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*** OFFICIAL *** FFA WAGERING THREAD - Merry Christmas!!! (9 Viewers)

If you ask me, foreplay is for someone who lost his pinkie or his thumb, because if you have five fingers you should be practicing fiveplay.

Foreplay doesn't have to be expensive either. Obviously, you could take your lady to a fancy restaurant and spend a whole lot of money - I'm sure that would get you some dinner ### - but trust me, there's a better way. I have a move that I call the "Birthday Trick." Take your lady to one of those chain restaurants, like a Chili's or a Red Lobster or a Cheesecake Factory, and secretly tell your waiter that it's your lady's birthday. Places like that make a big deal over birthdays. They make their whole damn staff gather 'round and sing a birthday song. You'll notice I said "birthday song" and not "Happy Birthday" because they don't sing the traditional "Happy Birthday" - they create their own #### complete with clapping and stomping and whatnot. To be honest, it's kind of crazy; you wind up sitting there wondering why they don't just sing the regular song or at least the Stevie Wonder version. I mean, what, they couldn't get the rights? Is it a pride thing?

Anyway, you'll be sitting there with your lady, and all of a sudden they'll come over chanting and stomping, carrying a piece of cake with a sparkler sticking out that looks like one of those cartoon sticks of dynamite in it. It's a spectacle, like when someone orders Bottle Service in the VIP section at a hot club. As that mob approaches and your lady realizes that they are coming for her, she will begin to try and tell them it's not her birthday. At which point, put two fingers on her lips and give her a "Shhhh." That simple, cool act by you will put a sly smile on her face. And as you share that free piece of cake (those places give you gigantic pieces of cake for free on birthdays), the two of you lovers will enjoy a secret glance, knowing that you are getting over on the man.

Later on that night, call her "the birthday girl" and ask to see her "birthday suit." She'll giggle and say something like, "You know it's not my birthday." To which you reply, "Every day is your birthday." Right there, it's a wrap - you might have to splint your Johnson to handle the evening you have ahead of you! And as if getting some great sex out of the deal isn't enough, that birthday covers you the next time you forget her actual birthday.

Black, Leon. The Book of Leon: Philosophy of a Fool (Kindle Locations 577-587). Gallery Books. Kindle Edition.
 
Happy for the Spartans win over the weekend but they didn't need to embarrass Barkley like that. 

Mayfield now the clubhouse leader for Heisman

 
Aaron Jones o67.5 +100

Tate o5 -160

Jones o3.5 -145

abdullah u70.5 r&r -140

Hard to touch anything on the GB side for me

 
Aaron Jonesunder73.5rushing-1135D

Marvin Jonesover3.5receptions-145BOL

Aaron Jonesunder17.5rush atmp-1105D

Golden Tate under6receptions-125

Marvin Jonesover4receptions-115

 
swirvenirvin said:
Aaron Jonesunder73.5rushing-1135D

Marvin Jonesover3.5receptions-145BOL

Aaron Jonesunder17.5rush atmp-1105D

Golden Tate under6receptions-125

Marvin Jonesover4receptions-115
Click to expand...
MArvin Jones over twice? fine I'm in

 
ChainsawU said:
Now 27-6-1 O/U since 2003; Lions fit into it this week. However, McCarthy & the Pack d-up pretty good after the bye: 9-2 SU and ATS with a 3-8 O/U in that spot (0-8 O/U scoring < 34). I'm waiting until Monday. Everyone and their dog has jumped on Detroit so far, and it's obvious that it's because of GB QB. However, Detroit is trying to go from SNF to MNF in a week's time - while McCarthy and them are coming off the bye week.

Going from SNF to MNF isn't easy, and it's only happened six times since 2005 that your opponent is coming off the bye - plus they're on the road! The teams coming off the bye went 6-0 SU and ATS (against an average line of +2) (!). I am making sure I don't have plans Monday night, because I want to be able to watch this one in its entirety. Pack for me for sure, with a lean to the over. It will be like waiting for Christmas, but I'm waiting until Monday to lock it in. I want Pack +3 and o45 (or better). It's possible. Both of those are possible.
Click to expand...
I took GB +3 -125 and over 42.5.

 
Only one coach has more wins against another team like that since then; Belichick versus the Bills (19 SU wins since 2006).

 
actually fells at 3300 is great value too at 5dimes he's 1200 everywhere else

and 5dimes just cut me on these...

 
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Lumpy you beautiful *******.  I hit that one everywhere I could.  

Edit:  only had about $100 total on it but still :moneybag:

 
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