Otis, how did your, um, medical exam go today? (1 Viewer)

[OC Zed]

Gritty details, please.

 

[lunar cranium]

you using the whole fist there, doc?

 

[quotheraven]

MOOOON RIVER

 

[OC Zed]

What did he say about your dinner last night?

 

[T Bell]

Otis

 

[OC Zed]

Bump.

Any leftover soreness?

 

[Otis]

Bump.Any leftover soreness?

 

[Otis]

I had some kind of an internal hem action that was giving me grief. Guy bent me over a chair like I was his toddler, jammed what looked like a guitar stand up my rear, and put a tiny rubber band around it, all while the young cute nurse stood there looking on as though she were looking over her friend's shoulder at a horrifying Youtube clip. Now I'm walking around with rubber bands up my ###.

Is it the weekend yet?

 

[TheAristocrat]

I had some kind of an internal hem action that was giving me grief. Guy bent me over a chair like I was his toddler, jammed what looked like a guitar stand up my rear, and put a tiny rubber band around it, all while the young cute nurse stood there looking on as though she were looking over her friend's shoulder at a horrifying Youtube clip. Now I'm walking around with rubber bands up my ###.

Is it the weekend yet?

I'm not usually a religious man but I knelt down in my office and said a prayer for you.

 

[OC Zed]

I had some kind of an internal hem action that was giving me grief. Guy bent me over a chair like I was his toddler, jammed what looked like a guitar stand up my rear, and put a tiny rubber band around it, all while the young cute nurse stood there looking on as though she were looking over her friend's shoulder at a horrifying Youtube clip. Now I'm walking around with rubber bands up my ###.

Is it the weekend yet?

So, essentially the rubber bands are used to strangle the hemorrhoid? How long are they up in there?(Zed has had some external roid problems lately and is interested... :whoosh: )

 

[Zow]

I had some kind of an internal hem action that was giving me grief. Guy bent me over a chair like I was his toddler, jammed what looked like a guitar stand up my rear, and put a tiny rubber band around it, all while the young cute nurse stood there looking on as though she were looking over her friend's shoulder at a horrifying Youtube clip. Now I'm walking around with rubber bands up my ###.

Is it the weekend yet?

ouch - the fact a cute nurse had to be there to observe had to make it so much worse

 

[Zow]

btw, what the hell is a hemmroid? (i think i've asked this before)

 

[Otis]

I had some kind of an internal hem action that was giving me grief. Guy bent me over a chair like I was his toddler, jammed what looked like a guitar stand up my rear, and put a tiny rubber band around it, all while the young cute nurse stood there looking on as though she were looking over her friend's shoulder at a horrifying Youtube clip. Now I'm walking around with rubber bands up my ###.

Is it the weekend yet?

So, essentially the rubber bands are used to strangle the hemorrhoid? How long are they up in there?(Zed has had some external roid problems lately and is interested... )

Yeah that's my understanding. I've got to go back and do this twice more in the next month or so, but then I should be in the clear. I don't think the procedure works on the external guys. Those are just find indications of wisdom and the general wear and tear of life. Like crows feet by the eyes or forehead wrinkles. Wear the outies proudly.My problem was a couple of internal bad boys that, when agitated over my last night's effort to raise my blood alcohol level beyond legal limits, the next day would turn out like a bad Elm Street flick. I mean through my Seven jeans and all. Imagine trying to pick up hot broads when you're on your period. Or better yet, having to explain the italian wedding scene to the (non-virgin) random broad in your bed the next morning. Oof.

Life sucks sometimes. Seriously. If this kinda of crap continues to crop up as we get older, I'm checking out no later than 40. Zed, I'll leave you the rubber bands in my will.

 

[OC Zed]

btw, what the hell is a hemmroid? (i think i've asked this before)

It's like your ex, but it lives in your ###.

 

[Otis]

I had some kind of an internal hem action that was giving me grief. Guy bent me over a chair like I was his toddler, jammed what looked like a guitar stand up my rear, and put a tiny rubber band around it, all while the young cute nurse stood there looking on as though she were looking over her friend's shoulder at a horrifying Youtube clip. Now I'm walking around with rubber bands up my ###.

Is it the weekend yet?

ouch - the fact a cute nurse had to be there to observe had to make it so much worse

When she showed me into the room I remember thinking please god just be the hostess and not the waitress.

 

[Otis]

btw, what the hell is a hemmroid? (i think i've asked this before)

It's like your ex, but it lives in your ###.

Holy crap that's a great analogy.

 

[OC Zed]

Otis is a brave, brave man.

 

[Jaysus]

wait... so I've made some cherry kool-aid before, but it was always contained to an indoor plumbing vessel (or something similar). Are you telling me that there is a potential for the red sea to crest above flood levels... even at low tide?

 

[Otis]

wait... so I've made some cherry kool-aid before, but it was always contained to an indoor plumbing vessel (or something similar). Are you telling me that there is a potential for the red sea to crest above flood levels... even at low tide?

WTF means this gb?

 

[Jaysus]

wait... so I've made some cherry kool-aid before, but it was always contained to an indoor plumbing vessel (or something similar). Are you telling me that there is a potential for the red sea to crest above flood levels... even at low tide?

WTF means this gb?

I really have no clue... But I am scared to death of having a rubber band installed in my ### because of all the blood I poop.

 

[falconeyed]

I had some kind of an internal hem action that was giving me grief. Guy bent me over a chair like I was his toddler, jammed what looked like a guitar stand up my rear, and put a tiny rubber band around it, all while the young cute nurse stood there looking on as though she were looking over her friend's shoulder at a horrifying Youtube clip. Now I'm walking around with rubber bands up my ###.

Is it the weekend yet?

Ugh. Been there, only after the guy hammered the guitar stand up my ### with a rubber mallet, he proclaimed that IT was too small to band. So, in the end, I volunteered for this procedure that would have made Torquemada grimace and got no results. Thankfully, Nature ended up resolving the problem.

 

[mr. furley]

wait... so I've made some cherry kool-aid before, but it was always contained to an indoor plumbing vessel (or something similar). Are you telling me that there is a potential for the red sea to crest above flood levels... even at low tide?

 

[Limp Ditka]

I had some kind of an internal hem action that was giving me grief. Guy bent me over a chair like I was his toddler, jammed what looked like a guitar stand up my rear, and put a tiny rubber band around it, all while the young cute nurse stood there looking on as though she were looking over her friend's shoulder at a horrifying Youtube clip. Now I'm walking around with rubber bands up my ###.

Is it the weekend yet?

Because being the weekend would make having rubber bands up your keister a normal thing?

 

[Otis]

wait... so I've made some cherry kool-aid before, but it was always contained to an indoor plumbing vessel (or something similar). Are you telling me that there is a potential for the red sea to crest above flood levels... even at low tide?

WTF means this gb?

I really have no clue... But I am scared to death of having a rubber band installed in my ### because of all the blood I poop.

Imagine you have a water balloon up your ### filled with red paint. Every now and then the water balloon inflates, usually because you got liquored up and chased skirts the night before, and pops without warning. Now you're walking around with red paint all over yourself.And now imagine that the paint is blood and the water balloon is actually part of your ###.I deserve a #######ed purple heart.

 

[falconeyed]

wait... so I've made some cherry kool-aid before, but it was always contained to an indoor plumbing vessel (or something similar). Are you telling me that there is a potential for the red sea to crest above flood levels... even at low tide?

WTF means this gb?

I really have no clue... But I am scared to death of having a rubber band installed in my ### because of all the blood I poop.

Imagine you have a water balloon up your ### filled with red paint. Every now and then the water balloon inflates, usually because you got liquored up and chased skirts the night before, and pops without warning. Now you're walking around with red paint all over yourself.And now imagine that the paint is blood and the water balloon is actually part of your ###.I deserve a #######ed purple heart.

/thread

 

[strykerpks]

I'm not laughing at your misfortune O but the use of the English language in here rivals the FFA of old

 

[Jaysus]

wait... so I've made some cherry kool-aid before, but it was always contained to an indoor plumbing vessel (or something similar). Are you telling me that there is a potential for the red sea to crest above flood levels... even at low tide?

WTF means this gb?

I really have no clue... But I am scared to death of having a rubber band installed in my ### because of all the blood I poop.

Imagine you have a water balloon up your ### filled with red paint. Every now and then the water balloon inflates, usually because you got liquored up and chased skirts the night before, and pops without warning. Now you're walking around with red paint all over yourself.And now imagine that the paint is blood and the water balloon is actually part of your ###.I deserve a #######ed purple heart.

Ok sweet!It sound like my issues, while equally bloody at times, may not be the type of thing that required an invasive rubber band solution.but I don't know if that is good or bad....

 

[Otis]

wait... so I've made some cherry kool-aid before, but it was always contained to an indoor plumbing vessel (or something similar). Are you telling me that there is a potential for the red sea to crest above flood levels... even at low tide?

WTF means this gb?

I really have no clue... But I am scared to death of having a rubber band installed in my ### because of all the blood I poop.

Imagine you have a water balloon up your ### filled with red paint. Every now and then the water balloon inflates, usually because you got liquored up and chased skirts the night before, and pops without warning. Now you're walking around with red paint all over yourself.And now imagine that the paint is blood and the water balloon is actually part of your ###.

I deserve a #######ed purple heart.

Ok sweet!It sound like my issues, while equally bloody at times, may not be the type of thing that required an invasive rubber band solution.

but I don't know if that is good or bad....

Was my description not clear enough????

 

[Jaysus]

wait... so I've made some cherry kool-aid before, but it was always contained to an indoor plumbing vessel (or something similar). Are you telling me that there is a potential for the red sea to crest above flood levels... even at low tide?

WTF means this gb?

I really have no clue... But I am scared to death of having a rubber band installed in my ### because of all the blood I poop.

Imagine you have a water balloon up your ### filled with red paint. Every now and then the water balloon inflates, usually because you got liquored up and chased skirts the night before, and pops without warning. Now you're walking around with red paint all over yourself.And now imagine that the paint is blood and the water balloon is actually part of your ###.

I deserve a #######ed purple heart.

Ok sweet!It sound like my issues, while equally bloody at times, may not be the type of thing that required an invasive rubber band solution.

but I don't know if that is good or bad....

Was my description not clear enough????

Apparently my wasn't... I only poop blood, I don't explode it.P.S. Get well soon GB!

 

[Disco Stu]

WTF?

Is this a common issue? I'm suddenly more afraid for my ### than GM during a MMF.

 

[Otis]

WTF? :X

Is this a common issue? I'm suddenly more afraid for my ### than GM during a MMF.

Check here at about the 3:30 markYWIA

 

[Jaysus]

Apparently my wasn't... I only poop blood, I don't explode it.

P.S. Get well soon GB!

speaking of which... wish me luck - I am about to go test the waters.

 

[Zow]

wait... so I've made some cherry kool-aid before, but it was always contained to an indoor plumbing vessel (or something similar). Are you telling me that there is a potential for the red sea to crest above flood levels... even at low tide?

WTF means this gb?

I really have no clue... But I am scared to death of having a rubber band installed in my ### because of all the blood I poop.

Imagine you have a water balloon up your ### filled with red paint. Every now and then the water balloon inflates, usually because you got liquored up and chased skirts the night before, and pops without warning. Now you're walking around with red paint all over yourself.And now imagine that the paint is blood and the water balloon is actually part of your ###.I deserve a #######ed purple heart.

Jesus Christ

 

[T Bell]

Bump.Any leftover soreness?

Liquids only, you say?

 

[Disco Stu]

WTF?

Is this a common issue? I'm suddenly more afraid for my ### than GM during a MMF.

Check here at about the 3:30 markYWIA

HOW COMMON IS THIS!!!!!!!!11!1!?????//?/??

 

[Otis]

WTF?

Is this a common issue? I'm suddenly more afraid for my ### than GM during a MMF.

Check here at about the 3:30 markYWIA

HOW COMMON IS THIS!!!!!!!!11!1!?????//?/??

Expect it any day, without warning.Gllll

 

[Zow]

WTF?

Is this a common issue? I'm suddenly more afraid for my ### than GM during a MMF.

Check here at about the 3:30 markYWIA

HOW COMMON IS THIS!!!!!!!!11!1!?????//?/??

Expect it any day, without warning.Gllll

what's the cause? i want to stay as far away from it as possible if possible...

 

[Otis]

WTF?

Is this a common issue? I'm suddenly more afraid for my ### than GM during a MMF.

Check here at about the 3:30 markYWIA

HOW COMMON IS THIS!!!!!!!!11!1!?????//?/??

Expect it any day, without warning.Gllll

what's the cause? i want to stay as far away from it as possible if possible...

Living life at 164% at all times. Somethin's eventually gotta give...

 

[Zow]

WTF?

Is this a common issue? I'm suddenly more afraid for my ### than GM during a MMF.

Check here at about the 3:30 markYWIA

HOW COMMON IS THIS!!!!!!!!11!1!?????//?/??

Expect it any day, without warning.Gllll

what's the cause? i want to stay as far away from it as possible if possible...

Living life at 164% at all times. Somethin's eventually gotta give...

ok good, i usually stick to no more than 157%

 

[OC Zed]

So, what's the best way to avoid the internal variety?

Lay off the excessive booze intake? High fiber diet? Don't strain or sit too long on the can?

We need some tips in here.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

 

[Wild Young Billy]

wait... so I've made some cherry kool-aid before, but it was always contained to an indoor plumbing vessel (or something similar). Are you telling me that there is a potential for the red sea to crest above flood levels... even at low tide?

WTF means this gb?

I really have no clue... But I am scared to death of having a rubber band installed in my ### because of all the blood I poop.

WTF is wrong with you people? Stop pushing so hard!!!

 

[Otis]

So, what's the best way to avoid the internal variety?Lay off the excessive booze intake? High fiber diet? Don't strain or sit too long on the can?We need some tips in here.

Probably all of those things. Just throttle back 30 or 40% and you should be ok. That's not an option for Otis. I may soon drop in a pool of booze, blood and rubber bands, but it will be at full speed.

 

[Otis]

Link

 

[falconeyed]

WTF?

Is this a common issue? I'm suddenly more afraid for my ### than GM during a MMF.

Check here at about the 3:30 markYWIA

HOW COMMON IS THIS!!!!!!!!11!1!?????//?/??

Expect it any day, without warning.Gllll

what's the cause? i want to stay as far away from it as possible if possible...

Living life at 164% at all times. Somethin's eventually gotta give...

And generally people think that something other then the lining of their ### is the "something" that eventually gives.

 

[GroveDiesel]

wait... so I've made some cherry kool-aid before, but it was always contained to an indoor plumbing vessel (or something similar). Are you telling me that there is a potential for the red sea to crest above flood levels... even at low tide?

WTF means this gb?

I really have no clue... But I am scared to death of having a rubber band installed in my ### because of all the blood I poop.

Imagine you have a water balloon up your ### filled with red paint. Every now and then the water balloon inflates, usually because you got liquored up and chased skirts the night before, and pops without warning. Now you're walking around with red paint all over yourself.And now imagine that the paint is blood and the water balloon is actually part of your ###.I deserve a #######ed purple heart.

Are you sure that you just didn't get your period?

 

[yoshi-187]

Contrary to popular post-internet belief, some things are just better when left unseen. #### it! Lets see some pics!

 

[TLEF316]

wait, so is Otis single again? If so, what happened to the christian chick?

 

[Jaysus]

wait, so is Otis single again? If so, what happened to the christian chick?

you try ####ting blood on a chick in your sleep, and see how long your relationship lasts.

 

[Otis]

wait, so is Otis single again? If so, what happened to the christian chick?

I promise that if I were single again I'd have way more exciting topics than this.