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***OFFICIAL WIKKIDPISSAH STORY THREAD*** (1 Viewer)

JAA said:
wikkidpissah said:
JAA said:
wikkidpissah said:
JAA said:
wikkidpissah said:
i was a hippie backinaday so i seen a lotta random nakedidity, but one image of it (besides Jimmy Carter's penis) stays burned in my mind almost forty yrs later. I was a runaway & used to live in the scorekeeper's booth at a municipal ballpark on the Monterrey Peninsula. One day, a theater troupe was doing some kinda spontaneous art thing on the street & i kinda fell in with them. they invited me to party with them in their house on Cannery Row (i eventually built sets for them in exchange for sleeping backstage at their little theater). Anyways....I passed out on a couch after the party, happy for the indoor quarters for the night. At dawn, I woke up in one of those tripped-out hazes and, when I focused my eyes, i noticed a pretty girl, 16 maybe 17, standing naked at the window looking out. when she turned, i realised she was maybe a coupla wks away from dropping a kid. it seems like an hour i stared at what was easily the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen, her hippiegirl hair cascading down her shoulders and over that ginormous nekkid belly. i can see it as clearly, closing my eyes now, as i did in 1971. matter of fact - thx for the opportunity to revisit it. mmmm....
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you need to tell more stories
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that was a helluva time. i knocked up an italian girl in boston when i was 15 & her brothers wanted to kill me so i had to run away. spent a year & a half on the road, crisscrossed the country a coupla dozen times and got ten times the education (esp. during that time) i would have in school. monterrey was just too cool (there was a downtown theater we useta sneak into to hear the soundchecks of all the great bay area bands that played there) to waste time with a job so, when i needed to eat, i'd go out to the 101 & hitch back-and-forth from there to SF cuz tourist families would buy me a meal at Denny's to hear my stories of what bein a hippie was like. see, i was even tellin em back then....
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Do I have to buy you denny's? Do you see your kid at all?
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used to watch my son (now 37) play cuz my auntie lived two doors down from his mom's folks. patted him on the head onceas he walked by with a bunch of kids & can still feel his scalp on my hands. havent seen him since he was 14. his mom got married off b4 she delivered and, to my knowledge, they are still married. i'm told my son runs a coupla garages/chopshops on the south shore of boston. sidebar: to give u an idea how lethal the brothers who chased me were, about 15 yrs after this, one of em blew his brains out in his car after a 5-city chase cuz he had a lb of blow & a dead 19yo girl in his trunk.u gotta buy me denny's if we meet but, til then, my stories are free. which do u want: keith richards? the headlines in wyoming declaring me as wanted for ADW? my audition at SNL? jimmy carter's penis? i got a bunch -
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Im heading into Boston tonight. Want me to stop by? Does he know his FIL is not his real father? His mom married at 16?Go ahead with Keith Richards
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wikkidpissah said:
i had kind of an interesting relationship with a stripper once. shortly after my wife & i broke up, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. she declined treatment & embraced her could-be-wks-could-be-months prognosis. in the greatest of life's cruelties that i've ever witnessed, she hung on for 2 1/2 yrs of awful pain & misery. because she'd been a party girl & party friends arent loyal friends, i ended up becoming her default caretaker. i would deal poker 2-3 nights a wk (doin my playin & partyin between shifts - thx to modern stayin-awake technologies), collapse for halfaday, then go over to the ex's to take care of her. not a lot of time/space for relationships.anyways - at the end of a 3-day jag, i stopped by a tittie bar on the way home (cuz nuttin chills off a jag like some #######). i was nursin a beer at the bar, when a voice whispers into the back of my head "pretend u dont know me". after a bit, i turn around & recognize one of the girls doing table dances as a gal who'd dealt poker at my store for a short while. the night manager hired a lotta cute chix as break-in dealers with hopes of reciprocation. when this girl didnt, he became a real stalkin ##### & her no-account boyfriend talked her into quittin & suein the place. sexual harrassment wasnt as clearly defined in those days & the suit went nowhere & her boyfriend left her to go back to LA.so strippin was what she was doin while she waited for another dealin job. i took a table & she made her way to me. she asked me if i wanted a couch dance, i told her i wasnt a couch dance guy & she said, "oh, you'll want this couch dance". sure enough, i got the couch dance of a lifetime - all the while she's telling me how grateful she was for how nice i'd been to her at work (i had worked with her on her dealing & tried to intervene when her boss was hasslin her). she slipped me her number b4 i left, so i called her and we went out a coupla times and she did the sex on me, but she was almost 20 yrs younger than me & my time was precious so it didnt work out & that was that.a few months later, i stopped by the place she worked &, while she was couchdancin me, i got an idea. i asked her furtively if she'd ever thought of selling her favors outside of work. she said she didnt do that kinda thing. i pressed the point & asked her what she made a night (it wasnt a topdrawer joint) and wouldnt she take me home if i matched that. she needed the dough & already knew the work werent half bad and actually said she'd do it for less than my offer. from then on, i'd call her whenever i needed a hit&run, even after she'd found a dealin job. kept me goin thru most of the time of my wife's decline - no muss, no fuss, no havin to make the scene to get a lil strange. i still think of her sometimes, as u can plainly see. anyways, that's my little penthouse stripper letter. nufced
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keith richards aint much of a story - it's just a famous name. i just think it's interesting in light of what a blotto he's famous for being. here we go -

in the mid 70s, i managed a band named cricket hill (the chick singer went on to be the backup singer in eddie & the cruisers & is a hella cabaret singer - leading interpreter of kurt weill's stuff - now). anyway, we were playing 3rd bill to the chambers bros & martha reeves (of vandella fame) at the big club at univ of conn (shboon, it was called). what made this noteworthy is the this was martha's 1st solo gig after recording her 1st post-vandellas record. a lot of the stones' backup guys (nicky hopkins, bobby keys) were on the record and in her band that wk. 3rd night, richards, ron wood, a coupla other big guys come up from the city to sit in. we all ended up jammin/partyin together, i got to talk to one of my idols a coupla times & felt verrrry cool.

flash fwd three yrs or so. im partying with some friends at sanibel island in florida and the house next door is reportedly bill wyman's. as sanibel beach parties tended to do, ours ran together with a coupla others (mostly cuz my friend had a LOT of toot). we got invited in to wyman's house (never saw him) and, there, flopped out on a couch, was richards. we're hanging in that room and he looks at me a minute and says "hey, i know you...youre the bloke from shboon...with maahtha.....dale, innitt?"

now if he had been like the bass player for the chambers bros, i wouldnta remembered him three yrs later (certainly not by name), so i was amazed and delighted that this monster loadie star did. if i could get any higher, i did. nufced.

 
wikkidpissah said:
keith richards aint much of a story - it's just a famous name. i just think it's interesting in light of what a blotto he's famous for being. here we go -

in the mid 70s, i managed a band named cricket hill (the chick singer went on to be the backup singer in eddie & the cruisers & is a hella cabaret singer - leading interpreter of kurt weill's stuff - now). anyway, we were playing 3rd bill to the chambers bros & martha reeves (of vandella fame) at the big club at univ of conn (shboon, it was called). what made this noteworthy is the this was martha's 1st solo gig after recording her 1st post-vandellas record. a lot of the stones' backup guys (nicky hopkins, bobby keys) were on the record and in her band that wk. 3rd night, richards, ron wood, a coupla other big guys come up from the city to sit in. we all ended up jammin/partyin together, i got to talk to one of my idols a coupla times & felt verrrry cool.

flash fwd three yrs or so. im partying with some friends at sanibel island in florida and the house next door is reportedly bill wyman's. as sanibel beach parties tended to do, ours ran together with a coupla others (mostly cuz my friend had a LOT of toot). we got invited in to wyman's house (never saw him) and, there, flopped out on a couch, was richards. we're hanging in that room and he looks at me a minute and says "hey, i know you...youre the bloke from shboon...with maahtha.....dale, innitt?"

now if he had been like the bass player for the chambers bros, i wouldnta remembered him three yrs later (certainly not by name), so i was amazed and delighted that this monster loadie star did. if i could get any higher, i did. nufced.
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Was this Hartford or Storrs and was this on campus or off? I am currently a student so I'm curious
 
wikkidpissah said:
keith richards aint much of a story - it's just a famous name. i just think it's interesting in light of what a blotto he's famous for being. here we go -in the mid 70s, i managed a band named cricket hill (the chick singer went on to be the backup singer in eddie & the cruisers & is a hella cabaret singer - leading interpreter of kurt weill's stuff - now). anyway, we were playing 3rd bill to the chambers bros & martha reeves (of vandella fame) at the big club at univ of conn (shboon, it was called). what made this noteworthy is the this was martha's 1st solo gig after recording her 1st post-vandellas record. a lot of the stones' backup guys (nicky hopkins, bobby keys) were on the record and in her band that wk. 3rd night, richards, ron wood, a coupla other big guys come up from the city to sit in. we all ended up jammin/partyin together, i got to talk to one of my idols a coupla times & felt verrrry cool.flash fwd three yrs or so. im partying with some friends at sanibel island in florida and the house next door is reportedly bill wyman's. as sanibel beach parties tended to do, ours ran together with a coupla others (mostly cuz my friend had a LOT of toot). we got invited in to wyman's house (never saw him) and, there, flopped out on a couch, was richards. we're hanging in that room and he looks at me a minute and says "hey, i know you...youre the bloke from shboon...with maahtha.....dale, innitt?"now if he had been like the bass player for the chambers bros, i wouldnta remembered him three yrs later (certainly not by name), so i was amazed and delighted that this monster loadie star did. if i could get any higher, i did. nufced.
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You know that gypsy was right. My life really DOES suck. :hey:
 
Jimmy Carter's junk
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ok, but that's it for today. it's no fun for me if i do em all at once.my gf was selling time for a boston radio station. since she could develop more accts if she had the capacity to produce the commercials, she asked if, since i had logged a lil studio time in the music biz, if that would be summin i could do. i told her i'd give it a try. when the GM heard my voice, he asked if i had any interest in being a dj. i said no, but he was able to convince me to read some headlines now & then when i was in the studio. this was the fall of '75 and there was a hella lot o stuff happening in '76 - the bicentennial stuff, the presidential campaign (with the dem convention in NYC) , the olympics in montreal, etc etc - so, when the boss liked how i read the news, i decided to propose that i cover as many of these events as he would pay for.he wanted to see how i reported an original story, so i looked for one. i interviewed a whole bunch of vaudevilians from the ol Howard theater (torn down to build Govt Center) who still got together for lunch every other Thursday more than 20 yrs later. he liked that (matter of fact, it got nominated for an award), so he asked me if i could find a hard news story. a friend of mine told me there was this guy running for president who was getting a head start on everybody (this was Nov '75 & people thought he was cheatin by runnin in NH so early for the primary - hilariously late now, of course). so i went to a couple of coffee klatches he spoke at, cozied up to his wiseass campaign mgr & ended up getting an interview with James Earl Carter. the GM loved it and authorized me to cover most of the stuff i wanted to in '76. i got very friendly with the Gov & Ham & Jody etc (i'll have to tell u about us partying with the British aristocracy when Princess Anne came over for the olympic equestrian trials sometime - them brits are some sick ####s) and became a regular at their campaign events (esp in NE).on to the presidential penis. the nomination hadnt been determined by the Mass primary in april, so they spent a lot of time in the boston area. we were at a campaign stop at a pub and it so happens the Gov had to pee the same time as me. well, the pub had one of them trough urinals, so i'm standing next to the guy squirtin & i think to myself, "this guy could be the next POTUS & his ####'s hangin out next to me. summin to tell the grandkids." so i looked, nothing exceptional, reddish pubes. nufced.next time, i'll tell the story about hitchin from cali to michigan without food or sleep. much ,more fn & not as namedroppy. maybe i should up the ante to outback or pfchang or summin....
 
Next request:

Let's hear about the Saturday Night Live interview you did back in the late 70's dirtybird.

Yeah, i've heard the story, but not sure it's been shared here yet.

 
geewill said:
Next request:Let's hear about the Saturday Night Live interview you did back in the late 70's dirtybird.Yeah, i've heard the story, but not sure it's been shared here yet.
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that & my 8-women-at-once (which i believe i told here b4) stories are my homeruns, i'll do the SNL one after the hitchhiking story, tomorrow or the next day
 
Hello, my name is Wikkid, Wikkidpissah. My momma always said, "Life is like a box o chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

 
wikkidpissah said:
Jimmy Carter's junk
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ok, but that's it for today. it's no fun for me if i do em all at once.my gf was selling time for a boston radio station. since she could develop more accts if she had the capacity to produce the commercials, she asked if, since i had logged a lil studio time in the music biz, if that would be summin i could do. i told her i'd give it a try. when the GM heard my voice, he asked if i had any interest in being a dj. i said no, but he was able to convince me to read some headlines now & then when i was in the studio. this was the fall of '75 and there was a hella lot o stuff happening in '76 - the bicentennial stuff, the presidential campaign (with the dem convention in NYC) , the olympics in montreal, etc etc - so, when the boss liked how i read the news, i decided to propose that i cover as many of these events as he would pay for.

he wanted to see how i reported an original story, so i looked for one. i interviewed a whole bunch of vaudevilians from the ol Howard theater (torn down to build Govt Center) who still got together for lunch every other Thursday more than 20 yrs later. he liked that (matter of fact, it got nominated for an award), so he asked me if i could find a hard news story. a friend of mine told me there was this guy running for president who was getting a head start on everybody (this was Nov '75 & people thought he was cheatin by runnin in NH so early for the primary - hilariously late now, of course). so i went to a couple of coffee klatches he spoke at, cozied up to his wiseass campaign mgr & ended up getting an interview with James Earl Carter. the GM loved it and authorized me to cover most of the stuff i wanted to in '76. i got very friendly with the Gov & Ham & Jody etc (i'll have to tell u about us partying with the British aristocracy when Princess Anne came over for the olympic equestrian trials sometime - them brits are some sick ####s) and became a regular at their campaign events (esp in NE).

on to the presidential penis. the nomination hadnt been determined by the Mass primary in april, so they spent a lot of time in the boston area. we were at a campaign stop at a pub and it so happens the Gov had to pee the same time as me. well, the pub had one of them trough urinals, so i'm standing next to the guy squirtin & i think to myself, "this guy could be the next POTUS & his ####'s hangin out next to me. summin to tell the grandkids." so i looked, nothing exceptional, reddish pubes. nufced.

next time, i'll tell the story about hitchin from cali to michigan without food or sleep. much ,more fn & not as namedroppy. maybe i should up the ante to outback or pfchang or summin....
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awesomequoted for posterity

Edit: Outback seems very reasonable at this point. Are you a big eater?

 
Last edited by a moderator:
wikkidpissah said:
geewill said:
Next request:Let's hear about the Saturday Night Live interview you did back in the late 70's dirtybird.Yeah, i've heard the story, but not sure it's been shared here yet.
Click to expand...
that & my 8-women-at-once (which i believe i told here b4) stories are my homeruns, i'll do the SNL one after the hitchhiking story, tomorrow or the next day
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link please
 
JAA said:
wikkidpissah said:
geewill said:
Next request:Let's hear about the Saturday Night Live interview you did back in the late 70's dirtybird.Yeah, i've heard the story, but not sure it's been shared here yet.
Click to expand...
that & my 8-women-at-once (which i believe i told here b4) stories are my homeruns, i'll do the SNL one after the hitchhiking story, tomorrow or the next day
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link please
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i tried a quick search for the 8-wimmens story & didnt see anything. i'm not good at that kinda thing tho so, if u wanna try, key words would be "Van Dyke Parks" and "insufficient writhing"got some work to do, will try to do the hitchhiking story sometime this afternoon.
 
Oh and keep on keepin on. YOu got paypal? I'd pitch in a few grand slams to keep the yarns spinning.

 
next time, i'll tell the story about hitchin from cali to michigan without food or sleep. much ,more fn & not as namedroppy. maybe i should up the ante to outback or pfchang or summin....
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Hey, Kramerwikkid, dude. You ever killed a man before?" And he said, "What do you think, Junior? These hands have been soaking in Ivory liquid?
 
mon said:
next time, i'll tell the story about hitchin from cali to michigan without food or sleep. much ,more fn & not as namedroppy. maybe i should up the ante to outback or pfchang or summin....
Click to expand...
Hey, Kramerwikkid, dude. You ever killed a man before?" And he said, "What do you think, Junior? These hands have been soaking in Ivory liquid?
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Yo Yo Ma!!!
 
OK - hitchhiker story:

sept '71 would have been the beginning of my senior yr in HS but, because of events described earlier, it instead found me hangin' the MP in whatever the most attractive hippie-type situation was i could find. i had two good friends who were a yr ahead of me in school & were, therefore, about to be off to college - one, my HS sweetheart, to Hope College in mich., the other to study foresty at Lassen College in northern cali. this was great cuz hanging dorms was good livin - there was always that weird guy who never had a roomate & wanted in with koolkidz whose other bunk i could take & i could hustle cards or pingpong in the student union for SAGA meal tickets. so, i called my pal b4 he left boston & he told me to come up after labor day.

livin the good life, when my bud knocks on the weird guy's door & hands me a phone #, says its my gf's college roomie & she's been in an accident. turns out she was straddling her bicycle down some steps & stumbled, gettin the bidness end of the bike seat up her hooha. not life threatening, but Emily Post says the proper etiquette for any serious cooter injury calls for a prompt visit from the bf. i'm 2000 miles away & i got like three bucks - what am i gonna do. i go to the store & buy 2 pks of smokes, bread, pb & honey to make sammiches along the way & head off with like 77 cents in my pocket.

im gonna put this up in segments so i dont lose it if my comp pooches (lotta brownouts arond here in summer). part two comin up -

 
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