughout your words and actions.Assuming the first date goes well, Sister Havana may take it as far as going with the flow. However, this doesn’t mean that you should have great expectations, so remain classy, respectful and let the mood develop naturally and gradually.

This pretty much nails it.

One’s overall sexual personality reflects two core meta-traits that experts traditionally refer to as Alpha and Beta. With respect to sexual motivations, Alpha concerns intimacy and affiliation, and Beta concerns power or dominance. This means that those scoring high on Alpha typically approach sex as a means to an end – such as strengthening an attachment or deepening intimacy with a lover. Those scoring high on Beta tend to regard sex as its own reward.Sister Havana scored lower on Alpha and higher on Beta, so we call this profile a “Tiger.” Tigers tend to push sexual boundaries – theirs and others. For them, sex is more an outlet for adult play and physical pleasure than it is merely a way to express love and admiration for a partner. Tigers do not necessarily use sex as a means to get closer to a lover or to solidify the relationship, Their focus is more that of enjoying pursuit and capture, and taking the lead on how to passionately play with their “victim,” helpless to their invigorating sexual energy and wiles.

Wooo! I'm officially a tiger in the sack! ETA: I'm apparently the female version of Stu. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

 

[djcolts]

I finally had that date with the woman that postponed on me twice. We met at Starbucks. It lasted an hour, and it felt a lot longer - so no 2nd date here. Nice woman, just not compatible with me.

However, even though not idating related, I think I've met someone with some promise through my singles activity group. We've done a few things together within a group setting, and I think there's some chemistry there. On Sunday, we're going to the same drawing class at the local art center, then going out to dinner afterwards. I guess I'll find out if I'm right soon enough.

 

[Sister Havana]

By the way, my message to the guy I made first contact with the other day - Read Deleted. My record remains unblemished at a perfect 0 for all.

 

[Jabroniking]

*Walks back into the thread and bestows his coolness upon the others and hangs out for a bit.*



(BUMP!)

 

[parasaurolophus]

*Walks back into the thread and bestows his coolness upon the others and hangs out for a bit.* (BUMP!)

what does this mean?

 

[Jabroniking]

Just bumping the thread up and getting it ready for Krista to post something cool.

 

[krista4]

Just bumping the thread up and getting it ready for Krista to post something cool.

:completelylackingincoolnesstoday:Jabroni, how are things going with your girl???

 

[Jabroniking]

Just bumping the thread up and getting it ready for Krista to post something cool.

:completelylackingincoolnesstoday:Jabroni, how are things going with your girl???

Things are going well actually. We have gone out about four times and she came over to my place once or twice. I told her that I think it would be best if we slow things down a bit (what was I thinking?) in regards to the physical stuff, but let's just say I can't keep the girl off me at times.....I think she just likes me for my body....j/k.I like where things are at with our relationship right now. We're still in that beginning stage of a relationship where you feel all excited on the inside and can't wait to see each other. I truly enjoy spending time with her. We obviously have already made a physical connection with one another, but I have been pleasantly suprised to learn how much we have in common....ir similar personalities, likes, dislikes, etc. All in all...so far so good. Things aren't completely serious yet, but they seem to be heading that way and for the first time in my life....I'm not going to fight it.

 

[Woz]

Just bumping the thread up and getting it ready for Krista to post something cool.

:completelylackingincoolnesstoday:Jabroni, how are things going with your girl???

Things are going well actually. We have gone out about four times and she came over to my place once or twice. I told her that I think it would be best if we slow things down a bit (what was I thinking?) in regards to the physical stuff, but let's just say I can't keep the girl off me at times.....I think she just likes me for my body....j/k.I like where things are at with our relationship right now. We're still in that beginning stage of a relationship where you feel all excited on the inside and can't wait to see each other. I truly enjoy spending time with her. We obviously have already made a physical connection with one another, but I have been pleasantly suprised to learn how much we have in common....ir similar personalities, likes, dislikes, etc. All in all...so far so good. Things aren't completely serious yet, but they seem to be heading that way and for the first time in my life....I'm not going to fight it.

Best advice I can give you man: stay where you're at in this stage for as long as possible. I regret many things about my last relationship, but moving things along too fast (moving in together, talking about marriage and kids, discussing future jobs, making sure we hit each other's families evenly, etc.) instead of simply enjoying the feeling of being with one another and the whole newness feeling. It'll go away, but make it stay as long as possible because #### you'll miss it or possibly even forget it.

 

[parasaurolophus]

so do women really much care if you have dated one of their friends?

I am guessing there isnt the same loyalty issues there, yesno?

 

[krista4]

so do women really much care if you have dated one of their friends?I am guessing there isnt the same loyalty issues there, yesno?