So, definitely a personal finance question, but also a life question and looking for any wisdom/advice.
long story short, girl friend lives in Denver; I'm in the Chicago area; We've continued to see each other since she moved, but distance (and other factors) have created some issues in our relationship.
We both agree we need to spend more time together, but I'm against staying in Denver for longer than 2 weeks at a time (she had suggested 1 month) given that we have had issues of late. I'm also not ready to move to Denver.
She currently rents, I currently own a condo (no renting allowed) where I have a great interest rate (2.12% on a 15 year with about 13.5 years remaining). I have a job in the Chicago area where I have to make appearances from time to time, she is full time remote in Denver. She moved there to be around her 2 brothers and loves nature.
I have suggested that she consider moving back to Chicago, but she wants to stay in Denver. I may ask that she comes to Chicago for longer periods (I do 95% of the traveling today to Denver) to help bridge the gap as well.
I am planning to suggest longer stays (2 week stays), plus a vacation later this year (we haven't done that before) AND asking her to come to Chicago more often. I am not ready to move Denver, but also understand she wants to stay and am willing to consider moving there, but I don't think we're ready for that yet, nor can we ignore finances - I own a condo with a historically low interest rate and have a job I need to be somewhat present for (I have a team that reports to me, but we are mainly remote). She doesn't have a mortgage - is just renting - and has the fully remote job. To me, this is somewhat simple. If distance is one of the issues (which I agree that it is), come to Chicago more often.
In the meantime, I am not going to commit to moving to Denver for the time being and am not going to be put any time frame on it if we are struggling to spend shorter time together. I think we need to reset our relationship and see if we can make it through this period.
Saying a lot above to give some context and happy too address any questions.....
Looking for any general advice on how to handle this from a financial standpoint. She rents, I own. How do we even consider a future together with our current commitments, I am at a place in my life where I don't want to rent, just own.
Any ways to make the relationship work while we are distant other than what I have suggested? Am what I am suggesting reasonable?
Well, lemme give you my 2-cents worth. I moved from Boston to Denver last October. Denver has its good points.... the climate here being one of the strongest points I can name. But lemme tell ya, the employment situation here sux compared to Boston. I mean, I have a great resume, lots of experience, and licenses galore. But when I started job-hunting in Denver last fall, I was offering to take a 25% pay cut from my Boston comp, and guess what? I was still pricing myself out of jobs! I finally took a temporary contract at a 35% discount from my Boston comp and no benefits.
Well, I did some job hunting over the summer, then, this year. I found a good head-hunter. In fact, the ONLY head-hunter I have ever had that I really liked. He was based here in Denver, but he wasn't lining up many interviews here in Denver for me. In fact, I don't recall his lining up ANY interviews for me here in Denver. They were all remote positions. I finally came to the conclusion that Denver just doesn't have the caliber of client I was accustomed to dealing with in Boston. But he did hook me up with a really good firm... in CHICAGO, of all places. They wanted me on board very badly and made that pretty obvious. They matched my Boston comp letter-for-letter and threw in unlimited PTO to boot. So I'm now working 100% remote from home, here in Denver, but for a Chicago firm.
I won't get into the other ways in which Boston beats Denver, at least not right now, but there are definitely some things I like much better about Denver over Boston. Again, the climate here being at the top of the list. Oh yeah, traffic is much easier here, too, so there's that. Yup, no one here seems to have heard the term, "Masshole", and whenever I show them this link about driving in Boston, they all think I'm kidding. NOT!!!
http://www.masshole.com/driving.html Agree with me,
@HellToupee ??
Yup, I'll proudly admit I'm a Masshole. So are my kids. We're a family of Massholes! The three of them all moved with me, and we all had to adjust our driving habits. I mean, within two weeks of moving here, both my daughters (ages 20 & 19) got tickets, one for speeding and the other for running a red light. And just last week, my 22 year-old son got a ticket for making an illegal U-Turn. Such tickets just don't exist in Boston. The police are much more interested in keeping traffic moving. But if you have an accident or hit someone, traffic is getting backed up, anyhow, so they might as well write you a ticket in that case. Out in the 'burbs, though, it's a different story, as many towns use speed traps to raise revenue. So far, the only tickets I have gotten in Denver are for parking on the wrong side of the street on street sweeping day. Though, last week, I did continue straight out of the left-hand turn land, gesturing politely (?) to the oncoming left-hand turn traffic.
Anyhow before you move here, I strongly suggest you check out the employment situation. I foolishly assumed that any big city would certainly have good employment opportunities like what I was used to in Boston. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!! I was very fortunate to have a very good head-hunter who hooked me up with this Chicago firm. It's an excellent opportunity working with clients that are right down my alley.
and not the one. If owning and being apart trumps all, then it wasn't meant to be. She works remote and decided to move away. I'd have broken things off then and there but....
July was quite nice. Back over the “magic number” in retirement accounts, and just under a 0.33% monthly / 4% annual withdrawal rate (if we were to be retired). 6% return in a dead cat bounce or Whatever we call it. 
I reread what I wrote and see what you mean. I guess after all those years working for banks my head is still in the "you" as the banker.
