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Pick a pivotal moment in your life. What would be different (1 Viewer)

badmojo1006

badmojo1006

Footballguy
if you had gone the opposite direction?

My gf at the time (soon to be wife, then ex wife) was leaving town to go to college. I wanted us to take a break from the relationship and see how strong we were.

Started to bring it up and she burst into tears, saying she loved me and couldn't see breaking up. This is the same woman who left me for another woman and had these feelings way back in High School. So she was lying to me and herself about who she wanted to be with

If we had broken up, I would have stayed in the Bay Area (where I wanted to be all along) would have found somebody else.

I have had a decent life, just curious to see what would have happened.

 
My parents fully expected me to move with them from NY to Dallas back in 1982. I had just turned 18 and was with my girlfriend for about 3 years. I stayed.

My girlfriend and I broke up a couple of years later but I met my wife about a year after that. Very glad I decided to stay.

 
I'm sure a lot of these are going to be related to decisions to not move somewhere because of a relationship we were in.

For me, I opted to attend a lower ranked law school to be near my gf from college instead of attending one of the two higher ranked law schools I had gotten into. I opted to then stay at that particular law school because I was dating another girl, and that choice and the resulting disastrous fallout are well chronicled here.

Frankly, I'm leading a pretty good life right now so it's hard to say I wish I had made a different choice. Even if I could go back, there's no way I could have convinced my younger self to make a different decision anyway. And as ####ty as the end result of that second relationship was and the "waste" of time I spent getting over it, it's hard to say that didn't change me for the better.

 
My wife and I were looking to move from downtown Chicago and buy our first house. We almost bit on an offer, but it was a little too high. We bought another house on the other side of town. That led to meeting neighbors, which led to meeting a university VP at a holiday party, which led to randomly bumping into that guy several weeks later, which led to hearing of a Controller's job opening at his university ...a job that I got and has resulted in a long career in higher ed. If we bought that first house, I likely would not have made the move from the corporate world to higher ed. I'm on the cusp of switching to a full-time faculty position for next fall, which is a dream job for me, as things have developed.

 
I almost went to USC. Ended up going to a different school where I met my wife, who became Chance's mother. Everything about my life would have been different.

 
My parents divorce. Obviously I didn't really have a say in it but both parents remarried and my Mom moved us to a different part of the state. Met my future wife in middle school in the new area and we still live around there today.

 
Eta: not going to a private hs to play baseball

Then not playing baseball in college

 
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AAABatteries said:
Bucky86 said:
badmojo1006 said:
Bucky86 said:
Why are most of these about women?
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Is yours going to be about that man you let go?
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Well, when my grandfather died in 2007 the message he left helped me make a pivotal decision.
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Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.???
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"I didn't really lose our life savings...I hid it....." Then he died. I've been looking for it ever since.

 
I wish I hadn't volunteered to go to Somalia in 1992. It changed me as a person. Anyone who has been on a military deployment understands.

 
Taking the job working for crazy ex-boss has changed my life in multiple ways.

On the one hand I likely would have never gotten my CPA license and thus never gotten the great job that I have now. On the other hand, I wouldn't have gone through such a long period being under employed causing financial distress and wouldn't have gone through depression and all of the ramifications from that.

Probably the other biggest decision was when I decided to go away to college instead of stay home. Got out of my Christian bubble, met a boatload of great people including my wife, and learned more about the world and people.

 
I didn't accept a partial ride to Lewis and Clark to play football. My stupid ### went to Ucsb to be with friends and party.

 
Turn down a job in the pacific NW to stay in the area w a new baby. 15 years later still in the area and wonder how things would have been living in Seattle.

 
SHIZNITTTT said:
I wish I hadn't volunteered to go to Somalia in 1992. It changed me as a person. Anyone who has been on a military deployment understands.
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Yes, but what you were doing makes a huge difference. My job was a different stress than what the line guys go though, wouldn't trade roles but respect them for it.

My first thought was to have gone after the girl i liked, who then liked me as i lost interest, then i liked again and a buddy told me to go for it, but my first date with my wife was less than a week after that conversation. We're fb friends and she seems to be doing well so everything has worked out for both of us.

Second thought was to have transferred to Colorado after my sophomore year like i planned to but again, life would be very different now.

After thinking it over, i wouldn't change any key moments. Life is good.

 
Jayrod said:
Taking the job working for crazy ex-boss has changed my life in multiple ways.

On the one hand I likely would have never gotten my CPA license and thus never gotten the great job that I have now. On the other hand, I wouldn't have gone through such a long period being under employed causing financial distress and wouldn't have gone through depression and all of the ramifications from that.

Probably the other biggest decision was when I decided to go away to college instead of stay home. Got out of my Christian bubble, met a boatload of great people including my wife, and learned more about the world and people.
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I was really hoping yours would be deciding not to steal money from your ex-boss this time :kicksrock:

 
Wish I would have haggled more when I bought my house. Had a bad agent and my wife and I were too naive to understand the process. Now we're saddled with PMI for the foreseeable future for a house model that sold for $40k less within a year in the same development.

Along with some other things, this is the main cause of pain in my life right now. Moneys tight and my wife complains about the house being too small.

Wish I had that one back.

 
bigbottom said:
I almost went to USC. Ended up going to a different school where I met my wife, who became Chance's mother. Everything about my life would have been different.
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Would you have been in the same frat? :banned:

For me, I was skiing for the first time ever at Snow Summit when I was 19.

I told the group of six I was with to go on ahead and not wait for me after a few runs. Raised my hand as a single. Went up the lift with another guy from Long Beach St. He invited me to a frat party. I knew nothing about frats at the time.

I wound up going to the wrong frat house down the street. Didn't know I was at the wrong house for two hours. Wound up joining the frat from the first house.

Met my wife at a frat party we held a year later.

Posted here that we started playing CAPS in 1980 and having enormous frat tournaments.

That post led to finding out BB and Chance are frat bros of mine. :hifive:

 
Most of the biggest regrets I had when younger, turned out to be the best decisions for me later in life.

1. Getting my wife pregnant before we were married. Led to us marrying too young, not getting to enjoy being a couple but rather always parents that happened to be married to one another. As it turns out it was nice to have kids young so we could keep up with them and now we are still relatively young as they are beginning to get married and have lives of their own...and we will eventually be young grandparents.

2. Getting medically DQ'ed from Navigator training - which forced me into being a Budget Officer in the Air Force - which meant getting out after 4 years when if I had been a Nav and stayed in for 20 I would now be retired from the Air Force....but by getting out and becoming a computer programmer - I was able to make more money - live where my kids could be close to both sets of grandparents and grow up around their cousins. Plus it has led to more involvement in coaching teams over a longer period of time without having to move every few years.

3. Screwing around in college my Freshman year - getting me put on suspension, which led to transferring schools which cost me my baseball dreams as I was now in a bigger school as a non-scholarship athlete and that is when I had to work to pay for college as opposed to baseball paying for it. But....by transferring I met my wife, got back into ROTC which down the road led to a job right out of college and eventually where I am at today.

4. 3 years into the marriage, we were terrible for each other, separated and on the brink of divorce. Because of our young daughter we decided to go to counseling - would have been easy to call it quits. Had that happened we would not have had our other 4 kids over the next 12 years and I cannot imagine the void that would have caused in my life.

So tons of things I could easily have done different, wanted to do different, but didn't - and it worked out in the end despite my doubts.

 
Great topic, hope this thread sticks around for awhile. Where we are in life is nothing more than the cumulation of thousands / millions of individual choices we make along the way. It is pretty deep to think how any variation in these choices could have resulted in a completely different present for us. I subscribe to the "no regrets" line of thinking and wouldn't change the past because every good or bad decision I've made has led me to who and where I am today. That being said, it is intriguing to consider the alternatives.

What if I had gone to the party school at the beach rather than the school you don't pass on if you get in?

What if I had married the girl who was great on paper even though I had doubts in my young immature head?

What if I had decided to stay close to home after college rather than venture west into the great unknown?

What if I hadn't gone into that karaoke bar in that middle of nowhere town on a work trip and said hello to that blue eyed girl with an attitude?

What if I had bookmarked fftoday rather than fbg years ago?

The crazy thing is even had any of the major or minor decisions in my life gone differently I still would have experienced similar ups and downs, doubts and fears, joys and adventures. The present might look a little different and the people around me as well, but I'd still be me, still trying to figure #### out while enjoying the ride.

 
Getzlaf15 said:
Would you have been in the same frat? :banned:
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This is a good one. I was about to pledge one of the better frats (ΣΝ) at our school when I was talking with a guy on my team in and asked if he knew a guy in my residence hall, the guy I was talking to didn't seem to know who I was talking about. That bothered me at the time so I went to a different party that weekend. Turns out the guy went by his middle name and nickname around the frat which is why the other dude didn't recognize him by his first name. I ended up pledging another, smaller frat which I ended up not liking or hanging out with the guys as much (most of the guys were drunks). I dropped it after a year but remained friends with the guys in ΣΝ Not exactly a huge thing, but my college life would have been different.

 
If I could do it over again I wouldnt have gotten married. Then I wouldnt have smoked $4000 dollars worth of crack in 3 months and had a nervous breakdown.

 
Early in my coaching career I basically got run out of town mostly due to one boss and I getting sideways. No one in the area would touch me or give me an interview for a job. I thought the world was ending. I was forced to move across state to take a job.

Spent 10 years there and won multiple state titles... suck it GW!

 
Lost the Fifth grade Class President election to Lori K. Right before we gave our speeches she brought in a grocery bag of Bazooka Joe bubblegum. Every voter got multiple pieces of 1¢ candy. We filmed the speeches, which were then replayed before everyone voted. I gave a much more polished speech, but lost in a landslide.

It's up to the reader to speculate how life might have turned out different for each of us, but I learned some great life lessons that day about integrity, perception and populism. I went on to treasurer of the student council and my college fraternity, and have enjoyed my career as a CPA and finance executive. Lori was a cheerleader and married a cement contractor at a young age. After only a couple years they got a divorce & she moved to Las Vegas, and I'm reasonably certain she is not unfamiliar with the pole.

 
A few years ago there was a big pick 6 carryover at Del Mar. I made my picks for all six races and it came out to $248 or so. I thought about it for a while but decided that it was just a bit more than I wanted to spend. I widdled it down to a more reasonable $96 play. I end up hitting 4 out of the 6 races and got nothing. My original play would have hit it. Two people split a 1.24M pick 6 that day, I could have been the third. I don't think 413K before taxes would have changed my life that much but it would have allowed me a bit of breathing room financially and perhaps I would have bought my mom a house instead of her living in that crappy apartment. I had it logged into my queue on Twinspires but I just didn't hit submit.

 
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MC Gas Money said:
If I could do it over again I wouldnt have gotten married. Then I wouldnt have smoked $4000 dollars worth of crack in 3 months and had a nervous breakdown.
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As a divorce attorney, I'm actually happy to report that a crack habit is not a requirement of getting a divorce.

 
I once paid a crack whore $1.35 to blow me in an alley next to a strip joint. Afterwards she said she would've done it for a dollar. :(

 
I can pinpoint a few pivotal moments in my life and have already played 'what if' with them. Many of them wouldn't have made much of a difference in the long run, but there are 2 that definitely would have taken me in a completely different direction, and both were because I didn't keep my mouth shut.

1. Fall of '85: After a disastrous first year of community college, I had even less of a clue about what I wanted to do with my life when a recruiter for the Army shows up, gives me their spiel and the next morning at 0-dark-30 I'm in his car on my way to take the ASVAB. I had pretty much sleep-walked through the process up to that point, but when we got to the first stop sign leaving my neighborhood, I told the recruiter I changed my mind and wanted to try college again. He showed great restraint by silently turning around and taking me home.

2. Winter of '91: One of my friends joins the Navy and gives the recruiter my name and number. With one semester left and no clue what to do with a degree in Spanish Language and Literature, I was more receptive to the idea of doing 20 years in uniform. I knew I could take a deferred enlistment and go in after I graduated, so I gladly went with the recruiter, took the ASVAB one evening and got up early the next morning for the physical. Given my age and education, my test scores were higher than most of the rest of the group so I figured they were going to want me and I could write my own ticket. However, during the physical, when asked if I had ever had any broken bones (which I hadn't), for some reason I said 'no, but I've sprained my ankles a few times playing basketball.' In that post Gulf War, Bill Clinton era, the military was downsizing so they were more selective. They pulled me out of the process, x-ray'd my feet and told me to wait until the specialist came in to look at the x-rays. I think it was 2 or 2 1/2 hours waiting, but in the mean time, the rest of the group finished processing. I saw the doctor for about 10 seconds. He marked 'disqualified' on my paperwork and sent me on my way. I had hoped to get into Cryptography, but getting disqualified saved me the future embarassment of learning after getting sworn in that I woudn't have been good enough with math to make it as a crypto tech and probably would have just done 4 years and gotten out.

 
Slam Dunk. 20 years ago, I was about to graduate from U. of Florida. I was recruited by and had offers from 3 companies.

Motorola's Pager Division to work in Marketing of Pagers

Otis Elevator to work in Sales

Toys "R" US to become a Store Manager

My dumb ### chose Toys R Us because the recruiter was very aggressive and made me feel like I was their guy.

I could have gotten in on the ground floor of the mass mobile phone market or made a small fortune selling elevators.

Instead I lasted one Holiday season at that train wreck of a job at Toys R Us and ended up in my current thankless and currently underpaid world of IT Service Management.

 
Gator Shawn said:
Slam Dunk. 20 years ago, I was about to graduate from U. of Florida. I was recruited by and had offers from 3 companies.

Motorola's Pager Division to work in Marketing of Pagers

Otis Elevator to work in Sales

Toys "R" US to become a Store Manager

My dumb ### chose Toys R Us because the recruiter was very aggressive and made me feel like I was their guy.

I could have gotten in on the ground floor of the mass mobile phone market or made a small fortune selling elevators.

Instead I lasted one Holiday season at that train wreck of a job at Toys R Us and ended up in my current thankless and currently underpaid world of IT Service Management.
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20 years is a long time to have had a chance to change this.

 
Jayrod said:
Gator Shawn said:
Slam Dunk. 20 years ago, I was about to graduate from U. of Florida. I was recruited by and had offers from 3 companies.

Motorola's Pager Division to work in Marketing of Pagers

Otis Elevator to work in Sales

Toys "R" US to become a Store Manager

My dumb ### chose Toys R Us because the recruiter was very aggressive and made me feel like I was their guy.

I could have gotten in on the ground floor of the mass mobile phone market or made a small fortune selling elevators.

Instead I lasted one Holiday season at that train wreck of a job at Toys R Us and ended up in my current thankless and currently underpaid world of IT Service Management.
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20 years is a long time to have had a chance to change this.
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I didn't say I didn't enjoy it. Just that it's thankless and underpaid at present. I have the power to change that, but that's a different story.

 
Easy for me. I had just been recruited to join a competing company and was given a big bonus. I took part of that money and invested aggressively in stocks. It was late 2000--the peak of the tech bubble. If I'd shorted the same portfolio instead of buying it, that account would be 8+ figures. Instead, I am still working through the loss carry forwards. Stupid 29yo me. :lol:

 
chet said:
Easy for me. I had just been recruited to join a competing company and was given a big bonus. I took part of that money and invested aggressively in stocks. It was late 2000--the peak of the tech bubble. If I'd shorted the same portfolio instead of buying it, that account would be 8+ figures. Instead, I am still working through the loss carry forwards. Stupid 29yo me. :lol:
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:lmao:

JFC

 
There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm at this website instead of another football website......or because you 4 digiters think I should. I look back on the way I was then, a young, stupid kid who committed that crime of taking Kevan Barlow over Shaun Alexander....of not listening in regards to Willie Parker.. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. Tell him....tell him....don't get involved in the Denver backfield...don't believe the Jermichael Finley hype. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bull#### word. So you go on and give me your predictions, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a ####.

 
Thunderlips said:
There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm at this website instead of another football website......or because you 4 digiters think I should. I look back on the way I was then, a young, stupid kid who committed that crime of taking Kevan Barlow over Shaun Alexander....of not listening in regards to Willie Parker.. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. Tell him....tell him....don't get involved in the Denver backfield...don't believe the Jermichael Finley hype. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bull#### word. So you go on and give me your predictions, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a ####.
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Yeah, I wish I could have that Oronde Gadsden - Donald Hayes trade back.

 
Charlie Steiner said:
I can pinpoint a few pivotal moments in my life and have already played 'what if' with them.
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This. some personal, some professional and I'd think that everyone could look back like this.

A few professional:

Coulda shoulda joined the Air Force as a friend of mine did. Now this was Vietnam era and I'd just avoided the draft lottery so the mindset wasn't working that way--but he enlisted, selected "heavy equipment operation" for his field, and spent 6 years on an island in the South Pacific learning a trade that paid off in a huge way upon his return.

Worked instead with a doctor, building up enough cash to go to college. Liked both Duke and Carolina, both for their marine science programs. Of course I knew I could never afford Duke so I only applied to Carolina. When the Doc surprised me with a 100% free ride to Duke it was too late to get my application in and I ended up working my way through Carolina.

Never could afford the graduate work for the field of study I was looking for, working my way through with a combination of construction and restaurant work. Took an advanced math class at the time with a newly developed computer applications process involved. That was challenging--though I was pretty good at it--writing up programs on punch cards to determine values to some degree never before imagined. Teeeeedious! A friend got a job in the University working in their newly developed computer lab and found a position for me to join him--but I wasn't having anything to do with it! Had I joined him I would have been in on the ground floor and long retired by now, instead of being still involved in the paths which commercial construction and food services have led.

When I ever feel a tinge of regret I remind myself of what I'd have missed on those pursuits that I've appreciated on the one I'm riding! :cool:

 
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